1. Five Hundred Times 

In the traffic court of a large Midwestern city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye.''You ate a school teacher, eh?'' said he. ''Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. I've waited years to have a school teacher in this court. Sit down at that table and write ''I went through a red light'' five hundred times!''

五百遍

在一个中西部的大城市的交通法庭上，一位年轻的女士正在法官面前接受闯红灯的传票。她向法官解释说，她是一名教师，并请求法官能对此案做出即时裁决，她还得赶去学校上课。这时，法官的眼里放出一道狂喜之光。“你是一名教师，嗯？”他说，“女士，我终于可以实现我毕生的夙愿了！我在这法庭上一直等的就是一名教师。坐那张桌子旁，把‘我闯了红灯’给我写五百遍！”

2.The Cheese

 The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese, which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: ''You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?'' ''In the rat-trap, sir,'' replied the boy.

奶酪

女主人向一位意外道访的客人道歉，因为她做的苹果派没放奶酪。这家的小男孩悄悄地出了屋子，一会拿着一块奶酪回来了，他把奶酪放在了客人的盘子上。客人笑了，边嚼着奶酪边说：“好孩子，你眼神肯定比你妈妈好。你是从哪找到奶酪的？”小男孩回答：“在老鼠夹子上。”

3.Who Is the Best

There was a doctor, a civil engineer, and a computer scientist sitting around late on evening, and they got to discuss which was the oldest profession.The doctor pointed out that according to Biblical tradition, God created Eve from Adam's rib. This obviously required surgery, so therefore that was the oldest profession in the world.The engineer countered with an earlier passage in the Bible that stated that God created order form the chaos and that was most certainly the biggest and best civil engineering example ever, and also proved that his profession was the oldest profession.The computer scientist leaned back in her chair, and with a sly smile responded, ''Yes, but who do you think created the chaos?'' 

谁与争锋

从前，一个晚上，有一个医生，一个工程师和一个计算机科学家围坐在一起，讨论着哪种职业是最古老的。医生指出，根据《圣经》的记载，上帝用亚当的肋骨造出了夏娃。这显然需要外科手术，所以，医生是世界上最古老的职业。工程师反对说，根据《圣经》上的前几页所陈述的，上帝从混乱中创造了世界的秩序，这当然是人类工程中最有说服力的一例了，所以这就证明工程师是最久远的职业。计算机科学家倚靠在她的椅子里，狡黠一笑，说道：“是啊，但你认为是谁创造了混乱呢？”