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FML搬运!!

(2011-03-08 22:29:36)
标签:

杂谈

Today, I discovered that sea-sickness also applies when making love on my girlfriend's new water bed. FML
今天我发现自己和女友在她的新水床上补魔的时候也会晕船。FML
(Nice boat!)

Today, it's official, we measured. My boyfriend's manboobs are bigger then my breasts. FML
今天经过我们的精确测量,我正式宣布,我男朋友的咪咪尺寸超过我了!FML
(。。。。。。)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was taking me out to eat to his favorite restaurant. He said I could order whatever I wanted and he'd pay for it. He took me to Red Lobster, knowing full well that I'm allergic to seafood. FML
今天我男朋友说要带我去他最喜欢的餐厅,还说哥今天请客不差钱你随便点。结果他带我去了一家名叫红龙虾的海鲜馆子,你明明知道我对海鲜过敏的啊喂!FML
(是啊饮料随便点啊)

Today, I went snowboarding and fell backwards, hitting my head on a patch of ice. When I got home, I told my brother I thought I might have a concussion. He told me I should be a man and suck it, swiftly smacking my head, causing me to pass out. FML
今天我滑雪的时候向后摔了一跤,脑袋撞在了一块冰上。回家之后我对老哥说自己可能有点脑震荡。他说爷们点撑过去,然后拍了一下我的头,我被拍的晕了过去。FML
(爷们就要对自己狠一点)




Today, I discovered that my facebook profile picture, of me between my boyfriend and a friend, is actually me between my boyfriend and the girl he has been cheating on me with. FML
今天我发现我facebook的头像照片----我,男朋友,还有他的一个朋友的合影,实际上应该是是我,男朋友,还有他的小三。FML
(你们三个就是吉祥幸福的一家)

Today, my husband told me I was lucky to have someone who would love me no matter what my vagina smelled like. FML
今天我丈夫对我说你知足吧,至少有人不管你下面那儿有多难闻还依然爱你。FML
(。。。。。。)

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML
今天我们班上在讨论血统。我说自己是德日混血,还信犹太教,老师听后表示这个“笑话”很冷。为啥我每次提到自己背景的时候人们都是这个态度啊喂!FML
(一夏你最终还是从了德国妹子么!)

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
今天我老爸喝醉了,问我有没有继承他的“迷你小钢枪”。FML
(我们家这杆枪要重夺兵器谱上的排名!)

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