贴一篇雨点的英文作文吧。过去若干年来我们俩的斗争全在这篇文章里面了：

   “每一次，当我刚刚融入环境，她（指的是我）就要把我扯走，就像撕下一块创可贴。”

   “我妈妈给我讲了一通大道理，我也意识到我不能在申请大学的材料里写上‘在考试中作弊，帮助了六个同学及格’。”

    感动我至深的是最后一段话：“现在我承认我真地不知道自己的方向。但是我应该踏实坐稳，享受旅程，而不是试图掌控。我已经不再惧怕黑暗，已经接受了未知。”

    现在轮到我终于看到一点光明了。

My Path to Now

       “We’re going back to China” my mom said, over the phone. She sounded like she decided this quite a while ago, and just remembered to tell me now. That was probably the case, since she was in California, and I was in Vancouver.

       “Why?” I asked her calmly. You’d probably expect me react differently, but I wasn’t surprised. You see, I’ve never really stayed at the same school for more than a year or two. On top of that, for the last month or two, I’ve sort of been staying home alone. My mom pays my best friend’s mom to feed me once in a while, and she sleeps over practically every single day, but it still wasn’t the same as living with your own family. I’ve been expecting this for quite a while.

       “The way we’ve been living… We need to go back” I wondered why she had to think of these things just as I settle into a school. Every single time just as I settle into life, she has to tear me away like ripping off a band aid.

“When? I asked. This ringing noise vibrated in my ears, and I had to hold my breath to not cry in front of her. Even though I expected this, I was still hoping for it not to happen. Like that test you took, knew you did horribly in, but still hoped for a good grade.

       “In a month or so I guess… We have to remem-” I hung up before she could finish her sentence. My heart felt like it dropped to my feet, rolled out the door, and got ran over by a drunken truck driver. My vision turned blurry and I realized I was pacing back and forth. I slid down to the floor and the thoughts started flooding in. The last time I was in Beijing, the second I stepped off the plane I couldn’t stop coughing because of the pollution, got stuck in traffic for two hours on the way home from the airport, and spent the rest of the time trying to piece together what was going on in Canada with the bits and pieces of spam Facebook emailed me saying things like “Sophia checked in at pizza hut with Vivian and Jessica”, and “You have 5 new friend requests”

       I used to be so big headed. I never tried new things because I thought that I knew everything worth knowing. I thought that I could do anything. I thought I had my whole future planned out. In a way, ignorance was bliss.

       Even though I assumed I was going to lock myself in my room until my parents agreed to let me go back to Canada, I adapted very quickly. The new school wasn’t THIS. The best way I could describe it is Chinese private school. I loved my new school in ways I could never even think of loving my old one. The new school was so much more free, and no one really took anything too seriously. Class was filled with people doing random things, including eating, sleeping, jump roping, ditching class, and reading comic books. Nights in the dorm were spent having contests where we would try to be the last one awake. I fell in love with the way they didn’t think about the future, not even the next day, and laughed at all of their problems. They didn’t care much about anything, and life just seemed so easy. So, when my mom brought up THIS, I didn’t take her very seriously.

       “I’ve been looking at some schools” She said. That didn’t surprise me very much. She was always looking at schools. What surprised me was the tone of her voice. It sounded like she was trying not to set off a bomb.

       “So?” I asked, thinking that she’ll forget this very soon.

       “I really like one of them, and it’s a real international school too!” She was referring to the fact that the school I was going to called themselves an international school, but half the people didn’t understand a thing the foreign teachers said.

       “I’m not going, okay?”I answered. I loved my school too much. The thought of being anywhere else was unbearable, so I just didn’t think much about it.

       “Just take the entry test, and if you don’t like the school, you don’t have to go, okay?” Her logic was inescapable, I had to say yes. There really was no harm in taking the entry test.

       “Fine, but I’m not going to that school next year.” I decided.

       The day I went for the test, I was less nervous than I was when I decided on coke at McDonald’s instead of orange soda. I knew that I wasn’t going to go there anyways, who cared about if I got in or not?

       The test went a little like this; “What is Timmy doing?” The guy who was testing me asked and pointed at a picture of a boy painting.

       “Painting” I answered, and rolled my eyes a little.

       “And what color is he using?” He asked patiently.

       “Uh, blue?”

       “Good!” He said, the way you’d talk to a kindergartener who learned to spell their own name.

      My little brother was extremely nervous though. My mom got him with the whole better for your future talk. He thought he’d grow up to be a hobo if he didn’t get in. He literally cried for a whole hour after he found out I got in and not him. I almost did too for the opposite reason, but I burst out laughing at the irony of it. It’s a good thing they gave him a second chance the next month.

       That night, my mom gave me the good for your future lecture too. It kept me up all night.

The more I thought about, the more I knew that my future isn’t going anywhere at that school. Hula hooped during history, got the whole class to stay up all night and then sleep all day in class the next day, and helped at least six people pass the English final exam by shouting out all of the multiple choice answers aren’t exactly the most impressive things to put on my college application.

      By the next morning, I knew that I had to suck it up for my future. Before I could regret it, I told my mom wire the money for next year. 

      Looking back on my path to now, I can see how twisted it was. Parts of it were so narrow and dark I wandered off into the woods. I just hope that I’m on the right path now. I guess that if I was in Canada, this would be my first year of high school. I would be walking to seven eleven for slurpees after school instead of getting squashed by strangers on the subway. Instead of Chinese class, we’d have French class, and pollution would be this far away concept buried in the back of my mind.

    I’ve changed so much too. Now I know that there’s so much to know in the world I would turn 693 before I knew it all. I now admit that I really have no idea where I’m going, and I should really just sit back and enjoy the ride instead of trying to control it all. I am no longer afraid of the dark, because I have accepted the unknown.