风筝

Kite

文/鲁迅

译/黎历

北京的冬季，地上还有积雪，灰黑色的秃树枝丫叉于晴朗的天空中，而远处有一二风筝浮动，在我是一种惊异和悲哀。

In the winter of Beijing, the ground is still covered by snow. Bare tree branches in grayish black color reach out into the sunny sky while a couple of kites are floating in the distant air. I felt a sort of astonishment and sorrow out of the desolate winter scenes.

故乡的风筝时节，是春二月，倘听到沙沙的风轮声，仰头便能看见一个淡墨色的蟹风筝或嫩蓝色的蜈蚣风筝。还有寂寞的瓦片风筝，没有风轮，又放得很低，伶仃地显出憔悴可怜的模样。但此时地上的杨柳已经发芽，早的山桃也多吐蕾，和孩子们的天上的点缀相照应，打成一片春日的温和。我现在在哪里呢？四面都还是严冬的肃杀，而久经诀别的故乡的久经逝去的春天，却就在这天空中荡漾了。

February of early spring was the season for kite flying in my hometown. When you heard the rustling sound of the wind wheel and looked up, you could see a pale inky crab-like kite or a light blue centipede-like kite. More other lonely tile-like kites without the wind wheel flied low and appeared so pitiful and haggard. But at this time of the year, the willows were sprouting and the hickory trees are giving rise to the early buds. They matched with the dotted kites of the children in the sky to fabricate the spring warmth. Where am I now? Winter chill is still felt everywhere. But the long-gone spring is rippling in the sky of my hometown that I’ve departed for long.

但我是向来不爱放风筝的，不但不爱，并且嫌恶它，因为我以为这是没出息孩子所做的玩艺。和我相反的是我的小兄弟，他那时大概十岁内外罢，多病，瘦得不堪，然而最喜欢风筝，自己买不起，我又不许放，他只得张着小嘴，呆看着空中出神，有时竟至于小半日。远处的蟹风筝突然落下来了，他惊呼；两个瓦片风筝的缠绕解开了，他高兴得跳跃。他的这些，在我看来都是笑柄，可鄙的。

But I’ve never been fond of kite flying. Not only I dislike it, but also hate it, because I thought it’s something only kids good for nothing like to do. Contrary to me, my little brother liked the kite flying the most. At about the age of 10 years old, he was always sick and extremely thin. He couldn’t afford to buy his own kite and I didn’t favor him to do so. With his small envious mouth open, what he could do was to look upon the sky and fall into a trance that sometimes lasted even for half a day. He would exclaim at the sudden comedown of a crab-like kite and jump for joy at the unwrapping of the tangled ropes of two tile-like kites. All of these things, in my opinion, were laughable and contemptible.

有一天，我忽然想起，似乎多日不很看见他了，但记得曾见他在后园拾枯竹。我恍然大悟似的，便跑向少有人去的一间堆积杂物的小屋去，推开门，果然就在尘封的什物堆中发现了他。他向着大方凳，坐在小凳上；便很惊惶地站了起来，失了色瑟缩着。大方凳旁靠着一个蝴蝶风筝的竹骨，还没有糊上纸，凳上是一对做眼睛用的小风轮，正用红纸条装饰着，将要完工了。我在破获秘密的满足中，又很愤怒他的瞒了我的眼睛，这样苦心孤诣地来偷做没出息孩子的玩艺。我即刻伸手折断了蝴蝶的一支翅骨，又将风轮掷在地下，踏扁了。论长幼，论力气，他是都敌不过我的，我当然得到完全的胜利，于是傲然走出，留他绝望地站在小屋里。后来他怎样，我不知道，也没有留心。

One day, it suddenly came to my mind that somehow I haven’t seen him around quite often for many days. But I still remembered seeing him gathering the dry bamboo branches in the backyard. It dawned on me what’s happening. I ran to a cabin rarely frequented by us and used for storage. I pushed open the door and found he was buried in piles of dust-covered old junks. Sitting on a small stool and facing the big square one, he was frightened and rose with his face paled and his body crouched. Leaning against the large square stool was the bamboo skeleton of a butterfly kite not yet pasted with paper. On the bench was a pair of small wind wheel to be used for the eyes of butterfly. He was adorning them with red paper and the work will be done soon. On one hand I was satisfied with cracking his secret. On the other hand, I was very furious that he was doing something behind me and took pains to quietly make something only an unpromising child would do. I immediately reached my hand out to break the wing bone of butterfly, and then threw the wind wheel on the ground to trample it flat. As for age and strength, he wasn’t my rival. Of course, after winning an overwhelming victory, I proudly walked out the cabin, leaving him behind in desperation. I didn’t know or didn’t bother to know what happened to him later.

然而我的惩罚终于轮到了，在我们离别得很久之后，我已经是中年。我不幸偶而看到了一本外国的讲论儿童的书，才知道游戏是儿童最正当的行为，玩具是儿童的天使。于是二十年来毫不忆及的幼小时候对于精神的虐杀的这一幕，忽地在眼前展开，而我的心也仿佛同时变了铅块，很重很重地坠下去了。

But my turn of punishment finally came. Long after our parting, at the middle age I came across a book on children published abroad. I began to know that playing game is the most appropriate behavior for children and the toys are the angels for them. So the scene of spiritual murder at my young age that never occurred to me for twenty years suddenly unfolded before my eyes. At the same time my heart was also as if turning into a leaden weight, falling down heavily.

但心又不竟坠下去而至于断绝，它只是很重很重地坠着，坠着。

But in fact it didn’t fall down to break off, but just heavily hanging and hanging there.

我也知道补过的方法的：送他风筝，赞成他放，劝他放，我和他一同放。我们嚷着，跑着，笑着——然而他其时已经和我一样，早已有了胡子了。

I also know the avenues for the make-up of a mistake: to send him a kite, to favor his kite flying, to advise him and to fly kite along with him. And we are shouting, running and laughing - but now, just like me, he has been a grown man with beard for long.

我也知道还有一个补过的方法的：去讨他的宽恕，等他说，“我可是毫不怪你呵。”那么，我的心一定就轻松了，这确是一个可行的方法。有一回，我们会面的时候，是脸上都已添刻了许多“生”的辛苦的条纹，而我的心很沉重。我们渐渐谈起儿时的旧事来，我便叙述到这一节，自说少年时代的糊涂。“我可是毫不怪你呵。”我想，他要说了，我即刻便受了宽恕，我的心从此也宽松了罢。

I also know another fill-off approach: to beg him for forgiveness and wait for him to say, ‘ah, I’ve never blamed you’. Then, I’ll definitely feel light hearted. It’s really a viable approach. Once when we’ve met, our faces have been engraved with multitudes of wrinkles out of the hardship of ‘life’. But my heart was very heavily burdened. Gradually we talked about the past in our childhood. I led him to this kite flying issue and said I was too silly at these teenage years. ‘Oh, but I’ve never blamed you’. I thought if he would say so, I would immediately be soothed by his forgiveness and my heart would have lightened ever since.

“有过这样的事么？”他惊异地笑着说，就象旁听着别人的故事一样。他什么也记不得了。

‘Was there such a thing?’, he said in an astonished smile, just as if listening to the story of someone else. He’s forgotten everything.

全然忘却，毫无怨恨，又有什么宽恕可言呢？无怨的恕，说谎罢了。

If it’s been completely forgotten and there’s no resentment at all, should there be any forgiveness there? To forgive without hatred is merely a lie.

我还能希求什么呢？我的心只得沉重着。

But what I could expect out of it? My heart has had to be heavy all along.

现在，故乡的春天又在这异地的空中了，既给我久经逝去的儿时的回忆，而一并也带着无可把握的悲哀。我倒不如躲到肃杀的严冬中去罢，——但是，四面又明明是严冬，正给我非常的寒威和冷气。

Now the spring of my hometown is in the air of a strange land again, which triggers my long-lost memory of childhood and unreliable sorrow as well. I might go hide in the chilly winter - but I’m obviously surrounded by chilly winter, that’s giving me very chilly majesty and courage.

一九二五年一月二十四日

January 24, 1925