英文翻译: 韶关市简介
Source: Zhihu
(prepared by: alexcwlin; edited by: Adam Lam)

Question:
Hello, Alex. Here's my translation material(cn→en) following.

Being a native English reader, do you feel fluent and understandable when reading it? Will it be too long or not a native style? Thanks（^_^）

Text:
Shaoguan, a mountainous city in Northern Guangdong, boasts a favorable location as it, on the one hand, used to serve as a strategic pass leading to Zhongyuan (the Central Plain) for its enjoying exclusively a site where three provinces, Guangdong, Hunan and Jiangxi meet, and on the other hand, features with a junction between Guangdong and other provinces beyond —— from this city run Beijing-Guangzhou railway, Beijing-Zhuhai expressway, national highways 105, 106, 107, 323, and other railways or expressways either under construction such as Wuhan-Gangzhou railway, or under planning like Shaoguan-Ganzhou railway, Gaungzhou-Lechang (Shaoguan) expressway, and Shaoguan-Ganzhou expressway.

Origin:
韶关市地处粤北山区，与湖南、江西交界，素有“三省通衢”之誉，是古代岭南通往中原的最重要关口，今天更是广东通往内地的交通枢纽——京广铁路、京珠高速公路、国道105线、106线、107线、323线、在建的武广铁路、规划中的韶赣铁路、广乐高速公路和韶赣高速公路均经过韶关。

alexcwlin comments:

Shaoguan is located in the mountainous area of northern Guandong Province where Hunan Province meets Jiangxi Province.

Reputed as the “Three-Province Transportation Hub”, it serves as the strategic pass from Lingnan to Zhongyuan in ancient times and the transportation center where routes from Guandong to inland China congregate nowadays. Such include Beijing-Guangzhou Railway, Beijing-Zhuhai Expressway, Hwy #105, Hwy#106, Hwy#107, Hwy#323, and other projects which are in the works (including Wuhan-Guangzhou Railway, Shaoguan-Ganzhou Railway, Guanzhou-Lechang Expressway, and Shaoguan-Ganzhou Expressway).

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Reader #1:
THX, Alex! You divided it into three sentences rather than one, which is more logic with less words. That’s better clearly. Er,

Do you have any comments or critics about the first version in terms of English Writing Habit?

alexcwlin:
It has a lot of room for improvement. But I can't blame the translator because the Chinese script can be written in a simpler and more logical manner.

Reader #1:
Yeah, exactly, we usually reorganize the less proper Chinese script first just like you do while translating. But what I want to consult from you is that whether the translation is tedious or not. That feeling you know, hhh thanks anyway thanks

alexcwlin:
If you want my honest opinion, the translation is bad, very bad.

English is a very logical language, way more so than Chinese, both structurally and in choice of diction.

The one that you have fails both, miserably.

Reader #1:
That's what I thought Alex. I get your comformation now. I love your honest and direct guidance. [飙泪笑]前面的回答太含蓄了，谢谢谢谢！

Reader #2:
出于好奇，我上网查了一下这篇中文原稿的出处。

这是某个大学的英语专业考试，您看到的原翻译版本是所谓的标准答案，也就是说：不写成那个样子就是低分，不懂英语。

alexcwlin:
See, didn't I tell you. If I were in China, I would fail the translation tests miserably. I don't have 专六/专八. Maybe I am not qualified to teach you guys English and translation.