Violet毫不吝惜对我们的鼓励，我不知道她给其他同学的评价如何，但从她给我的批语中可以看出，她觉得我是一个纯真的、成熟的人，经常将pure 、mature这样的评语送给我。我想正是因为这个，她在给我的评语中会写下一些真实的感受，也为我批改了一些本不是作业、纯是为了练笔的生活断想。

例如，我把自己的感想译过去交给她：

                         Some jottings on life

To be alive is easy, but life is hard.

It is also difficult to triumph over ourselves. Sometimes we can not control our emotions . Facing this complex world, we experience puzzlement. Sometimes, we feel we do not know what real life is and what we live for. The world is crowded, full of anxiety and impatience.(此处，Violet写到：Can you give examples?)

Sometimes, we have a vacant mind as if we were walking corpses. We can not identify the significance of life. Maybe sometimes, we are seen as excited, but our apparent happiness does not ease the numb and insensitive soul. ( Violet问：Do you mean sensitive, here? Paralyzed? ) We feel this world has no interest. So we sometimes immerse ourselves in drinking. But after we are clear-headed, we are in more mental agony, then getting numbness (Violet问：experience a numb-like pain?又写到：You are entitled to some same Fun now & again!可我没明白是啥意思。)

Then ……

We feel happy, as if the world has suddenly changed to another one. So the gloomy clouds are blown over, and the sky is blue, the sun is brilliant. Then life reappears with its lovely significance again. We do what we should do warmly.

Well ……

The nightmare comes again ……

The sun shines again ……

Oh , I really do not know how to live and explain this life, or, perhaps, I even do not know what I am ……

Violet在第一页的底部写到：“In what way can you not control emotions, which emotions? Describe them! Which complexities? Are you suggesting the soul is insensitive because it is numb? Does drinking really help? I mean to escape what is troubling us? So often drinking can bring about serious depression & suicide.”

Violet认为我应该更为详细地阐述某几个观点。有点像清教徒似的她，不太理解以酒浇愁的事，她认为长期酗酒会导致精神抑郁乃至自杀。在课堂上，她专门对“自杀”的话题搞了几次Topic，要大家谈论如何看待这一社会现象。由于她过于关注与人类心理有关的各种古怪行为，我们都或多或少地有点以为她的内心很是复杂，至于怎么个复杂法，我也说不出来。联想到后来她跟我们之间的冲突，似乎有点模糊的启发。

她在我的这篇短文之后，写下了密密麻麻的她自己的感想：

Louie, this is such a personal essay revealing your own intimate experience of life. You seem to express mood shifts from feelings of joyful happiness to depression & sadness. I sometimes envy people who get great comfort from religious belief that makes life significant for them. Their belief gives them faith in a purpose for life. I had a friend with so much spiritually strength , I could actually feel myself receiving this strange strength from her at a time of great need. She appeared to have the power to heal spiritually. We all have our Fear, Pain & difficulties. That is why we have to remember to be kind to one another while we have one another, and that is enough for me. I think when we speak of the difficulties of life, and have a true communion with others concerning its mysteries, we help one another to find a way through its sometimes painful course.

可以看出，Violet是在把我当成能够倾谈思想的朋友进行交流，她还提到她从她的朋友那里得到一种感召力量。上述那些话我并没全懂，但大体上我明白她的意思。她认为我对生活的看法有点悲观，并想通过她个人的感受来说服、引导我乐观起来。我不知道她是不是基督徒，但她的确认为理想、信念、乃至宗教，对于一个人的精神生活是至关重要的。