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“孩奴”

33.What Do Parents Owe Their Children 父母欠子女什么？

1.If I had to select a word that best describes the majority of American parents ,that word would be guilt-ridden. 如果我必须挑选一个词，来描述美国的大多数父母，这个词便是“内疚”。  

How sad it is to see parents become the willing victims of the

"give-me game”,only to discover that,no matter what they do,it isn't enough. 目睹父母们甘愿做“给我游戏”的牺牲者是很令人伤心的。但我们发现无论他们怎么做，都还是不够。  

In the end,they are despised for their lack of firmness and blamed when their spoiled children get in trouble. 到最后，父母们都会因自己的软弱而受到蔑视，因他们宠坏的孩子惹出事端而受到责备。

With this in mind,I shall first answer this question:" What do parents owe their children?" 认识到这些，我们应该首先回答这个问题：“父母欠子女些什么？”

and I shall start with what they don't owe them.而我首先要从他们不欠子女什么谈起。 

2.Parents don't owe their children every minute of their day and every ounce of their energy. 父母不必把分分秒秒、点点滴滴的精力都花在孩子们身上。 

They don’t owe them round-the-clock car service,singing lessons,tennis lessons,expensive bicycles,a motorcycle or a car when they reach sixteen,or a trip to Europe when they graduate.不必时时准备替他们开车外出，不必让他们上音乐课和网球课，不必给他们买很贵的自行车、摩托车、或在他们满十六岁时给他们买汽车，也不在他们毕业时出钱让他们去欧洲旅游。父母并不欠子女这些。

3.I take the firm position that parents do not owe their children a college education.我还确信父母并不欠孩子高等教育的费用。

If they can afford it,fine; they can certainly send them to the best universities.如果付的起，很好，他们当然可以将子女送进一流大学。 

But they must not feel guiltily if they can't. 但付不起亦无须感到愧疚。 

If the children really want to go,they'll find a way. 假如子女们真愿意上大学，他们自己会找到办法。 

There are plenty of loans and scholarships for the bright and eager who can't afford to pay.因为有许多为聪明好学而又无力支付学费的年轻人设立的贷款项目和奖学金。 

4.After children marry,their parents do not owe them a down payment on a house or money for the furniture. 孩子结婚后，父母无须为他们分期付款买房子而出底金，无须为他们购买家具， 

They do not have an obligation to baby-sit or to take their grandchildren in their house when the parents were on vacation. 也不一定要照顾孙辈。 

If they want to do it,it must be considered a favor,not an obligation.倘若父母乐意这么做，子女应把这看作恩惠而不是义务。

5.In my opinion, parents do not owe their children an inheritance,no matter how much money they have. 在我看来，无论父母多么有钱，都不一定要给子女一笔遗产。 

One of the surest ways to produce a loafer is to let children know that their future is assured.让子女知道自己前途已有保障无疑最能使他们变为懒虫。 

6.Do parents owe their children anything ? Yes,they owe them a great deal.那么，父母难道就不欠子女什么了吗？不，欠得很多很多。 

7.One of their chief obligations is to give their children a sense of personal worth of self-esteem is the basis of a good mental health. 父母最主要的责任之一就是使孩子们尊重自己的价值。因为只有自尊自重才是健康的精神状态的基础。

A youngster,who is constantly made to feel stupid and unworthy,constantly compared to brighter brothers,sisters or cousins,will become so unsure,so afraid of failing,that he (or she) won't try at all. 如果总让孩子感到自己愚蠢无为，老是把他与聪明的兄弟姐妹比较，他就会变得缺乏信心，惧怕失败，结果连尝试一下的勇气都没有了。  

Of course,they should be corrected when they do wrong; this is the way children learn. 当然，孩子有错误应当及时纠正，这样孩子才能有所长进。

But the criticisms should be balanced with praises,preferably with a smile and a kiss. 不过有批评也须有表扬，微笑和亲吻是比较好的方式。

No child is ever too old to be hugged. 孩子再大也可以拥抱。

Parents owe their children firm guidance and consistent discipline. 父母有义务对孩子进行不间断的引导和管束。

It is frightening for a youngster to feel that he is in charge of himself; it's like being in a car without brakes. 让十几岁的孩子觉得自己可以随心所欲是危险的，那就和坐在没刹车的汽车里一样。 

The parents who say "No" when other parents say "Yes" sends a double message. 当别的父母让孩子放任自流时，管束孩子的父母实际上让孩子接收到了一种双重信息。  

He is also saying: "I love you,and I am ready to risk your anger,because I don't want you to get into trouble."在说“不行”的同时，他们的意思也包含了：“我们爱你。我们知道你会生气，但我们不愿让你陷入困境。” 

8.Parents owe their children some religious training. 父母有义务给予孩子一些宗教训练。

The fact that so many strange cults are enjoying such success is proof that children feel the need for something spiritual in their life.事实上，很多奇怪的宗教团体享受着成功，这正说明了孩子在他们的生活中，需要一些精神上的东西。 

9.Parents owe their children a comfortable feeling about their body,and enough information about sex to balance the misinformation that they will surely receive from their friends.父母也有义务注意孩子的身心健康，教给孩子必要的性知识，使他能够抵御那些将来无疑会从朋友们那儿得到的错误概念。

10.Parents owe their children privacy and respect for their personal belongings. 父母还应给予孩子们个人空间，尊重属于他的物品。  

This means not borrowing things without permission,not reading diaries and mail,not looking through purses,pockets,and drawers. 这包括未经孩子同意不使用他的东西。不看他的日记和信件，不检查他的钱包、抽屉或衣袋。  

If a mother feels that she must read her daughter's diary to know what is going on,the communication between them must be pretty bad.倘若一位母亲感到不看女儿的日记就不知道女儿的情况时，她们之间的关系便已到了相当糟糕的地步了。 

11.Parents owe their children a set of solid values around which to build their lives. 最后，父母还有责任教给子女系列处世准则， 

This means teaching them to respect the rights and opinions of others; it means being respectful to elders,to teachers,and to the law. 包括教育他们尊重别人的权利与意见，尊重师长，遵守纪律。 

The best way to teach such values is by example. 而最好的教育方法便是以身作则。 

A child who is lied to will lie. 受过骗的孩子会去骗人。 

A child who sees his parents steal tools from the factory or towels from a hotel will think that it is all right to steal. 孩子若看到家长从工厂里偷工具或在旅馆里偷毛巾便会以为偷窃不是错事。  

A youngster who sees no laughter and no love in the home will have a difficult time laughing and loving.在家里看不见家长的笑脸、得不到爱抚的孩子将来很难变得开朗和友爱。 

12. No child asks to be born. 没有任何孩子是自己要求出世的。 

If you bring a life into the world,you owe the children something. 倘若你将一个生命带到世界上来，你便对他负有义务。 

And if you give him his due,he'll have something of value to pass along to your grandchildren.如果你给予了他应得的，他也将会有一些有价值的东西传给你的孙辈们。