Dating, engaged, married…or just single and want to get to know yourself a little better…these are all great questions and conversations to have with your significant other.

谈恋爱，订婚，结婚,还是单身的你想了解自己？这些是你和另一半讨论的绝好问题。

 

Sex/Romance/Love

关于性、浪漫和爱情

If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left?

如果去掉所有身体上的吸引力，我们俩之间还剩下什么？

What is the best way for me to show that I love you?

表达“我爱你”最好的方式是什么？

If I put on weight, will it affect our sexual relationship? How?

如果我变胖了，会影响我们俩的性爱吗？如何影响？

Is it important for you to know that I’m a virgin? Why or why not?

我是处女（处男）对你重要吗？为什么？

What do I do that causes you to question my love?

我做什么样的事情，会让你怀疑我的爱？

What turns you off sexually?

什么事情会让你一下子没有性致了？             

How would our relationship be affected if for medical reasons we could not have children?

如果我们无法生育，我们的关系会受影响吗？

Do you think being in love means: (1) Never having to say you’re sorry, (2) Always having to say you’re sorry, (3) Knowing when to say you’re sorry, or (4) Being the first to say I’m sorry?

你认为相爱的 人应该：（1）永远不用互相道歉；（2）还是应该经常道歉；（3）知道什么时候应该道歉；（4）知道先道歉

 

The Past

关于过去

Which childhood experiences influence your behavior and attitude the most?

你认为儿时什么经历对你的三观和行为影响最大？

Could any feelings of affection and romance be revived if you met a previous boyfriend/girlfriend even though you feel strongly committed to me?

即便你现在很喜欢我，假如你遇见一个前男友/女友，你会感到某种感情/好感死灰复燃吗？

Is there anything in your past I should be aware of?

你的过去，有什么我需要知道的地方？

What did you dislike the most about your previous partners?

你对前任最大的不满是什么？

If your past boyfriends/girlfriends listed your most negative characteristics, what would they be?

如果你的前任对你的缺点列个清单，你觉得是什么？

Do you keep letters and memorabilia from past relationships? Why or why not?

你会留下上一段感情的书信和纪念物吗？为什么？

Are you comfortable continuing this relationship if there are things in my past that I am not willing to share with you?

如果我对过去有所保留，你还会愿意毫无芥蒂和我继续吗？

Have you ever been involved in any criminal activities? What were they?

你以前有犯罪经历吗？

Did your mother or father abuse each other or you in any way- sexually, emotionally, or physically?

你的父母曾经虐对过对方，或者虐待过你吗？包括肉体上，和感情上？

Have you ever been able to overcome a bad habit? What was it?

你曾经戒除过任何坏习惯吗？你怎么戒除的？

Have you ever been violent in past relationships?

你曾经在恋爱中或婚姻中动过手吗？

 

Trust

关于信任

Have there been times when you were uncomfortable with the way I behaved with the opposite sex? If so, when and what did I do?

我对异性做的哪些事情，或者说得哪些话让你不舒服？如果有这种情况，是什么时候，因为什么？

 

What do I do now or what could I do in the future that would make you mistrust me?

未来，我做什么会让你不相信我？

Would you be comfortable transferring all your money into my bank account?

把你所有的钱都汇入我的账户，你会不舒服吗？

Who comes first, your spouse or your children?

我和孩子，谁比较重要？

Is trust automatic until something occurs that takes it away, or does it evolve over time?

信任是一种默认设置，还是需要常常修正的呢？

Do you trust me with money?

你对我管钱，放心么？

Is it permissible for us to open each other’s mail?

我俩互相拆对方的信（包括电邮），可以吗？

 

The Future

关于未来

How are we different? Could this be a source of future conflict? Do our differences complement each other?

我们俩不同点在哪里？这些会成为以后的矛盾嘛？我们的不同能互补吗？

Do you anticipate maintaining your single lifestyle after we are married? That is, will you spend just as much time with your friends, family and work colleagues? Why or why not?

你准备好改变你的单身生活方式了吗？也就是说，你还会和以前一样分配时间吗？给朋友，给家人，给同事，你打算用多少时间，怎么办？

How did your family resolve conflicts when you were growing up? Do you approve or disapprove of that method? what will you change or not change to resolve conflicts in your future family?

在你成长过程中，你的家人都说怎么解决矛盾的？你同意这种解决模式吗？你希望改变这些模式吗？

Is there anything about marriage that frightens you?

关于婚姻，你有哪些恐惧的地方？

Would you prefer to live in the city, the country, or by the beach? Why?

你是想在城市，乡下，还是海边生活？

 

If I wanted to move away from our families for work, would you support me?

如果我想搬家，离开现在的双方家人去外地工作，你会支持吗？

How would it affect you if I travel on my own frequently to (1) visit family, (2) earn income, (3) pursue a hobby, or (4) deal with stress?

如果我总是出门去（1）娘家；（2）挣钱；（3）因为某种爱好；（4）解压，你会受影响吗？

Suppose we are experiencing trouble in our marriage. In what order will you seek help from the following to resolve our conflicts: (1) divorce lawyer, (2) your parents, (3) a brother or sister (4) a marriage counselor, (5) me, (6) a church leader? Why?

如果我们俩婚姻有麻烦，以下的人里面，你寻求意见的顺序是：（1）离婚律师；（2）你父母；（3）兄弟姐妹；（4）婚姻顾问；（5）我；(6)神父。为什么是这个顺序？

How will you support my hobbies?

你会支持我的兴趣爱好吗？

How do you feel about having our parents come to live with us if the need arises?

如果有需要，你对双方父母和我们一起住怎么看待？

Is there anything you would regret not being able to do or accomplish if you married me?

你娶了我，导致有什么事情你不能完成吗？你后悔吗？

How will we schedule holidays with our families?

逢年过节，我们回双方家庭看望的日程，我们怎么计划？

 

Children

关于孩子

If we are unable to have children, should we adopt?

如果我们没法要孩子，我们应该收养吗？

Do you anticipate raising our children (1) the same way you were raised (2) completely differently from the way you were raised (3) a mixture of both?

你希望我们怎么教育孩子？（1）像你父母养育你一样；（2）换种方式；（3）结合新旧方式

How long would you like to wait before having children?

你打算等多久要孩子？

Other than formal schooling, what types of education will our children get and how will they receive them?

除了学校教育，你还希望我们的孩子得到什么教育？怎么让他们得到这些？

When we have children, who will change the diapers, heat the bottles, prepare the meals, do the housework, bathe the child, get up in the middle of the night when a child is crying, take the child to the doctor, buy clothing, and dress the child?

当我们有了孩子，谁负责换尿布，热奶瓶，做饭，做家务，给孩子洗澡，半夜起床哄孩子，带孩子看病，给孩子买衣服穿衣服？

What types of discipline would you implement to correct a child’s or a teenager’s behavior? Were these practices you experiences or are they new ones you have developed on your own?

假如孩子不听话，你怎么管教？这些管教方法是你自己的经历，还是你自己琢磨出来的？

 

 

Annoyances

关于小恶习

If I had bad breath or body odor or wear dirty clothes, will you tell me? Should I tell you? Why or why not? How should we do it?

如果你有口臭，体臭，或者穿了脏衣服，你会告诉我吗？我该告诉你吗？为什么？我们该怎么提醒对方？

What is nagging? Do I nag? How does it make you feel?

对于你来说，什么是絮叨？我絮叨吗？ 你对此什么感受？
DO you approve without reservation of the way I dress?

你会对我穿衣方式毫无保留的赞同吗？

What does my family do that annoys you?

我家人招你讨厌吗？什么地方？

Would it bother you if I made body noises all the time, like passing gas or burping?

如果我放屁打嗝，你会嫌烦吗？

Is there anything you do in your line of work that I would disapprove of or that would hurt me?

你工作中有哪些事情，我知道了会很不赞同，或者伤害我？

Do you believe that you should stick with a marriage if you are unhappy all the time?

如果在婚姻中总是得不到快乐，你还会坚守婚姻吗？

When do you need space away from me?

什么时候，你需要离开我静一静？

 

Communication

关于交流

Whenever we have difficult feelings about each other, should we (1) remain silent, (2) say something as soon as the difficult feelings arise, (3) wait a certain amount of time before raising the issue, or (4) do something else? If so, what?

当我们对对方有意见时，我们应该（1）保持沉默；（2）赶快解决；（3）等一段时间再解决；（4）其他

If you always say you are going to do something but never do it, what is the most effective way to bring this problem to your attention?

如果你承诺做一件事，但是你老不做，那么提醒你最有效的方式是啥？

What did you admire about the way your mother and father treated each other?

对你父母相处的方式，你最欣赏的地方是？

What is the best way for me to communicate difficult feelings about you so that you are not offended?

如果我对你有意见，什么方法让你会觉得可以接受，不受伤害？

Who should know bout the arguments we have?

我们吵架了，你认为你会告诉谁？

What makes you not want to talk to me?

什么事情会让你不想跟我说话？

Do you feel you could communicate with me under any circumstance and about any subject?

你觉得，不论遇见什么情况，不论什么事情，你都可以和我交流吗？

 

Finance

关于金钱

What justifies going into debt?

在什么情况下，我们可以负债？

What are all your current personal debts?

你目前有什么负债？

Do you feel stress when facing financial problems? How do you deal with that stress?

如果缺钱，你感到压力大吗？你怎么缓解这个压力？

How often do you use credit cards, and what do you buy with them?

你经常用信用卡吗？你买什么？

How should we prepare for a financial emergency?

我们怎么样在金钱上未雨绸缪？

Do you feel that lack of money is a good reason not to have children?

你认为，经济条件不够，是不要孩子的充足理由吗？

When our child is born, will he or she go to daycare or will one of us stay home to take care of the child? Who will it be?

如果有了孩子，我们送他去幼儿园，还是一个人辞去工作照顾？谁照顾？

Will we have a budget?

我们要制定预算吗？

Who will pay the bills?

谁负责日常开支？

How do you feel about helping me pay my debts?

如果你替我还贷，你怎么考虑？

What are your feelings about saving money?

你对储蓄是怎么看的？

Do you prefer separate bank accounts or assets in different names? Why?

你是喜欢分开账户，还是合并账户？为什么？

 

Miscellaneous

七七八八

How would you rank all the priorities in your life: work, school, family, spouse, friends, hobbies, and chuch? Does your ranking reflect the amount of time you spend on each?

你对人生中重要的事物怎么排序呢？工作，教育，家庭，配偶，朋友，兴趣和信仰？你的排序和你花的时间一致吗？

Are you closer to your mother or father? Why?

你是和你爸爸亲，还是和你妈妈亲？为什么？

Do you prefer a set daily work schedule or flexible work activities and timetables?

你喜欢弹性工作，还是朝九晚五？

What do you fear?

你惧怕什么？

What influence, if any, do you believe my family should have on our relationship?

你觉得你的家庭对我们的关系有什么影响？

Do you believe that our parents should know our financial condition, whether good or bad, just because they want to? How far should this go?

你觉得我们双方的父母应该知道我俩的财政情况吗？不管好还是坏？这种知情，到什么限度？

What are your views on pornography?

你对看A片什么态度？

How would you react if our son or daughter told us they were gay?

如果我们孩子告诉我们她是同志，你怎么反应？

Do you harbor any racial prejudice?

你有种族偏见不？（不适应中国国情）

How do you feel about having guns in our home?

你觉得家里应该有枪吗？（不适应中国国情）

Is there anyone close to you who feels we should not get married? Why? Should we this?

有没有任何和你很亲的人觉得我们不该结婚？为什么？

What health problems do you have?

你有健康上的问题吗？

Have you ever had any psychological problems?

你曾经有心理问题吗？

When you are in a bad mood, how should I deal with it?

如果你不高兴，我该怎么做？

Do you like pets?

你喜欢宠物吗？