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如何对付难弄的上司(2/5)(11月28日清朗之晨哟!)

(2007-11-28 07:29:29)
标签:

职场/励志

对付上司

How to Deal with a Difficult Boss

如何对付难弄的上司(2/5)

By Donna Brown Hogarty

 (翻译:钱妮娜) 

Although standing up to the bully often works, it could make matters worse. Mardy Grothe recommends a different strategy: reasoning with him after he’s calmed down, “Some bosses have had a problem with temper control all their lives, and are not pleased with this aspect of their personality,” he explains. Want a litmus test? If the boss attempts to compensate for his outburst by overreacting and trying to “make nice” the next day, says Grothe, he or she feels guilty about yesterday’s bad behavior.

尽管和蛮横的老板针锋相对经常会奏效,但它也有可能把事情弄得更糟。马帝. 葛罗斯建议采用另一种方法:在老板冷静下来以后和他讲道理,“控制不住自己的情绪是有些老板一辈子的毛病,他自己也对这方面的性格很不满意,”他解释道。想试试真假?如果老板试着为自己过激的情绪波动做些弥补并且第二天看上去“客客气气”的,葛罗斯说,那么他或她是在为自己昨天糟糕的行为表示内疚。

Grothe suggests explaining to your boss how his temper affects you. For instance, you might say. “I know you’re trying to improve my performance, but yelling makes me less productive because it upsets me.”

葛罗斯建议向老板解释下他的情绪对你造成了怎样的影响。例如,你可以这样说。“我知道您设法让我的表现更出色,但是大吼大叫只会让我更加效率低下,因为这让我感到不安。”

Whatever strategy you choose, deal with the bully as soon as possible, because “once a dominant subservient relationship is established, it becomes difficult to unshackle.” warns industrial psychologist James Fisher. Fisher also suggests confronting your boss behind closed doors whenever possible, to avoid being disrespectful. If your boss continues to be overbearing, try these strategies from psychologist Leonard Felder, author of Does Someone at Work Treat You Badly?

不管你采取哪种策略,都要尽快把恃强凌弱的老板摆平,因为“一旦建立起服从于强权的关系,就很难再有所改变。”工业心理学家詹姆斯·费希尔警告说。费希尔同样建议无论何时都尽量关着门和你的老板争辩,以免失于礼数。如果你的老板还是一如既往地专横跋扈,试试《你在工作中受委屈了吗?》一书的作者心理学家伦纳德·费尔德所提出的办法。

To keep your composure while the boss is screaming, repeat a calming phrase to yourself, such as “Ignore the anger. It isn’t yours.”

在老板大声嘶叫的时候保持镇定,不断对自己重复令人心平气和的短语,比如“别人生气我不气……”

Focus on a humorous aspect of your boss’s appearance. If she’s got a double chin, watch her flesh shake while she’s complaining. “By realizing that even the most intimidating people are vulnerable, you can more easily relax,” explains Felder.

注意观察你老板外表上滑稽的一面。如果她是双下巴,在她埋怨时看着她那块赘肉晃动。“当你发现即使是最善于言辞恐吓的人也很脆弱时,你就很容易变得轻松起来,”费尔德解释道。

Wait for your boss to take a breath, then try this comeback line: “I want to hear what you’re saying. You’ve got to slow down.”

等你老板停下来喘气的时候,试着回敬这么一句:“我想听你说了些什么。你最好放慢一下语速。”

Finally, never relax with an abusive boss, no matter how charming he or she can be, says Stanley Bing. “The bully will worm his or her way into your heart as a way of positioning your face under his foot.”

最后,斯坦利·宾说,绝不可对肆意谩骂的老板放松警惕,无论他或她是多么地富有魅力。“恃强凌弱者总是把他或她的做法植根到你脑中以此来把你踩在脚下。”

The Workaholic. “SOME BOSSES don’t know the difference between work and play,” says Nancy Ahlrichs, “vice president of client services at an international firm that finds new jobs for employees who have been or are about to be dismissed.” If you want to reach them at night or on a Saturday, just call the office. Worse, such a boss invades your every waking hour, making it all but impossible to separate your own home life from the office.

疯狂工作类。“有些老板根本分不清工作和娱乐的区别,”南希·阿瑞克说,“一家国际公司客户服务部的副总裁总是在员工已经或者即将下班时,给他们找些活干。”如果你想在深夜或者周末找到他们,只要打办公室电话就好了。更糟的是,这样的老板在你醒着的每时每刻都会来烦你,使得你根本无法将家庭生活和工作区分开来。

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