加载中…生命太短，，，
(2023-11-22 13:39:32) 一生简单
塞缪尔·约翰逊的对话
虚荣心使人生出种种愿望，其中最普通，或者最少受非议的，莫过于希望能以谈话艺术博得他人刮目相看。人或许会有其他才艺但却没有机会施展；即使没有，也不必担心这一缺陷会经常被人发现。但是，除非归隐山林，人只要活在世界上，就难免会因四周亲友的时亲时疏，有时得意，有时气恼，所以，予人快乐的本领也就始终会有用武之地。有些人不论到哪里都能成为众人瞩目的中心,一进门就仿佛欢乐也同时降临，但是一旦离去，大家又会惋惜不已，仿佛北方严寒天气里太阳突然消隐，仿佛想象失去了灵感，欢乐失去了源泉，少有其他人能像他们那样经常受到大家的艳羡。
Connversation by Samuel Johnson
None of the desires dictated by vanity is more general, or less
blamable, than that of being distinguished for the arts of
conversation. Other accomplishments may be possessed without
opportunity of exerting them, or wanted without danger that the
defect can often be remarked; but as no man can live, otherwise
than in an hermitage, without hourly pleasure or vexation, from the
fondness or neglect of those about him, the faculty of giving
pleasure is of continual use. Few are more frequently envied than
those who have the power of forcing attention wherever they come,
whose entrance is considered as a promise of felicity, and whose
departure is lamented, like the recess of the sun from northern
climates, as a privation of all that enlivens fancy, or inspirits
gaiety.It
is apparent, that to excellence in this valuable art some peculiar
qualifications are necessary; for every one's experience will
inform him, that the pleasure which men are able to give in
conversation, holds no stated proportion to their knowledge or
their virtue. Many find their way to the tables and the parties of
those who never consider them as of the least importance in any
other place; we have all, at one time or other, been content to
love those whom we could not esteem, and been persuaded to try the
dangerous experiment of admitting him for a companion, whom we knew
to be too ignorant for a counsellor, and too treacherous for a
friend.I
question whether some abatement of character is not necessary to
general acceptance. Few spend their time with much satisfaction
under the eye of uncontestable superiority; and therefore, among
those whose presence is courted at assemblies of jollity, there are
seldom found men eminently distinguished for powers or
acquisitions. The wit whose vivacity condemns slower tongues to
silence, the scholar whose knowledge allows no man to fancy that he
instructs him, the critick who suffers no fallacy to pass
undetected, and the reasoner who condemns the idle to thought and
the negligent to attention, are generally praised and feared,
reverenced and avoided.He
that would please must rarely aim at such excellence as depresses
his hearers in their own opinion, or debars them from the hope of
contributing reciprocally to the entertainment of the company.
Merriment, extorted by sallies of imagination, sprightliness of
remark, or quickness of reply, is too often what the Latins call,
theFor
this reason, no style of conversation is more extensively
acceptable than the narrative. He who has stored his memory with
slight anecdotes, private incidents, and personal peculiarities,
seldom fails to find his audience favourable. Almost every man
listens with eagerness to contemporary history; for almost every
man has some real or imaginary connection with a celebrated
character; some desire to advance or oppose a rising
name.
Vanity often co-operates with curiosity. He that is a hearer in one
place, qualifies himself to become a speaker in another; for though
he cannot comprehend a series of argument, or transport the
volatile spirit of wit without evaporation, he yet thinks himself
able to treasure up the various incidents of a story, and please
his hopes with the information which he shall give to some inferior
society.Narratives
are for the most part heard without envy, because they are not
supposed to imply any intellectual qualities above the common rate.
To be acquainted with facts not yet echoed by plebeian mouths, may
happen to one man as well as to another; and to relate them when
they are known, has in appearance so little difficulty, that every
one concludes himself equal to the task.But
it is not easy, and in some situations of life not possible, to
accumulate such a stock of materials as may support the expense of
continual narration; and it frequently happens, that they who
attempt this method of ingratiating themselves, please only at the
first interview; and, for want of new supplies of intelligence,
wear out their stories by continual repetition.There
would be, therefore, little hope of obtaining the praise of a good
companion, were it not to be gained by more compendious methods;
but such is the kindness of mankind to all, except those who aspire
to real merit and rational dignity, that every understanding may
find some way to excite benevolence; and whoever is not envied may
learn the art of procuring love. We are willing to be pleased, but
are not willing to admire: we favour the mirth or officiousness
that solicits our regard, but oppose the worth or spirit that
enforces it.The
first place among those that please, because they desire only to
please, is due to the merry fellow, whose laugh is loud, and whose
voice is strong; who is ready to echo every jest with obstreperous
approbation, and countenance every frolick with vociferations of
applause. It is not necessary to a merry fellow to have in himself
any fund of jocularity, or force of conception: it is sufficient
that he always appears in the highest exaltation of gladness, for
the greater part of mankind are gay or serious by infection, and
follow without resistance the attraction of
example.Next
to the merry fellow is the good-natured man such as indolence and
insensibility confer. The characteristick of a good-natured man is
to bear a joke; to sit unmoved and unaffected amidst noise and
turbulence, profaneness and obscenity; to hear every tale without
contradiction; to endure insult without reply; and to follow the
stream of folly, whatever course it shall happen to take. The
good-natured man is commonly the darling of the petty wits, with
whom they exercise themselves in the rudiments of raillery; for he
never takes advantage of failings, nor disconcerts a puny satirist
with unexpected sarcasms; but, while the glass continues to
circulate, contentedly bears the expense of uninterrupted laughter,
and retires rejoicing at his own importance.The
modest man is a companion of a yet lower rank, whose only power of
giving pleasure is not to interrupt it.
The modest man satisfies himself with peaceful silence, which all
his companions are candid enough to consider as proceeding not from
inability to speak, but willingness to hear.Many,
without being able to attain any general character of excellence,
have some single art of entertainment which serves them as a
passport through the world. One I have known for fifteen years the
darling of a weekly club, because every night, precisely at eleven,
he begins his favourite song, and during the vocal performance, by
corresponding motions of his hand, chalks out a giant upon the
wall. Another has endeared himself to a long succession of
acquaintances by sitting among them with his wig reversed; another,
by contriving to smut the nose of any stranger who was to be
initiated in the club; another by purring like a cat, and then
pretending to be frightened; and another by yelping like a hound,
and calling to the drawers to drive out the dog.Such
are the arts by which cheerfulness is promoted, and sometimes
friendship established; arts, which those who despise them should
not rigorously blame, except when they are practised at the expense
of innocence; for it is always necessary to be loved, not always
necessary to be reverenced.
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