Ladies and Gentlemen,

Before I start my speech, I’d like to ask you a question. What was your worst fear when you were a child?  Some of you might say ghosts, or police？ Or even tiger!

Well, for me it was a bit different. My worst fear was not becoming the “perfect kid” that we were expected to be.

Too often, we were told by our parents, teachers and society that we should have got a good grade like that perfect kid. We should have behaved like a model student, who never wasted time on dating.   And we should have been as well-rounded as that perfect kid, who speaks 1 foreign language, plays 2 musical instruments and excels at 3 different sports.  The idea gradually transformed me, as I began to seek sense of accomplishment from exceeding others.

From the very first day of college, I worked as hard as I could to be a straight-A student. In order to catch up with “that perfect kid”, I participated in extra-curricular activities that I wasn’t truly passionate about.    Even in my personal life, I tended to date guys based on their height and attractiveness, as if that was the way to happiness.

But, is it really?

Last Spring Festival, I chose to continue my internship in Beijing instead of going home to spend time with family.   On New Year’s Eve, my mom sent me a family photo where everyone-but-me was having the reunion dinner.  “Sweetheart, how we wish you were here!  But don’t worry about us, work goes first”.

In that picture was my newly-wed cousin who was pregnant with her first baby, my 80 year old grandma whose wrinkles got deeper with each passing year, and my father--a man of few words but whose love meant a whole world to me.

Work goes first? My mom’s encouragement could not even convince herself, much less me. As I thought about the family moments I was missing, I burst into tears and was overwhelmed  by a sense of sadness: Was it what I really want?   Was this need to become the perfect kid really  the source of my happiness?

As I reflected on these questions I decided, that even though out-competing others may give me a sense of fulfillment, it could not give me happiness. Instead, it could only be counted as my last piece of vanity.

Once down that path, I have been in a never-ending chase for better grades, more wealth and higher social status. Along the way, friends became competitors, and family became We-chat friends...

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am not saying we should not strive for excellence. Being competitive is precisely the defining quality of our generation.

But at the end of the day, happiness is not about all of us fitting into one model, or meeting one set standard. It’s about each and every one of us doing the things we truly love.  Each of us, by living our own lives and dreams, adds to the definition of happiness.

Because happiness is not given by others, rather, it is earned by fulfilling the expectations of ourselves.

6. 

To feel happy, be like a child

Usually at this time, I should be standing in the front of a classroom at Zhen Xing Primary School, facing the happy faces of over 50 pupils from the second grade. I’m working with a volunteer English teaching program every week, and teaching those kids on Mondays makes my depressing Sunday nights full of anticipation. I guess the reverse might be the same, so I hope those kids are not missing me too much right now.

Among the people I know, those kids are possibly the happiest people on earth. They laugh when I greet them; they laugh when I’ve made a mistake; and they even laugh when I tell them to keep the flash cards I gave them. Their minds are like sponges, so willing to learn and soak up new information. Their simplicity and innocence make them the first people I think of when I talk about happiness.

Kids can always feel delight for the smallest and the most trivial things, just as we once did. Last year, for our school’s candidate event, we, as candidates, were asked to bring an object that had a sentimental value for us. It’s surprising that most objects were just everyday items. It’s so hard to imagine that these objects could actually bring people such a strong sense of happiness. However, what most objects had in common was that they all carried a piece of someone’s childhood memory. I saw a toy basketball that sparked a boy’s lifelong hobby. I saw a pair of ballet shoes with which a girl learned to dance. And of course, I saw many family photos that were taken when those candidates were young. Does this mean that we can hardly find anything from our current life that is able to make us feel happy? But there is no difference between the world we live in and the world children live in. Then, perhaps it’s because that as we age, we become numb to some of the simple joys in life. There’s nothing wrong about changing as a person, but it seems like the world we see now is far from the one we pictured from our childhood, so the memories from the past become increasingly precious and unique as we’ve become so-called, “mature.”

I’m not sure how much I’ve changed or if my personality is altering in a positive way. However, because our school has provided me with a broad exposure to English, it motivated me to give back and participate in this teaching program. Later, the purely genuine smiles reflected on those children’s faces sparked a curiosity within me. How could those kids feel such ecstatic joy from such simple things like learning English! I then realized that though we are supposed to be slightly more sophisticated in order to deal with real world problems, we do not need to sacrifice our inner child.

When we talk about happiness, we should first talk about not losing some innate qualities like innocence and simplicity. So don’t confine the child inside you, you can always feel free to be who you once were, and you will find happiness all around you.

7.