加载中…人生就是一个走向完整的过程
(2023-11-03 07:57:14) 从前有一只圆圈缺了一块楔子。圆圈想保持完整，便四处寻找失去的那块楔子。由于它不完整，所以只能滚动很慢。一路上，它对花儿露出羡慕之色。它与蠕虫谈天侃地。它还欣赏到了阳光之美。圆圈找到了许许多多不同的配件，但是没有一件能完美地与它相配。所以，它将它们统统弃置路旁，继续寻觅。终于有一天，它找到了一个完美的配件。圆圈是那样地高兴，现在它可以说是完美无缺了。它装好配件，然后滚动起来。既然它已成了一个完整的圆圈，所以滚动得非常快，快得以至于无暇观赏花儿，也无暇与蠕虫倾诉心声。圆圈快奔急骋，发现眼中的世界变得如此不同，于是，它不禁停了下来，将找到的那个配件留在路旁，又开始了慢慢地滚动。
我觉得这个故事告诉我们，从某种奇妙意义上讲，当我们失去了一些东西时反而感到更加完整。一个拥有一切的人，其实在某些方面是个穷人。他永远也体会不到什么是渴望、期待以及对美好梦想的感悟。他也永远不会有这样一种体验：一个爱他的人送给他某种他梦寐以求的或者从未拥有过的东西意味什么。 人生的完整性在于一个人知道如何面对他的缺陷，如何勇敢地摒弃那些不现实的幻想而又不以此为缺憾。人生的完整性还在于一个男人或女人懂得这样一个道理：他（她）发现自己能勇敢面对人生悲剧而继续生存，能够在失去亲人后依然表现出一个完整的人的风范。 人生不是上帝为谴责我们的缺陷而给我们布下的陷阱。人生也不是一场拼字游戏比赛。不管你拼出多少单词，一旦出现了一个错误，你便前功尽弃。人生更像是一个棒球赛季。即使最好的球队比赛也会输掉1／3，而最差的球队也有春风得意的日子。我们的目标就是多赢球，少输球。 我们接受了不完整性是人类本性的一部分，我们不断地进行人生滚动并能意识到其价值，我们就会完成完整人生的过程。而对于别人来讲，这只能是一个梦想。我相信这就是上帝对我们的要求：不求"完美"，也不求"永不犯错误"，而是求得人生的"完整". 如果我们勇敢得能够去爱，坚强得能够去宽容，大度得能够去分享他人的幸福，明智得能够理解身边充满爱，那么我们就能取得别的生物所不能取得的成就。
在人生的各个阶段，我们都会蒙受损失——并且在这一过程中成长。只有在脱离母体.失去庇护所时，我们才会开始独立的生活。我们不断地升学，接着又离开父母，离开儿时的故乡。继而，我们结婚生子，然后又放手让自己的子女出去闯荡。随着父母和配偶的相继离世，我们也逐渐或者很快衰老。最终，正如双手张开与紧握这一寓言所说，我们必须面对自身的死亡，失去原来的自我，失去我们拥有过或者憧憬过的一切 。
生活的艺术在于懂得什么时候追求，什么时候放弃。因为生活就是一个矛盾体：它要我们紧紧抓住它赐予我们的生命之礼，然后最终又让它们从我们手中跑掉。老先生们说：“人们紧握着拳头来到这个世界上，离开这个世界时却摊开了双手。”
我们知道，衣食无忧仅仅是生活的一个方面，人们对生活的要求是多侧面的，文明程度越高，人们的心理需求就越高。尤其是老年人，他们和青年人一样，也有文化的需要，娱乐的需要，尊严的需要，成就感的需要，更何况他们已经走过了生命的大部分历程。他们要在生命的最后一个阶段活得更加舒心，活得更有色彩。
Once a circle missed a wedge. The circle wanted
to be whole, so it went around looking for its missing piece. But
because it was incomplete and therefore could roll only very
slowly, it admired the flowers along the way. It chatted with
worms. It enjoyed the sunshine. It found lots of different pieces,
but none of them fit. So it left them all by the side of the road
and kept on searching. Then one day the circle found a piece that
fit perfectly. It was so happy. Now it could be whole, with nothing
missing. It incorporated the missing piece into itself and began to
roll. Now that it was a perfect circle, it could roll very fast,
too fast to notice flowers or talk to the worms. When it realized
how different the world seemed when it rolled so quickly, it
stopped, left its found piece by the side of the road and rolled
slowly away.
There is a wholeness about the person who has
come to terms with his limitations, who has been brave enough to
let go of his unrealistic dreams and not feel like a failure for
doing so. There is a wholeness about the man or woman who has
learned that he or she is strong enough to go through a tragedy and
survive, she can lose someone and still feel like a complete
person .
Life is not a trap set for us by God so that he
can condemn us for failing. Life is not a spelling bee, where no
matter how many words you’ve gotten right, you’re disqualified if
you make one mistake. Life is more like a baseball season, where
even the best team loses one third of its games and even the worst
team has its days of brilliance. Our goal is to win more games than
we lose. When we accept that imperfection is part of being human,
and when we can continue rolling through life and appreciate it, we
will have achieved a wholeness that others can only aspire to.
That, I believe, is what God asks of us ---
not “Be
perfect ”, not but “Be whole ”.
If
we are brave enough to love, strong enough to forgive, generous
enough to rejoice in another’s happiness, and wise enough to know
there is enough love to go around for us
all, then we can
achieve a fulfillment that no other living creature will ever
know .
At
every stage of life
we losses —and
grow in the process. We begin
our independent lives only when we emerge from
the womb and
lose its protective shelter. We enter a progression of schools,
then we leave our mothers and fathers and our childhood homes. We
get married and have children and then have to let them go. We
confront the death of our parents and our spouses. We face the
gradual or not so
gradual waning of
our strength. And ultimately , as the parable of
the open and closed hand
suggests , we must
confront the inevitability of
our own demise, losing ourselves as it were, all that we were or
dreamed to be .
The art of living is to know when to hold fast
and when to let go. For life is a
paradox : it enjoins us
to cling to its many gifts even while
it ordains
we all know that supply of provisions
and clothing is only one aspect of life; man's demand on life is
many-sided. Higher the civilization, higher is man's psychological
aspiration. This is especially true of old folks. Like young
people, they have the need of cultural life, the need of recreation
and amusement, the need of dignity and the need of accomplishment.
Besides, having traversed greater part of their lives and unwilling
to leave behind too many regrets, they want to, in their remaining
years, make their lives easier and more
substantial.
Life Is
to Be Whole
The lesson of the story, I suggested, was that in some strange
sense we are more whole when we are missing something. The man who
has everything is in some ways a poor man. He will never know what
it feels like to yearn, to hope, to nourish his soul with the dream
of something better. He will never know the experience of having
someone who loves him give him something he has always wanted or
never had.
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