Unit 4 Taste the sweets and bitters of family life

II. Basic Listening Practice

1.       Script

M: Amy, sit down, we need to talk. Your mother and I are going to separate.

W: What! Are you crazy? You can’t do that! What will my friends say? I just want to have a normal family.

Q: What is the girl saying?

2.       Script

M: Good evening, Mrs. Jones. The manager sent you these roses and his best wishes to you both for a happy anniversary.

W: Thank you. We like the room and the service here, and we especially appreciate the manager’s consideration/

Q: What can we learn from the conversation?

3. Script

W: While I’m scrambling the eggs, could you put the flour into the bowl?

M: You bet, darling. I’ll also turn the oven on so that it gets warmed up.

Q: Where does this conversation probable take place?

4. Script

W: I have a very important meeting tonight, and I’m afraid I can’t miss it.

M: But this evening is the parents’ meeting at school, and I was expecting you’d come to it. OK, I’ll phone Dad, maybe he and his girlfriend will come.

Q: What can be inferred from the conversation?

5. Script

W1: So you’re still single? If you’d listen to me and used the Internet, you’d have a husband by now.

W2: I did use the Internet. I posted an ad that read “Husband Wanted”. There were dozens of e-mail responses. But they all said pretty much the same thing: You can have mine.

Q: What can we infer from the conversation?

 

III. Listening In

Task 1: Nuclear Family Living Patterns

Script

A nuclear family is typical in high-industrialized societies. Beginning in the early 20^th century, the two-parent family known as the nuclear family was the predominant American family type. Generally children live with their parents until they go away to a college or university, or until they acquire their own jobs and move into their own apartment or home.

In the early mid-20^th century, the family typically was the sole wage earner, and the mother was the children’s principle care giver. Today, often both parents hold jobs. Dual-earner families are the predominant type for families with children in the United States. Increasingly, one of the parents has a non-standard shift; that is, a shift that does not start in the morning and end in later afternoon. In these families, one of the parents manages the children while the other works.

Prior to school, adequate day care of children is necessary for dual-earner families. In recent years, many private companies and home-based day care centers have sprung up fulfill this need. Increasingly, companies are getting involved in the arrangement of day care. Governments are providing assistance to parents that require day care as well.

 

Task 2: Fatherhood in Australia

Script

Can it be true that Australian men spend more time during the week brushing their teeth than they do alone with their children? A new study from the University of New South Wales has discovered that during the working week, Australian fathers only spend an average of just over a minute each day alone with their children. Australian mothers, on the other hand, spend three hours a week purely looking after their  children— a much greater disparity than in other countries like America, Denmark, Italy, and France, where couples divide the childcare more evenly. These findings will probably infuriate those who want to shake off the perhaps unfair image of Australia as a land of old-fashioned male chauvinism.

According to the study, Australian fathers appear to like the fun aspects of parenthood, but shy away from the boring housework. So while they tend to be happy taking the kids to the park or to sporting events, they are unlikely to participate regularly in feeding, bathing, or taking the kids to school. In short, Australian parenting is seen aas a woman’s job and a man’s hobby.

Many people believe that the last 20 years have seen the arrival of the so-called “new-man”— the man who is willing to share the housework and childcare. The new man has a picture of his children on his computer desktop at work; he never misses the kids’ school plays, and he skips a drink at the bar after work so that he can get home in time to read bedtime story to their kids.

This study suggests that the new man feels a little more at home in Europe than in Australian. Indeed, a poll conducted in the U.K. for the think tank the Fatherhood Institute in January indicates that almost 70 percent of British women think that men are as good at raising children as women.

That’s something for Australian men to ponder while they brush their teeth！

 

 

 

Task3: Views on filial piety see change

Script

With fast economic development in Hong Kong, young people are less likely to cherish the traditional notion of filial piety. Instead, they are gradually taking a new approach to a welfare society, according to a three-year survey conducted by the City University of Hong Kong.

As many as 85 percent of the respondents expect the government to take up the responsibilities for supporting the elderly, and 77 percent agree with the idea that the burden should fall on society as a whole rather than on individual families.

Researcher Richard Wong, who took charge of the study, is sad about the eroding of traditionally family bonds. He said that while most people still respect their parents and grandparents, they tend to equate economic assistance with love. When asked about how they would show their love for their old parents, many simply said they would send them to old people’s homes. Others said they would give money, and only two percent of the respondents said they would be ready to take care of the psychological health of their parents.

According to the study, middle-aged people who have children of their own take their own filial duties more seriously. Also, married women know better than men the need for this kind of loving care.

Researcher Wong questioned the wisdom of adopting the new concept of government welfare. He said, “A welfare society is founded on high tax rates, but here in Hong Kong the personal tax rate is only 15 percent. How can you expect the government to take care of all the elderly?”

He further pointed out that even when a social security network can support all senior citizens, it cannot replace the love that only family members can give.

 

 

 

 

IV. Speaking Out

MODEL 1   Is youth wasted on the young?

Amy: I’d like to talk to you, so stop what you’re doing for a minute.

Bill: What is it, Amy? I’m having a hectic time working on this report for tomorrow’s meeting.

Amy: Well, you’re always pretty busy, and it’s been more five years, almost six, since we were married.

Bill:  Yes, time has gone so fast, but they’ve been good years.

Amy: I know, but I want to have a baby—I want us to have a baby.

Bill:  I know you do. But remember, we said we’d wait until we could afford it.

Amy: But five years is a long time to wait. Anyway, it’s long enough.

Bill:  I’m this close to getting a promotion.

Amy: What has that got to do with it? We could wait forever if we wait for the “perfect” moment. Soon we’ll be too old to enjoying having a baby.

Bill:  You know, you have a good point. This report can wait. I’ll do it tomorrow morning. Let’s open a bottle of wine and enjoy ourselves.

 

 

MODEL2 So many people in the United States get divorced!

Script

Kim: Hi Amy.

Amy: Hi! Look at this headline, Kim.

Kim: Wow! So many people in the United States get divorced!

Amy: But this is not uncommon in west. In some places, the divorce rate can be as high as 50 percent.

Kim: It seems strange to me that Westerners fall head heels in love quickly, if not at first sight; but they also leave each other quickly.

Amy: Is it the same in your country?

Kim: I don’t think so. In my country, some marriages break up, but most couples stay together.

Amy: Do people get married young?

Kim: Not really. Not many people get married before the age of 20.

Amy: Hmm. Do woman usually work after they get married?

Kim: No, a lot of women stay home to take care of their families. But more women work now.

 

MODEL3 Why not have both our parents here for Christmas?

Script

Amy: You know, Christmas is coming. And I haven’t seen Dad for ages—he always has such great stories to tell.

Bill:  I know we went t my folks’ last year, but my Mom’s been pretty sick. This might be her last Christmas.

Amy: She’s been ill, but don’t exaggerate. You just don’t like my mother. That’s why you don’t want to go to my parents

Bill:  She’s never liked me. Never thought I was good enough for you.

Amy: Well, you’re not… But seriously, Mom’s not so sad. She’s just got a thick skin and likes to hide her feelings

Bill:  I don’t think so.

Amy: Why not have our both families here for Christmas?

Bill:  That would make twenty-two of us if we invited everybody.

Amy: Why not just have our parents here for Christmas?

Bill: Good idea. Just don’t sit me next to your mother.

 

V. Let’s Talk

1) cry  2) relief  3) strong  4) understanding 5) angry 6) left

7) wondering  8) five  9) sad 10) stress 11) friends   12）helps

13）Christmas  14）cousins  15）presents

 

 

VI.  Further Listening and Speaking

Task1: Task1: Reasons for a Divorce

Script

W: I’m divorcing my husband.

M: How long have you been married?

W: Thirteen years.

M: Do you have children?

W: Yes, and I have to protect them from any more harm from my husband’s irresponsibility

M: So, what are your grounds for divorce?

W: Well, first of all, he keeps changing jobs. We’ve had moved four times in thirteen years!

M: And, you believe that will be good grounds for divorce?

W: I do have a right to stability for my children and myself, don’t I?

M: Aren’t they his children, too?

W: But my husband isn’t fulfilling his duties!

M: Is he paying the bills?

W: Well, yes, but we just live around the poverty line. Our kids are being teased by other kids at school because we can’t dress them in good clothes! We have to live in a small department and drive an old car!

M: Does the car run?

W: Yes, but it looks OLD!

M: Do you yell at him and call him names?

W: Well, he yells at me!

M: So, those are the reasons to not honor your husband. Are you going to give him joint custody in this divorce?

W: No, just visitation rights.

M: Why?

W: Because the law permits me to.

M: And, what about the financial demands of this divorce?

W: I’m demanding half of all we have, which isn’t much, and large support payments.

 

Task 2 : Single-parent problems

Hi, I have been divorced for eight years. My ex sees our child Maria on a regular basis, she is eight and in the second grade. My ex has a wife that is 20. My ex and his wife go to the school almost every day to see our daughter. Our daughter has failed the second grade and now has to repeat it. I have seen her grades plummet since those two started showing up at school. They are both very controlling and verbally abusive tome and to our daughter. I’m concerned about this. He forced my daughter to call his wife mommy. I am really tired of their unkind visits. I don’t know what to do. If you have any advice to give me, I would be grateful. Thanks.

Answer (By a woman psychiatrist):

Hi, Diana. It's obvious to me that your daughter is having problems with the visits. I would suggest having a frank conversation with your daughter to see what she feels the problems are. If she says it is all these problems as you have stated above, I would try to talk to your ex about her problems. I’ll try to stick to what your daughter feels to be the problems and hope he will help your daughter do better at school.

If he is not responsive, the I’ll take your daughter for counseling to help her.

You can’t make others do things that are right for your child, not even their father, so spend your energy on things you can control like counseling for your daughter. Also, you should spend time with her and allow her to vent her feelings on you, and let her know you are always there for her no matter what happens. Try to keep her self-esteem high, when a child fails a grade, they will feel bad. Good luck.

Task3: A man who remarried

Script

If you want me to tell you why I remarried, here’s my story.

Remarriage is the last thing I’d consider for two years after my divorce. I had heard about the high rate of remarriage failure. More importantly, I wondered how remarrying would affect my 10-year-old son. My heart ached when I saw my son draw a picture of himself, my ex-wife and me holding hands, with sadness on our faces. Since my parents have married and divorce eight times altogether, I hope my son would not have to go through the same pain I had experienced. As a result, my primary focus after divorce was my relationship with my son John, not finding a wife.

As time went by, my son gradually grew up, and he became of my loneliness and anxiety. One day he asked me to consider dating. The first timer he said this, I ignored him. The second time he brought it up, I reconsidered my reservations about dating. I began to date Maria. As our relationship developed over the following year, I was concerned about my son would actually respond to her. At first, John’s affection for Maria was lukewarm. For instance, he would hug her, but the act seemed mechanical. But after several times, he warmed up to her. Seeing that the time was ripe, I asked Maria to marry me. She accepted, so our family of two smoothly became a family of three. Thinking back, I believe my remarrying was the right choice.

Some single-parents are still hesitant about remarrying. Now that you’ve heard my story, I hope you won’t hesitate and let golden opportunities slip through your fingers.