The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. 

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

http://s4/bmiddle/62121bcft73d224a9d0f3&690

 

The graph illustrates changes in the amounts of beef, lamb, chicken and fish consumed in a particular European country between 1979 and 2004.

 

In 1979 beef was by far the most popular of these foods, with about 225 grams consumed per person per week. Lamb and chicken were eaten in similar quantities (around 150 grams,) while much less fish was consumed (just over 50 grams).

 

However, during this 25-year period the consumption of beef and lamb fell dramatically to approximately 100 grams and 55 grams respectively. The consumption of fish also declined, but much less significantly to just below 50 grams, so although it remained the least popular food, consumption levels were the most stable.

 

The consumption of chicken, on the other hand, showed an upward trend, overtaking that of lamb in 1980 and that of beef in 1989. By 2004 it had soared to almost 250 grams per person per week.

 

Overall, the graph shows how the consumption of chicken increased dramatically while the popularity of these other foods decreased over the period.

 

这是一道典型的线图，而且趋势也很简单，让我们自信心爆棚的开始吧。再声明一下，第一步确定X轴和Y轴以及第二步分析图形，两者均是采用标准的图形分析法，对所有图表均是一致的（流程图和地图除外），而第三步确定框架确实图形本身的特征来做。

 

第一步：确定X轴和Y轴   线图

X1 有序变量 年代 1979-2004

X2 无序变量食品种类鸡肉、牛排、羊肉、鱼肉

Y  绝对变量人均消耗质量

 

第二步：分析图形

按X2轴分析

当X2为beef时    起始点为225，终点为100，降幅为125

当X2为lamb时    起始点为150，终点为55， 降幅为95

当X2为chicken时 起始点为150，终点为250，涨幅为100

当X2为fish时    起始点为55， 终点为50， 降幅为5

 

按X1轴分析

当X1为起点时  欢迎度排名 beef, lamb chicken, fish

当X1为终点时  欢迎度排名 chicken, beef, lamb, fish

 

第三步：确定框架

从图形的特征来看，趋势很明显，chicken成上升趋势，而其他均称下降趋势，并且其中的beef, lamb两者变化的线条基本上是平行的，那么由此确定可以分为chicken一段, beef, lamb一段, fish一段。范文作者将起点情况还作为单独的一段。

 

题目

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

 

开头段

The graph illustrates changes in the amounts of beef, lamb, chicken and fish consumed in a particular European country between 1979 and 2004.

经典的题目改写，上次谈到的是将题目的名词词组改写成从句，而这句就不同了，改写仍旧是名词词组，让我们来一起看看，本段添加了change in the amount of, 任何信息均谈的是“变化情况”，

consumption of sth 改写成sth consumed, consumption [u], consumed为过去分词作后置定语

 

主体一段

In 1979 beef was by far the most popular of these foods, with about 225 grams consumed per person per week.

本段都是说明起点的情况，先说牛排的情况，说明了两点，消耗量和受欢迎的程度。

by far [adv] 与形容词或副词的比较级和最高级连用，表示强调程度的差异，注意by far有个独特之处是，既可以放在形容词或副词比较级或最高级的前面，也可以放在它们的后面，如 It is by far the best film that I have seen for a long time.

It is the best film by far that I have seen for a long time.

With介词短语表示补充

 

Lamb and chicken were eaten in similar quantities (around 150 grams,) while much less fish was consumed (just over 50 grams).

用while表示对比，把lamb, chicken和fish的情况均作了说明，而且一个much less说明了fish的不受欢迎

 

主体二段

However, during this 25-year period the consumption of beef and lamb fell dramatically to approximately 100 grams and 55 grams respectively.

说明了beef, lamb的下降趋势，由于beef和lamb的下降趋势类似，因此放在一起将

 

The consumption of fish also declined, but much less significantly to just below 50 grams, so although it remained the least popular food, consumption levels were the most stable.

fish情形说明了三个特征：下降，欢迎度最低，消费量很稳定，其中逻辑连接词为 下降，

so although 从句表欢迎度最低，主句表消费量很稳定

表示下降的趋势 fall to + 数字，decline to + 数字：

fall dramatically to 用dramatically 修饰

decline, but much less significantly to 用but much less significantly 修饰

 

主体三段

The consumption of chicken, on the other hand, showed an upward trend, overtaking that of lamb in 1980 and that of beef in 1989.

说明chicken的上涨趋势，表达为show an upward trend

overtake V. 超越，超过

 （overtaking 表明了图表有两个交叉点，如果是“被超越”，这句就可以改成 being overtaken by…… ）

 

By 2004 it had soared to almost 250 grams per person per week.

说明了chicken的终点，注意这里运用了had soared to过去完成时态，不是表示过去的过去，而是表示过去的完成状态 （soar V. 猛增，骤升）

 

结尾段

Overall, the graph shows how the consumption of chicken increased dramatically while the popularity of these other foods decreased over the period.

典型的一句话总结，chicken, increased 而 other foods, decreased

 

遣词造句:这时一篇经典的线图范文，无论从图形和范文结构都很有代表性，写法上采用总分总的写作框架，大家需要好好体会.

 

表示增长下降的表达, 还需注意修饰这些变化的词

下降:fall dramatically to;  decline, but much less significantly to,  decrease

增长:show an upward trend, soar to, increase dramatically;

暗示有交叉点:overtake

 

注意修饰数字的词：about 225 grams, ,approximately 100 grams,  almost 250 grams

just over 50 grams , just below …… grams

 

本文的主题就是消耗，和B6T1一样，也存在消耗的多样表达

225 grams consumed,   （consumed过去分词作后置定语）

lamb and chicken were eaten,    （eat的被动式作谓语）

fish was consumed,    （consume的被动式作谓语）

the consumption of beef and lamb,   （consumption名词）

 

大作文:  《剑桥雅思七》原书写作7.5分例文如下:

　　Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

　 Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fixing punishments for each type of crime has been a debatable issue. There are many arguments supporting both views, those for and those against fixed punishments.

On the one hand, fixed punishments will have a deterring effect on society. Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted with a given crime, will reconsider committing this act in the first place.

This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security, through minimising the number of crimes committed.

If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of a reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts.

On the other hand, taking the circumstances of a crime and its motivation into consideration is a prerequisite for establishing and ensuring justice and equity.

A person killing in self-defense can not be compared to a serial killer, moving from one victim to the next. In my opinion an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity.

There has to be fixed punishment for all crimes. However, criminal laws have to provide for a minimum and maximum for the punishment and the laws also have to foresee certain cases of exemptions.

An example for setting minimum and maximum penalties is competition law where a person being held liable of a crime under this law will be convicted to pay a fine, according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the crime.

As for the exemptions, in some countries the law exempts thiefs stealing food during a period of famine taking into consideration the distress and hunger.

Also, a person killing in self-defense will be exempted from punishment.

《剑桥雅思七》一书提供的雅思考官对该文的点评:该文论证清晰、观点明确、用词和句型丰富多样,除个别地方外,基本准确.但该文的段落分配不够合理,有的段落连接显得混乱.此外,没有明确的结论也是该文的一个不足.

　　以下是经我改正过的范文:

　　To date, imposing a fixed punishment for each type of crime has been a debatable issue. There are many arguments for and against the execution of penalty.

　　On one hand, fixed punishments will have a deterring effect on potential criminals. Individuals will think twice before committing an offence if they know that they will be subjected to a certain punishment if convicted of a given crime. In addition, this deterring effect also helps to enhance social stability and security through minimising the number of crimes committed. On the other hand, if people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of a reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result in criminals getting away with their crime and a high level of injustice could be caused by the subjective approach of different courts.

　　There have to be fixed punishments for all crimes. However, criminal laws have to provide a minimum and maximum for the punishment and the laws should also foresee certain cases of exemptions. One example for setting minimum and maximum penalties is the competition law under which a person held liable for a crime will be convicted to pay a fine according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the crime. As for exemptions, in some countries thieves stealing food during a period of famine are exempted from punishments.

　　Therefore, in my opinion, taking the circumstances of a crime and its motivation into consideration is a prerequisite for the measurement of punishment. A person killing in self-defense can not be compared to a serial killer who moves from one victim to another. Perhaps a balanced approach could be a perfect way to ensure legal justice and equality.

　　修改讲解:

第一段: 1.      原文第一句Fixing punishments for each type of crime has been a debatable issue不如改为To date, imposing a fixed punishment for each type of crime has been a debatable issue更符合英语逻辑和书面表达习惯,而且加上to date显得更为自然些.

　　     2. 原文第二句表达显过于wordy, 改为There are many arguments for and against the execution of penalty较为简练,而且避免了fixed punishment重复使用.

第二段:1.      原文第一句中的on society 说法有些过于笼统,现改为更为具体的potential criminals.

　　     2.      原文第二句表述有些不够流畅,改为Individuals will think twice before committing an offence if they know that they will be subjected to a certain punishment if convicted of a given crime. 原文的will be subject to a certain punishment 改为 will be subjected to a certain punishment更为常见.

第四段: 1.      该段原文的最后一句中的result into 应该为result in才符合英语惯用.

第五、六段:将原文第五六段放到文章结论段更符合行文逻辑.原句中an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way改为 a balanced approach could be a perfect way to ensure legal justice and equality更为简练、准确.

第七段:原文provide后的for 应删掉.

第八段:原文第一句的where用在这里不准确,liable of 应改为liable for.

第九段:原文中的thiefs应为thieves, taking into consideration the distress and hunger用在这里从修辞角度讲指代不够明确.

另外,原文段落过多,显得十分松散.通过合并或调整一些段落,改后的作文更加紧凑,同时也修正了原文缺乏结论段的败笔.

 另一种评析：

现在的年轻人总是会发出“理想很丰满，现实很骨感”这样的感叹，来表达对现实生活的无奈。而在雅思写作考试中，考生们又何尝不会经历这种无奈呢？写作7分是许多考生梦寐以求的分数，但即使是一些外籍教师所撰写的范文，在考官笔下也不过是7-8分！对于国内大多数雅思考生而言，7分似乎是可望而不可及的。那么，究竟怎样的文章，才能得到考官的青睐，最终幸运的得到7分的分数呢？

一．Task response

1. 具体要求

Task response表示任务的完成。在官方给出的评分标准中，7分有这样的要求：

1. Address all parts of the task, ① 回答了题目要求的所有问题。

2. Present a clear position throughout the response,②整篇文章观点鲜明

3. Present, extend and support main ideas, but there may be a tendency to over-generalize and/or supporting ideas may lack focus.。③详细的解释和论证了观点。

 

2. 范例评析

▲ 剑桥雅思全真试题7 Test2 Task2

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

1. 考生需要对题目中的两个相反的观点进行分析，不能只分析自己倾向的观点。即：固定不变的定罪制度有何作用；依据犯罪动机和环境灵活的定罪制度有何作用。

2. 考生需要非常清楚的表明自己的观点，即回答应当如何对犯罪行为定罪。

3. 考生对于题目中两个相反观点的分析需要摆出充足的论据，提出自己的理由并通过例子来证明。

7.5分考生范文选段（原234段）：对固定不变的定罪制度的分析

On the one hand, fixed punishment will have a deterring effect on society. Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted with a given crime will reconsider committing this act in the first place. ‖This deterring effect also leads to social stability and security, through minimizing the number of crimes committed. ‖If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of reason for having committed the crime they are accused of, penal decisions would be largely arbitrary. This would result into criminals getting away with their crimes and into a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts.

1. 观点：固定的惩罚制度对社会有威慑力（fixed punishment will have a deterring effect on society）

2. 理由：考虑犯罪成本（reconsider committing crimes in the first place）

3. 扩展结果：有利于社会稳定（lead to social stability and security through minimizing the number of crimes committed.）

4. 理由：如果没有固定的定罪制度，会使犯罪分子更猖狂。（If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of reason for having committed the crime they are accused of , penal decisions would be largely arbitrary.）

5. 扩展结果：犯罪分子逍遥法外，不利于司法公正。（criminals getting away with their crimes and a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts.）

3. 对策

① 复习真题，找生词

在考题中，经常出现核心词汇的重复，比如：distance learning, criminal等。建议考生们可以在复习写作时，先把近两年的写作题目过一遍，查查生词。这样做可以大大降低考生在作文题中遭遇生词的尴尬，提高审题的准确性。

②掌握不同题型大作文的写作重点

观点类：可以支持、反对、中立，一定要表达自己的观点。论据要充分，举例不可或缺。

分析解决类：所问即所答，重点分析原因，解决方法多角度。

③八大话题，重点突破

在考题中，“教育，科技，环保，全球化，政府，媒体，工作，社会生活”为常考的八大话题。复习重点有以下几方面：1. 每个话题的核心词汇要烂熟于心。2. 每个话题要积累至少两个可以作举例论证的实例。3. 每个话题至少选择两道题目做brainstorming思路拓展练习。4. 每个话题要至少积累两篇范文。5. 每个考生对自己不熟悉的话题，要加强以上练习。

二． Coherence and cohesion

1. 具体要求

Coherence and cohesion意为连贯统一。在官方给出的评分标准中，7分有这样的要求：

1. Logically organizes information and ideas;

 = there is a clear progression throughout    ①文章结构富有逻辑性。

2. Uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately although there may be some under/over-use

②正确使用多种衔接方法。

3. Presents a clear central topic within each paragraph

③每段话的中心思想明确。

2. 范例评析

▲  剑桥雅思全真试题7 Test2 Task2

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should be taken into account when deciding the punishment.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion. 

7.5分考生范文选段：考生回答应当如何对罪犯的犯罪行为定罪。

In my opinion an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity. There have to be fixed punishment for all crimes. However, criminal laws have to provide for a minimum and maximum for the punishment and the laws also have to foresee certain cases of exemptions. An example for setting minimum and maximum penalties is Competition Law where a person being held liable of a crime under this law will be convicted to pay a fine, according to the harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the crime. As for the exemptions, in some countries the law exempts thieves stealing food during a period of famine taking into consideration the distress and hunger. Also, a person killing in self-defense will be exempted from punishment.

1. 中心思想：对于犯罪分子的定罪应该有折中的方法，这才是保证公平公正的方法。（an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity.）

2. 段落结构一分为二：

①固定下来定罪的底线和上线，举例“竞争法”。

②定罪要有免罪的特殊处理。举例“饥荒时偷食物的行为”和“正当防卫”。

3. 衔接的处理：文中加粗的部分（包含连接词，代词等）。

3. 对策

①代词：包括人称代词，物主代词和一些特定的词语。代词的使用能够提高表达的统一性。

②同义词、反义词等意义相互关联的词，恰当使用一些相关或相同概念的词，能达到整篇文章自然扩展的效果。

③连接词：是实现段落内部表达连贯的最主要的手段。它能够增进句与句，或者段与段之间的逻辑关系。