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读《瓦尔登湖》翻译(六十九)

(2018-12-09 09:31:10)
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教育

分类: 瓦尔登湖

I took down this dwelling the same morning, drawing the nails, and removed it to the pond-side by small cartloads, spreading the boards on the grass there to bleach and warp back again in the sun. One early thrush gave me a note or two as I drove along the woodland path. I was informed treacherously by a young Patrick that neighbor Seeley, an Irishman, in the intervals of the carting, transferred the still tolerable, straight, and drivable nails, staples, and spikes to his pocket, and then stood when I came back to pass the time of day , and look freshly up, unconcerned, with spring thoughts, at the devastation; there being a dearth of work, as he said. He was there to represent spectatordom, and help make this seemingly insignificant event one with the removal of the gods of Troy.

(徐迟译) 这同一天的早晨,我就拆卸这棚屋,拔下钉子,用小车把木板搬运到湖滨,放在草地上,让太阳再把它们晒得发白并且恢复原来的形状。一只早起的画眉在我驾车经过林中小径时,送来了一个两个乐音。 年轻人派屈里克却恶意地 告诉我,一个爱尔兰邻居叫西莱的,在装车的间隙把还可以用的、直的、可以钉的钉子,骑马钉和大钉放进了自己的口袋,等我回去重新抬起头来,满不在乎、 全身春意盎然地 看着那一堆废墟的时候,他就站在那儿,正如他说的,没有多少工作可做。他在那里代表观众,使这琐屑不足道的事情看上去 更像是特洛伊城众神的撤离。

1. I was informed treacherously by a young Patrick …… ”。英语注释中说 Common name for an Irishman, similar to John Bull for an Englishman. 这么说来,就不能把 Patrick 译得像是这个年轻人的名字一样。另外, treacherously 一词的翻译也值得细究。

2. transferred …… to his pocket ”徐译“ 放进了自己的口袋 ”戴译“ 拣到了自己的口袋里 ”可以说都没有把“ transferred ”这个大词“从一地到另一地”的意思表达出来。

3. to pass the time of day (with sb) ”这个短语徐译戴译中都漏掉了。字典中是这样解释的“ to say hello to someone and have a short talk with them ”。

4. look freshly up ”中的“ freshly ”两位译者也都没有译出来。

5.   unconcerned, with spring thoughts, at the devastation ”去掉中间的插入部分,“ unconcerned at the devastation ”就更清楚了。“ with spring thoughts ”译成“ 全身春意盎然地 ”“ 得意洋洋地 ”怕是不恰当。目前,我也拿不出正确的译文来。

6. help make this seemingly insignificant event one with the removal of the gods of Troy ”。这里的“ removal ”应该不是“撤离”。

详注版上注释为“ Possible allusion to the theft of the sacred image of Pallas Athena from Troy by the Greeks Odysseus and Diomedes, after they learned that the city could not be taken as long as it remained there, or perhaps to the rescue by Aeneas of his household gods. ”无论是“ theft ”还是“ rescue ”都不是“撤离。
 

另一版本中有个 study note: This is an example of his mock-heroic humor (the thieves we will always have with us!). 这里也说是指“ theft ”,与文章里的偷钉子的爱尔兰人相对比。


        (戴欢译) 在这个早晨,我就拆散了这小木屋,拔除了钉子,用小推车将木板运到了湖畔,将它们摊在草地上,让太阳再把它们晒干,恢复原状。在我推着小车行走在林间小道时,一只早起的画眉送给我一声一声鸣啼。 年轻人帕特里克幸灾乐祸地 告诉我,那个爱尔兰邻居西利趁我装东西的间隙,将仍可一用的钉子、直钉、骑马钉和大钉都 拣到 了自己的口袋里。待我干完活回到这小木屋时,我看到那爱尔兰小子站在那里,一脸的满不在乎,昂着头 得意洋洋地 望着这一堆废弃物。正如他所声称的,已经没有多少油水可捞了,他在那儿代表旁观者。这不足挂齿的拆迁小事,看起来 犹如众神从特洛伊城废墟撤离一般

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