加载中…2013年07月28日
(2013-07-28 07:51:09)
1. Before prom, your parents had stern
words for your date:
高中毕业舞会前，你父母对你男伴三令五申
2. On vacations, your parents took photos
like this:
You laughed, rolled your eyes, but years later you realize you
should’ve taken more photos of them.
度假时候，你父母撅着屁屁各种拍照。你笑了，翻白眼了，但是多少年以后，你想，当时我为啥没给他们照相呢？
3. They did this at the fruit aisle:
在超市买水果，总是拍。。。
4. And ordered hot water at
restaurants.
去餐厅，点热水。。。。
5. They coached you on starving before a
buffet and gorging only on rib eye and lobsters. Seafood-phobes
were deadweight in buffet Olympics.
他们训练你，吃自助，一定要‘扶墙进，扶墙出’。一定要盯着牛排和龙虾吃。海鲜过敏的，吃巴菲你就输了！
6. When the bill came, older relatives
fought, i.e., yelled and screamed in the middle of the restaurant,
for the right to pay.
账单一来，大叔大妈们沸腾了，在餐厅中间争抢吵嚷，就是为了抢着付账。。。
7. Some distant cousin or family friend’s
son/daughter is always being trotted out as a paragon of perfection
that you’re falling short of.
总有一个远亲家的表哥表姐，成为宇宙无敌的牛人，你在他（她）面前就是个二货。。。
8. When you got sick, your parents fed you
bitter herbal brews, or sent you to weird bruising traditional
treatments:
如果你病了，你爸妈给你苦的草药汤，还有很奇怪‘传统疗法’，弄完身上都是淤青。。。。
9. Your mom’s always convinced it’s too
cold without a jacket outside.
你妈总觉得，不穿外套，怎么可以呢？！！！冻死了！！！
10. Your relatives stuffed you with awesome
food. And they didn’t hesitate to comment when your waistline
ballooned.
你的亲戚们总拿各种好吃的诱惑你。然后毫不留情的评论：“**，腰围又雄伟了！”
11. You ate savory breakfasts littered with
jarred pickles. Rice was always involved.
咱的早饭丰富多彩，还总有米饭~~~
12. When they visited you, they always
crashed on some relative’s couch, or kicked you out of your own
bed.
They were convinced hotels were a rip-off.
他们来看你，总是挤在沙发上，或者你挤在沙发上。总之，住宾馆，太不值了！
13. The remote control is wrapped in
plastic wrap.
遥控器外面，卷了保鲜膜。。。。
14. For a household that was low on luxury,
there were a lot of foot massagers, back massagers, massage
hammers, and massage accessories.
家里别的奢侈品倒不多，就是充满了足疗器，按摩椅，按摩器。。。。。各种按摩设施。。。
15. Your mom put fluffy dried pork into
your sandwiches, and your friends said it looked like hair.
你妈总往你三文治里夹肉松，你的金发朋友说。。。像头发。。。。
16. Your fridge was packed with jars whose
labels never matched the food within.
You also saved every jar to store pickled stuff.
家里总有瓶瓶罐罐，内容和标签不符。而且，每个瓶子用完不能扔，还要做各种腌菜。。。
17. You only had bowls. No plates.
家里有碗，无盘子
洗碗机，从来不用，就是用来晾碗筷
19. In the drawers were free napkins, cups,
utensils, and mini shampoo bottles your parents hoarded from
hotels.
Also shower caps, though no one in your family has ever used one
before.
家里的抽屉里，必然有你父母从酒店里拿回来的免费的餐巾纸，杯子，餐具，小瓶的洗发水。而且还有酒店里拿回来的浴帽，虽然家里根本没人用这个玩意。。。。
20. Saturdays, you studied your parents’
native tongues. Sundays, you practiced an instrument. Your dad was
rad if he let you pick the guitar.
星期六，得去学中文，星期天，得去学乐器。但是你要敢玩吉他，你爸就疯了。。。。
21. Your friends were always wondering why
your parents were arguing. That’s just how they speak.
你朋友总觉得你父母在吵架。。。但其实他们说话就是这个音量。。。
22. Everyone was your aunt or uncle, but
you had no idea if they were actually related to you.
所有人都是你阿姨叔叔，你也不知道是否有亲戚关系。.....(指中国人不直呼长辈名）
23. You know what durians smell like.
你知道榴莲啥味道
人们总以为，学校里另一个姓李姓张的是你亲戚。。。。
25. Nothing will stop your aunts from
trying to set you up with royal bores with Ivy League degrees.
“Mom, we have nothing in common.” “But she’s a doctor from Harvard!”
你七大姑八大姨总是想办法给你搞各种相亲活动，而且对方一定是藤校出来的极其无聊的人。“妈！我们俩不合适！”
“但人家是哈佛的博士！！！！！”
26. Every year, you got money in red
envelopes on New Year’s.
过年啦！红信封里总有钱！！！
27. Finally: Your parents gave you
everything they had and spent nothing on themselves. They know
firsthand the dangers of the world, and their work isn’t done until
they see you settled and safe.
最后，你的父母给你付出了所有，自己从来不舍得花钱。他们知道这个世界的凶险，所以没看见你成家立业，百事无忧，这心就算没操完。
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