日本大地震留下的满目疮痍震惊了整个世界。电视，报纸，网络上刊登的那些骇人照片连大人看了都会恐惧，更别说孩子了。那在发生自然灾害和其他恐怖事件时，妈妈们要怎样解释，才能让孩子不害怕呢？

来自美国的Paul Coleman博士为我们找出了最佳答案。他是美国畅销育儿书籍How to Say It to Your Child When Bad Things Happen（《当悲剧发生时如何向孩子解释》）一书的作者。

Coleman博士建议，妈妈们最好等到宝宝7岁左右时再和他们谈这个话题，而且只在宝宝问的时候才谈。“孩子们会从电视上，学校里了解到一些恐怖信息，这个时候你不得不向他们做出解释，但如果孩子太小，就无法理解这一切”。

Wait until they're older. Until around age 7, Dr. Coleman suggests only addressing the tough stuff if kids bring it up first. "They might see it on TV or hear about it at school (or heaven forbid even witness it), and then you have to deal with it. But younger children might not be able to handle it well," says Dr. Coleman.

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是的，这个世界的确存在许多骇人听闻的恐怖事件。但小孩子是无法接受这一事实的。因此，你需要给宝宝吃定心丸。可以直接告诉他，这样的事是不会发生在他身上的。你可能会觉得自己是个骗子，因为没人能对未来有100%的把握，但概率估算肯定不是小孩子所能理解的，而且这也安慰不了他。

Keep it black and white. Yes, the world can be a cruel place, but little kids, well, can't handle the truth."Younger kids need to be reassured that this isn't happening to them and won't happen to them," says Dr. Coleman. Parents may feel like they're lying, since no one can ever be 100% sure of what the future holds, but probability estimates are not something small kids can grasp, and won't comfort them.

不要假定自己是知道宝宝的感受的。相反，你要真正了解他对某件事的真实感受。“他或许感到非常恐惧，或许只是好奇，你应该主动问一些问题来了解他的真实想法，比如，你可以问“你都听到了什么？ 你是怎么想的呢”，Coleman博士说，“如果他被吓坏了，那你可以问问他都害怕些什么——不要以为你对宝宝了如指掌，要知道他的小脑袋瓜里经常会冒出些莫名其妙的逻辑，比如，他在电视上看到一幢大厦倒塌了，他很有可能会以为，那就是你办公的写字楼。要及时纠正宝宝的错误想法，然后安慰他，让他觉得有安全感”。

Ask questions. Don't assume you know how they feel. Instead, get at their understanding of what happened. "They might be afraid -- or just curious. You have to ascertain that by asking things like 'What did you hear? What do you think?'" says Dr. Coleman. "If they are scared, ask what they're afraid of - don't assume you know. They could be using twisted logic, like they see a building collapse on TV and think it's Mommy's office building. Correct any misconceptions, and then offer assurance."

让宝宝知道，他的情感是正常的。不要让他觉得，感到害怕是很丢人的。

Don't label feelings as wrong. Let them know that their feelings make sense, and that it's ok to feel whatever they're feeling. Never make them feel bad about being scared.

和宝宝谈论灾难事件既可以让他学习如何帮助他人，也可以激发他的同情心。你可以和宝宝谈论向某个救援组织捐款捐物的事，或将这件事与你周围的人联系起来，比如，你可以说，“这让我想到了腿有残疾的史密斯太太，她推着轮椅在大街上一定很辛苦，或许我们可以给她做些好吃的”。

Use it as a teaching moment. Talking about bad things can lead to discussions about how to help others, and gives parents an opportunity to model compassion. Talk about donating to a relief organization, or make the message even more personal. "You can say, 'It makes me think of Mrs. Smith in a wheelchair down the road - maybe we should make her a pot roast,'" says Dr. Coleman.

对孩子说实话，但同时让他明白，现时和他的想象不一样

有时，悲剧就发生在我们身边，而你也无法让宝宝免糟伤害。如果你的某位朋友和亲人离世，而你又不得不将这个不幸的消息告诉孩子，该怎么办呢？Coleman博士的建议是，你可以对孩子直言不讳，但一定要让他看到，已经发生的事和他们害怕发生的事是有区别的。比如，你可以这样对孩子说，“奶奶年纪很大很大了，她病得很重，但妈妈没有啊”，让孩子看到，你和死去的那个人是有区别的，这样他就会知道，妈妈就在身边，她哪儿都不会去。

When Tragedy Affects Someone Your Kids Know

Sometimes tragedy strikes closer to home, and there's no way to shield your kids. If you're dealing with the death of a friend or family member, be truthful about it, but offer some separation between what happened and what they fear might happen. "Say 'Grandma was very old and very sick, but I'm not,'" says Dr. Coleman. "Distinguish yourself clearly from that person so your child can rest comfortably knowing Mommy's not going anywhere."