Monday

星期一

For the past week or so, Manny has been getting out of bed every night and coming downstairs.

大约一周以来，曼尼每天晚上总要从床上爬起来到楼下去。

Instead of putting him right back to bed, Mom lets Manny sit with us and watch TV.

但妈妈不仅没有马上把他弄回床上去睡觉，反而放任他跟我们坐在一起看电视。

It’s really not fair, because when Manny is with us, I’m not allowed to watch any of the shows I like.

这也太不公平了。因为只要曼尼和我们在一起，我就无权看自己喜欢的节目了。

All I can say is, when I was a kid there wasn’t any of this “getting out of bed” stuff. I did it once or twice, but Dad put a stop to it real quick.

我只能说，我是孩子的时候哪有“溜下床”这回事啊！我倒是确实这么做过一两回，却让老爸立马给制止了。

There was this book Dad used to read to me every night called “The Giving Tree.” It was a really good book, but the back of it had a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein.

早先的时候，老爸每天晚上给我念一本叫《奉献树》的书。书写得挺好的，不过背面有一张作者的照片，就是这个叫谢尔·希尔维斯坦的家伙。

But Shel Silverstein looks more like a burglar or a pirate than a guy who should be writing books for kids.

咳，这个谢尔•希尔维斯坦看起来更像个窃贼，或者海盗，哪像个写少儿读物的人啊。

http://s5/middle/915d3ff9gb3d0ddccca74&690- 《小屁孩日记》连载（4）" TITLE="英汉对照 - 《小屁孩日记》连载（4）" />

    Dad must have known that picture kind of freaked me out, because one night after I got out of bed, Dad said—

IF YOU GET OUT OF BED AGAIN TONIGHT, YOU’LL PROBABLY RUN INTO SHEL SILVERSTEIN IN THE HALLWAY.

老爸兴许也知道这张照片会让我害怕吧，因为有一天我下床的时候他对我说—

今天晚上你要是再下床，可能会再过道上撞见谢尔•希尔维斯坦哦！

That really did the trick. Ever since then, I STILL don’t get out of bed at night, even if I really need to use the bathroom.

这话还真管用。从这以后，我到现在晚上也不起床，就算真的想上卫生间也不起来。

I don’t think Mom and Dad read Manny any Shel Silverstein books, which probably explains why he keeps getting up after they put him to bed.

我觉得，老爸老妈肯定不给曼尼念谢尔•希尔维斯坦的书；这就是为什么叫他上床之后还会起床的原因。

I’ve heard some of the stories Mom and Dad read to Manny, and let me just say that people who write those books really have a racket going.

我也听过老妈老爸给曼尼念的一些故事，我只能说，写这些书的人挣钱太容易了。

First of all, there are hardly any words in them, so I’m sure it only takes about five seconds to write them.

首先这些书里都没写几个字，所以我肯定写这么东西只需要5秒钟就够了。

SILLY BEAR YAWNING,

SILLY BEAR SAD.

SILLY BEAR SLEEPING,

SILLY BEAR GLAD.

THE END.

傻熊打哈欠

傻熊不开心

傻熊睡觉觉

傻熊真高兴

完

I told Mom what I thought of Manny’s books, and she said if they were so easy to write, then I should try writing one myself.

我跟老妈讲了我对曼尼的

书的看法，但她说了，要是写这些书真有这么容易，那我也可以试试自己写一本啊。

So that’s exactly what I did. Trust me, it wasn’t hard, either. All you have to do is make up a character with a snappy name, and then make sure the character learns a lesson at the end of the book.

我还真的这么做了。说真的，也不是很难。你只要编一个角色、给他取个上口的名字，在书的最后再让他得到一个教训，就全搞定了。

Now all I need to do is mail this thing off to a publisher and wait for the money to rolling in.

现在我需要做的事就是把这东西寄给出版商，然后就等着金钱滚滚来了。

Wise Up, Mr. Shropsharp

By Greg Heffley

别傻了，索普夏普先生

作者：格雷格·赫弗雷

Once upon a time there was a man named Mr. Shropsharp who thought all these crazy thoughts.

从前，有个叫索普夏普先生的男人，他总是有很多疯狂的念头。

I DON’T KNOW MUCH, BUT I DO KNOW ONE THING: POLAR BEARS ARE SOME USELESS ANIMALS.

我知道的并不多，但我确实知道一件事情：北极熊是些没用的动物。

One day Mr. Shropsharp took a ride in his car.

HERE I GO…

某一天，索普夏普先生开着车兜风。

嘿，走啰…

But then…

OOP.

然而后来…

哎呀！

And then…

MR. SHROPSHARP, YOU WOULD HAVE DROWNED, BUT LUCILY TOBUK HERE WAS SITTING ON AN ICEBERG, AND HE SAVED YOUR LIFE.
 http://s14/small/915d3ff9gb3d0f07eee6d&690- 《小屁孩日记》连载（4）" TITLE="英汉对照 - 《小屁孩日记》连载（4）" />

再以后…

索普夏普先生，你本来会被淹死的。不过辛运的是，这个图拔当时正好坐在冰山上，所以他救了你的命。

And so…

BEFORE, I SAID THAT POLAR BEARS ARE SOME USELESS ANIMALS, BUT NOW I CAN SEE THAT NOT EVERY POLAR BEAR IS SO USELESS AT ALL.

THE END
   这么一来…

我原先说过北极熊是些没用的动物，不过现在我得说：并非所有的北极熊都这么没用。

完

See what I mean? The only thing I noticed after I finished the book was that I forget to make it rhyme. But the publisher is gonna have to pay me extra if they want THAT.

懂我的意思了吧？写完这本书我只注意到了一件事，就是我忘了把它写成诗歌形式。不过，要是出版商真的想要我这么做的话，他们得多付点钱给我才行。

注释：stuff（口语）某物，某事；real quick= very quickly很快；freak sb. out使某人惊慌失措；do the trick产生意想不到的效果；have a racket going很容易做成某事，轻松搞定；wise up认识到不情愿的事情，take a ride乘（驾）车出游；rhyme韵文，诗歌