How to write good sentences (Part I)

To avoid missing necessary information(避免忽略必要信息)

Though conciseness is a virtue in writing, lack of necessary details often puzzles the reader. Brevity without necessary details causes bewilderment. e.g.

1 Shanghai is said to have about eighteen million

Shanghai is said to have a population of about eighteen million

To avoid choppy sentence(避免断续句)

    Sometimes a simple idea is broken up unnecessarily into two or more sentences.  A succession of such short sentences produces an abrupt, jerky effect and obstructs the flow of thought，for the sentence fail to show the relationship between ideas. The way to improve this choppy style is to join the related ideas into one sentence by using appropriate transitional word. e.g.

1 There was a knock at the door. I asked. Nobody answered.

There was a knock at the door. I asked who it was but no one answered.

To avoid unnatural shifting(避免不自然的转换)

(1) Improper shifting in voice and subject(不恰当的语态与主语的转换)

    A shift from the active to the passive voice often leads to a change in subject．This shift in voice not makes the sentence awkward in structure but sometimes also causes confusion about the agent. e.g.

1 The young man drove the old truck at top speed and motor was damaged.

The young man drove the old truck at top speed and damaged the motor.

(2)Improper shifting in person and number(不恰当的人称与数的转换)

Shifts in person and number are also common in writing．Shift from the third person(he，she，they，one) to the first person (I，we) or second person (you)，and from the singular number(a person，one，he，she) to the plural form (they). These shifts also cause confusion in meaning. e.g.

1 If one has talents，we will likely succeed.

If one has talents，he will likely succeed.

(3)Improper shifting in tense and mood(不恰当的时态与语气转换)

The historical present is generally used in writing about literature. If you start with the historical present，you should not lapse into the past tense. Remember that you should be consistent in the use of tenses.

  A sentence that begins with the past tense should not change to the present tense. This kind of shifting in tense is due to the writer's confusing notion of time and tense.

  A sentence should end in the same mood it begins with. e.g.

1 He worked late into the night but gets up early the next morning

He works late into the night but gets up early the next morning.

(4) Improper shifting in pronouns(不恰当的代词转换)

Confusing pronoun reference detracts from the clarity and precision of writing. It is a common fault because some inexperienced writers tend to ignore or forget the reader. They are clear about whom or what they are referring to when using pronouns such as he，they，it. But they forget that what is clear to them may be confusing to the reader．

  The pronouns “which，this，that，and it”are often used to refer to the general idea of the preceding clause or sentence. If the preceding clause has a noun that might be mistaken for the antecedent the reference may be ambiguous. In such cases，revise the sentence by eliminating the pronoun or giving the pronoun a definite antecedent.

  Indefinite use of pronouns“it，they，and you”should be avoided.

  An implied reference occurs when the antecedent of a pronoun is not expressed but implied in the wording of the preceding statement．Though common in speech，implied reference is not acceptable in writing，which demands greater precision. e.g.

1 Jane told her friend Ann that she had won a scholarship.

Ann，Jane's friend，was told by Jane herself that Jane had won a scholarship.

or: Jane told Ann, her friend, that Ann had won a scholarship.