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《剑桥雅思8》Test 1 Writing Task 2 满分范文赏析

(2011-04-18 08:36:30)
标签:

教育

分类: 雅思写作满分范文(剑桥)

 

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. 
Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 
分析:这道题是问儿童教育应该谁来负责,是家长还是学校 

【教师范文】
Children's education has long been our concern since Plato once uttered, "Education is where a country should start at." However, it is still a controversial issue after all these years among people who are particularly concerned about it. Some people believe that it is parents' responsibility to cultivate their kids to be fully aware of what a social being should look like; others, whereas, argue that schools should take over this for the ultimate goal. In this essay, I would put this issue in question and further analyse both sides before presenting my personal perspective.  
引用名人名言(黑体)

斜体字部分的写法十分传统,是不少学员喜欢的模板式的写法。


On one hand, parents, as the first touchers of their kids, should tell them how to differentiate right from wrong. Given the time parents spend with their kids, they can be more likely to observe everyday change of their children. As a result of this, they are accountable for how their children normally behave in reality. More importantly, considering the fact that people according to their social being are usually placed into diverse norms, parents, as a family, as a part of community and as individuals in the society, should appropriately behave in action so as to deliver a message to their kids in which what should be respected and cherished in lives is highly highlighted. 

On the other hand, academic institutions should take the responsibility for educating students to be entirely ready to enter the society. After leaving parents for schools, kids almost devote their most prime time at schools with their peels, their friends and their teachers; therefore, schools ought to put much emphasis on their growth as a person. Consequently, students could learn what they cannot acquire from home, such as communicative skills, understanding of various cultures etc. 

请特别注意主题句之间和两个段落拓展部分的逻辑;注意衔接词、过渡手段等

From what has previously well stated, my point of view can be generated that parental education should be highly cooperated with formal education in the process of a child's growth. What contribute to a person to become an entity are interpersonal skills and intrapersonal qualities; however, as for the parental education and formal education, the ultimate goal of a person which is to be taught to be a proper member of society cannot be fulfilled without either one of these.

注意首尾呼应、注意开头结尾、主题句位置与题目的高度结合。

 

 

【考官范文】

A child's education has never been about learning information and basic skills only. It has always included teaching the next generation how to be good members of society. Therefore, this cannot be the responsibility of the parents alone.

 

In order to be a good member of any society the individual must respect and obey the rules of their community and share their values. Educating children to understand the need to obey rules and respect others always begins in the home and is widely thought to be the responsibility of parents. They will certainly be the first to help children learn what is important in life, how they are expected to behave and what role they will play in their world.

 

However, learning to understand and share the value system of a whole society cannnot be achieved just in the home. Once a child goes to school they are entering a wider community where teachers and peers will have just as much influence as their parents do at home. At school, children will experience working and living with people from a whole variety of backgrounds from the wider society. This experience should teach them how to co-operate with each other and how to contribute to the life of their community.

 

But to be a valuable member of any community is not like learning a simple skill. It is something that an individual goes on learning throughout life and it is the responsibility for every member of a society to take responsibility for helping the younger generation to become active and able members of that society.

 

 

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