The desire to(对…的追求，注意to) affirm(确定) that women and men are completely equal has made some scholars reluctant（不情愿的） to show ways in which they are different, because differences between two groups of people have so often been used to “justify”（注意引号用法~） unequal treatment and opportunity. Much as（这里表虽然） I understand and am in sympathy with（同情，注意介词） those who wish there were no differences between women and men —only reparable social injustice—my research on styles of conversation（谈话风格） tells me that, at least in this area, it simply isn’t so. I believe that there are gender（n.性别，更为正式） differences in ways of speaking, and we need to identify and understand them. Without such understanding, we are doomed to（注定） blame others or ourselves—or our own relationships—（注意破折号~）for the otherwise mystifying and damaging effects of our contrasting conversational styles（差异较大的对话风格）.

It is clear to me that recognizing gender differences in conversational styles would free individuals from（free…from…将解脱…free在这里巧用动词哈~）  the burden of( …的负担) an inappropriate sense of being at fault（困惑） for chronic disagreements（长期的争论，注意at fault后的介词for）. Many women and men feel dissatisfied with their close relationships—with spouses(夫妇), siblings(兄弟姊妹), parents—and become even more frustrated when they try to talk things out（将事情说明白）. Taking a sociolinguistic approach（n.方法，替换method, way神马的） to such troubling encounters（遭遇，冲突） makes it possible to explain these dissatisfactions without accusing anyone of（谴责…注意介词of~） being wrong and without blaming—or discarding—the relationship.

The sociolinguistic approach I take in my work is based on my belief that many frictions(n.不合) arise because, here in the United States, boys and girls grow up in what are essentially different cultures, so that talk between women and men is actually cross-cultural communication(跨文化交际). For little boys, talk is primarily（主要地） a means of making statements of achievement（宣扬自己成就） through games like bragging contests. This may also be done by exhibiting knowledge（exhibit在这里巧妙用作展示抽象物~学习哈~） or skill and by holding center stage through such verbal performance as storytelling, joking, or imparting information（传递信息）. Little girls appear to be eager to（希望…）  share and compare interests and ideas. Emphasis is placed on(重视…被动用法哈~) displaying similarities and matching experiences. For them, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport（和谐，友善）:  a way of establishing（后面可加抽象词如relationship~） connection and negotiating relationships. So this view of children’s behavior predicts that more women than men will be comfortable speaking one-on-one(一对一), to individuals. And even when addressing an audience（面对听众，这里address表面对）, women may be more concerned than men with（注意介词哈~与前面的concerned联系） establishing rapport.

Passage 2

Gender stereotypes（性别刻板印象） should concern us（引起我们关注，concern后面可以加人哈~） for several reasons. First, they may dictate(决定) what we notice and bias（使…有偏见） our perceptions in the direction of expectation. Some researchers attempt to（替换try to） elucidate( 说明，解释) gender differences in order to help women and men understand and respond to one another better. In the process, however, their work encourages people to notice and attend to（注意，后加名词~） differences rather than similarities, to perceive（察觉） men and women in accordance with（依照） stereotypes that may not accurately depict（v.描绘,这里可译为表现） their behavior or intentions. Second, gender stereotypes may not only describe behavior but also prescribe（规定） it, dictating how men and women “should” behave. People begin to act in ways that support other people’s gender-role expectations of them.

It is time to rethink our understanding of gender, to move away from the notion（改变观念） that men and women have two contrasting styles of interaction（交际风格） that were acquired in childhood. We need to move from a conceptualization of gender as an attribute（特性） or style of behavior to an understanding of gender as something people do in social interaction. As a noted（著名的） scholar proposes, “None of us is feminine（女子气的） or is masculine（男子气的） or fails to be either of those. In particular contexts（在特定情况下） people do feminine, in others, they do masculine.” People display（展示） contradictory behaviors as they encounter different social norms and pressures.

Some researchers view male-female conversations as cross-cultural communication. The two-cultures approach postulates（v.假定） that difficulties in communication between men and women arise（出现，发生，这个词应该用在作文中哈~） because of a clash of conversational styles（谈话风格的冲突）. But this approach has a number of limitations. First, the coherence of male and female subcultures（n.亚文化）  in childhood has been exaggerated( v.过分夸大). We arrive at a contrasting picture of the cultures of boys and girls only by singling out（挑选出） those children who fit common gender stereotypes and marginalizing（这里表忽视） others. We fail to notice the children who do not fit those stereotypes—for example, boys who excel at（善于，新颖用法哈~） caring for younger siblings or girls who enjoy building things in shop class. Second, although children may choose same sex playmates（n.玩伴） as preferred partners, they interact daily inside and outside school with the opposite sex. Children have countless（数不清的，联系numerous, considerable,替换many神马的~） experiences communicating with people of both sexes: they do not learn to communicate in gender segregated(隔离，这里与前面gender用作合成词) worlds. They learn to display different styles of interaction in different contexts:  they do not learn a single gender-related style. The same child may display dominance(优势) and give orders to a younger playmate but show deference（胆怯） and follow orders from an older friend.