学翻译-翻译笔记2

我为乘客服务
How I Serve the Passengers

by Li Suli
有一次，在拥挤的车厢门口，我听见一位男乘客客客气气地问他前面的一个女乘客：“您下车吗?” Once I heard a man politely ask a woman in front of him at the crowded door of the bus, "Are you getting off?"女乘客没理他。The woman made no response. “你下车吗?”他又问了一遍。"Getting off?" he asked again.女乘客还是没理他。The woman still made no response. “下车吗?”他耐不住了，放大声问。那女乘客依然没反应。"Getting off, or not?" he shouted, as he was getting impatient, but there was still no response. “你是聋子，还是哑巴?”他急了，"Are you deaf, or dumb?" he burst out.捅了一下那位女乘客，引得车厢里的人都往这里看。Very much irritated, he gave her a slight push, which attracted the attention of other passengers.女乘客这时也急了，瞪起了一双眼睛，回手给了男乘客一拳。 
Also irritated, the woman stared at him and hit back.
见此情景，我猛然想起在60路沿线上有家福利工厂，女乘客可能就是个聋哑人，听不见声音At this point, I suddenly remembered that there was a welfare factory on the route of Bus No. 60 and that the woman might be a deaf mute from there.。我赶忙向男乘客作了解释，又用纸条写了一句话，举到女乘客的眼前：“对不起！他要下车。他问了您好几声，您是不是没听见?” I told the man what I was thinking and then I wrote on a slip of paper: "Excuse me, but he wants to get off. He's asked you several times, but you didn't seem to hear him. Right?"女乘客点了点头，把道让开了。 When I showed it to the woman, she nodded and made way for him.
从此以后，我就特别注意聋哑人的特征，Since then I have paid special attention to those who look like deaf mutes.还从他们那里学会了一些常用的手语。比如，我可以用哑语问他们：……(省略) I have learned from them some sign language with which I can say such things as "Hello, how are you?" "Where are you going?" "Please move on!" "Thanks!"这样，不仅我能更好地为他们服务，与他们进行感情交流，也减少了一些他们与其他乘客的误会和纠纷。
In this way, I can render them better service and be friends with them and also reduce their misunderstandings and conflicts with other passengers.

（一）解说：
1. 有一次，在拥挤的车厢门口，我听见一位男乘客客客气气地问他前面的一个女乘客：“您下车吗？” Once I heard a man politely ask a woman in front of him at the crowded door of the bus, "Are you getting off?"
原文中的“车厢”从下一段的“60路”可以得知是公交车的车厢而不是火车车厢，故译作“bus”。
原文中的“男乘客”和“女乘客”因已有地点限制，故分别译作“a man”和“a woman”即可，“passenger”一词不必译出。
同理，原文中的“下车”也只需译成“get off”，而无须译作“get off the bus”。此处译文用现在进行时表示即将发生的动作。
2. 随后的两个“下车”都译作“Getting off”，因为在口语中“are you”部分通常被省略。
3. 他急了，捅了一下那女乘客，也引得车厢里的人都往这里看。Very much irritated, he gave her a slight push, which attracted the attention of other passengers.
译文中的“Very much irritated”是过去分词短语作状语，它的逻辑主语就是主句中的“he”。
译文中的“which”引导非限制性定语从句，指前半句说的这件事。
4. 见此情景，我猛然想起在60路沿线上有家福利工厂，女乘客可能就是个聋哑人听不见声音。At this point, I suddenly remembered that there was a welfare factory on the route of Bus No. 60 and that the woman might be a deaf mute from there.
原文中的“见此情景”译作“at this point”，意为“此刻”，和后面的“猛然”在语气上前后呼应。
译文中的“from there”是根据原文添加的。这个聋哑女乘客应该是福利工厂的。
原文中的“听不见声音”没有译出，因为已经说明是聋哑人了。
5. 我赶忙向男乘客作了解释，又…… I told the man what I was thinking and then ......
此句不能直接用“explain”来翻译，因为“explain”是及物动词，要有宾语，但此处没有宾语。
6. 举到女乘客的眼前：… When I showed it to the woman, ......
此原文被处理成一个时间状语从句并往后移到“女乘客点了点头，把道让开了。”的前面。这样处理后，原文引号中的内容就直接跟在“又用纸条写了一句话”的后面，非常紧凑；女乘客看了纸条上的字后点头让道也很自然。
7. 从此以后，我就特别注意聋哑人的特征，…… Since then, I have paid special attention to those who look like deaf mutes.
“我”并不是简单地注意聋哑人的特征，而是留意哪些人看起来像聋哑人，他可以去帮助他们，故“特征”一词不必译出来，而是根据原文意思将其译成“to those who look like deaf mutes”。
8. 比如，我可以用哑语问他们：…… with which I can say such things as ......
原句和上一句是断开的，但在译成英语时用了一个介词前置的定语从句直接跟在上一句后面。这样处理也十分紧凑。
9. 这样，不仅我能更好地为他们服务，也减少了一些他们与其他乘客的误会和纠纷。In this way, I can render them better service and be friends with them and also reduce their misunderstandings and conflicts with other passengers.
译文中用了“and ... and ...and also”来表示递进关系。
原文“与他们进行感情交流”没有逐字翻译，而是译作“be friends with them”。