"Of all the misconceptions about love, the most powerful and pervasive is the belief that falling in love is love or at least one of the manifestations of love."

                                                                                                                              ---- M. SCOTT PECK

 

People who are married or in committed relationships are healthier, wealtheir, and happier. So why do more than 60 percent of marriages end in divorce?  Why has the national divorce rate climbed more than 200 percent in the last thirty years?  And why are fewer people getting married today than ever before?

 

The answers to these questions are plentiful, but the main reason is simple.  It's easy to " fall" in love, but few people know how to stay in love.  Even though staying in love is our " smartest" choice all the way around!  Recent studies on marriage prove it's one of the major ingredients in life-long success for men and women.  Marriage has also been found to boost happiness, reduce the degree of depression, and provide protection from sexually transmitted diseases.

 

One of the most startling pieces of evidence that shows people are not in touch with what's really going on in their partnerships is the fact that the majority of people who file a divorce say they didn't think there was a relationship threatening problem just six months prior to breaking up.  Another shocker is that most couples wait six years or more to see professional help when their relationship is in danger.

 

Truely there is no reason to resign yourself to a bad relationship?  Wether you' re dating or married.  Rather than changing partners and ending up this same predicament again.  You can learn to have a fabulous relationship with the partner you already have!  I strongly encourge you to make the relationship you have work, because there is a higer rate of divorce and adultery in second marriages.

 

Getting rid of your partner does not get ird of the problem, because half of the "problem" is yours.  You can walk out on your marriage, but you can't run away from yourself, no matter how hard you try!  Rather than blaming each other, couples can learn how to work as a team and coach each other through the troubled times and power struggles.  To do this, you must creat a " safe" realtionship so you can express your needs and fears and effectively resolve anger and conflict.

 

More relationships break up because people don't know how to validate each other than for any other reason.  This i truly a shame, because the skills for " fighting fair" are very easy to master with just a little paractice and patience.

 

One of the biggest causes of unresolved anger between people is a lack of understanding.  Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses, different ways of expressing ourselves, and different " childhood wounds" that we're trying to heal.  While it may seem like we're from different planets we are actually very much alike when it comes to our need and desire for love and intimacy.  We only behave differently in our quest for closeness.  Stop doing what you think is" fair" or " right" and start doing what works!  It's not about " working harder", it's about " working smarter".

 

The meaning of 26 letters

A-- Accept / Appriciate          B---Belief        C-- Care/ Condone       D--- Digest         E-- Enjoy          F-- Freedom        G-- Give / Grow          H-- Heart        

I-- Independence/ Introspective

J--- Jealousy         K-- Kiss          L--  Love        M---Mature        N---Natural      O--Observe         P---Protect / Passion     Q-- Quarter      R-- Receive / Respect

S-- Share              T-- Tender/ Trust         U-- Understand       V--Veracity       W-- Wait           X--- X          Y---Yearn           Z--Zest