Message of the Land
Pira Sudham
Yes,
these are our rice fields. They belonged to my parents and
forefathers. The land is more than three centuries old. I'm the
only daughter in our family and it was I who stayed with my parents
till they died. My three brothers moved out to their wives' houses
when they got married. My husband moved into our house as is the
way with us in Esarn. I was then eighteen and he was nineteen. He
gave me six children. Two died in infancy from sickness. The rest,
two boys and two girls, went away as soon as we could afford to buy
jeans for them. Our oldest son got a job as a gardener in a rich
man's home in Bangkok but later an employment agency sent him to a
foreign land to work. My other son also went far away.
One of
our daughters is working in a textile factory in Bangkok, and the
other has a job in a store. They come home to see us now and then,
stay a few days, and then they are off again. Often they send some
money to us and tell us that they are doing well. I know this is
not always true. Sometimes, they get bullied and insulted, and it
is like a knife piercing my heart. It's easier for my husband. He
has ears which don't hear, a mouth which doesn't speak, and eyes
that don't see. He has always been patient and silent, minding his
own life.
All of
them remain my children in spite of their long absence. Maybe it's
fate that sent them away from us. Our piece of land is small, and it is no longer fertile,
bleeding year after year and, like us, getting old and exhausted.
Still my husband and I work on this land. The soil is not difficult
to till when there is a lot of rain, but in a bad year, it's not
only the ploughs that break but our hearts, too.
No, we
two haven't changed much, but the village has. In what way? Only
ten years ago, you could barter for things, but now it's all cash.
Years ago, you could ask your neighbors to help build your house,
reap the rice or dig a well. Now they'll do it only if you have
money to pay them. Plastic things replace village crafts. Men used
to make things with fine bamboo pieces, but no longer. Plastic bags
litter the village. Shops have sprung up, filled with colorful
plastic things and goods we have no use for. The young go away to
towns and cities leaving us old people to work on the land. They
think differently, I know, saying that the old are old-fashioned.
All my life, I have never had to go to a hairdresser, or to paint
my lips or nails. These rough fingers and toes are for working in
the mud of our rice fields, not for looking pretty. Now young girls
put on jeans, and look like boys and they think it is fashionable.
Why, they are willing to sell their pig or water buffalo just to be
able to buy a pair of jeans. In my day, if I were to put on a pair
of trousers like they do now, lightning would strike me.
I know,
times have changed, but certain things should not change. We should
offer food to the monks every day, go to the temple regularly.
Young people tend to leave these things to old people now, and
that's a shame.
Why, only
the other day I heard a boy shout and scream at his mother. If that
kind of thing had happened when I was young, the whole village
would have condemned such an ungrateful son, and his father would
surely have given him a good beating.
As for
me, I wouldn't change, couldn't change even if I wanted to. Am I
happy or unhappy? This question has never occurred to me. Life
simply goes on. Yes, this bag of bones dressed in rags can still
plant and reap rice from morning till dusk. Disease, wounds,
hardship and scarcity have always been part of my life. I don't
complain.
The
farmer: My wife is wrong. My eyes do see—they see more than they
should. My ears do hear—they hear more than is good for me. I don't
talk about what I know because I know too much. I know for example,
greed, anger, and lust are the root of all evils.
I am at
peace with the land and the conditions of my life. But I feel a
great pity for my wife. I have been forcing silence upon her all
these years, yet she has not once complained of anything.
I wanted
to have a lot of children and grandchildren around me but now
cities and foreign lands have attracted my children away and it
seems that none of them will ever come back to live here again. To
whom shall I give these rice fields when I die? For hundreds of
years this strip of land has belonged to our family. I know every
inch of it. My children grew up on it, catching frogs and mud crabs
and gathering flowers. Still the land could not tie them down or
call them back. When each of them has a pair of jeans, they are off
like birds on the wing.
Fortunately, my wife is still with me, and both of us are still
strong. Wounds heal over time. Sickness comes and goes, and we get
back on our feet again. I never want to leave this land. It's nice
to feel the wet earth as my fingers dig into the soil, planting
rice, to hear my wife sighing, "Old man, if I die first, I shall
become a cloud to protect you from the sun." It's good to smell the
scent of ripening rice in November. The soft cool breeze moves the
sheaves, which ripple and shimmer like waves of gold. Yes, I love
this land and I hope one of my children comes back one day to live,
and gives me grandchildren so that I can pass on the land's secret
messages to them.
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