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   ★★★★

It is the legendary doomsday today. May there be the eternal sunshine in the world’s destiny.

今天是传说中的末日。无论世界命运怎样，但愿有一束永恒阳光。

The Lost and the Regained: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!

The world forgetting, by the world forgot.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!

Each prayer accepted, and each wish resigned.

From Alexander Pope’s “Eloisa to Abelard”

In Alexander Pope’s “Eloisa to Abelard” a story of tragic love affair is presented, where forgetfulness is becoming the heroine’s only comfort of life—the same comfort Lacuna Inc. is struggling to seek throughout the procedure of erasing my memory in order to, in their advertising words, provide the possibility for unhappy people to move on.

Sadly it turns out that the possibility is far from possible.

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I am Joel Barish. To me, the very day I (re-)encountered Clementine in Montauk seemed to be the right key to unfold the picture of life ahead of me. Nevertheless, we were destined to be an estranged couple hurting and parting each other, and start it all over again. So there came the tech of focused erasure of memories, designed especially to get over unwanted and painful recalls.

In love there always seems to be happier times in the relationship with Clem, which I tried to ignore after breaking up and, ironically, attempt to regain in the devastating process of memory erasure. Suffice to say that the memory erasure is a contradicted process: it satisfies the desire to get rid of the unwanted stories, while simultaneously failing the wish to preserve even the tiniest memory of those beautiful days.

But love will leave a trace. I knew this. Once again, there would be the same girl who I couldn’t help falling for. There would be the same joke about her name. There would be the same joy when nestling together on the ice. But would there still be the same fierce quarrel, the same nasty fight, and in the end, the same ruthless goodbye?

Before the moment my memory of her erased into blank, I desperately kept in mind her last reminding words, “Meet me in Montauk.” Then there came my chance to start it all over again.

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Tucked away in our subconsciousness is the idyllic vision in which we devote the most redoubled efforts to maintaining an everlasting romance, until the last destination of life. Or in fact, there is no such final destination, ‘cause when we drag along the way till the very end, things might turn out to be so different from what you expected.

In my deep bewilderment, I heard the tunes resounding around.

I smile when I’m angry,

I cheat and I lie.

I do what I have to do,

To get by.

But I know what is wrong,

And I know what is right.

And I’d die for the truth,

In my secret life.

    From Leonard Cohen’s “In My Secret Life”

Looking into everything having some association with Clem, I couldn’t help crying. After all, you can erase someone from your mind, but getting them out of your heart is something else. Again and again, I would sample the bewildering beauty and existential horror of being trapped inside my own addled mind, and bring about a story allegorizing the self-preserving amnesia of a broken but hopeful heart.

Anyway, what is lost can be regained, in a more polished way. Even if I am meant to be alone, and my heart is like ice, I would not loosen my grip on love. I know what is right. That is, to cherish the eternal sunshine once shared between she and I.

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