really ，I don't know what happened to me ,it's very hurt in my waist,what it brings to me is some level unreachable ache.sometimes I need to rolling in my bed to relieve my pain.oh holly shit ,I want to take a break ,and yet now I don't know what will happen to me .did it come from work stress or job searching pressure.I don't buy it.On the contrary ,i feel very well about what  I have now.but it comes to the high latitude about whether this is what I'm seeking for.when I stepped out of the elevator this mind what i means in my head was messing with what I have been through in such recent period of time. I chosed staying here for my job searching and abandoned my affair about relationship ,Really I am happy with these decisions ,but ,now i feel listless, faint and weak.  I  never thought this thing will meet me, here what confused me is i don't know what to do now ,it's the most anoyying feeling. so I think ,some things really matter in specific conditions. just about happy ,if you are coming to death ,you have to sruggle for what the most happy stuff, otherwise you need to endure everything happen in your life . It's so simple ,Every new day is fresh to everyone,but it also is a day closer to death. you will make what in your mind ,it's so complicated ,and u should make a difference in your whole life ,and begin with your attitude, but I feel so weakness now ,I want to shout ,it has some stuck me.Really we all step for death everyday ,but ,you should keep much more clear in your mind ,you are still making your own history ,regardless of others' opinions .you should first responsible to yourself then you have the ability to the world . I just am tired.