译典点评：《夜书所见》译文

《夜书所见》译文1评语

押韵很好，节奏不够整齐，部分诗行语法有问题、语义欠妥。

赵评：

1）仅从韵来看，是韵，但语义与原文偏离，有凑韵痕迹，没能做到恰如其分、天衣无缝。音节控制不到位，语法、语义、诗意三者没有做到最佳配置。

2)有的诗行用非谓语小句有的则是谓语成分句，显得杂乱；标点不当，则语义不明。动词搭配也有残缺，且时态也不统一。

3）语篇上没能贯通一起，尤其是最后两行，其间的关系不明朗；意象营造不鲜明，诗人的心情刻画不微妙，童趣着墨不够。

 《夜书所见》译文2评语

押韵欠佳，节奏不够整齐，部分诗行语法有问题、语义欠妥。

赵评：

1）                 尚未掌握韵的知识，一定要知道什么是韵什么不是韵，也要了解音步、音节并在译诗时调配，多实践。

2）                 句法等知识尚不够精到，尤其需要注意动词的搭配，也要注意时态的一致性，不可杂乱。

3）                 体会诗歌的意象是怎么营造的并体会用英语如何传达，了解一些文学的偏离效应与诗意的关系。

4月7日：叶绍翁

夜书所见

【宋】叶绍翁

萧萧梧叶送寒声，江上秋风动客情。

知有儿童挑促织，夜深篱落一灯明。

（选入部编本小学语文三年级上册）

诗人简介：

叶绍翁，字嗣宗，号靖逸，龙泉（今浙江龙泉）人，南宋中期诗人。著有《四朝闻见录》。诗集《靖逸小稿》、《靖逸小稿补遗》，其诗语言清新，意境高远，属江湖诗派风格。

Biosketch of the Poet:

YE Shaoweng，SiZong by courtesy name and JingYi by literary name, from LongQuan ( Present-day LongQuan in ZheJiang province), was a poet in the middle period of the Southern Song Dynasty. He wrote “My konwing about four dynasties " and you can find his poems in JingYi collection and “Supplement of JingYi collection. With clear words and deep meaning, his poems are in a style of Jianghu school.

A night in sight

By YE Shaoweng

Tr. XXX

Autumn sough arose and phoenix tree leaves down

Facing the river, I'm reminded a wanderer far.

With a cricket, I know kids are playing.

For back the fence, one light is remaining.

(The poem was elected for the volume 1 of Chinese literary textbook for third grade students by the Ministry of Education)

 Seen at Night While I'm Reading

By YE Shaoweng

Tr. ZHAO Yanchun

Sough, sough, the parasol trees send here chill;

The autumn wind stirs up the traveler’s plight.

Children must have played with the crickets’ shrill,

Because a lamp’s left there by the fence at night.