奥巴马给两个女儿定制的玩具，产自美国彩虹公司。

枫叶小熊的玩具，同样产自美国彩虹公司。

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编者按：作为美国总统的奥巴马大家都了解得很多，但是作为父亲的奥巴马对于我们的事业也许更有帮助，他对自己父亲角色的定位值得我们很多做父母的人学习。所以，本博客编辑了一些相关资料，期待能给大家带来一些反思和收获。

 

父亲的角色在孩子成长中的意义

 

    一些研究表明，父亲陪孩子的时间越多，孩子就越聪明，越容易管教。反过来，长期缺乏父亲陪伴的孩子在推理和大脑发育等方面明显不如父亲经常在身边的同龄孩子。缺少父爱的孩子往往更任性，难以与兄弟姐妹和睦相处，在学校中交不到朋友，而且不愿承认错误。作为总统的奥巴马深明此道，他在繁忙的工作安排中总能抽出时间更好地陪伴孩子，亲自去学校参加家长会，并表示听到老师们对他两个女儿的赞美是他当了总统之后最美妙开心的时刻；他在白宫开烧烤派对，邀请当了父亲的议员们一起庆祝父亲节；他开办“父亲培训班”，鼓励男性们更智慧地担当起做父亲的责任；他给两个女儿写信，表达浓浓的父爱和歉意；他在回答提问的时候表示，当父亲是比当总统更有趣的事情。

 

如何成为好父亲

 

    “我们要承认，还有很多男人举止像个孩子，而他们必须停止这么做了；他们要明白，责任不能只停留在观念上；他们要明白，让自己成为男人的关键因素不是有能力生下孩子，而是有勇气抚养孩子。”

 

    “傻瓜都能生下孩子。能生孩子并不意味你就是一名父亲了，有勇气抚养孩子才是。”

 

    “我们需要停止只想自己的事情，而是要开始倾听。我们需要关上电视机，与我们的孩子们聊聊天，听他们说话，知道他们在生活中遇到了什么。”

 

    这些来自奥巴马的话在一定程度上启发了一些父亲，反思自己在家庭中的角色定位是否准确，并且重新排列个人活动的主次顺序，把担当好父亲的职责放在应酬和赚钱之前，因此有更多孩子从父亲那里得到了更多的温暖和爱。

　　而奥巴马评价自己作为一名父亲表现“远非完美”，但他认为一个好父亲不能用完美或成功来衡量，而需要看他是否“不断努力尝试”。

　　谈到父亲给他第一个篮球，第一次带他去听爵士音乐会，奥巴马说，有时候一些看似平淡的时刻可能最为重要。虽然父亲和他在一起的时间不多，但那些记忆片段永难磨灭。

　　另外，不能光与孩子分享快乐时刻，还要在他们出现问题的时候提供帮助，要显示理解和耐心，也需要一些严厉。

　　奥巴马说，作为父亲，可能会把心思更多放在如何保住工作和房子、支付家庭开销等问题上，怎样在这种情况下做一名好父亲是一个挑战。甚至在富裕家庭也可能出现父亲人在心不在的情况。

　　奥巴马鼓励在场青少年将来勇敢承担起做父亲的责任，不能因为没有得到父爱而让自己的孩子遭到同样不幸。

　　“你们有责任打破这种循环，从错误中汲取教训，在你们父亲摔倒的地方站起来，比他们更好地对待你自己的孩子。那就是我一直努力在做的事。”

 

奥巴马写给女儿们的一封信

亲爱的玛丽亚和莎莎：

 

我知道这2年你们俩随我一路竞选都有过不少乐子，野餐、游行、逛州博览会，吃了各种或许我和你妈不该让你们吃的垃圾食物。然而我也知道，你们俩和你妈的日子，有时候并不惬意。新来的小狗虽然令你们兴奋，却无法弥补我们不在一起的所有时光。我明白这2年我错过的太多了，今天我要再向你们说说为何我决定带领我们一家走上这趟旅程。

 

当我还年轻的时候，我认为生活就该绕着我转：我如何在这世上得心应手，成功立业，得到我想要的。后来，你们俩进入了我的世界，带来的种种好奇、淘气和微笑，总能填满我的心，照亮我的日子。突然之间，我为自己谱写的伟大计划显得不再那么重要了。我很快便发现，我在你们生命中看到的快乐，就是我自己生命中最大的快乐。而我也同时体认到，如果我不能确保你们此生能够拥有追求幸福和自我实现的一切机会，我自己的生命也没多大价值。总而言之，我的女儿，这就是我竞选总统的原因：我要让你们俩和这个国家的每一个孩子，都能拥有我想要给他们的东西。

 

我要让所有儿童都在能够发掘他们潜能的学校就读；这些学校要能挑战他们，激励他们，并灌输他们对身处的这个世界的好奇心。我要他们有机会上大学，那怕他们的父母并不富有。而且，我要他们能找到好的工作：薪酬高还附带健康保险的工作，让他们有时间陪孩子、并且能带着尊严退休的工作。

 

我要大家向发现的极限挑战，让你在有生之年能够看见改善我们生活、使这个行星更干净、更安全的新科技和发明。我也要大家向自己的人际界限挑战，跨越使我们看不到对方长处的种族、地域、性别和宗教樊篱。

 

有时候为了保护我们的国家，我们不得不把青年男女派到战场或其他危险的地方，然而当我们这么做的时候，我要确保师出有名，我们尽了全力以和平方式化解与他人的争执，也想尽了一切办法保障男女官兵的安全。我要每个孩子都明白，这些勇敢的美国人在战场上捍卫的福祉是无法平白得到的：在享有作为这个国家公民的伟大特权之际，重责大任也随之而来。

 

这正是我在你们这年纪时，外婆想要教我的功课，她把独立宣言开头几行念给我听，告诉我有一些男女为了争取平等挺身而出游行抗议，因为他们认为2个世纪前白纸黑字写下来的这些句子，不应只是空话。

 

她让我了解到，美国所以伟大，不是因为它完美，而是因为我们可以不断让它变得更好，而让它更好的未竟工作，就落在我们每个人的身上。这是我们交给孩子们的责任，每过一代，美国就更接近我们的理想。

 

我希望你们俩都愿接下这个工作，看到不对的事要想办法改正，努力帮助别人获得你们有过的机会。这并非只因国家给了我们一家这么多，你们也当有所回馈，虽然你们的确有这个义务，而是因为你们对自己负有义务。因为，唯有在把你的马车套在更大的东西上时，你才会明白自己真正的潜能有多大。

 

这些是我想要让你们得到的东西：在一个梦想不受限制、无事不能成就的世界中长大，长成具慈悲心、坚持理想，能帮忙打造这样一个世界的女性。我要每个孩子都有和你们一样的机会，去学习、梦想、成长、发展。这就是我带领我们一家展开这趟大冒险的原因。

 

我深以你俩为荣，你们永远不会明白我有多爱你们，在我们准备一同在白宫开始新生活之际，我没有一天不为你们的忍耐、沉稳、明理和幽默而心存感激。

 

爱你们的爸爸

 

Dear Malia and Sasha,

 

I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.

 

When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me-about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.

 

I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential-schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college-even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.

 

I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.

 

Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country-but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free-that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.

 

That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something.

 

She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better-and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.

 

I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much-although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.

 

These are the things I want for you-to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure.

 

I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.

 

Love, Dad