XXXV. THE ART OF WINNING PEOPLE'S CONFIDENCE

THE art of gaining people's confidence quickly and retaining it is of inestimable
value to a youth who would get on in the world. Very few people possess it. The
majority of us throw barriers in the way of its acquirement. By having a disagreeable manner, lack of tact, or, perhaps, an unpleasant personality, we frequently antagonize or repel those whom we are anxious to please.
Many people have to work hard to overcome the prejudice created by first bad impressions while others, without effort, charm every one they meet.
Success is often due more to engaging manners and an attractive personality than to
great ability.
It is not the teacher who knows most, for instance, who is successful beyond others, but
it is the one who pleases and interests by means of her tact and winning ways. Neither
is it always the salesman who, although knowing his business from A to Z, has repellent
manners, that is most valuable to his employer, but the one who has learned the art of
pleasing.
We are so constituted that we are influenced by what pleases us, even when it warps
our judgment. One may feel a prejudice against a book agent, for example, who has
managed to gain access to him. But if the salesman has an agreeable personality, and
succeeds in quickly making a favorable impression, he will sell the work he is canvassing
for, even though the purchaser does not want it. "I did not really want the book," the lat-
ter will often be heard to say afterwards, "but the fellow was so pleasing, so polite and
genial, that I could not help doing what he wanted me to do."
While the art of winning people's favor and confidence is, in many instances, a natural
gift, like most of the good things in life it may be acquired by those who earnestly
seek it.
The first step to be taken is to cultivate — if you do not already possess it — a uniformly
cheerful disposition. A bright, smiling face will do more to incline a man's heart toward
you and to gain his ear than all the virtues in the calendar handicapped by a gloomy visage.

Be generous with your sympathy, and try to be at least as much interested in the joys
and sorrows of others as you would wish them to be in yours.
When you meet friends or acquaintances, do not " buttonhole " them and pour into their
unwilling ears a history of your affairs.
Listen, rather, to what they have to say, and try to enter as cordially as possible into their
feelings, their hopes and fears and plans.
This does not mean, of course, that you are to be victimized by every bore who wishes to
secure a listener,— it does not matter who,— but it means to give to hungry hearts that
generous measure of sympathy which we all crave.
Treat men as brothers, and, though your kindness may, in some instances, be abused,'
your gain will far outweigh your loss in the healthy, happy atmosphere you will create,
and in the friendly sentiments you will attract to yourself.
Above all things else, be consistent and persistent in your efforts, or you will accomplish little. It will not do to be kind and cheery to-day, and gruff and churlish to-morrow; to
take pains to please one day, and to be wholly indifferent the next. An even disposition is

indispensable to the formation of a strong, reliable character. No one will give his con-
fidence to a man who has the reputation of being fickle or uncertain.