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老婆的姐妹免费

(2014-06-12 01:40:28)
标签:

女婿

丈母娘

姐妹

笑话

分类: 美国生活
看到一则搬家车库特卖广告,其中请注意 Sister-in-law  Free, 就是老婆的姐妹免费,为什么免费呢,因为是累赘,麻烦啊,所以免费,不要钱,甩的越快越远越好。

老婆的姐妹免费

在美国,女婿和丈母娘,还有老婆的姐妹关系很不好。蔡澜也写过女婿和丈母娘的笑话。我来翻译一则成人笑话:
诱惑
故事大意就是我和一个女孩子谈恋爱,谈了一年多,她是我的女神,我们决定结婚。我的父母亲和朋友帮我很多忙。

只是一件事一直困扰着我,就是我准老婆的妹妹,她二十岁,穿着身材暴露的衣服,经常在靠近我时故意低着身子,我可以看到她的底裤。她肯定是故意这么做的,因为她对别人不这么做。

有一天这个妹妹打电话要我过去确认宾客名单。等我到了她家,发现只有她一人。她跟我说,我对你一直很有感觉和欲望,你马上就要结婚了,所以我不想再压制这种欲望了,今天我们就做一次,过了这次,你就好好对待我姐姐。
我听了目瞪口呆僵住了。
她说,我先去我房间,我在上面等着你。
我完全蒙住了,不知道该怎么办才好。她上了楼梯,在楼梯口,把她的底裤脱下来并扔到我身上。

我愣了一会,决定走出大门去我的车。
在门口,准岳父大人热泪盈眶,抱着我说,我们很开心,你通过了这个小测试。我女儿嫁给你真是嫁对人了。欢迎你成为我家的一个成员。

这个故事告诉我们,永远把安全套放在车里。


Temptation

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn’t overcome and didn’t really want to overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn’t say a word.

She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me.” I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.

My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, “We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”

The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car!


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