本文原创，未经许可，不得转载。

2^nd C-E Translation Workshop Report

第2次翻译工作坊报告

by Isabella

Source Text原文:

剪纸是中国最为流行的传统民间艺术形式之一。中国剪纸有一千五百多年的历史，在明朝和清朝时期特别流行。人们常用剪纸美化居家环境。特别是在春节和婚庆期间，剪纸被用来装饰门窗和房间，以增加喜庆的气氛。剪纸最常用的颜色是红色，象征健康和兴旺。中国剪纸在世界各地很受欢迎，经常被用作馈赠外国友人的礼物。

Target Text 译文:

Paper cutting is one of China’s most popular traditional folk arts. Chinese paper cutting has a history of more than 1,500 years. It was widespread particularly during the Ming and Qing Dynasties. People often beautify their homes with paper cuttings. During the Spring Festival and wedding celebrations, in particular, paper cuttings are used to decorate doors, windows and rooms in order to enhance the joyous atmosphere. The color most frequently used in paper cutting is red, which symbolizes health and prosperity. Chinese paper cutting is very popular around the world and it is often given as a present to foreign friends.

 

Students学生: Freshman (2nd Semester)

Students’ Strengths优点: Creative and flexible

e.g.

人们常用剪纸美化居家环境 (à家home / 房屋house)。

剪纸被用来装饰门窗和房间，以增加喜庆的气氛 (à欢乐，欢乐 happy/happiness, delightful)。

中国剪纸经常被用作馈赠外国友人的礼物。

( à被当作礼物for/to外国友人)

( à被送给外国友人as 礼物)

Symptoms症状& Diagnosis诊断: 

Symptom1

1) 中国剪纸在世界各地很受欢迎，经常被用作馈赠外国友人的礼物。

误：Chinese paper cutting is very popular in the world, which is often sent to foreign friends as a present.

正：Chinese paper cutting is very popular in the world, and it is often sent to fforeign friends as a present.

2) 剪纸最常用的颜色是红色，象征健康和兴旺。

误：Red is usually used in paper cutting, which symbolizes health and prosperity.

正：The color most frequently used in paper cutting is red, which symbolizes health and prosperity.

Diagnosis: which引导定语从句时应紧跟其对应的先行词。

which引导定语从句的用法:

e.g.

It is reported that UN mediators have worked out a plan which they hope will be acceptable to both sides.

Take the book which is lying on the table.

注：在不产生歧义并有助句子平衡的情况下，which与对应的先行词也可以被句子其他成分隔开，如《综合教程4》P.33 Unit2 TextA Smart Cars 中的这句话：

Smart cars have already been built which can monitor one’s driving and the driving conditions nearby. 能监控行车过程以及周围行车状况的智能汽车已经建造出来。

1) 这里的which与先行词smart cars虽然被主句的谓语“have already been built”隔开，但which之前并没有其他名词，因此它指代smart cars是确切的，不引起歧义；

2) 如果将原句语序调整为 “Smart cars which can monitor one’s driving and the driving conditions nearby have already been built” 那整句在话会显得头重脚轻，在不引起歧义的前提下，将which从句放在句末，形成悬念，引起读者兴趣了解这样的是什么样的智能汽车已经生产出来了，这样的句子就是英语里的尾重句。

 现在做一做四六级的真题，看看用定语从句时，整句话的语序如何安排最好。

2013.12四级真题

中国结最初由手工世人发明的，经过数百年不断的改进，已经成为一种优雅多彩的艺术和工艺。

译法一：The Chinese knot was invented by craftsmen at first, which experienced improvement during hundreds of years, …

译法二：The Chinese knot, which was originally invented by the craftsmen, has become an elegant and colorful art and craft over hundreds of years’ improvement.

分析：我个人认为第二种译法更好，不仅避免歧义，逻辑也更清晰。如果想把原中文句译成一个英语句子，确立主句非常重要，我认为原句最重要的信息是“已经成为一种优雅多彩的艺术和工艺”，那“最初由手工世人发明的”就作定语从句，整个英语句子的结构非常清晰，很好！

2017.6六级真题

明朝统治中国276年，被人们描绘成人类历史上最伟大时代之一。

译法一：The Ming Dynasty ruled China for 276 years, which was described as one of the greatest periods of human history.

译法二：The Ming Dynasty, which ruled China for 276 years, was described as one of the greatest periods of human history.

分析：我还是认为第二种译法更好，因为我觉得最重要的信息是“明朝被描绘成人类历史上最伟大时代之一”。 

Symptom 2

1) 中国剪纸有一千五百多年的历史，在明朝和清朝时期特别流行。

误：It has a history of more than 1500 years, it was popular especially in the Ming and Qing Dynasty.

正：It has a history of more than 1500 years, and it was popular especially in the Ming and Qing Dynasty.

 

2) 剪纸被用来装饰门窗和房间，以增加喜庆的气氛。

误：Paper cutting is always used to decorate the house, such as doors, windows, rooms and so on, it can increase the happy atmosphere, especially during the Spring Festival and weddings.

正：Paper cutting is always used to decorate the house, such as doors, windows, rooms and so on, and it can increase the happy atmosphere, especially during the Spring Festival and weddings.

 

3) 剪纸最常用的颜色是红色，象征健康和兴旺。

误：The most commonly used color of paper cutting is red, it’s a symbol of health and prosperity.

正：The most commonly used color of paper cutting is red, which is a symbol of health and prosperity.

Diagnosis: 双谓语句（在没有连词或从句的情况下，句号内出现两个谓语动词）

注：英语复合句的正确用法：

e.g. We could go to the beach, or we could go up to the mountains.

e.g. The idea of becoming a writer had come to me off and on since my childhood in Belleville, but it wasn’t until my third year in high school that the possibility took hold.

组合方式1：小句1+逗号+ 并列连词+小句2

英语的四种句型，参见：http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_699385a10102v3rs.html

注：什么是谓语动词？

•       英语动词可充当非谓语和谓语。

•       充当谓语即谓语动词，谓语动词在形态变化上受主语的限制，有人称和数、时态的变化，它是一个句子或一个从句中不可缺少的一部分。

•       非谓语动词是指在句子中不是谓语的动词，包括不定式、动名词和分词（现在分词和过去分词），即动词的非谓语形式。

•       非谓语动词除了不能独立作谓语外，可以承担句子的其他成分。

 

Symptom 3

1) 中国剪纸在明朝和清朝时期特别流行。

误：Chinese paper cutting is quite popular in the Ming and Qing Dynasty.

正：Chinese paper cutting was quite popular in the Ming and Qing Dynasty

2) Paper cutting not only was used to decorate home, but also was used to decorate doors, windows and rooms to increase the festive atmosphere.

Diagnosis:时态使用不当

Symptom 4

1) 剪纸最常用的颜色是红色，象征健康和兴旺。

误：Red is most commonly used color in paper cutting, as it represent health and prosperity.

正：Red is most commonly used color in paper cutting, as it represents health and prosperity.

2) 剪纸最常用的颜色是红色，象征健康和兴旺。

误：The most commonly used color in paper cutting is red, which symbolize health and prosperity.

正：The most commonly used color in paper cutting is red, which symbolizes health and prosperity.

Diagnosis:主谓语数不一致

 

Symptom 5

1) Chinese paper cutting is popular all over the world and often to be the gift sent to foreign friends.

2) 中国剪纸在世界各地很受欢迎，经常被用作馈赠外国友人的礼物。

误：Chinese paper cutting is very popular around the world and be often given as a present to foreign friends.

正：Chinese paper cutting is very popular around the world and it is often given as a present to foreign friends.

Diagnosis: be动词作谓语的用法(be动词作谓语时可用will/can be…, have/had been之类，或am/is/are, was/ were，总之不能直接用“be”作谓语动词)

 

Symptom 6

1) 剪纸是中国最为流行的传统民间艺术形式之一。

误：Paper cutting is one of the most popular traditional art forms.

正：Paper cutting is one of the most popular traditional arts.

 

2) 人们常用剪纸美化居家环境。

误：Paper cutting is always used to beautify the home environment.

正：Paper cutting is always used to beautify homes.

 

3) 特别是在春节和婚庆期间，剪纸被用来装饰门窗和房间……

误：People often use paper cutting to beautify home, especially in Spring Festival and wedding period.

正：People often use paper cutting to beautify home, especially in Spring Festival and wedding celebrations.

 

Diagnosis:汉语偏爱范畴词

e.g.据说他对邓的灵活态度印象很深。

It is said that he was impressed by Deng’s flexibility.

注：翻译不只是在另一种语言中寻找意义相似的其他词语，而是寻找表达事物的适当方式。翻译始终立足于语义，也就是说，是语义从源语到译语的转换，而不是形式。

-- Prof.Wolfram Wilss (Germany)

Symptom 7

剪纸最常用的颜色是红色，象征健康和兴旺。

误：Paper-cutting usually uses red, which symbolizes health and prosperity.

正：The most commonly used color in paper cutting is red, which symbolizes health and prosperity.

Diagnosis: 主、被动语态混淆

 

Symptom 8

中国剪纸经常被用作 馈赠外国友人的礼物。

Paper cutting is often used as a gift to give to foreign friends.

Diagnosis: 汉语的“连动式”谓语

e.g.他打开抽屉拿出字典来。

e.g.她从口袋里掏出钥匙把门打开。

 

其他易错细节：

1. 剪纸 paper cut à paper cutting

2. 有……年的历史 has … years history à has a history of … years

3. 是……最……之一

is one of the most… art à one of the … +名词复数 (art改为arts即可)

4. 在世界各地 in all over the world (去掉in)

注： all over的用法

over prep. (尤与all连用) in or across every part or most parts of (sth/a place) 遍及（某物[某地]）各处或大部分: Snow is falling (all) over the country. 全国各地都在下雪. * He's famous all over the world. 他名闻全世界.

在世界之地: around the world

around prep. here and there in; at many points within (a particular area) 到处; （在某范围内）在各点: Chairs were left untidily around the room. 屋里到处乱放着椅子.

5. 在……年之前  in … years ago (去掉in)

e.g. 中国的一位帝王于五千多年前发现了茶。

A Chinese emperor discovered tea in five thousand years ago.

 

Tips:

将汉语句子译成英语时，找准句子的主语和与之匹配的谓语是译好句子的关键。

Demo:

(原文) 中国剪纸在世界各地很受欢迎，经常被用作馈赠外国友人的礼物。

(重组1) 中国剪纸很受欢迎在世界各地，and 它经常被送给外国友人作为(as)礼物。

(译文1) Chinese paper cutting is very popular around the world and it is often given as a present to foreign friends.

(重组2) 中国剪纸很受欢迎在世界各地，and 它经常被当作礼物to/for外国友人。

(译文2) Chinese paper cutting is very popular around the world and it is often regarded as a present to foreign friends.