冥王星刑克我的水星觉知的奇妙旅程<一>
 
冥王星刑克我的水星觉知的奇妙旅程<二>
 

冥王星正经过我的第一宫，摩羯座，刑克我第九宫的天秤座水星。所以，做什么取决于我的选择！在中国的这次重新启航是否破坏了我的生活？我的太太呢？还有我的儿子和我的继子？我的家庭？我的小孙女们？还有我在美国的占星工作和我的客户怎么办 —— 许多客户已经向我咨询了20～30年，甚至比这时间更久，我该如何平衡这些事情？这是个天秤座的问题。
 
不否认，我更喜欢来中国，但为什么？比较简单的回答是，在这里的占星教学工作带给我前所未有的满足感甚至超越了80年代的黄金时光——那时我和杰夫·焦耳 Jeff Jawer 一起经营一个占星中心：每日行星（The Daily Planets）。有时候在中国讲座的开场，我会说，“你们认为你们为我而来。而事实上，因为有你们，我才会站在这里！”到底哪个是真相？中国的学生们真的需要我？或是我需要他们？或者我们需要彼此？
 
或者，我只是一位61岁的老人，因为能够向刚刚发现西方占星学的兴奋又年轻的文化领域展现西方占星学的奇妙，借以重温我的青春？我是否该保持原来的生活？我是不是太贪心了？又或者是我在评判自己太贪心？答案到底是什么？冥王星是重生，是回春，也是某种意义上的死亡，或者直面毁灭性的行为。所以，去中国教授占星学是在毁掉我的生活么？我是不是在为自己埋下祸根？
 
另一方面，在我的激情被唤醒之后，我还能回到过去的生活么？还有什么能让我获得如此的满足感？更进一步学习过占星的学员在看到我的本命星盘时都会说，“噢，你的月亮北交点落在第三宫；你是位信使啊。教育、教学、演讲和写作会带给你满足感。”“水星也是信使，这一次，你要满怀激情传递你的讯息。水星在第九宫，预示着全球性或是异国的旅行或是在一个遥远的国度教学，另外你的星盘中有许多的射手座元素，上升点、月亮、火星都在射手座！”这些都是事实，但为什么会是中国？我也许永远都无法找到完整的答案，但我不会停止探求。
 
冥王星是“侦探”，所以我会在这个问题上一探究竟 …… 睁大双眼！我也许就是那个穿着深色外套，在北京的街道上溜达，脑海里纠缠着以上种种想法的美国人。也许这就是有得必有失，有所获，就意味着要面对一些失去，并愿意放弃。在中国越久，我越愿意待在这里。这让我迷惑。谜题远未解开，我会带着这个谜生活。
 
所以如果你看到一位占星师在车流中发呆，那是因为他迷失在冥王星的黑洞里 —— 请提醒我！我还想活久点搞清楚答案！没错，我真的非常喜欢这里。也许，那个九岁的小男孩当年的确知道些什么。也许，我的父亲说的对，我真是疯了。但这位疯狂的占星师特别喜爱他的学生们，并且在中国感受到了前所未有的活力。这里充满了魔力，难以置信，我好像情不自禁希望把我平生所学倾囊相授。真的，这是我的荣耀。尽管我需要面对自己制造的两难取舍，但在这个国度的每一刻都让我分外珍惜，我珍惜能够与大家分享我毕生所学的这个机会。
 
还有什么比这更能满足落于第九宫的天平座水星呢？
 
Pluto is in my 1st House, in Capricorn squaring my Mercury in Libra in the 9th House.  So it’s up to me – the 1st House!  Am I destroying my life as I attempt to recreate my life in China?  What of my wife?  My son, my step-sons? My family?  My granddaughters?  What of my astrology practice, my clients – many who have consulted me for twenty or thirty years or more?  How do I balance these things?  Such a Libra question.  There is no denying that I want to be in China more, but why?  The simple answer is that I experience more fulfillment here teaching astrology than I can remember ever feeling – even during the glory days for me in the 1980’s when Jeff Jawer and I ran an astrology center called The Daily Planets.  Why?  Sometimes at the beginning of a workshop or lecture I will say, “You think you are here because of me.  The truth is, I am here because of you!”  So which is it?  Do the students of astrology in China really need me?  Or do I need them?  Or do we need each other?
 
Or, am I just a 61 year old man vainly attempting to reclaim his youth amidst the excitement of a young culture that has discovered western astrology?  Am I being greedy?  Shouldn’t I simply have stayed contented with my life as if was, or as it is?  Or am I judging my desire by labeling it as greed?  What is the truth?

Pluto is about rebirth, and rejuvenation, but it’s also about dying in some ways too and about confronting destructive behavior.  So?  Am I destroying my life by desiring to be in China more to teach astrology?  Am I planting the seeds of my own destruction? On the other hand, could I really go back to my life as it was now that I’ve experienced such a passionate reawakening?  Besides, what else could I possibly do that offers such fulfillment?
 
Any advanced student of astrology could look at my chart and say “Hey, you’ve got the North Node in the 3rd House; you’re a messenger. Your fulfillment comes from teaching, instruction, lecturing, and writing.”  “Mercury is the messenger planet; this time in your life is one of passionately delivering your message.  Mercury is in your 9th House, indicative of international or foreign travel or teaching in a country far from birth, and your chart is full of Sagittarius, ASC, Moon, and Mars!”  This is true, but why China?  I may never find the complete answer to this, but that won’t stop me from asking or searching.  Pluto is “investigation,” so I’m going to get to the bottom of this somehow…
 
So beware! I may be that American in the dark overcoat passing you on the sidewalk in Beijing obsessing about all of these things.  Perhaps the simple truth is that whenever you desire more there are trade-offs. To gain what one desires means confronting what you are letting go of, and being willing to let go.  The more I am here, the more I want to be here in China.  This truth obsesses me.  I am living this mystery, and it is far from solved.  So, please, if you see this astrologer about to step in front of a passing car or bus because his mind is lost in some dark canyon of Pluto contemplation – please alert me!  I want to live long enough to see how this turns out!  Meanwhile, I love it here.  Maybe that 9 year old boy knew something after all.  Or maybe my Dad was right and I’m just crazy.  Yet, this crazy astrologer loves his students and I’ve never felt more alive than I have in China.  There’s something really incredible going on here, and I am compelled to be a part of it and contribute whatever I can.  It is an honor to be here, really.  Despite dilemmas of my own making, I cherish every moment in this amazing country and the incredible opportunity to share with you what I’ve spent a lifetime learning.  What could be more fulfilling for Mercury in Libra in the 9th House? 

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