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No.Strings.Attached.不求回报枕边冇情人(港)饭饭之交(台)中英字幕(仅供学习)

(2011-05-28 18:13:29)
标签:

中英字幕

教育


So... I'm pretty good at archery.
其实…我箭术不错的
That'll be useful if you ever have a time machine
如果你用时光机回到过去 时光机又报废了
and your time machine breaks, and you're stuck in the Medieval Ages.
你只能老老实实呆在中世纪的时候 箭术倒是会有用的
You're funny. It's weird.
你挺有意思的,笑话也很怪
Yeah. I'm weird.
对啊,我就一怪人
Me too.
我也是
Yeah, right. Everyone loves you and your dad's like famous, or something.
得了吧,你那么受欢迎 老爸又那么有名
My parents are getting a divorce, that's why I had to go to camp, so...
我爸妈离婚了,所以我才来露营的…
- Are you crying?  - No.
- 你哭了吗? - 没
Jesus.
神啊
Look... I'm not really an affectionate person.
听着…我不是个感性的人
People aren't meant to be together forever.
没有人是注定永远在一起的
You think so?
你这么想?
Yeah.
对啊
Can I finger you?
我能勾搭你么?
No.
不行
OK.
好吧
《爱情无线牵》
5年前
- Come on, baby, I got ya!  - Don't drop me!
- 宝贝来吧,有我在! - 别摔着我!
Hey! Hey!

Patrice!
帕翠斯!
Oh, my God! I told you that this was a pajama party.
天啊!我说了这是睡衣派对
What are you wearing? What is this?
你穿的这是什么?这个?
You're wearing actual long johns? What?
你还真把长内衣裤穿来了?搞什么啊?
This is a frat party.
这可是荒淫派对
You just have to be drunk and look hot.
你只要负责喝醉和耍性感
Watch and learn.
看好了,跟姐学
Hey. Hey!

I'm so drunk!
姐喝高了!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
喝!喝!喝!
Hey, do you know that girl?
你认识那个女孩吗?
The sexy pioneer?
最性感的那个?
I think I know her.
我觉得我认识她
I'd have sex with a pioneer. For sure.
我要和最性感的做爱,绝对要
A hungry pioneer lost on the trail.
喝茫了的饥渴性感妞
- Do I know you?  - Hi, Adam Franklin of Camp Weehawken.
- 我们认识么? - 好啊,威霍肯露营的亚当•富兰克林
I'm Emma Kurtzman. You tried to finger me?
我是艾玛•库兹曼,你还想勾搭(指着)我呢?
Yeah. Wow! Do you go here? Why?
我就说嘛!你是这的学生?
- What are you doing at a party of frat?  - No. I go to MIT,
- 你怎么来参加联谊会了? - 不是,我念的麻省理工
but I have this family thing, and I grew up in Ann Arbor.
但是在这儿家里有点事情, 而且我在安阿伯市(密歇根州)长大的
MIT? Wow. So you grew up to be a lot smarter than me.
麻省理工?所以你现在可比我聪明多了
Yeah, sometimes my neck gets sore.
还行,就是有时候脖子比较酸
- Why?  - 'Cause my brain's so big.
- 为什么? - 脑袋太大了
I agree, it didn't work. Drop it.
好吧,这招不管用,算了
I like you.
我喜欢你
What? Why? You don't even know me.
怎么会?你都不了解我
I like you.
我就是喜欢你了
I have to go to this stupid thing tomorrow. You wanna come with me?
明天我要去做件蠢事,你要一起吗?
Yeah, sure. I'll come with you.
好啊,我跟你一起
- What is it?  - Some stupid thing.
- 是什么事呢? - 就是件很蠢的事情
I wanted to leave you with something David said to me
我想和大家分享一些大卫在实验室里
almost every day at the lab.
几乎每天都会跟我说的话
It's Einstein.
爱因斯坦的名言
"There are only two ways to live your life.
“世界上只有两种生活方式:
One, as if nothing is a miracle.
一种是不相信任何奇迹
The other, as if everything is a miracle."
另一种是相信一切都是奇迹”
For David, there was no bigger miracle than his family.
对大卫来说, 他生命中最大的奇迹就是他的家人
His daughters, Emma and Katie, and his wife, Sandra.
他的女儿艾玛和凯蒂,以及他的妻子桑德拉
Mom?
妈妈?
I want you to meet Adam.
我想让你见见亚当
I'm so sorry.
节哀
And this is my sister, Katie, and her lover, Kevin.
这是我的妹妹凯蒂和她的情人,凯文
Boyfriend. And my best friend.
是男友,也是最好的朋友
Oh, well... thank you. I didn't know you were dating someone, Emma.
谢谢你,艾玛,我都不知道你有男朋友了
Oh, I'm not.
不是这样的
I just had a one-night stand with him when I was 14.
就是14岁的时候跟他有过一夜情
It was a really nice funeral.
葬礼很隆重
I'm sorry.
对不起
I'm glad you stayed.
我很高兴你留下来了
Me too.
我也是
So, I'll call you, or something...
我会打你电话的
Adam, you're wonderful.
亚当,你人很好
If you're lucky, you're never gonna see me again.
运气够好的话,你永远也不会见到我了
1年前
Yes.
Hey.

Did we? Yes, we did. We went to college together.
我们认识?对了,是大学校友
You have two gay dads.
你有两个同志老爸
Yeah, I'm the man with the two gay dads.
就是我啦
They helped me move my boxes sophomore year.
大二的时候,他们还帮我搬过箱子
They're the best. I love them. I'm super straight, though.
他们都是好人,我爱他们 但哥是纯爷们
- So, yeah.  - OK.
- 所以… - 好吧
- You're Patrice, right?  - Yes.
- 你叫帕翠斯,对吧? - 是的
Yeah, Eli. I'm with... Adam!
我叫伊莱,和我的朋友…亚当!
I'll be right back.
我去去就回
Pick up some of that kettle corn.
再买点玉米汁
- It's Patrice.  - Hey!
- 这是帕翠斯 - 嘿!
- Patrice! Hey!  - How are you?
- 帕翠斯! - 你怎么样了?
- Weird.  - Wow.
没想到
I haven't seen you in... Wow.
好久不见
- How are you?  - Good.
- 过的怎么样? - 很好
Adam.
亚当
Emma.
艾玛
What is this, the Peach Pit?
什么情况,熟人见面分外眼红?
- And, yeah, that was a 90210 reference.  - Yeah, you're super straight.
- 对啊,我用了《新飞跃比佛利》里的台词 - 你果然纯爷们
- What are you doing here?  - I just moved here a week ago.
- 你在这儿做什么? - 我一周前刚搬来
I'm doing my residency at the Westwood Teaching Hospital.
现在在韦斯特伍德教学医院当实习医生
- Hi.  - Vanessa, this is Emma.
维妮莎,这是艾玛
- Emma, Vanessa.  - Hi. How do you do?
- 艾玛,这是维娜莎 - 你好
This is our friend, Patrice.
这是我们的朋友,帕翠斯
- Hi. How do you do?  - How do I what?
- 你好 - 什么?
- Hi.  - Hi.

Hi, you look nice.
你真美
It's nice to meet you.
很高兴认识你
You remember my sister, Katie. She's just finishing school here.
还记得我妹妹凯蒂么,她刚毕业
Yeah. I haven't seen you guys since...
我好久没见过你们了,自从…
- Yeah, Dad's funeral.  - Dad's funeral.
- 是啊,老爸的葬礼 - 老爸的葬礼
Sad.
哦,真让人伤心
OK. Well, we should head out, so...
好吧,我们该走了…
Yeah, we should, too. You know...
是啊,我们也该闪人了
But we should hang out. Let me just... I'll get your number.
我们有空出来玩吧 让我…记下你的电话
Yeah, just give me your phone. I'll put it in there.
电话给我,我打进去
Yeah, that's probably easier.
好,那样方便
We really have to be somewhere now, so...
我们真的得走了…
Yeah. We should...
我们应该…
Totally. Totally.
必须的
All right, well, good to hang out.
那好,这样很好
- Good seeing you guys. Have fun.  - Yeah.
见到你们真高兴,你们玩的开心哈
- Take care.  - Take care, ladies.
- 保重 - 保重,女士们
现在
And cut!
咔!
- Great.  - That's good.
- 很好 - 很棒
- OK! Yeah!  - Great. Great.
- 很好! - 很棒!
OK, guys, we're gonna do this again. All right? Five minutes.
大家再来一遍,好吗?休息五分钟
- All right, let's...  - Good job.
- 好吧 - 好样的
- Great job. Great job...  - Wait. What are, people?

- Hey, Benji! Good scene.  - Cool. Thanks.
- 本杰明!跳到真好 - 谢啦
You looked great!
闪亮亮的!
Sari. I told you to play hard to get.
萨莉,不是告诉你要欲擒故纵嘛
I'm incredibly easy to get!
可我就是很容易被追到的
Adam.
亚当
You were gonna ask me something before the break.
休息之前你要问我的事情
- What was it?  - Yeah, I...
- 是什么? - 我…
Wait, wait, wait. Fuck, fuckety-fuck. What was it? Stop.
等下,法克,什么来着?
You wanted to know if you could get off early to see your dad,
你想问是不是能提前下班,去看你爸
- which is, yeah, totally fine.  - Thank you.
- 答案是,当然可以啦 - 谢谢
By the way, tell your dad, it's like my favorite show ever.
顺便告诉你爸,我最喜欢看他的节目了
Love it, own it, lost it, bought it again. It's so great.
喜欢就买了碟,搞丢了,再买,实在太好看了
"Great Scott!"
“好样的!”
- You probably hear that all the time.  - Not that much.
- 你应该一直听到这个吧 - 还好啦
Yeah.
查克!
Chuck!

Chuck! If I catch you taking pictures of your dick one more time,
查克!如果我再看到你自拍下体
I'm gonna take that thing away.
我就没收你手机,顺便阉了你
Hello. How can I help you?
有什么能效劳的吗?
- Hey, Philippe, it's Adam.  - Hi. Come in.
- 菲利普,我是亚当 - 进来吧
- Hey, Dad.  - Hey.
老爸
Check it out.
快看看
Vinyasa yoga and the Army Ranger workout.
流瑜伽和陆军游骑兵的把式
- I combined them!  - Wow. That's very impressive.
- 我把它们融合了 - 厉害啊
I'm gonna do a video, I think. Vinyasa Power.
我要拍个录像,力度流瑜伽
I can almost see where your muscles go.
我都能看出你的肌肉线条了
Very funny. Hit me.
取笑我?给我一拳
No, I'm not gonna hit you. I don't want to hurt you.
算了,我可不想伤着你
You're not gonna hurt me.
你伤不了我
Come on, hit me. Give me your best shot.
来,打我,使出全力
Come on, quick, before I get a hernia!
快点,再不来我要得疝气了
No.
不要
You're right. Let's smoke some weed.
好吧,我抽点大麻去
This is really good stuff.
这可是好货色
My agent got me one of those medical marijuana cards.
我的经纪人给我弄了张医用大麻卡
It's nice to see they're supporting your career.
他这还真是帮倒忙
Yeah. So, how's the show going?
那节目怎么样?
I mean, great.
挺好的
I mean, it's about high-schoolers who sing and dance and blog.
都是些高中生唱歌、跳舞、写博客的事
At least you're writing, that's what's important.
最起码你有编剧,这才是重点
No. I'm an assistant.
不算,我只是个助手
Well, but... at least they've seen your writing.
好吧,但起码他们看过你的作品
Not yet.
还没
Actually...
事实上…
I wanted to get your opinion on this episode that I wrote.
我写了一集,想听听你的意见
Kind of a sample.
算是初稿
That's my boy.
我儿子的名字
I'll take a look at it, sure. And then I'll call somebody.
我肯定会看的,然后帮你联系联系
No. Do not call anyone. Just read it and tell me what you think.
不用,不要找人帮忙, 你读一读,给点意见就行
OK.
好吧
So...
那么…
Are you having sex?
你现在还有性生活么?
Yes. I'm having sex.
我当然有
'Cause if you want any pointers, you know...
如果你需要指点的话…
I can help you out. If there's one thing you learn
我能帮忙,你知道,两段失败的婚姻后
after two failed marriages, it's how to eat kitty.
我倒是学到一件事,就是如何把妹
- Anyone special?  - No.
- 有看上的吗? - 没有
I mean, not since Vanessa.
维娜莎之后就没了
It's been a year. It's time to move on.
都分了一年了,你该找个新的了
It's been eight months, Dad.
才八个月,老爸
What did you want to talk to me about, anyway?
你找我来到底要干嘛?
- You got a dog? Seriously, that's...  - Freckles! Come!
- 你养狗了? - 斑斑!回来!
You didn't tell him yet?
你还没告诉他?
Damn!
该死
I...
我…
Adam, I wanted to tell you. I was just about to tell you.
亚当,我打算告诉你的,我正准备要讲
How long?
在一起多久了?
- Well...  - How long?
多久了?
Not long. I...
没多久,我…
She needed a place to stay because, you know, her landlord is such a D-bag.
她要个落脚的地方,她的房东就是一傻B
Christmas. I ran into her at a party.
圣诞节的时候,我在一个派对上碰到她
We got to talking. About you, mostly.
我们聊了起来,主要在讲你的事情
It looked so soft!
原来都是肥肉!
It's not. God!
当然不是,天啊
Oh, that really hurt. Damn.
痛死我了,TM的
You're fucking my ex-girlfriend?
你和我的前女友乱搞?
Well, yeah, but...
是的,但是…
- She's just so hot.  - I know how hot she is.
- 她太勾人了 - 还要你说
- That's really sweet. Thanks, guys.  - Fuck you!
- 多谢你们称赞 - 草泥马!
Adam. All right, I'm not the perfect dad.
亚当,我知道,我不是个好爸爸
But the worst thing you can do in life is to say no to love.
但是,人活着怎么能拒绝真爱
And I think she really loves me.
我觉得她真的爱我
Don't.
别这样
Adam.
亚当
Hey, you know the best part about my gay dads?
你知道有同性恋老爸的最大好处是什么吗?
What?
什么?
They're never gonna eat out my ex-girlfriends.
他们从来不会偷吃我的前女友
That's true.
正解
Hey, I heard. You and your dad are tunnel buddies, huh?
我听说,你和你老爸睡了同一个女人
- Wow, Wallace!  - She chose your dad over you, man.
- 华莱士! - 结果她甩了你,跟了你爸
That's like trading an iPod for a 8 track.
这就像是用iPod去换随身听
You need to get even. Go have sex with one of his ex-girlfriends.
你得报复他,去睡他的前女友
Hey, you think when he's busting a nut,
哎,你觉得你爸要射的时候,
he's like, "Great Scott"? No?
也会喊,“好样的”?不会?
Wait. Can we talk about something else? Like, literally, anything else?
我们能不说这事么?讲点别的不行吗?
- Yeah.  - Of course. Yeah.
当然可以
- Great Scott.  - OK.
- 好 — 样 — 的 - 好吧
- That's it. I'm going for it.  - Going for what?
- 既然这样,我要行动了 - 干嘛去?
I'm gonna call every girl in my phone
给我手机里的每个妞打电话
until someone agrees to have sex with me.
直到有人愿意和我嘿咻
- That's strong. Toast to that.  - Toast.
- 爷们,敬你一杯 - 干
That is a terrible, self-destructive plan,
这可真是个悲催的自我毁灭计划
and we're behind you a hundred percent.
可我们百分百支持你
Well, hello to you!
好啊,美女
Yeah, I can come to Ohio.
当然,我能去俄亥俄
Ohio? No, you can't.
俄亥俄?你去不了的
I'll take a cab.
我可以叫俩车
No, it's fine. I'll come to you.
没关系,我来找你
What hospital?
哪个医院?
I just really need to be with someone right now.
我现在就是想找个女人
Hey, I was wondering...
我想问问…
do you have someplace I could put my boner?
你那有地儿放我的小弟弟吗?
No, it's just... we could just snuggle or something.
就…我们可以就抱抱的
What? Well, how old are you?
啥?你多大了?
- Oh...  - OK.

I got it! I got it.
搞定了一个!
I got it. I got it.
到手了!
I got it!

You don't remember my name, do you?
你不记得我的名字了吧?
It's OK.
没事的
It's Shira, and you look like you could use some coffee.
我叫希拉,看你那样,得喝杯咖啡
Yes. Coffee's good.
对,喝咖啡是个好主意
I got...
我的…
Where are my pants?
我的裤子呢?
I don't know. They could be anywhere. Here's your coffee.
不知道啊,什么地方都可能,给你咖啡
Thank you.
谢谢
Did you have a good time last night?
昨晚开心么?
It was all right. Nothing special.
还行吧,没什么特别
Listen, I want you to know that...
听着,我想让你知道…
I respect you.
…我尊重你
Thank you.
谢谢
Normally, I would remember the name of someone that I've...
我一般都会记得和我上床的女人的名字
What? Oh, my God.
什么?天啊
Did you think we had sex? Oh, my God, we did not have sex.
你以为我们睡过了?天啊,当然没有
Hey, Adam. You left your socks in my room.
亚当,你把袜子落在我房里了
- Did I?  - You did.
- 是吗? - 是的
Did I, by chance, leave my pants in your room?
那我是不是碰巧把裤子也丢你房里了?
No. When we met, you weren't wearing pants.
没有,我碰到你的时候,你就没穿裤子
Stop teasing him, you guys.
别调戏他了,伙计们
- Patrice. Hey, I know you.  - Hey.
帕翠斯,我认识你的
- Yeah.  - OK.

What happened last night?
昨晚到底什么情况?
- Did we do it?  - We had sex.
- 我们那个了吗? - 我们做爱了
Yeah. I really liked it.
我很享受啊
I didn't know that my body could handle that much pain.
没想到我的身体能承受那么大的疼痛
And that I would like it.
而且还很享受
You're up.
你醒啦
Emma.
艾玛
- You live here?  - Yep.
- 你住这? - 是滴
You feeling any better?
感觉好点没?
Did I have sex with anyone in this apartment last night?
我昨晚有跟这间房里的人睡过吗?
No, you didn't.
没有啦
- No. Sorry.  - You didn't.
- 没的,抱歉啦 - 你没有
Thank you. Yeah, that's... that's funny.
多谢,你们还真会开玩笑
Let's make fun of the hung-over naked guy.
你们就取笑我这个宿醉的裸男吧
But I do have your pants, so if you want them, come with me.
不过你的裤子还真在我那儿, 想要的话,就跟我来
Yes. Thank you.
要的,谢了
You don't have to feel embarrassed, because we're all doctors,
你不要害羞嘛,我们都是医生
so we see literally hundreds of penises a week.
每周都能看到数百根阴茎
I see thousands.
我能见到几千根
I just pulled a penis out of a VitaminWater yesterday.
我昨天刚帮人把他的阴茎, 从“维他命水”的瓶子里拔出来
- So, we are cool with penises here.  - OK.
- 所以我们见怪不怪了 - 好吧
We're professionals.
我们是专业人士
Well...
好吧…
It has been a pleasure.
很高兴认识你们
Bravo.
正点啊
- Nice.  - Bravo, bravo.
- 不错 - 很正
Yep, I'm definitely gay.
我确定,我绝对是同性恋
So, how did I get here?
那我怎么到这的?
You texted me that it was an emergency,
你发短信跟我说有急事
and then I texted you my address, and then you came over.
然后我就发你地址,你就来了
And I think you thought you were at home,
你大概以为你到家了
because you started taking off all your clothes.
所以就开始脱衣服
Oh, God.
哦,悲剧了
- Here are your pants.  - Thank you.
- 你的裤子 - 谢谢
So...
那…
- Did I just pass out on your couch?  - No.
- 我是不是直接昏睡在你的沙发上? - 不是的
No, then you did this thing. It was...
然后你还…
like a dance?
…好像在跳舞?
- Dance?  - Yeah, like...
- 跳舞? - 对啊,就这样…
- I shook my dick at you?  - Yeah.
- 我对你甩老二? - 是啊
Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
天啊,真抱歉
No, no, it was... it was exciting.
不不不…那场面还挺让人激动的
It was like you were cheering while you were doing it.
好像是在欢呼
You were like, "Look at my dick!"
然后喊着,“快来看我的小弟弟啊!”
- Did you look at it?  - Yeah, I looked.
- 你看了没? - 看了
It was nice. You have a really nice penis.
不错啊,你的小弟弟还挺不错的
- Nice?  - It seems kind of like carefree.
- 不错? - 看起来很无忧无虑的
- Yeah?  - Yeah.
- 这样啊? - 是啊
Jesus. I don't know where to start. My dad's...
都不知道怎么跟你解释,我爸…
My dad's dating my ex-girlfriend.
我爸跟我前女友勾搭起来了
You told me about it last night.
你昨天晚上说过了
Did I tell you like in a charming way?
那我是不是很有风度的告诉你的?
Was I like charming and funny when I told you?
又风度又风趣的说的?
Yeah. You were...
是啊,你当时…
naked and crying.
光着身子,还在哭
Yeah.
好吧
I'm a mess.
我简直是人间惨剧
Hey.

It's gonna be OK.
会没事的啦
Thanks.
谢谢
Seriously.
真的
Thank you.
谢谢
I should probably get ready now. I don't want to be late.
我该准备准备了,不能迟到
Yeah, it's... You don't want to be late.
你不能迟到的
No, that would be bad.
那样太不好了
Condom?
安全套?
- Condom. Get a condom.  - I know. Condoms.
- 得戴个套 - 对,安全套
- OK.  - Condoms.
套套
Got it.
有了
- Got it.  - Hurry.
- 好的 - 快点
You need help?
要帮忙么?
- I got it.  - OK.
- 我能行 - 好的
Here we go.
来了
Oh, you got your...
把你的…
- Yep.  - Let me just...
让我来…
- Hey.  - Yeah.

- We're having sex.  - I know.
- 我们在做爱 - 我知道
Emma, we have to be in the hospital in ten minutes.
艾玛,我们十分钟后得到医院
OK.
好的
You have 45 seconds to pull your shit together, OK?
你只有45秒钟完事
- I'm way ahead of you.  - Fine.
- 我很迅速的 - 很好
Fine.

- Found it!  - Oh, great.
- 找到了 - 太好了
Thank you.
多谢
So, we're not gonna tell anyone about this, OK?
这事谁也不要说,好吗?
- Yeah. Of course.  - It's just easier that way.
- 当然 - 省的麻烦
- Definitely.  - Good.
- 当然 - 好的
Emma, time to go!
艾玛,走了!
Coming!
来了!
- All right?  - Is this?
- 走了? - 这样穿?
- No.  - It looks like something happened.
- 不行 - 这样看着就觉得有事发生了
I'm gonna get the bill. I'll pay for it.
我去结账
Thank you.
谢啦
- Hey.  - Hey.

Hi.

I just wanted to follow up that text with a phone call.
看到你消息了,所以回个电话
Wanted to see if you wanted to hang out again.
想看看你有没时间再出来见见
I'm starving.
我饿死了
That's weird. You just pulled up
太离奇了
in front of the restaurant that I'm eating at.
你正好在我吃饭的餐馆门口下车
Hey.

Hi.

- Hey. I'm Sam.  - We work together at the hospital.
- 我是山姆 - 医院同事
We have like 15 minutes to get food, so...
我们只有15分钟买饭…
She's just using me for my car.
她只是借我的车用用
- You're a doctor?  - Not yet. Fingers crossed.
- 你是医生? - 还不是,但愿吧
Awesome. That's awesome for you.
那挺好的
- Hey, Eli.  - Hey.
伊莱
Well, we're kind of in a rush, so it was good seeing you.
我们有点赶时间,很高兴见到你
- Nice to meet you.  - Nice meeting you.
- 很高兴认识你 - 很高兴认识你
You look beautiful today.
你今天很美
Nice meeting you.
很高兴见到你
You piece of shit.
你个贱人
- What?  - "What?" Let me ask you.
- 干嘛? - “干嘛?”我来问你
Did you have sex with Emma?
你是不是和艾玛上床了?
No.

Did you have sex with Emma?
你和艾玛上床了吗?
Yes.
是的
- I'm not supposed to tell anyone.  - Yes! Wow!
- 我什么都不该说的 - 好样的
I called her, but she didn't call me back. She sent me a text.
我打给她,她不接,就回了条短信
- All right. Well, what'd she text you?  - "Hi."
- 好吧,她回你什么了? - “你好”
- Just "Hi"?  - "Hi."
- 就“你好”? - 就“你好”
With nothing else? Just "H-i"?
没别的?就“你-好?”
I don't know. What do I do with that? I don't know.
我也不懂啊,我都不知道怎么办
That's not good.
这兆头不好
You just gotta walk away, pal. It's over.
你还是默默的走了吧,没戏了
- She's not into it.  - Shit. Seriously?
- 她没这兴趣 - 靠,真的么?
- Good seeing you guys.  - See you later.
- 再见了 - 拜拜
You really think she's just using him for his car?
你觉得她真的只是用个车?
No, Adam, I don't. I think he wants to fuck her in his Prius.
我可不这么认为,亚当, 普锐斯男就想跟她车震吧
And the thing about fucking in a Prius
在普锐斯里搞车震
is that you don't have to feel guilty afterwards.
完全没有后顾之忧
- 'Cause of the carbon footprint.  - Yeah.
- 因为碳排放量? - 是啊
- Metzner talked to me the other day. - Shut up. What did he say?
- 那天梅茨纳跟我说话了 - 不是吧,他说什么了?
He was like, "No, you're doing that wrong." It was amazing.
他就说,“你这样不对”,真让人开心
Emma.
艾玛
What are you doing here?
你来这干嘛?
Hi. You didn't call me back, so I thought I'd come here.
你没回我电话,所以我来找你
It's for you.
送给你的
"Congrats"? For what? Having sex with you?
“祝贺”?祝贺什么?和你上床?
Yeah. You did a good job, so... I thought you deserved a balloon.
对啊,你很棒,当之无愧啊
- I'm working.  - OK.
- 我在工作 - 好吧
So, what's up with not calling me back?
那你干嘛不给我回电话?
- I'm not good at this stuff.  - At what, talking?
- 我不太会处理这种事 - 什么事,聊天?
Yeah, talking. Communicating. Relationship stuff.
是啊,聊天啊,交心啊,恋爱啊
It's just... This is...
因为…
If we were in a relationship,
如果我们确定关系了…
I'd become a weird, scary version of myself, and...
我就会变得又怪异又可怕,还有…
my throat starts constricting, the walls start throbbing.
我的喉咙会开始发紧,气管开始颤动
It's like a peanut allergy, like... an emotional peanut allergy.
就好像花生过敏…或者说是感情过敏
Well, I can't date you, either. 'Cause you're not my dad's type, so...
我也不能和你交往, 因为我爸不喜欢你这类型的…
Emma, rounds. Hey, Adam.
艾玛,查病房了,好啊,亚当
- What's up?  - Look, I should probably go.
- 好啊 - 我该走了
Thank you. We'll be friends, right?
谢谢,我们可以做朋友,对吧?
Yeah, friends.
对啊,朋友
With the height difference?
身高差距很大啊?
We stand next to each other, it looks like he's kidnapping me.
我们站在一起的时候, 就好像他绑架了我一样
- What?  - You always do this.
- 怎么? - 你老是这样
You always find something wrong with everybody who likes you.
你总是挑那些喜欢你的人毛病
And I date guys who have real problems.
而我交往的男人才真的有问题
I date guys who steal my credit card,
有的偷了我信用卡
and then they told me it's my fault because I left it out.
到头来还怪我随处乱放
You find these perfect guys,
你碰到的都是好男人
and then you're like, "It'll never work, he's too happy."
可你却说,“他太乐观了,我们不适合”
What's up, Dr. Metzner?
好啊,梅茨纳医生
Did I just say "What's up" to Stephen Metzner?
我刚刚是不是和梅茨纳医生打招呼了?
That was really hard to watch.
实在有点看不下去
Look, I know I'm supposed to want to be in a relationship.
我知道我应该接受一段新感情了
But I'd just end up with a broken heart and a bunch of his old T-shirts.
但最后受伤的总是我, 还留着一大堆他的旧T恤
- Just from a purely logical aspect...  - What are you doing?
- 仅从理性的角度看… - 你在干嘛?
- I'm texting him.  - Of course you are.
- 给他发消息 - 那必须的
You know, you shouldn't have gotten her a balloon actually.
你真不该送她气球的
Who do you think you are, the old guy from Up?
你以为你是《飞屋环游记》里的老头?
You told me to get her a balloon.
你叫我送的
Well, I didn't think you'd actually do it. It's a terrible idea.
好吧,我没想到你会真送,太蠢了
Listen. Hey, nobody knows about this,
好吧,没人知道这事,
- so don't say anything to anyone. OK?  - All right, I won't.
- 所以你也不要乱讲,好吗? - 我不会说的
- It's from Emma.  - What's it say?
- 艾玛发来的 - 说什么?
- "Where are you?"  - What are you writing?
- “你在哪?” - 你回什么?
"Hi, how are you doing?" And then a winky face.
“你怎么样?”外加一个眨眼的表情
No, Adam, it's after 10 p.m.
别啊,亚当,现在都十点多了
Come on, the "Where are you?" text is like saying:
你不懂么,“你在哪”的言外之意就是:
"Hey, I want to have sex with you,
“我想和你做爱
but I just need to know how drunk you are."
但我不知道你有这个意思没?”
Hey.

Did you fuck Emma and then bring her a balloon?
你是不是干了艾玛以后,还送了个气球?
What? Did you tell him?
什么?你告诉他的?
No! Yes!
不是!是的!
- You can't tell anyone. - She just texted him, "Where are you?"
- 你怎么见人就说 - 她刚发消息来,“你在哪?”
Oh, she wants the dick.
喔!她想要你了
Adam, you want to come back strong here. Go from a position of power.
亚当,你得强势点,爷们儿点
Something like, "Where am I? Why don't you check your underpants."
不如回个,“哥在哪?看看你的内裤”
- Yeah. Don't write that.  - Yeah!
千万别这样回
- I would never write that. - See, I like to be kind of scary.
- 我才不会这么回 - 我个人比较喜欢吓人点的
Like, "Boo! Here comes my dick."
比如,“看!我的小弟弟来了”
Did you have sex with some girl and give her a balloon?
你是不是和一个妞上床了,还送了个气球?
Can we not tell everyone?
你能不能不要到处说?
I apologize.
我错了
So, what'd you write back?
那你回什么?
"Hi."
“嗨”
- Yeah, that could work. - Yeah, it's not bad. "Hi" is fine.
- 好吧,可能有用 - 不算太烂,就回“嗨”
There were so many interesting things going on.
刚刚真是激情四射啊
- Yeah.  - That flippy thing, what was that?
- 是啊 - 那个空翻,怎么弄的?
Sure, I just, I don't know, I had an idea, I just went with it.
我也不知道,想到就做了呗
- That was a really good call.  - Thank you.
- 绝对是亮点 - 谢谢
We probably shouldn't snuggle.
我们还是不要抱抱吧
Yeah. That just felt wrong.
是啊,感觉不太对
I should head out.
我该走了
- Already?  - Yeah.
- 就走? - 是啊
You want to grab a muffin or something?
要吃点东西吗,松饼什么的?
I can't. I have to go to work.
不行,要上班了
OK. You know, I don't want to freak you out, but...
好吧,我有些话,说了你不要有压力,
I'd love to hang out with you in the daytime sometime.
我想白天的时候,有机会一起出来玩玩
It's not really possible. I have no time.
这估计不行,我没时间
I work 80 hours a week, doing 36-hour shifts.
我每周工作80小时,36小时的轮班制
What I need is someone who's gonna be in my bed at 2 a.m.,
我只需要凌晨两点能在床上等我的男人
who I don't have to lie to or eat breakfast with.
这样我就不用说谎,也不用一起吃早饭
I hate breakfast. And lying.
我讨厌早餐和说谎
I also hate war.
我也讨厌战争
Do you want to do this?
要不这样吧?
Do what?
怎样?
Use each other for sex, at all hours of the day and night.
只有性关系,全天候待命
Nothing else.
不牵涉别的
- Yeah, I could do that.  - Good.
- 那不错啊 - 很好
It's gonna be fun.
会很有意思的
- You know this is never gonna work.  - Why not?
- 你知道这样不行的吧? - 怎么会?
Because clearly you're gonna fall in love with me.
因为很明显你会爱上我的
Oh, really? Well, then we just do this
是嘛?那我们就先这样
until one of us feels something more, and then we stop.
要是谁有感觉了,就停止
- Well, it won't be me.  - It won't be me.
- 反正不会是我 - 也不会是我
Good luck with that.
那就这样说了
- Hey.  - Hey.

We're sex friends.
我们是炮友
Just friends who have sex.
只上上床
That's not possible.
不可能
I'm going to distribute these for an hour or so.
我去发掉这些,大概一个小时
Listen, we should keep this simple.
我说,得让我们的关系纯粹些
I mean, maybe we should establish some ground rules.
约法三章怎么样
Ground rules. Good idea.
约法三章,好主意
OK, well, we can start with no fighting.
第一条,不吵架
- No lying.  - Those are good ones.
- 不说谎 - 这两条不错
No jealousy, no staring deeply into each other's eyes.
不吃醋,不深情地望着对方
Don't list me as your emergency contact. I won't come.
不要把我列入紧急联络人,我不会出现的
Isn't that against your Hippocratic oath?
这不违反医生道德守则的誓言吗?
- Yeah.  - Yeah?
- 是违反啊 - 违反了?
- I'd let you die.  - Oh, yeah?
- 你死了就算了 - 好,是吗?
I'll be back in like... an hour.
我大概…一小时后回来
Have fun.
玩的开心点
I'm just getting some yogurt.
我就去买点酸奶
God, I am single as fuck.
就我是他妈的孤家寡人一个
Oh, my God.
天啊
It looks like it's coming right at me.
看起来它好像是向我奔跑而来
Hey, one more thing.
还有一件事
Don't call my penis cute.
不要叫我的老二小可爱
Even if it's dressed up like a Care Bear,
尽管它打扮的像爱心小熊
and it's giving you a Care Stare.
还对你虎视眈眈的
Don't dress up your penis. Ever.
不要打扮你的小弟弟,绝对不要
Does your insurance cover invasive procedures?
这种侵入式手术在你的医保范围之内吗?
OK. OK, this is getting a little too realistic.
好了,好了,这有点太逼真了
Trust me.
相信我
I can't focus on my porn with all this real sex going on around me!
你们在这里现场真人秀,我还怎么看毛片啊!
Yes, I'm ready.
准备好了
What are you doing?!
你想干嘛?!
I just friended you. Do you think you're gonna confirm or ignore?
我刚加了你好友,你要同意还是忽略?
Oh, I'm gonna confirm. For sure.
我肯定会同意啦
Yeah, look at you. Of course.
你这么正,当然要加
Anytime. Need some help?
随叫随到,要帮忙吗?
Oh, beautiful! Beautiful!
很好,很好!
The tomatoes are Australian.
澳大利亚产的西红柿
- What was that?  - What?
- 刚才演的是哪出? - 什么?
- Are you being jealous?  - Of that guy? Come on.
- 吃醋了? - 因为他?怎么可能
Look, even if I did like him, it doesn't change what we're doing.
就算我喜欢他,也不会影响我们的
- Ah, so you like him.  - Adam, I'm not yours.
- 那你喜欢他? - 亚当,我又不是你的专属
No, of course not. Why would I think that?
当然不是,我才不这么觉得
Wow. Prius. Nice.
普锐斯,好车啊
- It's kind of girly, but nice, huh?  - What do you drive?
- 娘是娘了点,但还是部好车 - 你的车是什么?
Just an old BMW. Five series. Right there.
一辆旧宝马而已,5系的,就在那边
Oh, yeah, sure. I actually paid for mine.
是啊,我可是自己买的
I didn't take it from my parents.
不会向我父母要钱
Yeah, I paid for mine, too.
我也是自己买的
Oh, yeah?
是么?
You're a big guy. Do you work out?
你挺结实的,有在健身?
Oh. I row.
我玩划艇的
Like boats?
划小船?
- I rowed crew at Harvard.  - Oh, Harvard.
- 我以前是哈佛赛艇队的 - 哈佛大学的啊
What were you, a cocksman? What do they say?
那你主要干嘛?当淫棍(cocksman)? 那词怎么说来着?
- What do they call it?  - Coxswain.
- 怎么称呼的? - 舵手(Coxswain,谐音)
No. You know, I get it, right? That you're sleeping with Emma?
其实我都懂的,你和艾玛是炮友吧?
I what?
什么?
That you and Emma have sex sometimes. I get it.
你和艾玛有时候切磋下,我懂的
She's tired, she calls you up, you drive over,
她累了,就打给你,然后你开车过来
and have sex for, I'm guessing, ten minutes.
然后爽下,我看大概就十分钟吧
Think that's gonna last?
你觉得这会长久吗?
I don't know what you're talking about.
你讲的是英文吗?
Sure you do. And that's fine, for now.
你心里明白的很,你们现在是不错啦
But you should just know that I'm gonna be there right next to her every day,
但你应该知道,每天陪在她身边的是我,
using big words...
豪言壮语…
saving people's lives.
…救死扶伤
Then, when she's done having her fun with you, she's gonna
等她玩腻了,她就会…
come running to me, because I'm a grownup, and I have a real job.
回到我身边,因为我是个男人,有正经工作
I can actually take care of her, you know?
我才能照顾好她,你懂么?
I'm the guy she marries, Adam.
她要嫁的是我这样的人,亚当
You're the guy she fucked a couple of times in the handicapped bathroom.
你只是她在偶尔需要时玩玩的对象
- What's this?  - These are my feet, Adam.
- 这是什么? - 这是我的脚,亚当
- They're fantastic.  - No, this.
- 长得太神奇了 - 我是说这个
That's your script.
那是你的剧本
Your dad told me to give it to you.
你爸让我给你的
Yeah, he read it, and he gave you notes, and...
他读了,写了批注
I'm not saying Alvin and I did mushrooms together,
我不会告诉你我和阿尔文一起吃了毒蘑菇
but I'm not prepared to say that we didn't.
但我也没准备否认
I know that you have issues with your dad, and that's cool,
我知道你跟你爸闹矛盾了,这也没什么
but he really likes you and he definitely likes me,
但他真的很爱你,当然也很爱我啦
and we were just jamming ideas and goofing around
我们真的是惺惺相惜,相见恨晚
and tripping our balls off.
狼狈为奸啊
Hey. So... I really feel like it needs to be more ghetto.
我觉得应该加入更多下层社会元素
You know, like, more crunk? Can you work it out? Thanks.
街舞什么的,你能搞定吗?谢了
- Hey. Nice moves.  - Hey.
做的不错
I know you were trying really hard out there, but it just didn't work.
我知道你一直很努力,但是结果都不怎样
Hey, would you ever? I...
你有没有…?
I wrote an episode.
我写了一集剧本
- I used to write in college, so...  - OK.
- 我以前上大学的时候经常写,所以… - 好的
I'm gonna have to stop you right there.
我不得不打断你
- Not your job.  - Yeah.
- 这不在你工作范围内 - 对
Hey. I'm, like, actually one of those freaks who reads things,
我其实是一个喜欢阅读的怪咖
so if you wanted to give it to me, that's cool.
如果你不介意的话,给我看看吧
- Really?  - Yeah.
- 真的? - 真的
- Thank you.  - Sure.
- 多谢 - 客气
Megan listens to me. Sometimes.
梅根有时候会听我的
Victoria! Seriously? Like, I can see you smoking right there.
维多利亚,有没搞错?我看到你在这里抽烟了
Put it out! I'm not gonna chase you.
灭了它,我可不想追着你跑
I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna... Victoria! Hey!
我可不想…维多利亚!
Emma!
艾玛!
Katie, is everything OK? I got your message.
凯蒂,事情都顺利吗?我收到你消息了
Emma, I have really good news.
艾玛,我有个大好消息
OK, it happened yesterday after the picnic,
是昨天野餐之后发生的事情
but I wanted to tell you in person.
但我想亲自告诉你
Oh, my God.
天啊
I'm getting married.
我要结婚了
I'm getting married!
我要结婚了!
- You're getting married.  - I'm getting married!
- 你要结婚了! - 我要结婚了!
Mom is so excited.
老妈乐坏了
She was like screaming and crying last night.
她昨天又哭又叫了一晚上
And she's gonna fly down with Bones and help me shop for the dress.
她会和彭斯一起飞过来,帮我挑婚纱
With who? "Bones"? Who's Bones?
和谁?“彭斯”?是哪个?
- Oh, crap.  - Katie, who's Bones?
- 糟糕 - 凯蒂,彭斯是谁?
He's mom's friend.
妈妈的朋友
I wasn't supposed to tell you about it. Crap.
我不该告诉你的,糟糕了
She has a boyfriend? Named Bones?
她有男人了?还叫彭斯?
- What is he, a drifter?  - No.
- 他干嘛的?犀利哥? - 不是
Why didn't she tell me?
她干嘛不告诉我?
Well, Emma...
艾玛…
You're so good at being alone. Mom and I aren't like that.
你耐得住寂寞,妈妈和我不行
- What's that supposed to mean?  - It just is true.
- 你什么意思? - 这是事实
Look, Katie.
听着,凯蒂
You're 22. Do you really think you're ready to quit school?
你才22岁,你真的想要辍学吗?
I love him.
我爱他
Tea for your 'gina.
月月舒来了
Thanks. My sister's getting married.
谢了,我妹妹要结婚了
- Yes, we know that.  - We heard.
- 我们知道 - 听到了
Oh, shut up, Emma.
闭嘴吧,艾玛
Did you take your Pamprin?
你吃了止痛药吗?
- Leave me alone.  - You leave me alone.
- 别管我 - 你别烦我才是
I love it when we're all on the same cycle.
我太喜欢大家一起来大姨妈了
We all get to be passive-aggressive and fight.
我们都被迫要战斗
You are not even a woman.
你又不是女人
Who is that?
谁啊?
Hello?
报上名来
Hey, it's Adam.
我是亚当
Are you kidding me?
不是吧?
Go away.
走远点
I've got cupcakes.
我带了纸杯蛋糕
Hello, everyone.
大家好啊
I told you not to come. It's not safe in here.
都叫你别来了,这里不安全
Do you think that you have red velvet in there?
里面有红天鹅绒蛋糕吗?
I might.
应该有吧
Let's take a look and see what we have here.
来看下有些什么口味的
Shira, chocolate. Now.
希拉,给我巧克力味的,快
I understand what's going on. You're all on the same cycle.
我知道你们怎么了,都来例假了
This is very exciting.
真是给力啊
Your uterine walls will be shedding for the next three to five days.
你们的子宫内膜会在接下来的3-5天持续脱落
Nice memorization. Did you Google that?
记性真好,你问度娘的吧?
I may have.
貌似吧
Because you're women. And I think that's a beautiful thing.
因为你们都是女人, 月经是件很美妙的事
It's like a crime scene in my pants.
我裤子里就像是犯罪现场
Oh. I also...
我还…
made you this.
…给你做了这个
To help soothe your womb.
帮助你舒缓子宫
It's a mix.
一张合辑
"Even Flow," "Red Red Wine."
“均流”,“红红的酒”
"Sunday Bloody Sunday"?
“血色星期天”?
Adam.
亚当
Did you make me a period mix?
你帮我灌了张例假合辑?
That's so romantic.
太浪漫了
Frank Sinatra.
弗兰克.西纳特拉
"I've Got The World On A String."
“我已掌控世界”
It's a classic.
经典名曲
# Keep, keep bleedin' love #
流吧,流吧,流血的爱
# I keep bleedin' #
一直流吧
Get that shit away from me.
东西拿开
Come on, it's soup. It's good for your uterus.
来嘛,喝口汤,对你的子宫好哦
Just take it, or I'm gonna keep singing.
喝了它,要不然我就一直唱
# Keep bleedin', I keep, keep bleedin' love #
流吧,流吧,流血的爱
Oh, shit.
真是
Oh, Adam.
亚当
Adam.
亚当
What?
怎么了?
We fell asleep. We were spooning.
我们睡着了,你还搂着我
- We were?  - Yeah.
- 是吗? - 是啊
And we were spooning with our clothes on,
而且还穿着衣服
which is like ten times worse.
十倍的不舒服啊
- Oh, shit.  - Yeah.
- 见鬼了 - 是啊
- Fully clothed spoon.  - This is bad.
- 衣服没脱就搂一起了 - 这可不好
This is my fault. I should not have made you soup.
都怪我,不该给你做汤的
- What are we gonna do?  - About what?
- 我们该怎么办? - 什么怎么办?
Maybe we should... Maybe we should stop for a while.
也许我们应该…停一段时间
No, we're not stopping.
不要,停下可不好
Yeah, well, I don't know.
我也不清楚
Go hook up with someone else.
去勾搭其他女人吧
- Are you serious?  - Yeah, go...
- 你是认真的吗? - 是啊
go to the nearest bar and have sex with a stranger.
去最近的酒吧,找个陌生人做爱
- You're kidding?  - No.
- 你开玩笑的吧? - 没有
- This is crazy.  - You made me a period mix.
- 你不正常了 - 你给我灌了张例假合辑
Adam, this is an emergency.
亚当,这是紧急情况
- So you just want me to go?  - Yeah.
- 那你是要我走人? - 对啊
- Just have sex with a random woman?  - Yeah, go.
- 随便找个女人上? - 是啊,去吧
Like a sexual woman?
找个性饥渴的女人?
Yes!
没错!
I'll go have sex with someone, too.
我也去找个人做爱
OK.
好吧
- No, this is gonna be good for us.  - Yeah. It's great.
- 这对我们都有好处 - 对,很好
Great. Well done. Well played.
很好,做的好,算你狠
Bye.
拜了
I haven't seen her in two weeks, so...
我两礼拜没见她了…
She said I should hook up with other people.
她说我该去勾搭别的女人
I mean, what am I supposed to do with that?
那我能怎样?
- Look at my face.  - No, I get it. I just...
- 看我的表情 - 我懂,我只是…
Look at my face. What does my face say?
看我的表情,懂我意思么?
Yeah, Adam, come on, you're living every man's dreams.
亚当,这可是每个男人求之不得的
I mean, she wants you to hook up with other girls.
她都让你去勾搭了
- Yes.  - Look, in ten years from now,
- 是啊 - 十年以后,
you're gonna be having sex with your wife.
你就只能跟你老婆做爱了
And it's gonna be in the missionary position.
而且还是男上女下的体位
- And one of you is going to be asleep.  - Yep.
- 其中一个还昏昏欲睡 - 就是
And you're gonna think back to this moment,
然后你就会回想起这一刻
and you're gonna call me up, crying.
哭着给我打电话
And I'm gonna laugh in your face, Adam. I'm sorry, but it's what I'm gonna do.
我肯定会嘲笑你的,很抱歉, 但我真会这么做
This is a gift right now.
现在可是天赐良机啊
You don't even have to have breakfast with her.
你都不用和她一起吃早饭
I know. I get that. I just...
我懂你意思,我只是…
Look at my face.
看哥的表情
You bringing Adam to the Christmas party tonight?
你今晚会带亚当来圣诞派对吗?
No. Things were getting too intense, so we decided not to see each other
不带,事情有些失控了,所以我们决定不见面了
until we hook up with other people.
直到我们都勾搭上其他人
OK. Yes. Good. We are getting laid tonight, right?
很好,那我们今晚去钓男人吧?
This is gonna be like Sideways, except that you're Paul Giamatti,
就像《杯酒人生》里演的一样, 只不过你是保罗•吉亚玛提
- and I'm the guy that gets laid.  - I can't get laid?
- 而我是享艳福的那个 - 我不行吗?
No. Tonight is about me, Emma. All right? I'm feeling hot.
今晚我是主角,艾玛,我性致很高
I'm feeling good. I am wearing bikini bottoms
我感觉很好,我要穿比基尼泳裤
because my other underwear is dirty.
因为我另一条内裤脏了
All right, we're hot. You feel hot?
我们很性感,你觉得吗?
No one threw up on me today.
今天还没人吐我身上
We're sluts, Emma! We're dirty, dirty, sluts!
我们很淫荡,艾玛,超级下流的荡妇
- OK.  - Remember, we're sluts!
- 好吧 - 记住,我们很淫荡
Good evening, sir.
晚上好,先生
No, I got that! I got that, pal. That's gonna be me.
我来吧,我来吧,伙计
- Did you just open the car door for me?  - Yes, I did.
- 是你给我开的车门吗? - 是的
No one's ever done that for me before. Do it again.
没人为我干过这个,再来一次
All right.
好的
- How's that?  - It's amazing.
- 感觉如何? - 好极了
Can I have your arm?
能挽着我吗?
So, when I have to tell someone that someone they loved died,
当我得向家属通知,他们爱的人病逝的消息
it's hard, you know? Sometimes I laugh.
很难开口,有时候我还笑场
Because it's kind of weird.
因为实在很怪
Very nice.
看好你哦
- Oh, don't even think about it.  - I'm gonna go talk to him.
- 你想都别想 - 我要去勾搭他
Emma, no.
艾玛,不要
I'm gonna do this.
我偏要
Emma, think about your career. Do not do this.
艾玛,想想你的事业,别这么做
- Dr. Metzner.  - Yes?
- 梅茨纳医生 - 什么事?
Hi. I'm Emma Kurtzman.
你好,我是艾玛•库兹曼
I've been ho, ho, hoping that I'd get the chance to talk to you.
我一直希望能有机会跟你聊天
- 谁要喝一杯吗? - 服务生!
How are you guys doing?
你们怎么样?
- Joy, come join us.  - Hey, Joy.
- 乔伊,快过来 - 乔伊
- What's up?  - I have to work.
- 好啊 - 我得去工作
- Come on, just sit down for a second.  - Sit down.
- 来嘛,就坐一会 - 坐下嘛
- OK.  - Come on. Here. You take that one.
- 好吧 - 来,给你,喝这个
- We're just hanging.  - Thank you.
- 我们只是聊聊 - 谢谢
Screw the customers.
别管客人了
She is so good at impressions.
她超会模仿的
- Do an impression, then.  - Yes, do an impression.
- 那就来一个吧 - 来一个
All right, guess who this is.
好的,猜猜这是谁
Dad!
爸爸!
- Dad!  - Oh, my God, that's so cute.
- 爸爸! - 天啊,好萌啊
- I don't know.  - Come on.
- 我不知道 - 快猜
- Where are you?  - I don't know.
- 你在哪呢? - 猜不到
- Where are you, Dad?  - It's Nemo.
- 你在哪啊,爸爸? - 是尼莫(《海底总动员》)
- Yes!  - Yeah.
- 答对了 - 没错
- Nemo.  - Amazing.
- 尼莫 - 很像啊
I don't know why I didn't get that. How did you know that?
我怎么没想到呢,你怎么猜到的?
'Cause I've seen it a thousand times. That's how.
因为我看过无数遍了
- Drew Barrymore.  - I don't know if I'm drunk enough.
- 学下德鲁•巴里摩尔 - 我貌似还不够醉
- Come on.  - You can't do Drew Barrymore.
- 来嘛 - 你学不来吧
Oh, but she can.
她会的
Happy holidays. I was in The Wedding Singer.
节日快乐,我当时在演《婚礼歌手》
That's it. That's all I have.
就这样,我就会这两句
That was kind of an amazing Drew Barrymore.
学的很像德鲁•巴里摩尔
You kind of even looked like her when you did it.
你这样还挺像她的
Oh, my God, Joy. I love you so much.
天啊,乔伊,我太爱你了
You do?
真的?
Yeah.
是啊
Lisa...
丽莎…
I love you.
…我爱你
- Wait.  - I'm seriously in love with you.
- 等等 - 我真的爱上你了
Wait. Why didn't you tell me sooner?
你怎么不早点告诉我?
- I didn't have the courage.  - Oh, my God. This is amazing.
- 我没有勇气 - 天啊,太美好了
- God, you look so beautiful.  - And your eyes are so pretty.
- 你太美丽了 - 你的眼睛也很美
- Have you got?  - Let's do this.
- 你有吗? - 来吧
Wallace, could you take a picture of this?
华莱士,能给我们拍个照吗?
Yeah, Wallace, I got a camera right here, if you just wanna...
是啊,华莱士,我正好有相机…
No problem at all. Just get a little closer, ladies.
完全没问题,靠近点,女士们
All right. Everybody smile.
好了,笑一个
Happy ho-lidays!
节日快乐!
Hey, hey!

Merry Christmas. Happy holidays.
圣诞快乐,节日快乐
Can I get you a dri?
能给你拿杯饮料么?
You want to get out of here?
走么?
Yes. Yeah.
好啊
I'll get my stuff.
我去拿下东西
Listen, don't fuck one of those girls.
听着,别和这种女人上床
They're not... they're not nice. They're not nice girls.
她们不是…她们不是什么好货色
What? Emma?
什么?艾玛?
Is that you?
是你吗?
Katie!
凯蒂!
Yeah, hi. What are you doing? Where are you?
你在干嘛?在哪呢?
I'm just studying for the doctor test.
我在准备医生考试
You're coming tomorrow, right?
你明天回来的,对吧?
Hold on.
等下
Hey, Adam.
亚当
I am following your instructions diligently.
我谨遵你的教诲
- Put that away!  - Who are you talking to?
- 手机拿开! - 你在跟谁讲话?
Are you there? You're not there, are you?
还在吗?不在了吧?
Taxi! Taxi!
出租车!
Take me to Adam's house.
带我去亚当家
- OK, ma'am, where's that?  - Where Adam lives.
- 好的,女士,地址呢? - 他住的地方
- All right...  - Just go. Go.
- 好吧… - 上路,开车
OK, I'm going.
我开了
Got a cocktail for the ladies.
给两位女士的鸡尾酒
That's my Christopher Walken.
我喜欢的克里斯托弗•沃肯的台词
Yeah. I'll just set these over here and...
我就把酒放这了
then we can all sort of involve ourselves in...
…然后我们就一起亲热亲热…
OK, let's...
好吧…
Well, you guys are doing a really good job.
你们很投入啊
I'll just be over here if you need me.
需要我的话,我就在这
Adam!
亚当!
Adam Franklin!
亚当•富兰克林!
Adam! Franklin!
亚当!富兰克林!
OK.
好吧
Just keep up the good work, ladies.
你们继续享受
What are... what are you...
您这是…?
Hey.

Are you?
你正在?
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
是啊
What's going on?
怎么了?
- This is Joy.  - I'm Joy. Hi.
- 这是乔伊 - 我是乔伊,你好
- Good for you.  - Adam?
- 不错嘛 - 亚当?
And this is Lisa.
这是丽莎
You are such an overachiever.
一箭双雕啊
Thank you.
谢谢
No, we don't need her. Make her leave.
我们用不着她,让她闪人
No. You leave.
不,你们走人
Are you trying to get rid of us?
你想赶我们走吗?
You look like a pumpkin, bitch!
你长的跟南瓜似的,贱人!
- This is amazing.  - Oh, you make...
- 好戏上演了! - 你…!
Hey!
OK. I got this.
我来吧
I got this. You just... calm down.
我来处理,你们…淡定
But we don't look anything like pumpkins.
我们长的可不像南瓜
I know. She probably forgot to take her meds.
我知道,她大概忘记吃药了
You know, for your own safety, you'd better get your stuff and go.
为了你们自身安全,还是卷铺盖走人吧
Thanks.
多谢
Watch out, though. She could be anywhere.
当心点,她神出鬼没的
She's quick. Like a puma.
她身手很快,像头美洲狮
You're so mean!
你太坏了!
Ring, ring! It's the pumpkin patch! They want their pumpkins back!
叮铃,叮铃铃!这里是南瓜地!南瓜们快回来吧
- We're not pumpkins!  - We're ladies!
- 我们才不是南瓜! - 我们是淑女
But you're so orange.
可你们颜色黄成这样
Hey, someone call Charlie Brown!
快找查理•布朗来!
We found the great pumpkin!
我们找到了大南瓜!
Ow! Don't! Don't!
不要!不要!
You're crazy.
你疯了
I felt like Flavor Flav.
我觉得我是弗雷尔•弗雷维(黑人歌手)
- I can't believe you chose those girls.  - Are you jealous?
- 没想到你挑人眼光这么好 - 你吃醋啊?
Don't do that. Don't just disappear like that on me.
别那样了,别在我面前消失
- You told me to.  - You shouldn't listen to me.
- 你让我走的 - 你干嘛那么听话
Fine, I won't.
好吧,我不听
- Did you smell my hair?  - No.
- 你闻我的发香了? - 没
- What did you want to talk to me about?  - Wait. Just hang out here.
- 你想跟我说什么? - 等下,就站那
Right here?
这里?
Oh, man.
天啊
Surprise!
惊喜吧!
Happy birthday!
生日快乐!
# As the days of the year roll by #
时光流逝
# There's one that brings a tear to a daddy's eye #
有一天,爸爸泪光闪闪
# 'Cause I'm so happy #
因为我太高兴
# To be your pappy #
能当你的老爸
# Today and I'll tell you why #
今天我会告诉你原因
# It's your birthday #
今天是你的生日
# Baby boy #
宝贝儿子
# - It's your birthday  - Birthday #
- 今天是你的生日 - 生日
# Birthday boy #
小寿星
# - Happy birthday, happy birthday  - Hap-py! #
- 生日快乐,生日快乐 - 生…日
# - Happy birthday, happy birthday  - Birth-day! #
- 生日快乐,生日快乐 - 快…乐!
# Happy birthday #
祝你
# To you #
生日快乐
Everybody!
一起唱
# Happy birthday #
祝你
# To you! #
生日快乐!
Blow it out! Blow it out! Oh, Adam, happy birthday.
吹蜡烛!吹蜡烛!亚当,生日快乐
- We're so proud of you.  - Make a wish.
- 我们为你自豪 - 许个愿吧
Guys, you get a five-minute warning.
伙计们,还有五分钟
- OK?  - No, he's ten-one.
- 好了? - 没,他十点过五分到
I already texted him.
我已经发消息给他了
- So, all is forgiven?  - No. Nothing is forgiven.
- 你原谅我了? - 没,没什么可原谅的
Adam, don't you think it's been weird for me, too?
亚当,你就不觉得对我来说也很怪吗?
Knowing that... my own son had sex with my girlfriend?
得知…我儿子睡过我的女友
But I got over it. You should, too.
我已经没事了,你也应该如此
Excuse me! Can I have your autograph, please?
打扰一下,能给我签个名吗?
- Mine, too, please.  - Certainly.
- 还有我 - 当然
Listen, let me take you to a nice birthday dinner tonight.
听我说,今晚我们去吃一顿生日大餐
You, me and Vanessa. We have something we want to talk to you about.
你,我还有维娜莎,我们有话要跟你说
- Something?  - Yeah.
- 有话要说? - 是的
- Like what?  - Just something important, OK?
- 比如说? - 反正很重要,好吗?
- Please don't do this.  - 8:30, STK.
- 别这样 - 8:30,STK餐馆
All right? Be there. Bring anyone you want, all right?
好吗?一定要去,带谁去都行
- Bye, everyone. Thank you.  - Oh, thank you so much for coming.
- 大家再见 - 多谢您的探班
It's been an honor.
非常荣幸
- Great Scott!  - Bravo! Bravo!
- 好样的! - 太棒了!
What the fuck?
搞毛啊!
- What happened?  - Oh, my.
- 发生什么了? - 天啊
Are you OK? Are you OK? What happened?
你怎么样?怎么回事?
- Give me that!  - That's my phone!
- 拿过来! - 那是我的手机!
Fuck you, Chuck! You're very talented, but fuck you!
法克你,虽然你是个淫才,但法克油!
Can we get a medic, please?
能帮忙找个医生来嘛?
Try to use it as little as possible.
尽量少用这只手
- No sports or working out for a while.  - Dr. Metzner?
- 暂时不要运动或工作 - 梅茨纳医生?
Adam, what's going on? What happened?
亚当,怎么回事?
He sprained his wrist punching a wall.
他打墙的时候扭伤手了
You texted me that you were dying.
你短信上说你快死了
It really hurt.
痛死了
I gave him some hydrocodone for the night. It's a very strong painkiller.
我给了他一些氢可酮,晚上吃,强效止痛药
You might want to have Dr. Kurtzman here drive you home.
你可以让库兹曼医生载你回家
And here is a prescription for an anti-inflammatory.
这是消炎药的处方
Don't worry. You're in good hands.
别担心,我们的医术可是一流的
Your girlfriend here is a very talented doctor.
你女朋友是个有技术的医生
No. No, I'm... I'm not his girlfriend.
不不不,我…我不是他女友
She is not my girlfriend.
她不是我女友
Oh, sorry. I saw that he listed you as an emergency contact.
不好意思,我看你是他的紧急联络人
My mistake. Feel better.
我搞错了,你好好养伤
Oh, by the way, I enjoyed your dad's TV show.
顺便说下,我很喜欢你老爸的节目
Great Scott. That's funny stuff.
“好样的”,有意思
I'll tell him you said that.
我会向他转达的
My dad invited me to dinner,
我爸叫我一起吃晚餐
and he's bringing Vanessa.
他会带维娜莎
- You have to come.  - No, I don't.
- 你一定要来 - 我才不来
I just worked 14 hours. I'm not gonna meet your parents.
我已经工作14个小时了,我也不要见你家长
You know what? Just help me.
就当帮个忙
These are really powerful painkillers. I can't feel anything.
这止痛药相当给力,我都没感觉了
Feel that?
有感觉了没?
Yeah. I felt that.
感觉到了
Happy birthday, Adam.
亚当,生日快乐
I'm so glad you guys could join us for dinner.
我真高兴你们能来
Cheers. I'll come right back to take your order.
慢用,我马上回来帮你们点餐
So, how you doing there, kiddo?
乖儿子,日子过得怎么样?
Perfect, Dad. Thank you for asking.
好的很,老爸,多谢关心
How long have you two been together?
你们俩在一起多久了?
Oh, we're not.
我们没在一起
- We're sex friends.  - Yeah. Yes, we are.
- 我们是炮友 - 是的,没错
Yeah, friends with benefits? Fuck buddies?
各取所需,纯肉体关系
Great Scott!
好样的!
I know this might be hard, but just because I'm your ex-girlfriend
我知道这可能有点难,但不要因为我是你前女友
doesn't mean that you can't look at me as a kind of... mum?
你就不能把我当做…后妈
- Oh, boy.  - Especially because, well,
- 天啊 - 特别是因为
Alvin and I have been talking about creating new life together.
我和阿尔文一直在考虑一起过新生活
You see, we were at Burning Man.
我们那时候在火人狂欢节上
- And we were dressed up.  - Yeah. I was dressed as a fire bird.
- 都盛装出席 - 是啊,我扮成火鸟
And what were you dressed as?
你是什么来着?
I was naked. And we were just out there in the desert,
我裸奔啊,我们在沙漠里
and he was burying my bare body in the sand.
他就用沙子埋住我的裸体
Yeah. Pecking at it with my... fire beak.
用我的…火鸟嘴啄她
And then I just thought,
然后我就想了
you know, what if all these grains of sand,
如果这些沙子
were actually babies?
都是真的小宝宝呢?
- And so we...  - We had this wonderful idea.
- 所以我们… - 我们就有了这个想法
And we... well, we'd like your blessing, Adam.
我们…希望得到你的祝福,亚当
How do you feel about the two of us having a baby together?
你觉得我们俩要个孩子怎么样?
Adam.
亚当
This isn't really my place. I mean, who am I?
我没什么资格来说,我算什么呢?
I just have sex with your son sometimes.
只是偶尔和你儿子欢爱一下
- But...  - Yes, she does.
- 但… - 没错
But... there is really no reason
但…真没什么必要
for you to bring a child into this world,
再把一个孩子带到这个世界上
since you're acting like children already.
你们现在就挺幼稚的
- That was really mean.  - Yeah.
- 你挺毒舌的啊 - 对啊
I'm mean. But you're fucking crazy.
我毒舌,但你们真TM的疯子
'Cause given the choice between Adam and his dad,
如果要我选,在亚当和他爸之中
given the choice between Adam and anyone, really,
亚当和任何人之中,说实话
I'd choose Adam, every time.
不管怎么样,我都会选亚当,
- Do you want to get out of here?  - Yep.
- 你想撤了吗? - 嗯
Fuck this.
爷不吃了
Oh, by the way...
再说一句…
it's the best sex of my life.
跟他一起,我最性福
Great Scott!
好样的!
I have to say, this is probably the best birthday dinner ever.
我不得不说,这个生日可能是最痛快的一次
I wanted to make it special.
我想让它特别一点
Yeah? Where's the cake?
是吗?蛋糕类?
That comes later, baby.
那个先等等,亲爱的
- Hey.  - What?
- 嘿 - 怎么?
Thank you for what you did back at the restaurant.
谢谢你在餐厅为我做的一切
Go on a date with me.
和我约会吧
You're heavily sedated.
你止痛药吃多了吧
Come on, it's... it's one date. Just do it.
来嘛…就约会这一次
Why? So I can wear makeup and act perfect all night?
为毛啊?就为了我能化个妆,做一回淑女?
Yeah.
对啊
I'll pick you up, and we can talk about our favorite books
我来接你,然后我们聊聊喜欢的书
and our favorite TV shows.
和喜欢的电视剧
I'll pay for everything, and you can reward me
全部我买单,你只要给我
with an over-the-jeans cock rub.
打次飞机以作报答就好
Like a real date.
来一次真正的约会
- Is that really what you want?  - This Friday.
- 你真想这样吗? - 这周五
This Friday is Valentine's Day.
这周五是情人节
- Yeah.  - No.
- 是滴 - 不行
Go big or go home. There'll be hearts,
那当然要挑个好日子,我会送你爱心的,
and maybe some flowers.
也许再送束花
One date.
就一次
Fine.

- What?  - I'll go on a date with you.
- 什么? - 我跟你约会
- I thought that's what you said.  - But no flowers, OK?
- 这可是你说的哦 - 但不要送花,好么?
You look amazing.
美呆了
Thank you.
谢谢
- You said no flowers.  - That's pretty cute.
- 你说不要送花的 - 这个挺有爱的
Yeah, I'm pretty good at this.
那是,我选的嘛
Thank you.
谢啦
I've had a really tough day, so, I just won't...
我今天累惨了,所以…
I promise. It's about to get better.
我保证,马上就会好起来
- I made you a Valentine's Day card.  - What?
- 我给你做了张情人节贺卡 - 什么?
It's perfect.
很美啊
Can you read it for me? Is that weird?
你能给我念念么,不会很怪吧?
"You give me premature ventricular contractions."
“你让我心脏早搏”
- I'm assuming that's a good thing?  - You make my heart skip a beat.
- 这是好话吧? - 你让我心跳漏了一拍
- Don't make fun of me.  - Wow.
不准笑我
- So, you ready for tonight?  - Yeah.
- 今晚准备好了么? - 恩
I'm glad to see you.
很高兴见到你
- Are you excited?  - Yeah.
- 激动吗? - 恩
- Louder!  - Yeah!
- 听不到! - 激动!
- Yeah!  - So excited!
相当激动!
- Here's our itinerary.  - You made me an itinerary?
- 这是我们今天的行程 - 你还安排了行程?
Yeah, we got a lot to do. We got to make up for lost time.
是啊,好多事要做呢,得把以前的补起来
Google Maps. Nice.
谷歌地图,不错
OK, full disclosure:
好吧,我坦白:
I have played before,
我以前玩过
and I might be kind of good.
还挺厉害的
- This is pretty.  - It is pretty.
- 这里很漂亮 - 的确
- But this... it's just gonna be fun.  - OK.
- 这个也会很有趣的 - 好吧
Ladies first.
女士优先
OK. Don't expect too much.
你别期望太高
Nice and easy.
慢慢来
- Yeah. I stuck it in.  - Wow.
我进了
Well, this hole's a little bit more complicated.
好吧,这个洞会有点难进
You're gonna have to bank it off there. It's all about the geometry.
你要在那里弹一下,利用几何原理
I'm a doctor.
我可是当医生的
That hole is my bitch!
那个洞跟我站一边的
Yes! Yes!
牛叉!
Yeah!

Thank you.
谢谢
I don't get my own milkshake?
为什么我没有奶昔?
No, it's one milkshake, two straws. That's what makes it special.
一份奶昔,两根吸管,这样才够特别
But I'm so hungry.
我都饿死了
We have dinner later. Didn't you read the itinerary?
等下还有晚餐,你不是看了行程表吗?
You're gonna get more shake, you have a bigger mouth.
你嘴比我大,吸得肯定比我多
You have a pretty big mouth. Oh, easy.
你也有张美丽的大嘴,慢点
Hey! That's cheating.
你作弊!
Sorry.
我错了
Thanks.
谢谢
I really like you.
我真挺喜欢你
I actually think that...
我真的觉得…
I'm falling...
…我爱上…
You can have the rest.
都是你的了
How do they change these lightbulbs?
这些灯泡要怎么换啊?
Must be a nightmare.
肯定累死了
- Adam?  - Oh, here. You want your coat?
- 亚当? - 给,外套穿上么?
- I can take that.  - You cold?
- 我自己来吧 - 你冷了?
I can't do this. Could you please take me back to work?
还是不行,你能送我回医院工作吗?
No. No, that's not the deal.
不行,我们可不是这样说的
The deal is that we're gonna walk around,
照计划,我们要一起散散步,
and we're gonna look at the twinkly lights, and then...
看闪烁的灯光,然后…
Why are you messing everything up?
你干嘛要搞这么烦?
That's what people do, Emma.
大家都这样的,艾玛
They buy each other flowers, and they go to museums...
送花,逛博物馆
You know me. This stuff freaks me out.
你知道的,这种东西快把我搞疯了
It's fake.
虚情假意
What's wrong with what we're doing? It's working. We don't have to fight...
我们那样有什么不好?只欢不爱,不会吵架…
- Maybe I want to fight.  - Yeah, well, I don't.
- 也许我想吵架 - 可我不想
What are you gonna do? You're never gonna feel anything?
你想怎样?永远不动真情?
How you gonna do that?
你怎么做的到?
I don't know. I'll figure it out.
不知道,我会有办法的
- You're so messed up.  - Yeah?
- 你严重心理阴影 - 是么?
I don't need you to take care of me. I take care of myself.
我不需要你照顾我,我自己能照顾好
That's what I do.
想来如此
Why don't you go find some other girl who's not gonna hurt you?
你怎么不去找个不会伤你心的女人?
Because I love you.
因为我爱你
It's obvious. I completely love you. There.
很明显,我就是爱上你了
Oh, yeah. You're such a wimp.
对,你就是个胆小鬼
- I am not a wimp.  - Well, then be with me!
- 我才不是 - 那就和我交往啊!
OK, you're gonna fight me. Yeah? Is that what you're gonna?
你想打我是嘛?你就打算这样?
You can't fight me, you're miniature. You're like a girl Rick Moranis.
你打不过我的,你这么小只 你就是女版的里克•莫然尼斯(加拿大喜剧演员)
You fight like a hamster.
打起架来就像仓鼠
Hey. Hey!

Excuse me! Excuse me! You can't do that here.
对不起,你们不能在这里打架!
OK. I'm sorry.
好的,我很抱歉
All right, you're out!
你们快出去
I can't keep doing this.
我不能一直这样
I'm not gonna see you again.
我不会再见你了
I know.
我知道
That makes sense.
应该的
Bye.

- Hey, you OK?  - Yeah. I'm fine, thanks.
- 你还好嘛? - 很好,谢谢
- You wanna go get a coffee?  - No, thanks.
- 要喝杯咖啡么? - 不用了,谢谢
You're a really good cook.
你厨艺真棒
Oh, this? I just threw it together.
这个?就全部倒锅里啊
Oh, shit.
我勒个去
Oh, hey, Adam!
亚当!
Adam. Hello!
亚当,好啊!
Lucy.
露西
Yeah, we were just having a romantic night
我们正享受烛光晚餐呢
when your friend stopped by from work.
你朋友下班了就过来了
Usually I spend Valentine's Day catching up on work and stuff,
情人节我一般都在赶工作进度
but this is like, this is really fun.
但这个,这个真有趣
How was your night?
你的浪漫之夜怎么样?
Yeah, it wasn't.
不怎么样
Do you want to go to my room?
你要去我房间么?
Yes, I do. Perfect.
要,太好了
Sorry, gotta go. So sorry.
抱歉,我得走了
Oh, you know what? I need a napkin. Can I just borrow this one?
对了,我要块餐巾,这个能借来用用么?
Sorry. Just... quick. Thank you. Beautiful.
抱歉,很快就好,多谢了
So, I'm really excited to talk to you.
我很想跟你聊聊
I hope it's OK that I got your address from the W-4.
我希望你不介意我从报税表上找到你的地址
- Is that weird? OK.  - No.
- 你不介意吧? - 不会
Oh, wow. This is cool. This is a cool space.
太潮了,你房间很潮啊
- Thanks.  - Cozy.
- 谢谢 - 很舒适的感觉
I didn't know that... I'm sorry about everything.
我没想到…很抱歉这里乱糟糟的
What? Oh, my God. You're sorry? Are you crazy?
什么?你道什么歉?你没必要
No, I'm sorry. I'm the one who's come to your house uninvited.
是我该不好意思,不请自来
So unprofessional. But I read your script.
太没礼貌了,但我看了你的剧本了
- And I love it. I really do.  - Really?
- 我超爱的,真的 - 真的?
Yeah, and honestly, like, I didn't think that you could write,
是啊,说实话,我不太看好你的
mainly 'cause you're just... so beautiful.
主要因为你长得…太帅了
- Seriously, it's distracting for me.  - Thank you. For reading it.
- 让我分心 - 谢谢你看了我的剧本
Yeah.
客气了
I mean, it's just teenagers singing about homework.
只不过是讲青少年歌唱家庭作业的
Yeah, yeah, but no, I read it and I was like,
是啊,不过,我读完之后就想
"God, I want to, like, drive over there and tell him in person."
“天啊,我一定要开车过来,亲自跟你说”
So I did. I got in my car, and here I am.
于是我就开车过来了
You know, it's just... I know, it sounds crazy,
你懂么?我知道这有点疯狂
'cause now that I'm saying it out loud, it does sound crazy.
因为说出来我就更感觉疯狂了
It's not crazy. I mean, thank you for reading it.
没有啦,谢谢你读了
No, no, no. I e-mailed it to Megan, and...
我把它发给梅根了…
- No shit?  - Yeah.
- 不是吧? - 是啊
- And we'll see what she says.  - Wow.
就等着看她怎么说吧
Yeah, I told her she'd be crazy to not like it.
我告诉她,你不喜欢的话,你就是疯了
But then again, she is a functioning psychotic, so it's like, who knows?
但话又说回来,她本来就神经兮兮的, 谁知道她什么反应?
But there is this extra episode right before the break.
但是停播之前还有一集
And they are gonna hire a freelancer, so...
他们打算找个自由撰稿人的…
I feel like I'm talking too much about this, but...
我貌似话太多了
- Hey, do you wanna?  - What?
- 你想不想…? - 什么?
Yeah, sorry. What were you gonna?
抱歉,你想说什么来着?
Just to hang out.
一起玩玩
Oh. That's crazy. I was like, "What's he gonna say?"
真没想到,我还在想“他会说什么类?”
And then you said that. It's not what I thought you were gonna say.
然后你就来了那句,我没想到
That is a chair.
这是把椅子
Fuck, yeah.
屁话
Do I curse too much?
我是不是一直讲脏话?
Fuck, no.
彼此彼此
六周后
Dr. Anseed, three-two-five-one. Dr. Anseed...
安西德医生,3251,安西德医生…
- Hey.  - Three-two-five-one.
…3251
Can I say something?
我能发表下意见吗?
And don't take this the wrong way,
你不要误会
because you know I'll be your friend, no matter what.
因为你知道的,不管怎样我都是你的朋友
It's just, you've been kind of depressing to be around lately,
就是啊,你最近情绪有点低落
and I might start avoiding you in the hallway, that's all.
我可能会在走廊上回避下你,就这样
Just thought you should know.
就跟你说一声哈
So, we won't be there for the rehearsal dinner,
晚宴彩排我们就不去了
but we'll definitely be there for the wedding on Saturday.
但星期六的婚礼我一定会到的
Well, what are you doing tonight?
那你今晚什么安排?
Adam's episode is taping tonight, so Eli wanted to go.
今晚会录制亚当写的那集,伊莱想去看看
- I don't have to go.  - No. No, go. Have fun, really.
- 我也不是一定要去 - 没关系,去吧,玩开心点
Doctors.
你们好
So?
怎么说?
Don't worry about it. I'll see you Saturday.
别担心,周六见
- He's an amazing lover.  - Oh, boy.
- 他是个谈情的高手 - 神啊
That's...
所以啊…
why they call him Bones.
…他叫彭斯
You know, I worry about you sometimes.
你知道么,我有时候很担心你
Why? Is this about me not having a date?
为什么?就因为我没男人?
No, no. I know you can dance alone, and I know that you'll be fine.
不是,我知道你一个人没问题, 也知道你会活得很好
You're always fine.
你一直都是
- So?  - I don't know.
- 重点是? - 说不清
When we lost your father, I couldn't stand to see you in pain,
你父亲去世时,我不忍心看到你痛苦
and... I think you knew that.
我想…你自己也知道的
And I think that... you got good at being strong for me.
我也发觉…你为了我变得更加坚强
But I'm telling you, be hurt.
但我想说的是,受点伤吧
I can take it.
有我在呢
The world can take it.
地球也照常运转
OK.
好吧
Very pretty here.
这里真美
So come by the bar. Great place.
有空来酒吧坐坐,好去处
Bring your friends. I will take care of you.
带上你的朋友,我会好好招待你们的
Here's my business card. I'm the owner. Me.
这是我的名片,老板正是在下
- So make sure you come by.  - Yeah.
- 一定要来啊 - 好的
All right? Hey. Great job.
好吗?嘿,剧本写的不错啊
- Yeah, great job, man.  - Really good, yeah.
- 是啊,牛叉啊,兄弟 - 绝对
- You guys liked it? Like really?  - Yeah.
- 你们真喜欢么? - 那是
- But Wallace cried.  - So?
- 华莱士还哭了 - 不行啊?
It reminded me of my senior prom.
让我想起了我的毕业舞会
I got a hand job on the dance floor to "Who Let The Dogs Out."
当时放了首“谁放的狗”, 在舞池里有个女生给我给我打手枪
Hey. Sorry. OK, so there's good news, bad news.
打扰下,现在有个好消息和个坏消息
The bad news is, Megan is remarkably drunk.
坏消息是,梅根烂醉如泥
Seriously, she was, like, trying to take her shirt off.
真的,她还想把衣服扒了
But the good news is, she wants to put you on staff.
好消息是,她想让你进剧组
- Really?  - So... Yeah.
- 真的? - 对啊
- That's amazing.  - Yeah, so she... Yeah.
- 爽歪歪 - 是啊
- Thank you.  - So, you're a paid writer.
- 多谢 - 你现在是有偿编剧了
Yeah.
不错嘛
Oh, my God. She's getting on the buffet table? That makes...
神啊,她要爬到餐桌上去了,那真是…
Wow.

Why are you not trying to fuck that girl?
你怎么不上她?
Yeah.
就是
Yeah, she's crazy hot, Adam. She's like a sexy scientist.
她那么正,就像个性感的科学家
You need to go over there, man up, you need to go for it.
你赶紧上前去,爷们点,主动出击
We're counting on you here, man. Man up, man!
我们看好你哦,爷们点,爷们!
- Go for it! Man up!  - You keep saying "Man up."
- 快上!爷们! - 你一直在说“爷们点”
- You cried during the show.  - I liked the show.
- 可你看电视剧还会哭 - 人家喜欢嘛
Yeah.

- It was very good.  - It was OK.
- 很好 - 还行啦
You know, I have to... One minute.
我得去…马上回来
Katie?
凯蒂?
The bridesmaids had pot.
伴娘带了点吃的给我
Oh, my God, I'm so hungry.
天哪,我都饿死了
Are you OK?
你没事吧?
I'm fine, I just... You know, I just...
很好,只是… 
Oh, God, I just love Kevin.
我很爱凯文
I just love Kevin so much, you know?
我太爱他了,你知道么?
- I know you think it's stupid.  - No. No, I don't.
- 我知道你觉得我很傻 - 没,我没有
- You don't?  - No.
- 你不这么认为? - 不
I can't stop thinking about him.
我老是会想起他
Who? Adam?
谁?亚当?
Yeah. I know it's over, and I'm looking.
是啊,我知道我们结束了, 而且我也在物色新人选
It's just no one is as...
只是没人像他那样…
- Tall?  - He's so tall.
- 高大? - 他很高
- So tall...  - And he's so, like...
- 太高了… - 而且他很…
- Happy?  - Annoyingly happy, all the time.
- 乐观? - 乐观的要死,一直这样
But he has this...
但他有…
He has the best heart.
他心肠最好了
- Call him.  - What? No.
- 打给他 - 什么?不行
I can't just call him.
我不能打给他
I'm too stoned. Don't argue with me.
我太晕了,别跟我争
He doesn't want me to call him.
他不会想要我给他打电话的
I'm the bride. You have to do what I say.
我是新娘,你得听我的话
- We haven't talked in months.  - I'm the bride, it's my day.
- 我们几个月没讲过话了 - 我是新娘,今天我最大
It's my day!
听我的!
Hey, Adam!
亚当!
Oh, God.
神呐
You're so dope. Did you know that about yourself?
你太正点了,你知道不?
Mama needs to get a cab home, so...
老妈该打车回家了
- Yeah.  - Shoot, I left my phone in my office...
- 对的 - 悲剧,我把手机忘办公室了…
I got it, I got it. Hang on. Here.
手机我有,等下,给
- Do you want to call and just?  - Yeah.
- 你要叫车? - 对的
What are you doing?
你干嘛
Chuck! Chuck! Will you please fuck off? Please?
查克!查克!你就不能滚远点?
- I don't want to go.  - Yeah, all right.
- 我不要回家 - 好吧
I don't want to go home.
我不要回家
- I don't want to go home.  - Who is it?
- 我不想回家 - 谁打来的?
"Do Not Call Her" is calling. Do you want to take it?
“别打给她”打来的,要接吗?
I want your face.
给我亲个
Hello?
喂?
Hi.

It's Emma. Kurtzman.
我是艾玛•库兹曼
From Camp Weehawken.
威霍肯营一起的
Yes... What is it?
有事么?
So, my sister is getting married in Santa Barbara tomorrow, and...
明天我妹妹要在圣巴巴拉结婚了,还有…
I don't know. I heard your show is tonight. Congratulations.
还有我也不知道, 我还听说今晚要录你的剧本,恭喜了
Thank you.
谢谢
I know this is random. I just...
我知道这很唐突,我只是…
I miss you. I miss you so much.
我想你了,我很想你
OK.
好吧
I don't know what to say.
我不知道该说什么
You're... You're calling me because you're at your sister's wedding,
你打给我是因为你在妹妹的婚礼上…
and she looks happy, and...
她很幸福,而且
everyone is happy, and you're not.
…大家都很开心,可你却不是
I thought... I don't know what I thought. I just...
我以为…我不也不知道我是怎么想的,只是…
I... I guess I wanted to hear your voice.
我想我就是想要听到你的声音
- I mean, I know we broke up, but...  - Emma.
- 我知道我们分手了,但… - 艾玛
We didn't break up. We never started.
我们没分手,我们从来就没开始过
I gotta go. I'm still at work, so...
我要挂了,我在工作,所以…
Have fun at the wedding, and tell your sister congratulations.
好好享受婚礼,代我恭喜你妹妹
Bye.
再见
Oh, fuck.
法克
I have to...
我得…
- Go.  - Now.
- 去吧 - 现在就走
- Hey. Can I?  - Hey. Of course.
- 我能坐下么? - 当然
Is everything OK? Are you?
你没事么?
Yeah.
没事
- Yeah. Yes.  - Yeah. Good.
- 恩,没事 - 很好
- This is amazing.  - Yeah.
- 美好的一天 - 是啊
Thank you for this. This...
多谢了,这…
- What?  - This was all you.
- 谢什么? - 都是你的功劳
- What? No, I mean...  - No, I'm not here without you.
- 没有啦… - 没有你,我也没有今天
That's... That's not true. It's all you.
不是啦,都是你的功劳
It's all you. This was all you.
都是你自己,靠你自己的
Hey, wait! If you don't make it back for my wedding, I'll kill you.
慢着!如果你赶不回来参加我的婚礼, 我宰了你
Bye. Drive safe.
再见,安全驾驶哦
No, but that was you, and it felt poignant
都是你,正中我心啊
that, of course, the song was "It Was You."
那当然了,这首歌就叫“原来是你”
- When Benji and Sari did the kiss...  - They committed to it.
- 当本杰明和萨莉接吻的时候… - 他们很投入
That's what hit. Do you think they could remix the song?
那是高潮部分,你觉得他们能改编下歌曲吗?
How drunk was Megan? She tried to hump my leg.
梅根醉成什么样了?她还想抱我大腿
You have no idea, the stories that I could tell you.
你是不知道,这种事多着呢
- No, she really tried to like mount it.  - Yeah, I know.
- 她真的快要骑上来了 - 我知道
Yeah, I got it.
我来吧
Ornery thing.
真气人
Hey. How'd it go? Did you find him?
怎么样?找到他没?
Yeah. He was with... with a girl. It was his girlfriend.
找到了,他和一个女的一起,女朋友
And I was in a bush.
而我躲在树丛里
- Oh.  - Yeah.
- 尴尬了 - 是啊
Crap.
真糟
- Are you still there?  - Yeah.
- 你还在那边? - 恩
OK, get in your car and drive away.
开车走人
And how much money do you have on you?
你身上带了多少钱?
Like ten bucks.
大概十块
OK. The box of 50 doughnut holes is $5.79.
一盒50个装的甜甜圈要5块79
You're gonna need two boxes.
你需要两盒
I lost him.
我失去他了
- I'm so sorry.  - Yeah.
- 我知道你很难过 - 是的
- I love you.  - I know.
- 我爱你 - 我知道
So, then when I was, like, 11, I was in therapy
当我11岁的时候,我去看心理医生
because I was, like, obsessively biting my hair,
因为我沉迷于咬自己的头发
and then three months in, my therapist died.
然后三个月以后,他就死了
- I know, so that was kind of a bummer.  - Whoa.
我知道,这有点悲催啦
But, yeah. That's why I hate planes.
所以我讨厌飞机
Thanks.
谢谢
- So, that's that story.  - Cheers.
- 事情就是这样 - 干杯
Thank you.
谢谢
- I'm so sorry.  - No...
- 抱歉 - 没事…
- That was such a fail on my part.  - It's OK...
- 我的错 - 没关系
- Wait, let me...  - It's fine.
- 等等,让我… - 没关系
We can... I can do better than that.
我们…我能做的更好
- Can we try again?  - Sure. Mulligan.
- 再试一下好吗? - 当然,再来一次
- Let's... Why don't we?  - OK.
- 我们坐下吧 - 好的
All right.
好了
Oh, my God. This is happening. Is this really happening?
神啊,终于等到这一刻了,这是真的吗?
Oh, my God. You're touching me. This is so happening.
神啊,你在抚摸我,果然是真的
Maybe we don't need to talk about everything.
也许你不用全部都说出来
Oh. OK, great. OK. Cool.
好的,好的
Wait. Are you sure that you want to do this, though?
你确定我们要做吗?
Yes. Yeah.
当然
OK, 'cause, like, we can just talk about it, if you want...
如果你不想,你可以直说…
- Let's not talk about it.  - Oh, OK. OK.
- 还是别说了 - 很好
Wait. Should I take my shirt off, or do you want to...
那是我把自己衣服脱了,还是…
Do you want to take it off yourself?
你来脱?
- I'll take it off.  - You know what? I'll take it off.
- 我来脱吧 - 还是我自己脱吧
OK.
好了
Glad I wore a good bra.
还好我穿了件好内衣
Is that your phone? Do you wanna?
你电话响了?要接吗?
We'll just ignore it.
无视好了
You can just get it.
你去接吧
No, it's fine.
没事啦
- Is it "Do Not Call Her"?  - No.
- 是不是“别打给她” - 不是
I don't know.
我也不清楚
Wait. I'll just...
等下,我还是去…
- OK.  - I'll just shut it off.
- 好 - 我就去把它关了
Yeah, just... That'll be easier, switch...
那样比较好…
- Sorry.  - Yeah.
- 不好意思 - 没事
Vanessa?
维娜莎?
- I'm coming.  - You're what?
- 我马上到 - 你干嘛?
It's my dad. There's an emergency. He's in the hospital.
我爸出事了,现在在医院
Oh, my God. OK. Do you want me to go with you?
天啊,要我陪你去吗?
- No, I'm OK.  - OK.
- 不用,我可以的 - 好的
- Can I call you later?  - Yeah. No, I'll get a cab.
- 我晚点打给你? - 没事,我自己打车
I'll, like, find my way home. Go. Yeah.
我自己能回家,你去吧
# But they don't know the truth #
# My heart's crippled by the vein #
# That I keep on closing #
# You cut me open and I #
# Keep bleeding #
流吧,流吧,流血的爱
Keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding
流吧,流吧,流血吧
Hey. Where is he? What happened?
他人呢?出什么事了?
OK.
好吧
Don't freak out, OK?
别生气,好吗?
Your dad overdosed on cough syrup.
你爸止咳糖浆喝多了
- He what?  - The Purple Drank.
- 神马? - 喝了紫色醉鬼
"The Purple Drank"?
“紫色醉鬼”?
It's Seven-Up, cough syrup and a Jolly Rancher.
七喜,止咳糖浆加水果糖浆
Why would he do that, Vanessa?
他干嘛要喝这个,维娜莎?
Because he loves Lil Wayne, OK?
他喜欢李尔•维恩(黑人饶舌歌手),行了吗?
You don't know everything about your dad.
你一点都不了解你爸
Why are you making him listen to Lil Wayne?
你干嘛让他听李尔•维恩
- You should be taking care of him.  - I can't do this. I can't do it.
- 你该照顾好他的 - 我做不来,做不来
You know, I didn't think that it was gonna be so...
我没想到会这样…
I don't want to have kids. I... I just... I want to have fun.
我不想要小孩,我只想玩
- He's so old.  - Yeah. He's getting older.
- 他已经老了 - 是啊,他会越来越老
And you're gonna have to deal with that.
你得面对现实
Adam... old people scare me.
亚当…我怕老人
Let's just go see him, OK?
我们还是去看他,行吗?
No, no, no. I can't. I can't. Adam, I can't. I've gotta go.
不不不,我不去,我要走了,亚当
My friend, she's having a party. I'm already so late.
我朋友在开派对,我迟到很久了
Will you just take Freckles?
你能带着斑斑吗?
Don't take this the wrong way, but you're a terrible person.
无意冒犯,但是你人品真的很烂啊
Just take Freckles.
快抱斑斑
Hey, Dad.
老爸
Hey, kiddo.
儿子
- I had a bad trip on The Drank.  - Yeah, I heard.
- 我有点喝高了 - 听说了
If anybody asks, this is a Seeing Eye dog.
有人问起的话,就说是导盲犬
- Where's?  - She went home.
- 她呢? - 回家了
Right.
好吧
I really don't like the Little Wayne. Can't understand what he's saying.
我其实不喜欢小维恩, 都听不懂他在唱什么
You know who I wish was here right now?
你知道我希望现在谁在我身边吗?
Your mom.
你妈妈
Yeah. Well, you left her, so...
好吧,是你离开她的…
Why?
为什么?
When you're married and you do blow...
当你结婚以后,被发现口交的话…
try to stay away from women who want to fuck you.
你应该和所有想和你上床的女人保持距离
Even ugly women.
即使那女的长的不行
Blow is blind, Adam. Blow is blind.
口交是盲目的,亚当,盲目的
You're an asshole.
你混蛋
But you're not.
但你不是
You got a good heart, Adam. Try to keep it.
你很善良,亚当,继续保持
Where's that girl, Emma? You guys still together?
那个艾玛呢?你们还在一起么?
- We were never together.  - Oh, that's right. Friends...
- 从没在一起过 - 对了,你们是…
Sex friends... I'm old. I don't know what you call it.
炮友…我落伍了,不知道你们怎么叫的
You liked her.
你喜欢她
She drives me crazy.
对她日思夜想
I'm 58 years old. I've been married three times.
我已经58岁了,结了三次婚
Twice.
两次
OK.
好吧
I've got six pictures of my cock on my phone,
我手机里有六张我的小弟弟的照片
and two of someone else's,
还有两张别人的
and I'm still pretty high on the cough syrup,
而我喝咳嗽药水还是会high
so you can take this with a grain of salt, but
你大可不必相信我的话,但…
we don't pick who we fall in love with.
我们无法决定会爱上谁
And it never happens like it should.
爱情从不会按照我们的设想发生
Yes.
就这样
I may have to kill this dog. I just haven't decided how.
我也许会杀了这狗,我只是还没想好怎么个杀法
Get some sleep, Dad.
休息吧,老爸
I'll call you in the morning.
明天早上打给你
He'll call in the morning.
他明早给我打电话
Isn't that something?
是不是说明什么呢?
Am I boring you?
你很烦我吗?
Oh, good.
很好
Adam!
亚当!
Hey. You can't call me and tell me that you miss me.
你不能打电话给我,还说你想我
I don't want to have that conversation on the phone.
我不想在电话里说
So you can't text me and you can't e-mail me,
你也不能发短信或邮件
and you can't... write on my wall.
也不能在facebook上给我留言
Like, if you really miss me, you need to grow up
如果你真的想我,就成熟一点
and get in your car and come and see me.
开车来见我
I'm here.
我来了
How did... How did you know that?
你…你怎么知道?
Shira texted me about your dad, so I came here.
希拉发短信跟我说了你爸的事,所以我过来了
You got...
你脸上有…
How is your dad?
你爸怎么样了?
- He's OK.  - Good.
- 他没事 - 那就好
- I know I can't just call you.  - No. You can't.
- 我知道我不能随随便便就打给你 - 对,你不能
I know. I hurt you. I'm sorry.
我知道,我伤害了你,对不起
I don't know why I wasted so much time pretending I didn't care.
我不知道为什么我要浪费这么多时间假装不在乎
I guess I just didn't want to feel like this.
我想我只是不想记忆里只有这些
It hurts.
很伤心的
But I love you. I'm totally and completely in love with you,
但我爱你,全心全意的爱你 
and I don't care if you think it's too late, I'm telling you anyway.
不管你是否觉得为时已晚,我还是要告诉你
- Will you please say something?  - Wait.
- 你怎么不讲话? - 慢着
You should know...
你应该知道…
if you come any closer,
…如果你再走近一步
I'm not letting you go.
我就不会放手了
- I love you.  - That's good.
- 我爱你 - 很好
You want to go with me to this stupid thing?
你想跟我去做一件蠢事么?
Your sister's wedding thing?
你妹妹的婚礼?
How long do we have till we have to be there?
去之前我们还有多少时间?
A couple hours.
几个小时
- What do you want to do?  - Something crazy.
- 你想做什么? - 疯狂的事呗
Now I know why you never wanted to have breakfast with me.
我现在知道你为什么不要和我一起吃早餐了
What?
为什么?
You eat like a baby dinosaur. You don't even chew.
你只起来就像只小恐龙,嚼都不嚼的
Do you think you can get used to it?
你能习惯不?
Yeah, I think so.
可以
Good. I was hoping we could do this a lot more.
很好,我希望我们能经常一起吃早餐
Really? You know, I was thinking...
真的?我还在想…
We're gonna have to come up with some new rules.
我们要定一些新的规矩了
I'd like to start calling you "honey" and "babe."
我想开始叫你“亲爱的”或“宝贝”
- I don't know about "babe."  - No?
- “宝贝”还是免了 - 好吧
- Snuggling?  - Oh, yeah.
- 抱抱? - 准
- I'm gonna hold your hand.  - Wow. This is all moving so fast.
- 我会拉着你的手 - 发展的很快嘛
Also, I'd like to leave the door open when I pee.
还有,我喜欢开着门小便
I think no.
不准
I think I'm gonna do it all the time. It's gonna get weird.
我就要这么做,你不喜欢拉倒
- Thank God we're on time.  - Yeah.
- 谢天谢地我们准时赶到了 - 是啊
So what happens now?
现在是怎样?
- Adam should be here any minute.  - Good, 'cause I'm starving.
- 亚当随时回来 - 太好了,我都饿死了
So, you've told him about us.
你跟他说了我们的事吧
- No, not yet.  - What?
- 还没 - 哈?
I thought I'd wait till he got here.
我想等他来了再说
- And that's a good idea?  - Yeah, it'll be fine.
- 这妥当吗? - 么事啦
So, to Burning Man?
敬火人狂欢节?
- Was that fun, or what?  - So fun.
- 爽歪歪吧? - 绝对
Dad!
老爸!
Eli!
伊莱!
This is her! This is Patrice!
这就是帕翠斯!
Hi, it's so nice to see you again.
很高兴再见到你们
- We love you already!  - Come on, family hug!
- 我们看好你哦 - 来,全家抱抱
# That roll back when she's laughing at me #
# She rises up like the tide #
# The moment her lips meet mine #
# We may only have tonight #
# But till the morning sun you're mine #
# all mine #
# Play the Music low and sway to the rhythm of love #
# When the moon is low #
# We can dance in slow motion #
# And all your tears will subside #
Shira, I feel like there are parts of me that I haven't explored yet.
希拉,我觉得我还没见够世面呢
And I'm feeling like I want to see other people.
我想和你分手
Oh, I thought... This is embarrassing.
我还以为… 真是尴尬了
I have been seeing other people, Sam.
我一直在跟别人幽会
- You have?  - Yeah, a lot of other people.
- 真的? - 是啊,还不止一个
How many?
几个?
I don't know, man. I mean,
不知道啦
two that I can think of off the top of my head, but...
现在我能想到两个,但是…
- You remember when I went to Cabo?  - Yeah.
- 你还记得我去了趟卡波圣卢卡斯吗? - 记得
- I was a very bad girl on that trip.  - You're kidding me?
- 一路上我可淫荡了 - 不是吧
You're doing great.
你做的很好
Keep pushing.
继续用力
Oh, God.
上帝啊
I've got the ice chips, honey. Here you go.
刨冰来了,亲爱的,张嘴
Oh, I hate you, you dumb fuck! Get the fuck out...
我恨死你了,你这个蠢人,快拿开
- You eat the fucking ice chips!  - I love you so much.
- 你TM的自己吃了吧 - 我爱死你了
Come on. It's OK.
来嘛,没事的

 

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