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加载中…| 分类： 烟火日子 |
| 分类： 读书笔记 |
| 分类： 读书笔记 |
Perfectionism often starts in childhood. At a young age, we’re told to reach for the stars — parents and teachers encourage their children to become high achievers and give them gold stars for work well done (and in some cases, punishing them for failing to measure up). Perfectionists learn early on to live by the words “I achieve, therefore I am” — and nothing thrills them quite like impressing others (or themselves) with their performance.
Unfortunately, chasing those straight A’s — in school, work and life — can lead to a lifetime of frustration and self-doubt.
“The reach for perfection can be painful because it is often driven by both a desire to do well and a fear of the consequences of not doing well,” says psychologist Monica Ramirez Basco. “This is the double-edged sword of perfectionism.”
2. You know your drive to perfection is hurting you, but you consider it the price you pay for success.
The prototypical perfectionist is someone who will go to great (and often unhealthy) lengths to avoid being average or mediocre, and who takes on a “no pain, no gain” mentality in their pursuit of greatness. Although perfectionists aren’t necessarily high achievers, perfectionism is frequently tied to workaholism.
“[The perfectionist] acknowledges that his relentless standards are stressful and somewhat unreasonable, but he believes they drive him to levels of excellence and productivity he could never attain otherwise,” Burns writes.
3. You’re a big procrastinator.
The great irony of perfectionism is that while it’s characterized by an intense drive to succeed, it can be the very thing that prevents success. Perfectionism is highly correlated with fear of failure (which is generally not the best motivator) and self-defeating behavior, such as excessive procrastination.
Studies have shows that other-oriented perfectionism (a maladaptive form of perfectionism which is motivated by the desire for social approval), is linked with the tendency to put off tasks. Among these other-oriented perfectionists, procrastination stems largely from the anticipation of disapproval from others, according to York University researchers. Adaptive perfectionists, on the other hand, are less prone to procrastination.
4. You’re highly critical of others.
Being judgmental toward others is a common psychological defense mechanism: we reject in others what we can’t accept in ourselves. And for perfectionists, there can be alot to reject. Perfectionists are highly discriminating, and few are beyond the reach of their critical eye.
By being less tough on others, some perfectionists might find that they start easing up on themselves.
“Look not to the faults of others, nor to their omissions and commissions,” the Buddha wisely advised. “But rather look to your own acts, to what you have done and left undone.”
5. You go big or go home.
Many perfectionists struggle with black-and-white thinking — you’re a success one moment and a failure the next, based on your lastest accomplishment or failure — and they do things in extremes. If you have perfectionist tendencies, you’ll probably only throw yourself into a new project or task if you know there’s a good chance you can succeed — and if there’s a risk of failure, you’ll likely avoid it altogether. Studies have found perfectionists to be risk-averse, which can inhibit innovation and creativity.
For perfectionists, life is an all or nothing game. When a perfectionist sets her mind to something, her powerful drive and ambition can lead her to stop at nothing to accomplish that goal. It’s unsurprising, then, that perfectionists are at high risk for eating disorders.
6. You have a hard time opening up to other people.
Author and researcher Brene Brown has called perfectionism a “20-ton shield” that we carry around to protect ourselves from getting hurt — but in most cases, perfectionism simply prevents us from truly connecting with others.
Because of their intense fear of failure and rejection, perfectionists often have a hard time letting themselves be exposed or vulnerable, according to psychologist Shauna Springer.
“It is very hard for a perfectionist to share his or her internal experience with a partner,” Springer writes in Psychology Today. “Perfectionists often feel that they must always be strong and in control of their emotions. A perfectionist may avoid talking about personal fears, inadequacies, insecurities, and disappointments with others, even with those with whom they are closest.”
7. You know there’s no use crying over spilt milk... but you do anyway.
Whether it’s burning the cookies or being five minutes late for a meeting, the perfection-seeking tend to obsess over every little mistake. This can add up to a whole lot of meltdowns, existential crises, and grown-up temper tantrums. When your main focus is on failure and you’re driven by the desire to avoid it at all costs, even the smallest infraction is evidence for a grand thesis of personal failure.
“Lacking a deep and consistent source of self-esteem, failures hit especially hard for perfectionists, and may lead to long bouts of depression and withdrawal in some individuals,” writes Springer.
8. You take everything personally.
Because they take every setback and criticism personally, perfectionists tend to be less resilient than others. Rather than bouncing back from challenges and mistakes, the perfectionist is beaten down by them, taking every misstep as evidence for the truth of their deepest, continually plaguing fear: “I’m not good enough.”
9. ... And you get really defensive when criticized.
You might be able to pick out a perfectionist in conversation when they jump to defend themselves at even the slightest hint of a criticism. In an effort to preserve their fragile self-image and the way they appear to others, a perfectionist tries to take control by defending themselves against any threat — even when no defense is needed.
10. You’re never quite “there yet.”
Because perfection is, of course, an impossible pursuit, perfectionists tend to have the perpetual feeling that they’re not quite there yet. Self-described perfectionist Christina Aguilera told InStyle in 2010 that she focuses on all the things she hasn’t yet accomplished, which gives her a drive to constantly out-do herself.
“I am an overachiever and an extreme perfectionist,” Aguilera said. “I would like to do more film and I feel that I still have yet to acquire the type of success that I desire. I’m sure there will definitely be a place that I will be at peace with knowing I’ve accomplished a lot.”
11. The image below makes you nervous.
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12. You take pleasure in someone else’s failure, even though it has nothing to do with you.
Misery loves company, and perfectionists — who spend a lot of time and energy thinking and worrying about their own failure — can find relief and even pleasure in others’ challenges. For a moment, taking pleasure in someone else’s shortcomings might make you feel better about yourself, but in the long term, it only reinforces the kind of competitive and judgmental thinking that perfectionists thrive on.
Underneath it all, perfectionists are often plagued by guilt and shame. Maladaptive perfectionism — a drive to perfection that generally has social roots, and a feeling of pressure to succeed that derives from external, rather than internal, sources — is highly correlated with depression, anxiety, shame and guilt.
“Perfectionism is not about striving for excellence or healthy striving,” Brown told Oprah. “It’s… a way of thinking and feeling that says this: ‘If I look perfect, do it perfect, work perfect and live perfect, I can avoid or minimize shame, blame and judgment.’”
Brown’s remedy? Try practicing authenticity. Let others see you, exactly as you are, and let go of the protecting shield of perfectionism in order to express vulnerability.
“Authenticity is a practice and you choose it every day,” she says, “sometimes every hour of every day.”
－－－Carolyn Gregoire
| 分类： 读书笔记 |
| 分类： 读书笔记 |
伯尔赫斯·弗雷德里克·斯金纳（英语：Burrhus Frederic Skinner，1904年3月20日－1990年8月18日）出生于美国宾夕法尼亚州萨斯奎汉纳，逝世于马萨诸塞州坎布里奇。斯金纳是一位美国心理学家，行为学家，作家，发明家，社会学者及新行为主义的主要代表。他在1958至1974年间担任哈佛大学心理教授的职位。他引入了操作条件性刺激，还写了著名的小说《桃源二村》。
斯金纳发明了著名的斯金纳盒，引入了操作条件性刺激来解释这一现象（下文有详述）。 他改革了激进行为主义并且创立了自己的实验型研究心理学——实验型分析行为学。他在人类行为学上的作为在《言语行为》一书的出版后达到顶峰。
在心理学研究中，斯金纳首先提出并改进了反应率这一概念作为因变量。他还发明了累积性记录作为测量反应率的工具，后者为他的著名行为学理念强化的提出奠定了基础。在2002年六月的一个调查中，斯金纳被认为是20世纪最有影响力的心理学家之一。[2]
斯金纳箱（英語：Skinner Box）内装有一个操纵杆，下面有一个是食物盘，操纵杆与提供食丸的装置相连。只要箱内的动物按压操纵杆，就会有一粒食丸滚到食物盘内。斯金纳将饥饿的白鼠放于箱内，白鼠在箱内乱跑，活动中偶尔踏上操作杆，就有一粒食丸掉落在食物盘内，白鼠便吃到了食丸。白鼠经过几次尝试，会不断按压杠杆，直到吃饱为止。于是斯金纳认为，有机体做出的反应与其随后出现的刺激条件之间的关系对行为起着控制作用，它能影响以后反应发生的概率。
通过他的试验他发现老鼠不仅由“事先”的刺激激发拨动开关，而且也由“事后”的刺激拨动开关。他发现动物的行动不仅仅是简单的“刺激-反应”，动物的行动也受到周围环境的影响，比如事后的磁疗奖赏。斯金纳将这个行为称为“条件性刺激”，他不用“学习”这个词，因为他认为学习这个词含有动物有意图地做一件事的含义，而这个意图并没有在这个试验中反映出来，因此是不科学的。
由于他的动物心理学试验非常成功，因此他1931年获得博士学位后继续在哈佛待了五年，继续他的独立研究。1936年他转到明尼亚波利斯的明尼苏达大学，但在那里他没有继续他的工作。1944年，在第二次世界大战中德国开始使用火箭攻击英国，而盟军当时还没有类似的武器，因此斯金纳又开始了他的试验研究。他的研究（今天看来非常古怪）是一个绝对保密的军事研究。他打算训练鸽子，让它们用它们的啄的动作来控制火箭的飞行。后来这个控制由雷达来指挥，没有用鸽子。但他的试验也获得了一些科学结果，一些鸽子的行为的电影非常有效地证明了迷信的起源。之後斯金纳開始藉由老鼠來進行實驗，因為老鼠活得更久且較易處理及飼養。
1948年斯金纳回到哈佛并在那里一直待到他1974年退休。同年他发表了《桃源二村》。在这部小说中他描写了在一个操作条件性刺激所形成的社会中的生活。直到今天这部小说依然有很大的意义。这本至今很值得读的小说也是斯金纳最著名的著作。由于书中所描写的社会和行为技术它被看作是一个反面的乌托邦，这与斯金纳本来的意图正好相反。书中并未回答一个非常重要的问题：誰有資格創造控制著每個人每個生活細節之社會規則的權力。
使用他的动物试验的经验和他在《桃源二村》(Walden two)中已经描写过的学习理论斯金纳提出了程序学习的学习方法。他将学习的内容分为许多小块。学习的人在学会后获得可以学下一步的奖励。这样尤其是自学的人可以不断鼓励自己学习和控制学习的进展。语言实验室也是斯金纳的发明。
斯金纳的主要著作《科学与人类行为》是1953年发表的，但他一直到高龄依然写书和文章，甚至在1989年他被诊断患白血病后依然在写作。在他逝世前十天他还在美国心理学协会作报告。他的女儿说：“他在1990年8月18日，他逝世的当日，完成了这次报告的文章。”
斯金纳引入了操作条件性刺激这个概念来与传统的条件性刺激相区别。
最初由伊万·巴甫洛夫发现的传统的条件性刺激是对一个固定的刺激的反应。除一般的刺激（比如饲料）外同时还有另一个完全不同的刺激（比如铃声），因此在条件性刺激成功地建立后只要铃声响就会有唾液流出。
操作条件性刺激与此不同的是在这里还增加了一个新的元素：行为后还有一个后果。尤其对试验动物好的后果的效果特别有效，比如奖励饲料。但不好的后果也可以训练出来，比如对猫或其它试验动物使用水枪进行惩罚。
也就是说，传统的条件性刺激只是基于已存在的反应上对它进行变化，而操作条件性反应则产生了新的行为模式。训马早就采纳了斯金纳系统化的行为研究所获得的技术了。
用公式来表示：
藉由史肯納箱的實驗，即是讓受試者置於一個控制穩定的情境，對於行為後果給予系統性的改變，並觀察行為改變的情形。也因為史肯納操作制約的研究，使得行為取向的學習理論大體建立，並產生了若干原則，可以提供教育現場進行觀察與應用。
(一)行為後果: 行為會因為立即性後果而改變，比如獎賞、懲罰學生都必須重視時效。
(二)增強物: 不僅限於食物以及金錢等原級增強物(primary reinforcer)，尚有次級增強物(secondary reinforcer)，如社會增強物、活動增強物、代幣增強物等。亦有正增強物及負增強物，負增強物並非等於懲罰。比如前幾週的新聞，家長與學生對話內容，將加油站小弟視為是一種低賤的工作，即是一種負增強作用。
(三)內在外在增強物: 由於內在動機從事增強物及行為，即是內在增強物，其他均屬外在動機。
(四)懲罰物與懲罰: 進行懲罰時，如果沒有減少該行為出現的頻率，後果就不是懲罰物。有如學生藉由離開教室以躲避教室內的上課環境。在方法普遍上有兩種：呈現型懲罰(責罵、體罰)及撤離型懲罰(暫停法)。
(五)後果的立即性: 小而立即的增強效果，高於大而延宕的增強物。
(六)塑造: 指學習一個新技能或行為，只要對象更接近終點行為，就給予增強，直到學會為止。
(七)消弱: 增強物可以強化行為，但是當增強物取消時，行為一般很容易弱化，最後消失不見。在教學現場老師可用忽視於學生的課堂不當行為。
(八)增強的時制: 一開始固定時距比例增強可以幫助激勵一個人做大量的工作，然而若以長時間來看，不定比例時距增強效果還遠高過固定比例時距增強。
(九)維持: 行為本身就有增強力量，透過從事學習行為本身就能帶來樂趣；也因此即使他們並未得到原先的增強，仍能達到行為維持的效果。
(十)先行物的角色: 不是行為之後的後果有影響力，行為前的刺激如辨別、類化技巧都可以發揮作用。在班級經營上，透過辨別行動，可以避免學生浪費時間嘗試錯誤；類化技巧則可以幫助學生將學習到的新觀念類化到不同情境之上。
| 分类： 读书笔记 |
| 分类： 读书笔记 |
| 分类： 烟火日子 |
