Vocabulary:

sonogram n. 声波图

bossy adj. 有控制欲的

feminine adj.女性的；娇柔的

masculine adj. 男性的，男子气概的

identity n.特性

reflected v. 反射（过去时）

boasting n./v. 吹嘘

in contrast 与此相反

influence v. 影响

emphasize v. 强调

status n. 地位

different ways of talking 

1   A few hours after Joy Fisher's birth, her parents took pictures of her. Joy's mother dressed her in a cute little pink dress so that everyone who saw the picture would know that the new baby was a girl. Even before she was born, Joy's parents knew that she was going to be a female. When Joy's mother was six month pregnant, she got a sonogram, or picture of the baby. When the doctor said, " I'm sure you have a little lady in there," Joy's parents told all their relatives and friends that their baby was a girl. Gifts soon arrived, including pink dresses and dolls. Joy's parents decorated her room in pink and white.

Joy Fisher 出生后的几个小时，她的父母给她拍了照片。Joy的妈妈给她穿上了一条可爱的小粉裙，所有看到照片的人因此知道这个刚出生的小宝宝是个女孩。甚至在Joy出生之前，她的父母就知道她会是个女孩。当Joy的妈妈怀孕五个月的时候，她去照了声波图。当医生告诉她说：“我确定你怀了一个小公主”的时候，Joy的父母就告诉了所有的亲戚和朋友孩子是个姑娘。礼物很快就送到了，包括粉色的裙子和娃娃。Joy的父母把她的房间用粉色和白色装点了起来。

2  A few years later, Joy's brother Tommy was born. His room was painted blue, and he received books and football as gifts. Joy enjoyed helping her mother take care of the new baby. She also enjoyed playing with other girls at school. Now Tommy has also entered school, where he plays with other boys. The games Joy and Tommy play are quite different. Joy love jumping rope withe her two best friends. Tommy likes to play ball with a large group of boys. Sometimes, when they play a game, he is the captain. He enjoys telling the other boys what to do. Joy, on the other hand, doesn't like it when new girls join her friends and try to change the way they jump rope. She thinks that some of these girls are too bossy. 

几年之后，Joy的弟弟Tommy降生。他的房间被刷成蓝色，并且收到了书和橄榄球作为礼物。Joy乐于帮助她妈妈照顾新生儿。她也喜欢和学校里的其他女孩一起玩。现在Tommy也进入了学校。在学校，他和其他的男孩子一起玩。Joy和Tommy玩的游戏截然不同。Joy喜欢和她另外两个最好的朋友一起跳绳。Tommy喜欢和一大堆男孩一起玩球。有时，Tommy在游戏里充当队长的角色。他喜欢告诉其他男孩该怎么做。Joy则相反，她不喜欢新的女孩加入并且来改变她们原本跳绳的方法。她觉得她们当中的一些人控制欲太强。

3  Both Joy and Tommy are growing up in the culture of the Unit States. They are learning what it means to be a girl and a boy in this culture. Their sex at birth, female and male, is now becoming a gender- a way of thinking, speaking and acting that is considered feminine and masculine. Each culture has its own way to defining gender, and very easily in life gender become a basic part of a person's identity. According to Deborah Tannen, a professor of Georgetown University, gender differences are even reflected in the ways that men and women use language. Tannen and others who study communication believe that these differences begin early in life.

Joy 和Tommy都成长在美国文化里。她们正在学习怎么成为大家认可中的男孩和女孩。她们在出生时的性别，逐渐转变成性向——女性色彩和男性色彩的思考、讲话和表现方式。各种文化都有其自己区分性向的的方式，并且在生命早期的时候就变成了个人特点的一部分。根据乔治城大学的教授Deborah Tannen的观点，性别差异伸直反应在男人和女人使用预言的方式上。Tannen和其他学习语言交流的人相信，这些区别在生命早期就出现了。

4  For example, in the Unite States and Canada, boys and girls usually play in same-sex groups. Boys might play in large groups in witch every boy knows his place.  Some are leaders, others are followers. Boys compete one another for leadership. Many boys like to get attention by boasting, or talking about how well they can do things.  The game they play often have complicated rules, and each boy tried hard to win. 

举个例子，在美国和加拿大，男孩和女孩通常和自己同性别的人一起玩。男孩一般会在一个每个人知道自己位置的大团队中玩。他们当中一些人是领导者，其他是跟随者。男孩子会互相竞争、比较领导能力。许多男孩会通过吹牛或者聊他们做得如何好来吸引注意。他们玩的游戏通常都有比较复杂的规则，并且每个男孩都会非常努力去赢得胜利。

5 Girls, in contrast, usually play in smaller groups. Sometimes ,they only play with one or two "best friends". Most girls want other girls to like them, and this is more important to them than winning. Girls may be interested in playing fairly and takin turns. For example, when girls jump rope together, two girls hold the rope while others jump. Then the rope holders take their turn jumping. 

女孩子们则相反，通常他嗯喜欢在一个比较小的群体中玩。有时候，她们只和一到两个“最好的朋友”一起玩。大部分女孩希望得到其他女孩的喜爱，这件事本身比获胜更重要。女孩们或许对“玩得公平”和“轮流玩”更感兴趣。比如说，当女孩们一起玩跳大绳的时候，当其他女孩跳时，有两个女孩会拿着绳子。接下来她们会交换位置。

6 Tannen has found these differences are reflected in the ways that children use language while they play. Boys often use commands when they talk to each other. For instance, when Tommy is captain, he might say," You go first, don't wait for me." As the leader of other boys, he tells them exactly what to do. But when Joy wants to influence her friends, she uses different forms of language. Instead using of commands, she will say,"Let's try it this way. Let's do this." This is how she tried to direct the other girls without sounding bossy. By using the form "let's", she also emphasizes the fact that girls all belong to the same group. 

Tannen发现这些区别被反应在孩子们玩耍时使用的语言上。男孩们通常在交谈时使用命令的句式。 比如说，当Tommy是对长时，他或许会说“你先走，别等我“。作为其他男孩子的领袖，他准确告诉他们该做什么。但是当Joy想要影响她的朋友时，她使用不同的方式。比起用命令，她会说”让我们这样试试。让我们一起来做这个吧“。这是她试图领导其他女孩但又不会显得太过有控制欲的方法。通过用”让我们“，她还强调了所有的女孩都属于这个群体的状况。

7  As Joy and Tommy grow up, they will continue to speak differently. In junior high school, Joy's status will depend on her circle of friends. If her friends are popular, then Joy might enjoy high status at school. For this reason, Joy and many other girls are interested in gossip. If Joy has some information to share about a popular girl at school, this proves that she has friendship with this girl. In this way, Joy can use gossip to gain more status in her school. 

伴随着Joy和Tommy的成长，他们还会继续用不同的方式说话。在高中第一年，Joy的地位将被她的朋友圈决定。如果她的朋友很受欢迎，Joy或许可以享受她在学校的地位。出于这个原因，Joy和其他的许多女孩会对八卦产生兴趣。如果Joy有关于学校里一个很受欢迎的女孩的信息，着说明她和这个女孩的友谊。通过这个方法，Joy可以利用八卦来得到更多在学校里的地位。

8 Tommy on the other hand, may be less interested in gossip. His status does not depend on who his friends are at school. Tommy gains status through his own ability to play sports well or earn high grades. Later in life, Joy may continue to be interested in talking about other people and their lives. Tommy will be less interested in personal talk and more concerned with discussions of sports and news. These give him a chance to gain status by showing others his knowledge.

另一方面，Tommy可能对八卦并不感兴趣。他的地位不基于他的朋友是谁。Tommy通过在运动和学习上的能力来巩固地位。将来，Joy或许会继续对聊别人的事情感兴趣。Tommy则对聊天不感兴趣，他更顾虑体育和新闻。这些东西给他通过展示自己学识来获得地位的机会。

9 Different ways of speaking are part of gender. As adults, men and women sometimes face difficulties in their communication with each other. Studies of communication show that if a woman tells her husband about a problem, she will expect him to listen and offer sympathy. She may be annoyed when he simply tells her how to solve the problem. Similarly, a husband may be annoyed when his wife wants to stop and asks a stranger for directions of a park or restaurant. Unlike his wife, he would rather use a map and find his way by himself.

不同的说话方式只是性别差异的一部分。作为成年人，男人和女人有时候会面临一些互相间沟通上的麻烦。交流学上的研究表明，如果一个女人向他的丈夫讲了一个麻烦，她会希望他倾听并且给予同情。她可能会因为丈夫简单粗暴地给出解决方法而生气。相同的，一个丈夫或许会因为妻子停下脚步去问一个陌生人公园或餐馆的位置而感到生气。与他的妻子不同，男人更倾向用地图来自己找到路。

10  Language is also part of the different way that men and women think about friendship. Most North America men believe friendship means doing things together such as camping or playing tennis. Talking is not an important part of friendship for most of them. American women, on the other hand, usually identify their best friend as someone with whom they talk frequently. Tannen believes that for women, talking with friends and agreeing with them is very important. Tanner has found that women, in contrast to men, often use tag questions. For example, a woman might say," This is a great restaurant, isn't it?" By adding a tag question to her speech("isn't it?"), she is giving other people a chance to agree with her. Likewise, many women use polite form-" Can you close the door?" "Could you help me?""Would you come here?" Men however, often speak more directly, giving direct commands--"Close the door.""Help me.""Come here."

语言也是男人女人看待友谊的不同方式的体现。大部分北美男人相信，友谊意味着在一起做一些事情，像是野营或打网球。聊天通常并不是重要的部分。另一方面，美国女人，通常以聊天的高频率来证明和某人是其最好的朋友。Tannen 认为，对于女人，聊天和认同是非常重要的。Tannen发现，和男人相反，女人通常使用附加问句。比如说，女人或许会说：“这餐馆真棒，是吧？”通过加上一个附加问句，她也给了一个别人认同她的机会。同样的，女人们也用更礼貌的方式来请求—“你可以帮我关一下门吗？”“你能帮帮我吗？”“你会来吗？”男人则更直接，直接给出要求——”关门“，”帮我一下“，”过来。“

11  These differences seem to be part of growing up in the culture of the Unite States and following its rules of gender. If men and women can understand that many of their differences are culture, not personal, they may be able to improve their relationships. They may begin to understand that because of gender differences in language, there is more than one way to communicate. 

这些区别看起来是美国文化影响下的成长的一部分，只是追随了关于性别的一些规则。如果男人和女人能够理解这许多的却别是因为文化而不是个人，她们或许可以促进彼此的关系。她们或许可以开始理解，理解这些语言上的性别差异，还是有很多其他方法来沟通的。