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[转载]2020年7月天津高考英语书面表达解析

(2021-02-10 21:36:36)
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[转载]2020年7月天津高考英语书面表达解析


2020年7月天津高考英语书面表达解析
[原题回放]
假设你是晨光中学高三学生李津。你校于68日举办了成人礼活动,你的英国朋友Chris很想了解该活动。你于当晚给Chris回一封电子邮件,介绍相关情况,内容包括:

1)成人礼活动内容(成长点滴回顾、观看校友抗疫事迹录像等);

2)对活动的感受;

3)对自己未来的展望。

注意:

1)词数不少于100

2)可适当加入细节,使内容充实、行文连贯;

3)开头已给出,不计入总词数。

参考词汇:

成人礼 the coming-of-age ceremony

新冠脑炎 COVID-19

Dear Chris,

I’m so glad to hear from you. _____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

Yours,

Li Jin

[审题]
1-定文体:题目提示中已经明确说明,要求考生写一个电子邮件。电子邮件类似书信体裁,因此行文格式和行文语气均可以套用书信体裁的要求。
2-定要点:1)要写明成人仪式举办的时间地点;2)活动内容(两点);3)自己或大家的感受;4)自己对未来的展望。
3-定结构:三段式是经典的英语作文结构,层次清楚,收放自如。第一段就可以接着已经给出的句子,再写一句,起到承上启下,引出第二段的主要内容;第二段主要写有关成人礼的事情和自己或大家的感受;第三段写自己对未来的期望。
4-定时态:本文主要时态为现在时和将来时,但在叙述成人礼时可以用过去时态。
5-定人称:本文人称需要用第一人称。
[参考范文]

Dear Chris,

I'm glad to hear from you. Now I would like to tell you something about the coming-of-age ceremony held in my school on June 8.

At today's ceremony we watched a video where we saw the graduates from our school played an active part in fighting against the COVID-19. Besides, we also recalled how we have grown up to be what we are today, for which we owe much gratitude to both teachers and parents. The ceremony did give us the feeling that we are no longer the children relying on adults for everything. We are grownups now who bear the responsibility of making our country stronger. With this mission in my mind, I'm determined to work harder as a university student so that I will be more prepared to make contributions for my country.(129)

Yours,

Li Jin

[范文解读]
范文虽然写成了两段,但是,因为With this mission in my mind,...中this mission 与前一句话有比较明确的指代关系,因此,将“自己对未来的展望”写在第二段结尾,也就显得文章整体更加紧凑,上下文连接也更自然。
范文中使用了一些较复杂的结构,如held in my school on June 8为过去分词短语作定语;where we saw the graduates from our school played an active part in fighting against the COVID-19定语从句中含有宾语从句;what we are today表语从句;for which we owe much gratitude to both teachers and parents非限制性定语从句;that we are no longer the children relying on adults for everything.同位语从句且含有现在分词短语作定语;so that I will be more prepared to make contributions for my country目的状语从句。
同时,我们也可以看到,范文使用了较丰富的词汇和语块(短语)。如play an active part in, fight against, grow up, owe much gratitude to, no longer, rely on, bear the responsibility of, be determined to do, make contributions to等等。短语优先原则得到很好的遵循,有利于完美表达题目对内容的要求。

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