HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

 

Part One

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

 

Principle 1: Don't criticize, condemn or complain.

 

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

 

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

 

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain -- and most fools do.

But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

 

Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation.

 

Dr. Dewey said that the deepest urge in human nature is "the desire to be important."

 

William James said: "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."

 

... many people who go insane find in insanity a feeling of importance that they were unable to achieve in the world of reality.

 

Principle 3: Arouse in the other person an eager want.

 

Harry A. Overstreet in his illuminating book Influencing Human Behavior said, "Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire... and the best piece of advice which can be given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in politics, is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way."

 

"If there is any one secret of success," said Henry Ford, "it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angel as well as your own."

 

 

Part Two

Six Ways to Make People Like You

 

Principle 1: Become genuinely interested in other people.

 

Principle 2: Smile.

 

... Do not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; and then, without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal. Keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do, and then, as the days go gliding away, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the element it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular incividual.... Thought is supreme. Preserve a right mental attitude -- the attitude of courage, frankness, and good cheer. To think rightly is to create. All things come through desire and every sincere prayer is answered. We become like that on which our hearts are fixed. Carry your chin in the crown of your head high. We are gods in the chrysalis.

 

Principle 3: Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

 

Principle 4: Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

 

"... but I really know you love me because whenever I want to talk to you about something you stop whatever you are doing and listen to me."

 

So If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.

 

Principle 5: Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

 

Principle 6: Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

 

The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.

 

 

Part Three

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

 

Principle 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

 

Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely right.

 

... a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person's viewpoint.

 

Principle 2: Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."

 

... don't argue wiht your customer or your spouse or your adversary. Don't tell them they are wrong, don't get them stirred up. Use a little diplomacy.

 

Principle 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

 

Principle 4: Begin in a friendly way.

 

The sun can make you take off your coat more quickly than the wind; and kindliness, the friendly appraoch and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world.

 

Remember waht Lincoln said: "A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall."

 

Principle 5: Get the other person saying "yes, Yes" immediately.

 

The skillful speaker gets, at the outset, a number of "Yes" responses. This sets the psychological process of the listerners moving in the affirmative direction.

 

"He who treads softly goes far."

 

Principle 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

 

Letting the other person do the talking helps in family situations as well as in business.

 

"... I had never listened to her. I was always telling her to do this or that. When she wanted to tell me her thoughts, feelings, ideas, I interrupted with more orders. I began to realize that she needed me -- not as a bossy mother, but as a confidante, an outlet for all her confusion about growing up. And all I had been doing was talking when I should have been listening...."

 

"If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you."

 

Principle 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

 

He didn't care about credit. He wanted results.

 

Principle 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.

 

"I would rather walk the sidewalk in front of a person's office for two hours before an interview than step into that office without a perfectly clear idea of what I was going to say and what that person -- from my knowledge of his or her interests and motives -- was likely to answer."

 

Principle 9: Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.

 

Principle 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.

 

Principle 11: Dramatize your ideas.

 

 

Part Four

Be a Leader: How to Change People without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

 

Principle 1: Begin with preaise and honest appreciation.

 

Principle 2: Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.

 

Change the word "but" to "and":

"We're really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better."

"We're really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others."

 

Principle 3: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

 

Principle 4: Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

 

Principle 5: Let the other person save face.

 

Principle 6: Praise th eslightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."

 

Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement.

 

Principle 7: Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

 

Principle 8: Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

 

Principle 9: Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

 

 

Part Five

Letters That Produced Miraculous Results

 

 

Part Six

Seven Rules for Making Your Home Life Happier

 

Rule 1: Don't, Don't nag.

 

Rule 2: Don't try to make your partner over.

 

... as Leland Foster Wood in his book, Growing Together in the Family, has observed: "Success in marriage is much more than a matter of finding the right person; it is also a matter of being the right person."

 

Rule 3: Don't criticize.

 

... more than fifty percent of all marriages are failures; and she knows that one of th ereasons why so many romantic dreams break up on the rocks of Reno is criticism -- futile, heartbreaking criticism.

 

Rule 4: Give honest appreciation.

 

"Most Men when seeking wives are not looking for executives but for someone with allure and willingness to flatter their vanity and make them feel superior."

 

Rule 5: Pay little attentions.

 

The meaning of little attentions is this: it shows the person you love that you are thinking of her, that you want to please her, and that her happiness and welfare are very dear, and very near, to your heart.

 

"It's not love's going hurts my days, but that it went in little ways."

 

Rule 6: Be courteous.

 

"Next to care in choosing a partner I should place courtesy after marriage."

 

... it's notorious that we are more polite to strangers than we are to our own relatives.

 

Rule 7: Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage.

 

"Sentimental reticence must be replaced by an ability to discuss objectively ad with detachment attitudes and practices of married life."

 

 

HOW TO STOP WORRYING AND START LIVING

 

Part One

Fundamental Facts You Should Know about Worry

 

1. Live in "Day-tight Compartments"

 

"Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand."

 

The best possible way to prepare for tomorrow is to concentrate with all your intelligence, all your enthusiasm, on doing today's work superbly today.

 

By all means take thought for the tomorrow, yes, careful thought and plannning and preparation. But have no anxiety.

 

Whether in war or peace, the chief difference between good thinking and bad thinking is this: good thinking deals with causes and effects and leads to logical, constructive planning; bad thinking frequently leads to tension and nervous breakdowns.

 

One step enough for me.

 

Life "is in the living, in the tissue of every day and hour."

 

Life is a ceaseless change. "You cannot step in the same river twice."

 

The first thing you should know about worry is this:

Shut the iron doors on the past and the future. Live in Day-tight Compartments.

 

2. A Magic Formula for Solving Worry Situations

 

One of the worst features about worrying is that it destroys our ability to concentrate. When we worry, our minds jump here and there and everywhere, and we lose all power of decision.

 

"Be willing to have it so," he said, "because... acceptance of what has happened is the first step in overcoming the consequences of any misfortune."

 

Rule 2 is: If you have a worry problem, apply the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier by doing these three things --

1. Ask yourself, "What is th eworst that can possibly happen?"

2. Prepare to accept it if you have to.

3. Then calmly proceed to improve on the worst.

 

3. What Worry May Do to You

 

Seventy percent of all patients who come to physicians could cure themselves if they only got rid of their fears and worries.

 

Fear causes worry. Worry makes you tense and nervous and affects the nerves of your stomach and actually changes the gastric juices of your stomach from normal to abnormal and often leads to stomach ulcers.

 

The most relaxing recreating forces are a healthy religion, sleep, music, and laughter.

Have faith in God -- learn to sleep well -- love good music -- see the funny side of life -- And health and happiness will be yours.

 

"I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavour... If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."

 

"Face the facts! Quit worrying! And then do something about it!"

 

 

Part Two

Basic Techniques in Analysing Worry

 

4. How to Analyse and Solve Worry Problems

 

Confusion is the chief cause of worry. Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision.

 

A problem well stated is a problem half solved.

 

"I banish about ninety percent of my worries by taking these four steps:

"1. Writing down precisely what I am worrying about.

"2. Writing down what I can do about it.

"3. Deciding what to do.

"4. Starting immediately to carry out that decision."

 

"When once a decision is reached and execution is the order of the day, dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome."

 

"I find that to keep thinking about our problems beyond a certain point is bound to create confusion and worry. There comes a time when any more investigation and thinking are harmful. There comes a time when we must decide and act and never look back."

 

5. How to Eliminate Fifty Percent of Your Business Worries

 

Q1: What is the problem?

Q2: What is the cause of the problem?

Q3: What are all possible solutions of the problem?

Q4: What solution do you suggest?

 

 

Part Three

How to Break the Worry Habit Before It Breaks You

 

Rule 1: Keep busy. The worried person must lose himself in action, lest be wither in despair.

 

It is difficult to worry while you are busy doing something that requires planning and thinking.

 

"I'm too busy. I have no time for worry."

 

It is utterly impossible for any human mind, no matter how brilliant, to think of more that one thing at any given time.

 

"A certain comfortable security, a certain profound inner peace, a kind of happy numbness, soothes the nerves of the human animal when absorbed in its allotted task." -- The Art of Forgetting the Unpleasant

 

"The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not." -- George Bernard Shaw

 

Rule 2: Let's not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember "Life is too short to be little."

 

We often face the major disasters of life bravely -- and then let the trifles, the "pains in the neck", get us down.

 

"Trivialities are at the bottom of most marital unhappiness."

 

"... so it is with many petty worries. We dislike them and get into a stew, all because we exaggerate their importance..."

 

Let us devote our life to worthwhile actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings.

 

I have kept that whistle as a memento of a man who knew how to put trifles in their place.

 

Rule 3: "Let's examine the record." Let's ask ourselves: "What are the chances, according to the law of averages, that this event I am worrying about will ever occur?"

 

Rule 4: Cooperate with the inevitable.

 

It is astonishing how quickly we can accept almost any situation -- if we have to -- and adjust ourselves to it and forget about it.

 

"It is so. It cannot be otherwise."

 

Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequence of any misfortune.

 

"Teach me neither to cry for the moon nor over spilt milk."

 

"A good supply of resignation is of the first importance in providing for the journey of life."

 

Circumstances alone do not make us happy or unhappy. It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings. Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven is within you. That is where the kingdom of hell is, too.

 

The animals confront night, storms, and hunger calmly; so they never have nervous breakdowns or stomach ulcers; and they never go insane.

 

For every ailment under the sun,

There is a remedy, or there is none;

If there be one, try to find it;

If there be none, never mind it.

 

"I wouldn't worry if I lost every cent I have because I don't see what is to be gained by worrying. I do the best job I possibly can; and leave the results in the laps of the gods."

 

"When I can't handle events, I let them handle themselves."

 

"There is only one way to happiness," Epictetus taught the Romans, "and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will."

 

"Every time I am tempted now to worry about something I can't possibly change, I shrug my shoulders and say, 'Forget it.'"

 

"Try to bear lightly what needs must be."

 

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

The courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference.

 

Rule 5: Whenever we are tempted to throw good money after bad in terms of human living, let's stop and ask ourselves these three questions:

1. How much does this thing I am worrying about really matter to me?

2. At what point shall I set a "stop-loss" order on this worry -- and forget it?

3. Exactly how much shall I pay for this whistle? Have I already paid more than it is worth?

 

"Let's put a stop-loss order on this thing instantly. We are squandering our lives. Let's say 'Enough' now!"

 

I believe we could annihilate fifty percent of all our worries at once if we would develop a sort of provite gold standard -- a gold standard of what things are worth to us in terms of our lives.

 

Rule 6: Don't try to saw sawdust.

 

There is only one way on God's green footstool that the past can be constructive; and that is by calmly analyzing our past mistakes and profiting by them -- and forgetting them.

 

It taught me to keep from spilling milk if I could; but to forget it completely, once it was spilled and had gone down the drain.

 

"Don't cross your bridges until you come to them."

 

"Don't cry over spilt milk."

 

 

Part Four

Seven Ways to Cultivate A Mental Attitude That Will Bring You Peace and Happiness

 

Rule 1: Think and act cheerfully, and you will feel cheerful.

 

The biggest problem you and I have to deal with -- in fact, almost the only problem we have to deal with -- is choosing the right thoughts. If we can do that, we will be on the highroad to solving all our problems.

 

"Our life is what our thoughts make it."

 

I gained the scientific certainty that all causation was Mind, and every effect a mental phenomenon.

 

I know men and women can banish worry, fear, and various kinds of illness, and can transform their lives by changing their thoughts. I know! I know!! I know!!!

 

When moments of uneasiness try to creep in (as they will in everyone's life) I tell myself to get that camera back in focus, and everything is ok.

 

Our peace of mind and the joy we get out of living depends not on where we are, or what we have, or who we are, but solely upon our mental attitude.

 

We ought to be more concerned about removing wrong thoughts from the mind than about removing "tumors and abscesses from the body."

 

Montaigne adopted these seventeen words as the motto of his life: "A man is not hurt so much by what happens, as by his opinion of what happens."

 

We cannot instantly change our emotions just by "making up our minds to" -- but we can change our actions. And when we change our actions, we will automatically change our feelings.

 

The sovereign voluntary path to cheerfulness, if your cheerfulness be lost, is to sit up cheerfully and to act and speak as if cheerfulness were already there.

 

Follow a daily programme of cheerful and constructive thinking: Just For Today

1. I will be happy. "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

2. I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.

3. I will take care of my body.

4. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

5. I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, talk low, be liberal with praise, criticise not at all, nor find fault with anything and not try to regulate nor improve anyone.

 

Rule 2: Let's never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Let's do as General Eisenhower does: let's never waste a minute thinking about people we don't like.

 

When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.

 

The chief personality characteristic of persons with hypertension is resentment. When resentment is chronic, chronic hypertension and heart trouble follow.

 

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.

 

Our sure way to forgive and forget our enemies is to become absorbed in some cause infinitely bigger than ourselves.

 

"All of us are the children of conditions, of circumstances, of environment, of education, of acquired habits and of heredity moulding men as they are and will forever be."

 

So instead of hating our enemies, let's pity them and thank God that life has not made us what they are.

 

Rule 3:

A. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let's expect it. Let's remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day -- and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?

B. Let's remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude, but to give for the joy of giving.

C. Let's remember that gratitude is a "cultivated" trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.

 

The only way in this world that they can ever hope to be loved is to stop asking for it and to start pouring out love without hope of return.

 

Let us remember that to raise grateful children, we have to be grateful.

 

Rule 4: Count your blessings -- not your troubles!

 

"If you have all the fresh water you want to drink and all the food you want to eat, you ought never to complain about anything."

 

About ninety percent of the things in our lives are right and about ten percent are wrong. If we want to be happy, all we have to do is to concentrate on the ninety percent that are right and ignore the ten percent that are wrong.

 

"Think and Thank". Think of all we have to be grateful for, and thank God for all our boons and bounties.

 

"The habit of looking on the best side of every event is worth more than a thousand pounds a year."

 

Rule 5: Let's not imitate others. Let's find ourselves and be ourselves.

 

Rule 6: When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade.

 

Two men looked out from prison bars,

One saw the mud, the other saw stars.

 

"The north wind made the Vikings."

 

Here are two reasons why we ought to try, anyway -- two reasons why we have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

Reason one: We may succeed.

Reason two: Even if we don't succeed, the mere attempt to turn our minus into a plus will cause us to look forward instead of backward; it will replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts; it will release creative energy and spur us to get so busy that we won't have either time or the inclination to mourn over what is past and for ever gone.

 

The most important thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that. The really important thing is to profit from your losses. That requires intelligence; and it makes the difference between a man of sense and a fool.

 

Rule 7: Forget yourself by becoming interested in others. Do every day a good deed that will put a smile of joy on someone's face.

 

"You can be cured in fourteen days if you follow this prescription. Try to think every day how you can please someone."

 

It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow man who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others.

 

Trying to please others will cause us to stop thinking of ourselves: the very thing that produces worry and fear and melancholia.

 

"When you are good to others, " said Franklin, "you are best to yourself."

 

 

Part Five

The Golden Rule for Conquering Worry

 

"The sovereign cure for worry is religious faith."

 

What makes a man a Christian is neither his intellectual acceptance of certain ideas, nor his conformity to a certain rule, but his possession of a certain Spirit, and his participation in a certain life.

 

"Prayer is the most powerful form of energy one can generate. It is a force as real as terrestrial gravity. As a physician, I have seen men, after all other therapy had failed, lifted out of disease and melancholy by the serene effort of prayer... Prayer like radium is a source of luminous, self-generating energy... In prayer, human beings seek to augment their finite energy by addressing themselves to the infinite source of all energy."

 

Prayer fulfills these three very basic psychological needs which all people share, whether they believe in God or not:

1. Prayer helps us to put into words exactly what is troubling us.

2. Prayer gives us a sense of sharing our burdens, of not being alone. It is therapeutically good to tell someone our troubles.

3. Prayer puts into force an active principle of doing. It's a first step toward action.

 

 

Part Six

How to Keep from Worrying about Criticism

 

Rule 1: Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment. Remember that no one ever kicks a dead dog.

 

When you are kicked and criticised, remember that it is often done because it gives the kicker a feeling of importance. It often means that you are accomplishing something and are worthy of attention.

 

"Vulgar people take huge delight in the faults and follies of great men."

 

Rule 2: Do the very best you can; and then put up your old umbrella and keep the rain of criticism from running down the back of your neck.

 

Although I couldn't keep people from criticising me unjustly, I could determine whether I would let the unjust condemnation disturb me.

 

We admire his serenity, his unshaken poise, and his sense of humor.

 

Rule 3: Let's keep a record of the fool things we have done and criticise ourselves. Since we can't hope to be perfect, let's do what E. H. Little did: let's ask for unbiased, helpful, constructive criticism.

 

 

Part Seven

Six Ways to Prevent Fatigue and Worry and Keep Your Energy and Spirits High

 

23. How to Add One Hour a Day to Your Waking Life

 

Any nervous or emotional state "fails to exist in the presense of complete relaxation". That is another way of saying: You cannot continue to worry if your relax.

So, to prevent fatigue and worry, the first rule is: Rest often. Rest before you get tired.

 

"Rest is not a matter of doing absolutely nothing. Rest is repair." There is so much repair power in a short period of rest that even a five-minute nap will help to forestall fatigue!

 

An hour's nap before the evening meal plus six hours' sleep at night -- a total of seven hours -- will do you more good than eight hours of unbroken sleep.

 

Let me repeat: do what the Army does -- take frequent rests. Do what your heart does -- rest before you get tired, and you will add one hour a day to your waking life.

 

24. What Makes You Tired -- and What You Can Do About It

 

"One hundred per cent of the fatigue of the sedentary worker in good health is due to psychological factors, by which we mean emotional factors."

 

Boredom, resentment, a feeling of not being appreciated, a feeling of futility, hurry, anxiety, worry -- those are the emotional factors that exhaust the sitting worker, make him susceptible to colds, reduce his output, and send him home with a nervous headache. Yes, we get tired because our emotions produce nervous tensions in the body.

 

Learn to relax while you are doing your work.

 

You always begin to relax with your muscle. The most important organ of all is the eye. If you can completely relax the muscles of the eyes, you can forget all your troubles. The reason the eyes are so important in relieving nervous  tension is that they burn up one-fourth of all the nervous energies consumed by the body.

 

"Think of yourself as an old crumpled sock. Then you've got to relax!"

 

Relaxation is the absence of all tension and effort.

 

Relax in odd moments. Let your body go limp like an old sock or learn to relax as the cat does.

 

Work, as much as possible, in a comfortable position. Remember that tensions in the body produce aching shoulders and nervous fatigue.

 

25. How The Housewife Can Avoid Fatigue -- and Keep Looking Young

 

One of the best remedies for lightening worry is "talking your troubles over with someone you trust. We call it catharsis. Brooding over worries alone, and keeping them to oneself, causes great nervous tension.

 

Some other ideas you can do in your home:

1. Keep a notebook or scrapbook for "inspirational" reading.

2. Don't dwell too long on the shortcomings of others.

3. Get interested in your neighbours.

4. Make up a schedule for tomorrow's work before you go to bed tonight.

5. Finallly -- avoid tension and fatigue. Relax! Relax!

 

Some exercises you can do in your home:

a. Lie flat on the floor whenever you feel tired. Stretch as tall as you can. Roll around if you want to. Do it twice a day.

b. Close your eyes. You might try saying somehting like this: "The sun is shining overhead. The sky is blue and sparkling. Nature is calm and in control of the world -- and I, as nature's child, am in tune with the Universe."

c. Six upright in the chair like a seated Egyptian statue, and let your hands rest, palms down, on the tops of your thighs.

d. Now, slowly tense the toes -- then let them relax. Tense the muscles in your legs -- and let them relax. Do this slowly upward, with tall the muscles of your body, until you get to the neck. Then let your head roll around heavily, as thought it were a football. Keep saying to your muscles: "Let go... let go..."

e. Quiet your nerves with slow, steady breathing. Rhythmical breathing is one of the best methods ever discovered for soothing the nerves.

f. Think of the wrinkles and frowns in your face, and smooth them all out. Loosen up the worry-creases you feel between your brows, and at the sides of your mouth. Maybe the lines will disappear from the inside out!

 

26. Four Good Working Habits That Will Help Prevent Fatigue and Worry

 

Habit No. 1: Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.

　　 

"Order is Heaven's first law."

 

The constant reminder of "a million things to do and no time to do them" can worry you not only into tension and fatigue, but it can also worry you into high blood pressure, heart trouble, and stomach ulcers.

 

Habit No. 2: Do things in the order of their importance.

 

The two priceless abilities are: first, the ability to think. Second, th eability to do things in the order of their importance.

 

Habit No. 3: When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision. Don't keep putting off decisions.

 

Habit No. 4: Learn to organise, deputize, and supervise.

 

27. How to Banish the Boredom That Produces Fatigue, Worry, and Resentment

 

Act "as if" you were interested in your job, and that bit of acting will tend to make your interest real. It will also tend to decrease your fatigue, your tensions, and your worries.

 

28. How to Keep from Worrying about Insomnia

 

a. If you can't sleep, get up and work or read until you do feel sleepy.

b. Remember that no one was ever killed by lack of sleep. Worrying about insomnia usually causes far more damage than sleeplessness.

c. Try prayer.

d. Relax your body.

e. Exercise. Get yourself so physically tired you can't stay awake.

 

 

Part Eight

How to Find the Kind of Work in Which You May Be Happy and Successful

 

 

Part Nine

How to Lessen Your Financial Worries

 

"What causes most people to worry is not that they haven't enough money, but that they don't know how to spend the money they have."

 

1: Get the facts down on paper.

2. Get a tailor-made budget that really fits your needs.

3. Learn how to spend wisely.

4. Don't increase your headaches with your income.

5. Try to build credit, in the event you must borrow.

6. Protect yourself against illness, fire, and emergency expenses.

7. Do not have your life-insurance proceeds paid to your widow in cash.

8. Teach your children a responsible attitude towards money.

9. If necessary, make a little extra money off your kitchen stove.

10. Don't gamble -- ever.

11. If we can't possibly improve our financial situation, let's be good to ourselves and stop resenting what can't be changed.

 

"If you have what seems to you insufficient, then you will be miserable even if you possess the world."

 

 

Part Ten

"How I Conquered Worry" -- 32 True Stories

 

The Arabs take life so calmly and never hurry or get into unnecessary temmpers when things go wrong. They know that what is ordained is ordained; and no one but God can alter anything. However, that doesn't mean that in the face of disaster, they sit down and do nothing.

The Arabs didn't complain. They shrugged their shoulders and said: "Mektoub!" ... "It is written."

You and I are not Mohammedans: we don't want to be fatalists. But when the fierce, burning winds blow over our lives -- and we cannot prevent them -- let us, too, accept the inevitable. And then get busy and pick up the pieces.

 

1. Live with gusto and enthusiasm.

2. Read an interesting book.

3. Play games.

4. Relax while you work: "I learned long ago to avoid the folly of hurry, rush, and working under tension." "Sometimes when I have too many things to do all at one, I sit down and relax and smoke my pipe for an hour and do nothing."

5. I have also learned that patience and time have a way of resolving our troubles. When I am worried about something, I try to see my troubles in their proper perspective.

 

I have learned not to expect too much of people, and so I can still get happiness out of the friend who isn't quite true to me or the acquaintance who gossips. Above all, I have acquired a sense of humor, because there were so many things over which I had either to cry or laugh. And when a woman can joke over her troubles instead of having hysterics, nothing can ever hurt her much again.

 

I find the best antidote for worry is exercise. Use your muscles more and your brain less when you are worried, and you will be surprised at the result. It works that way with me -- worry goes when exercise begins.

 

As I look back at it now, I can see that my problem was one of confusion, a disinclination to find the causes of my worry and face them realistically.

 

I soon found that I couldn't worry about myself and laugh at myself at one and the same time. So I've been laughing at myself ever since.

The point of this is: Don't take yourself too seriously. Try "just laughing" at some of your sillier worries, and see if you can't laugh them out of existence.

 

This one thing I know: my life was completely tansformed and uplifted that night in Lucknow, thirty one years ago, when at the depth of my weakness and depression, a voice said to me: "If you will turn that over to Me and not worry about it, I will take care of it," and I replied: "Lord, I close the bargain right here."

 

I put into my work the energy that I had been putting into worrying. Little by little, my situation began to improve. I am almost thankful now that I had to go through all that misery; it gave me strength, fortitude, and confidence. I know now what it means to hit bottom. I know it doesn't kill you. I know we can stand more than we think we can. When little worries and anxieties and uncertainties try to disturb me now, I banish them by reminding myself of the time I sat on the packing case and said: "I've hit bottom and I've stood it. There is no place to go now but up."

 

I kept saying over and over: "Nothing is going to stop me. He is not going to hurt me. I won't feel his blows. I can't get hurt. I am going to keep going, no matter what happens." Making positive statements like that to myself, and thinking positive thoughts, helped me a lot. It even kept my mind so occupied that I didn't feel the blows.

I would say: "What a fool you are to be worrying about something that hasn't happened and may never happen. Life is short. I have only a few years to live, so I must enjoy life." I kept saying to myself: "Nothing is important but my health. Nothing is important but my health." I kept reminding myself that losing sleep and worrying would destroy my health. I found that by saying these things to myself over and over, night after night, year after year, they finally got under my skin, and I could brush off my worries like so much water.

 

He taught me to laugh at myself. But I thinkthe really skilful thng he did was to refrain from lauging at me, and to refrain from telling me I had nothing to worry about. He took me seriously. He saved my face. He gave me an out in a small box. But he knew then, as well as I know now, that the cure wasn't in those silly little pills -- the cure was in a change in my mental attitude.

 

When I had nothing to do but lie on the flat of my back and worry about my future, I made no improvement whatever. I was poisoning my body with worry. Even the broken ribs couldn't heal. But as soon as I got my mind off myself by playing contract bridge, painting oil pictures, and carving wood, the doctors declare I made "an amazing improvement."

"I have found that, if only I have patience, the worry that is trying to harass me will often collapse like a pricked balloon."

Time solves a lot of things. Time may also solve what you are worrying about today.

 

I am a great dismisser. When I turn one task to another, I dismiss all thoughts of the problems I had been thinking about previously.

I have had to school myself to dismiss all these problems from my mind when I close my office desk.

 

I kept myself so busy planning and working to win games in the future that I had no time to worry over games that were already lost.

Since I couldn't be sure of controlling myself and my tongue immediately after a defeat, I made it a rule never to see the players right after a defeat. I wouldn't discuss the defeat with them until the next day. By that time, I had cooled off, the mistakes didn't loom so large, and I could talk things over calmly and the men wouldn't get angry and try to defend themselves.

I tried to inspire players by building them up with praise instead of tearing them down with faultfinding. I tried to have a good word for everybody.

 

I have a rule: never to fret over a problem until it is at least a week old.

"More than to anything else, I owe whatever success I have had to the power of settling down to the day's work and trying to do it well to the best of my ability and letting the future take care of itself."

"One at a time, gentlemen, one at a time."

 

For any sorrow there is only one medicine, better and more reliable than all the drugs in the world: work! 

 

 

THE QUICK AND EASY WAY TO EFFECTIVE SPEAKING

 

Part One

Fundamentals of Effective Speaking

 

1. Acquiring the Basic Skills

 

FIRST/TAKE HEART FROM THE EXPERIENCE OF OTHERS

 

SECOND/KEEP YOUR GOAL BEFORE YOU

 

"If you care enough for a result, you will most certainly attain it."

 

THIRD/PREDETERMINE YOUR MIND TO SUCCESS

 

The will to succeed must be a vital part of the process of becoming an effective speaker.

 

To succeed in this work, you need the qualities that are essential in any worthwhile endeavor: desire amounting to enthusiasm, persistence to wear away mountains, and the sefl-assurance to believe you will succeed.

 

Throw every shred of negative thought into the consuming fires and slam doors of steel upon every escape into the irresolute past.

 

FOURTH/SEIZE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO PRACTICE

 

When George Bernard Shaw was asked how he learned to speak so compellingly in public, he replied: "I did it the same way I learned to skate -- by doggedly asking a fool of myself until I got used to it."

 

"The spirit of adventure." I told him, and I talked to him a little about a path to success, through public speaking, and the warming up, the unfolding, of one's personality.

 

2. Developing Confidence

 

FIRST/GET THE FACTS ABOUT FEAR OF SPEAKING IN PUBLIC

 

Fact Number One:

You are not unique in your fear of speaking in public.

Fact Number Two:

A certain amount of stage fright is useful! It is nature's way of preparing us to meet unusual challenges in our environment.

Fact Number Three:

Many professional speakers have assured me that they never completely lose all stage fright.

Fact Number Four:

The chief cause of your fear of public speaking is simply that you are unaccustomed to speak in public. 

SECOND/PREPARE IN THE PROPER WAY

 

NEVER MEMORIZE A TALK WORD BY WORD

 

All our lives we have been speaking spontaneously. We haven't been thinking of words. We have been thinking of ideas. If our ideas are clear, the words come as naturally and unconsciously as the air we breathe.

 

ASSEMBLE AND ARRANGE YOUR IDEAS BEFOREHAND

 

"Brood over your topic until it becomes mellow and expansive... then put all these ideas down in writing, just a few words, enough to fix the idea... put them down on scraps of paper -- you will find it easier to arrange and organize these lose bits when you come to set your material in order."

 

REHEARSE YOUR TALK WITH YOUR FRIENDS

 

THIRD/PREDETERMINE YOUR MIND TO SUCCESS

 

LOSE YOURSELF IN YOUR SUBJECT

 

KEEP YOUR ATTENTION OFF NEGATIVE STIMULI THAT MAY UPSET YOU

 

GIVE YOURSELF A PEP TALK

 

When negativism is most likely to tear down self-confidence completely, you should give yourself a pep talk. In clear, straightforward terms tell yourself that your talk is the right one for you, because it comes out of your experience, out of your thinking about life. Say to yourself that you are more qualified than any member of the audience to give this particular talk and, by George, you are going to do your best to put it across.

 

FOURTH/ACT CONFIDENT

 

Breathe deeply for thirty seconds before you ever face your audience. The increased supply of oxygen will buoy you up and give you courage. The great tenor, Jean de Reszke, used to say that when you had your breath so you "could sit on it" nervousness vanished.

 

At the outset almost every man is frightened when he goes into action, but the course to follow is for the man to keep such a grip on himself that he can act just as if he were not frightened. After this is kept up long enough, it changes from pretense to reality, and the man does in very fact become fearless by sheer dint of practicing fearlessness when he does not feel it.

 

"By acting as if I were not afraid I gradually ceased to be afraid."

 

3. Speaking Effectively the Quick and Easy Way

 

FIRST/SPEAK ABOUT SOMETHING YOU HAVE EARNED THE RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT THROUGH EXPERIENCE OR STUDY

 

TELL US WHAT LIFE HAS TAUGHT YOU

 

LOOK FOR TOPICS IN YOUR BACKGROUND

Early Years and Upbringing.

Early Struggles to Get Ahead.

Hobbies and Recreation.

Special Areas of Knowledge.

Unusual Experiences.

Beliefs and Convictions.

 

SECOND/BE SURE YOU ARE EXCITED ABOUT YOUR SUBJECT

 

THIRD/BE EAGER TO SHARE YOUR TALK WITH YOUR LISTENERS

 

... he, indeed, had a misson.

 

Part Two

Speech, Speaker, and Audience

 

4. Earning the Right to Talk

 

There are four ways to develop speech material that guarantees audience attention:

 

FIRST/LIMIT YOUR SUBJECT

 

You must limit and select before you begin, narrow your subject down to an area that will fit the time at your disposal.

 

In a short talk, less than five minutes in duration, all you can expect is to get one or two main points across. In a longer talk, up to thirty mimutes, few speakers ever succeed if they try to cover more than four or five main ideas.

 

SECOND/DEVELOP RESERVE POWER

 

"I can teach you in ten minutes how to take out an appendix. But it will take me four years to teach you what to do if something goes wrong." So it is with speaking: Always prepare so that you are ready for any emergency, such as a change of emphasis because of a previous speaker's remarks, or a well-aimed question from the audience in the discussion period following your talk.

 

You can acquire reserve power by selecting your topic as soon as possible. Don't put it off until a day or two before you have to speak. If you decide on the topic early you will have the inestimable advantage of having your subconscious mind working for you. At odd moments of the day when you are free from your work, you can explore your subject, refine the ideas you want to convey to your audience. Time ordinarily spent in reverie while you are driving home, waiting for a bus, or riding the subway, can be devoted to mulling over the subject matter of your talk. It is during this incubation period that flashes of insight will come, just because you have determined your topic far in advance and your mind subconsciously works over it.

 

THIRD/FILL YOUR TALK WITH ILLUSTRATIONS AND EXAMPLES

 

"Only stories are really readable."

 

Five ways of using illustrative material:

 

HUMANIZE YOUR TALK

 

One of the most interesting things in the world is sublimated, glorified gossip.

 

PERSONALIZE YOUR TALK BY USING NAMES

 

BE SPECIFIC -- FILL YOUR TALK WITH DETAIL

 

DRAMATIZE YOUR TALK BY USING DIALOGUE

 

VISUALIZE BY DEMONSTRATING WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT

 

FOURTH/USE CONCRETE, FAMILIAR WORDS THAT CREATE PICTURES

 

5. Vitalizing the Talk

 

FIRST/CHOOSE SUBJECTS YOU ARE EARNEST ABOUT

 

If a speaker believes a thing earnestly enough and says it earnestly enough, he will get adherents to his cause.

 

Almost all speakers wonder whether the topic they have chosen will interest the audience. There is only one way to make sure that they will be interested: stoke the fires of your enthusiasm for the subject and you will have no difficulty holding the interest of a group of people.

 

SECOND/RELIVE THE FEELINGS YOU HAVE ABOUT YOUR TOPIC

 

THIRD/ACT IN EARNEST

 

This principle of "warming up our reactivity" can be applied to all situations that demand mental awareness. ..."breezed through life with a bounce, vigor, dash, and enthusiasm which became his trademark. He was absorbingly interested, or effectively pretended he was, in everything he tackled." Teddy Roosevelt was a living exponent of the philosophy of William James: "Act in earnest and you will become naturally earnest in all you do."

 

6. Sharing the Talk with the Audience

 

Successful communication depends upon how well the speaker can make his talk a part of the listeners and the listeners a part of the talk.

 

FIRST/TALK IN TERMS OF YOUR LISTENERS' INTERESTS

 

SECOND/GIVE HONEST, SINCERE APPRECIATION

 

THIRD/IDENTIFY YOURSELF WITH THE AUDIENCE

 

FOURTH/MAKE YOUR AUDIENCE A PARTNER IN YOUR TALK

 

FIFTH/PLAY YOURSELF DOWN

 

An audience is quick in taking the measure of a speaker who assumes that he is superior in mental accomplishment or in social standing. Indeed, one of the best ways for a speaker to endear himself to an audience is to play himself down.

 

The surest way to antagonize an audience is to indicate that you consider yourself to be above them. When you speak, you are in a showcase and every facet of your personality is on display. The slightest hint of braggadocio is fatal. On the other hand, modesty inspires confidence and good will. You can be modest without being apologetic. Your audience will like and respect you for suggesting your limitations as long as you show you are determined to do your best.

 

"He never tried to dazzle people with his exclusive knowledge. He merely tried to enlighten them with his inclusive sympathy."

 

Part Three

The Purpose of Prepared and Impromptu Talks

 

Success in the use of either the extemporaneous or the impromptu method is most assured when the speaker has clearly formulated in his mind the general purpose of a talk. 

 

7. Making the Short Talk to Get Action

 

Every talk, regardless of whether the speaker realizes it or not, has one of four major goals:

a. To persuade or get action.

b. To inform.

c. To impress and convince.

d. To entertain.

 

The Magic Formula:

 

FIRST/GIVE YOUR EXAMPLE, AN INCIDENT FROM YOUR LIFE

 

Psychologists say we learn in two ways: one, by the Law of Exercise, in which a series of similar incidents leads to a change of our behavioral patterns; and two, by the Law of Effect, in which a single event may be so startling as to cause a change in our conduct.

 

BUILD YOUR EXAMPLE UPON A SINGLE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

 

START YOUR TALK WITH A DETAIL OF YOUR EXAMPLE

 

Some speakers fail to get attention with their opening words because all too often these words consist only of repetitious remarks, cliches, or fragmentary apologies that are of no interest to the audience.

 

FILL YOUR EXAMPLE WITH RELEVANT DETAIL

 

RELIVE YOUR EXPERIENCE AS YOU RELATE IT

 

SECOND/STATE YOUR POINT, WHAT YOU WANT THE AUDIENCE TO DO

 

MAKE THE POINT BRIEF AND SPECIFIC

 

MAKE THE POINT EASY FOR LISTENERS TO DO

 

STATE THE POINT WITH FORCE AND CONVICTION

 

THIRD/GIVE THE REASON OR BENEFIT THE AUDIENCE MAY EXPECT

 

BE SURE THE REASON IS RELEVANT TO THE EXAMPLE

 

BE SURE TO STRESS ONE REASON AND ONE ONLY

 

8. Making the Talk to Inform

 

FIRST/RESTRICT YOUR SUBJECT TO FIT THE TIME AT YOUR DISPOSAL

 

SECOND/ARRANGE YOUR IDEAS IN SEQUENCE

 

THIRD/ENUMERATE YOUR POINTS AS YOU MAKE THEM

 

FOURTH/COMPARE THE STRANGE WITH THE FAMILIAR

 

TURN A FACT INTO A PICTURE

 

AVOID TECHNICAL TERMS

 

It is a good practice to pick out the least intelligent-looking person in the audience and strive to make that person interested in your argument. This can be done only by lucid statements of fact and clear reasoning. An even better method is to center your talk on some small boy or girl present with parents.

 

Say to yourself -- say out loud to your audience, if you like -- that you will try to be so plain that the child will understand and remember your explanation of the question discussed, and after the meeting be able to tell what you have said.

 

Aristotle: "Think as wise men do, but speak as the common people do."

 

FIFTH/USE VISUAL AIDS

 

"One seeing," says an old Japanese proberb, "is better than a hundred times telling about."

 

9. Making the Talk to Convince

 

FIRST/WIN CONFIDENCE BY DESERVING IT

 

"The sincerity with which a man speaks imparts to his voice a color of truth no perjurer can feign."

 

Especially when the purpose of our talk is to convince, it is necessary to set forth our own ideas with the inner glow that comes from sincere conviction. We must first be convinced before we attempt to convince others.

 

SECOND/GET A YES-RESPONSE

 

"My way of opening and winning an argument," confided Lincoln, "is to first find a common ground of agreement."

 

We sometimes find ourselves changing our minds without any resistance or heavy emotion, but if we are told we are wrong we resent the imputation and harden our hearts. We are incredibly heedless in the formation of our beliefs, but find ourselves filled with an illicit passion for them when anyone proposes to rob us of their companionship. It is obviously not the ideas themselves that are dear to us, but our selfesteem which is threatened. The little word my is the most important one in human affairs, and properly to reckon with it is the beginning of wisdom. It has the same force whether it is my dinner, my dog, and my house, or my faith, my country and my God. We not only resent the imputation that our watch is wrong, or our car shabby, but that our conception of the canals of Mars, of the pronunciation of "Epictetus," of the medicinal value of salicine, or of the date of Sargon I, are subject to revision... We like to continue to believe what we have been accustomed to accept as true, and the resentment aroused when doubt is cast upon any of our assumptions leads us to seek every manner of excuse for clinging to it. The result is that most of our so-called reasoning consists in funding arguments for going on believing as we already do.

 

THIRD/SPEAK WITH CONTAGIOUS ENTHUSIASM

 

When your aim is to convince, remember it is more productive to stir emotions than to arouse thoughts. Feelings are more powerful than cold ideas. To arouse feelings one must be intensely in earnest.

 

If you would impress an audience, be impressed yourself, Your spirit, shining through your eyes, radiating through your voice, and proclaiming itself through your manner, will communicate itself to your audience.

 

FOURTH/SHOW RESPECT AND AFFECTION FOR YOUR AUDIENCE

 

FIFTH/BEGIN IN A FRIENDLY WAY

 

Since pride is such a fundamentally explosive characteristic of human nature, wouldn't it be the part of wisdom to get a man's pride working for us, instead of against us? How? By showing that th ething we propose is very similar to something that our opponent already believes. That renders it easier for him to accept than to reject your proposal. That prevents contradictory and opposing ideas from arising in the mind to vitiate what we have said.

 

10. Making Impromptu Talks

 

FIRST/PRACTICE IMPROMPTU SPEAKING

 

SECOND/BE MENTALLY READY TO SPEAK IMPROMPTU

 

Condition yourself mentally to speak impromptu on all occasions.

 

Just as an airline pilot readies himself to act with cool precision in an emergency by continually posing to himself problems that could arise at any moment, the man who shines as an impromptu speaker prepares himself by making countless talks that are never given. Such talks really are not "impromptu"; they are talks with general preparation.

 

THIRD/GET INTO AN EXAMPLE IMMEDIATELY

 

The incident-example is a sure-fire method of capturing attention immediately.

 

FOURTH/SPEAK WITH ANIMATION AND FORCE

 

Once we get the body charged up and animated, we very soon will get the mind functioning at a rapid pace. So my advice to you is to throw yourself with abandon into your talk and you will help to insure your success as an impromptu speaker.

 

FIFTH/USE THE PRINCIPLE OF THE HERE AND NOW

 

There are three sources from which you can draw ideas for an impromptu speech.

 

First is the audience itself.

The second is the occasion.

Lastly, if you have been an attentive listener, you might indicate your pleasure in something specific another speaker said before you and amplify that. The most successful impromptu talks are those that are really impromptu. They express things that the speaker feels in his heart about the audience and the occasion.

 

SIXTH/ DON'T TALK IMPROMPTU -- GIVE AN IMPROMPTU TALK

 

Part Four

The Art of Communicating

 

11. Delivering the Talk

 

FIRST/CRASH THROUGH YOUR SHELL OF SELF-CONSCIOUSNESS

 

Once you let your hair down before a group you are not likely to hold yourself back when it comes to the normal, everyday expression of your opinions whether to individuals or before groups.

 

SECOND/DON'T TRY TO IMITATE OTHERS -- BE YOURSELF

 

Everything depends upon the manner in which one speaks and not upon the matter.

 

THIRD/CONVERSE WITH YOUR AUDIENCE

 

A good window does not call attention to itself. It merely lets in the light. A good speaker is like that. He is so disarmingly natural that his hearers never notice his manner of speaking: they are conscious only of his matter.

 

FOURTH/PUT YOUR HEART INTO YOUR SPEAKING

 

FIFTH/PRACTICE MAKING YOUR VOICE STRONG AND FLEXIBLE

 

 

 

Part Five

The Challenge of Effective Speaking

 

12. Introducing Speakers, Presenting and Accepting Awards

 

FIRST/THOROUGHLY PREPARE WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO SAY

 

SECOND/FOLLOW THE T-I-S FORMULA

 

T stands for Topic, I stands for Importance, S stands for Speaker.

 

THIRD/BE ENTHUSIASTIC

 

When you do pronounce the speaker's name at the very end of the introduction it is well to remember the words, "pause," "part," and "punch."

 

One more caution: when you do enunciate the speaker's name, don't turn to him, but look out over the audience until the last syllable has been uttered; then turn to the speaker.

 

FOURTH/BE WARMLY SINCERE

 

FIFTH/THOROUGHLY PREPARE THE TALK OF PRESENTATION

 

1. Tell why the award is made.

2. Tell something of the group's interest in the life and activities o fthe person to be honored.

3. Tell how much the award is deserved and how cordially the group feels toward the recipient.

4. Congratulate the recipient and convey everyone's good wishes for the future.

 

SIXTH/EXPRESS YOUR SINCERE FEELINGS IN THE TALK OF ACCEPTANCE

 

1. Give a warmly sincere "thank you" to the group.

2. Give credit to others who have helped you, your associates, employers, friends, or family.

3. Tell what the gift or award means to you.

4. End with another sincere expression of your gratitude.

 

13. Organizing the Longer Talk

 

FIRST/GET ATTENTION IMMEDIATELY

BEGIN YOUR TALK WITH AN INCIDENT-EXAMPLE

AROUSE SUSPENSE

STATE AN ARRESTING FACT

ASK FOR A SHOW OF HANDS

PROMISE TO TELL THE AUDIENCE HOW THEY CAN GET SOMETHING THEY WANT

USE AN EXHIBIT

 

SECOND/AVOID GETTING UNFAVORABLE ATTENTION

DO NOT OPEN WITH AN APOLOGY

AVOID THE "FUNNY" STORY OPENING

 

THIRD/SUPPORT YOUR MAIN IDEAS

USE STATISTICS

USE THE TESTIMONY OF EXPERTS

USE ANALOGIES

USE A DEMONSTRATION WITH OR WITHOUT AN EXHIBIT

 

FOURTH/APPEAL FOR ACTION

SUMMARIZE

ASK FOR ACTION

Ask them to do something specific.

 

14 Applying What You Have Learned

 

FIRST/USE SPECIFIC DETAIL IN EVERYDAY CONVERSATION

 

SECOND/USE EFFECTIVE SPEAKING TECHNIQUES IN YOUR JOB

 

THIRD/SEEK OPPORTUNITIES TO SPEAK IN PUBLIC

 

FOURTH/YOU MUST PERSIST

 

FIFTH/KEEP THE CERTAINTY FO REWARD BEFORE YOU