标签:
杂谈 |
分类: 个人观点 |
Expert Reviewed
How to Read Body Language
Understanding body language can lead to closer relationships since
nonverbal communication constitutes up to 60% of meaning in
interpersonal communication.[1] Noticing the signals that people
send out with their body language and being able to effectively
read those cues is thus a very useful skill. With a little extra
attentiveness, you can learn to accurately read body language, and
with enough practice it can become second nature.
Method One of Five:
Reading Emotional Cues
1
Watch for crying. Crying is considered to be caused by an explosion
of emotion in most cultures. Oftentimes crying is considered a sign
of sadness or grief, but crying can also be an expression of
happiness. Crying can also come about through laughter and humor.
Thus, when assessing crying, you'll need to look for other signals
to determine the appropriate context of the crying.[2]
Crying can also be forced or manipulated in order to gain sympathy
or to deceive others. This practice is known as "crocodile tears",
a colloquial expression that draws on the myth that crocodiles
'cry' when catching prey.[3]
2
Look for signs of anger and/or threat. Signs of threat include
v-shaped brows, wide eyes, and an open or down-turned
mouth.[4]
Arms tightly crossed over the other is a common sign that the
person is angry and is closing himself off to you.[5]
3
Look for signals of anxiety. When people exhibit anxiety, they
display increased blinking and facial movements, and their mouth
stretches into a thin line.[6]
Individuals who are anxious may also fidget and fiddle with their
hands, unable to keep them in one spot.[7]
Anxiety can also be conveyed when people seemingly unconsciously
tap their feet or have jittery legs.[8]
4
Look for expressions of embarrassment. Embarrassment can be
signaled by averting the eyes or shifting them away, turning of the
head, and controlled or even tense smiles.[9]
If someone looks down at the floor a lot, they are probably shy,
timid, or embarrassed. People also tend to look down when they are
upset, or trying to hide something emotional. People are often
thinking and feeling unpleasant emotions when they are in the
process of staring at the ground.
5
Notice any manifestations of pride. People show pride by displaying
a small smile, tilting their head backward, and putting their hands
on their hips.[10]
Method 1 Quiz
What is one display of anger or threatening body language?
Crying.
Glancing at the floor.
Arms crossed tightly across his or her chest.
Increased blinking and jittery movements.
Method Two of Five:
Reading Relational Cues
1
Assess proxemics and haptics, or distancing and touching. This is
one way to communicate the status of an interpersonal relationship.
Physical closeness and touch signal liking, affection, and
love.[11].
People in close relationships require less personal space than with
strangers.[12]
It is worth noting that personal space is culturally fluid; keep in
mind that what is considered close in one country is considered far
away in another.
2
Read the person's eyes. Studies have found that when people are
engaged in an interesting conversation, their eyes remain focused
on their partner's face approximately 80% of the time. They don't
only focus on the other person's eyes, however, but focus on the
eyes for a few minutes, then move down to the nose or lips, then
back up to the eyes. They may look down at table every once in a
while, but they always return to meeting the other person's
eyes.[13]
When people look up and to the right during a conversation, it
usually means they're bored and have already dismissed the
conversation.[14]
Dilated pupils mean that the person is interested in what is going
on. Keep in mind, however, that many substances can cause the
pupils to dilate, including alcohol, cocaine, amphetamines, LSD,
and others.[15]
Eye contact is also frequently used as an indication of
truthfulness. Overly persistent or even aggressive eye contact
suggests that a person is very aware of what messages he is trying
to send out. A person who tries to deceive someone, thus, may
distort his eye contact so that he doesn't appear to be avoiding
it, which is a widely recognized indicator of lying.[16] However,
keep in mind, as noted above, that there is a lot of individual
variation when it comes to evaluating eye contact and lying.
3
Look at the person's posture. If someone rests their arms behind
their neck or head, the person is conveying that he is open to what
is being discussed or may just laid back in general.
Tightly crossed limbs are usually a sign of resistance and low
receptivity to another person. In general, when the body is
arranged in such a manner, this is a sign that a person is
mentally, emotionally, and physically closing themselves off from
another person.[17]
In one study of 2,000 negotiations, which were videotaped to assess
the negotiators' body language, there wasn't an agreement in any
case where one of the participants had his or her legs
crossed.[18]
Method 2 Quiz
What is a common indicator a person is lying?
Close personal contact.
When someone in a conversation looks up and to the right.
Legs are crossed.
Aggressive eye contact.
Dilated pupils.
Method Three of Five:
Reading Attraction Cues
1
Evaluate eye contact. Making eye contact is a sign of attraction,
as is blinking more than the average 6-10 times per
minute.[19][20]
Winking can also be a sign of flirting or attraction. However, keep
in mind that this may be culturally-specific; some Asian cultures
frown upon winking and consider it rude.[21]
2
Watch for certain facial expressions. Smiling is one of the
clearest signs of attraction. Make sure you know how to decipher a
forced smile from a real one. You can tell fake smiles from real
ones because the smile doesn't reach all the way to their eyes.
Genuine smiles usually result in tiny crinkles around a person's
eyes (crow's feet). When people fake smile, you won't see the
wrinkles.[22][23]
Raising the eyebrows has also been observed as a sign of
flirting.[24]
3
Consider the person's posture, gestures, and stance. Generally
people who are attracted to each other try to close the distance to
one another. This may mean leaning forward towards the other person
more but can also be more direct, in the form of touching. A light
tap or stroking of the arm can be a signal of attraction.
Attraction can also be signaled by the person's feet staying
pointed toward or facing the object of his interest.[25]
Palms turned up is another sign of romantic interest because it
suggests openness.[26]
4
Be aware of gender differences in showing attraction. Men and women
can show differences in demonstrating attraction via their body
language.
A man is likely to lead forward and turn his torso toward the
person of his interest, whereas a woman reciprocating attraction
turns her torso away and leans back.[27]
An interested man may lift his hands above his head, angled at 90
degrees.[28]
When a woman shows attraction, both arms may be open, and the hands
may touch the body in the area between the hips and the
chin.[29]
Method 3 Quiz
True or false: A smile that makes one’s eyes
crinkle at the edges is a real smile, and an indication of
attraction.
True.
False.
Method Four of Five:
Reading Power Cues
1
Notice eye contact. Eye contact, a channel of kinesics, is the
primary way that people communicate dominance. People establishing
dominance will take the liberty of staring at and surveying others
while making direct eye contact. They will also be the last person
to break eye contact.[30]
If you're looking to assert your power, keep in mind that constant
eye contact can be intimidating.[31]
2
Assess facial expressions. A person asserting dominance will also
refrain from smiling in order to communicate seriousness and may
instead frown or purse his lips.[32]
3
Evaluate gestures and stance. Gestures can display dominance;
pointing at others and using large gestures is a way to show others
your status. In addition, when someone takes a wider and taller
stance while also being relaxed, this is another show of
dominance.[33]
Dominant individuals will also have a firm handshake. They will
usually place their hand on top with their palm facing downwards;
the grip will be firm and sustained in order to demonstrate
control.[34]
4
Consider how the person manages their personal space. Those with
high status will generally enable more physical space to exist
between themselves and lower status people. High-status individuals
will also take up more physical space to show their dominance and
mastery of the situation.[35] In other words, an expansive pose
signals power and achievement.[36]
Power is also displayed through standing versus sitting. Standing -
and particularly in the foreground - is seen as a more powerful
pose.[37]
A straight back and strong shoulders kept back, rather than
hunching forward, further conveys confidence. Slouching and
slumping, by contrast, convey a lack of confidence.[38]
Dominant individuals will also lead from the front and walk ahead
of the group or go through the doors first. They like to be up
front.[39]
5
Watch how and when the person touches. People asserting their
status will have more options when it comes to touch because they
feel more confident in their position. Generally, in an unequal
situation where one person has a higher status, he will touch the
lower-status person with greater frequency.[40]
In social situations where both communicators have equal status,
both people will reciprocate touch in similar ways.[41]
Method 4 Quiz
How can you recognize a person is asserting dominance through body
language?
Walking through a door first.
Sitting rather than standing.
Shaking hands in a relaxed manner.
Avoiding eye contact.
Method Five of Five:
Understanding Body Language
1
Know that reading body language is a complex task. Nonverbal
behavior is itself complex since all people are different and
present themselves differently.[42] Reading body language can be
challenging because when interpreting the signs people are sending
you, you need to take into account the whole picture. For example,
did that person already mention to you today that he had a fight
with his wife or didn't a get a promotion at work? Or was he
visibly anxious over lunch?
When interpreting others’ body language,
it’s important wherever possible to take into
account their personality, social factors, verbal behavior, and the
setting. While this information is not always available, it can be
helpful to read body language. People are complex, so it shouldn't
come as a surprise that how they convey themselves with their
bodies is complex too!
You could compare reading body language to watching your favorite
TV show; after all, you wouldn't just watch one scene in your
favorite TV show, but the whole episode in order to properly
understand the meaning of that one scene. You'd also probably keep
in mind past episodes, a character’s history, and
the plot as a whole. You need to look at this bigger picture also
when it comes to reading body language!
2
Remember to consider individual differences. There is no 'one size
fits all' when it comes to body language. If you are invested in
being able to read a person's body language accurately, you may
have to 'study' that person for some time. What is true for one
person may not always be true for another.
For example, when lying, some people break eye contact, while
others attempt to maintain even more eye contact than usual so that
they won't be suspected of lying.
3
Be aware that body language can differ according to culture. For
some emotions and expressions of body language, the meaning of the
messages is culturally-specific.
For instance, in Finnish culture, when a person makes eye contact,
it is a sign of approachability. By contrast, when a person makes
eye contact, it is considered to be an expression of anger for the
Japanese.[43]
To give another example, in western culture, a person who feels
comfortable with you will lean forward toward you and square their
face and body directly toward you.[44]
People with certain disabilities may have unique body language. For
example, autistic people often avoid eye contact while listening,
and fidget frequently.
Note that while some physical expressions of emotion vary from
culture to culture, some research suggests that certain expressions
of body language are universal across cultures. This is especially
true for the communication of dominance and submission. For
example, across different cultures, a lowered posture indicates
submission.[45]
4
Note that understanding differs according to nonverbal channel. The
nonverbal channel is the means by which a message or sign is
conveyed without words. Important nonverbal channels include those
of kinesics (eye contact, facial expressions, and body language),
haptics (touch), and proxemics (personal space). In other words,
the medium determines the message.[46]
As a general rule, people are best at reading facial expressions,
and then body language, and, finally, personal space and
touch.[47]
Even within each channel, there can be great variation. For
instance, not all facial expressions are equally easy to
understand. People are generally better at reading facial
expressions that are pleasant rather than unpleasant. One study
found that individuals are better at accurately interpreting
happiness, contentment, and excitement, compared to anger, sadness,
fear, and disgust. [48]
Method 5 Quiz
What is the main takeaway to understanding body language?
There is no variation in body language tells among different cultures.
Breaking eye contact always means someone is lying.
Body language can differ from individual to individual.
People are better at reading unpleasant facial
expressions.
Community Q&A
How will I know if someone isn't interested in me or if it's the
topic of conversation?
Answered by Jessica B. Casey
Although body language is not the same for everyone, there are a
few general signs you could look for such as lack of eye contact,
being distracted, actively looking at other things like a cell
phone, their body and feet turning away from you, or changing the
subject abruptly. You could also simply ask if the topic
isn’t interesting or change the subject by asking
a question. For example, “Anyway,
that’s enough about my trip; what did you end up
doing this weekend?”
What does it mean if someone looks at me all the time? Answered by
wikiHow Contributor
That may mean the person likes you or is interested in getting to
know you. You may also remind the person of someone else. That type
of look is usually an invitation to conversation.
My crush will sometimes look at me, then flutter his eyelashes as
he moves his gaze away. What does that mean? Answered by wikiHow
Contributor
It means that he is shy and looks at you to admire you, if you like
him too and if you were to talk to him, he would probably stare at
the floor and have a little smile he's trying to hide.
What does it mean if a person stretches their neck? Answered by
wikiHow Contributor
It could just mean that their neck is bothering them and they need
to stretch. On the other hand, it could also mean that the person
is feeling uncomfortable with the current situation. When a person
is experiencing anxiety, their body will become tense, and they
will feel the need to stretch.
How can I tell if a shy person has a crush on me? Answered by
wikiHow Contributor
Some signs might include the person looking at you to stare or
maybe just glancing at you. Even when you are speaking to that
person, he/she might not look at you directly in the eyes as they
may be scared of revealing their true intentions. Read up on
flirting signals to get more ideas -- whether or not the person is
shy, they will still give away signs.
What sort of body language can show that someone is lying? Answered
by wikiHow Contributor
Body language will vary from person to person. Some people may hold
eye contact for longer than usual to try to hide the fact that they
are lying, while others will avoid eye contact. Some people will
also shift their bodies, adjust their clothing, or play with their
hair.
What kind of body language should I look for when trying to tell if
someone is interested in me? Answered by wikiHow Contributor
For a guy: moving towards you, playfully hitting you. For a girl:
blinking more than usual, playing with her hair, and
blushing.
What if someone will not make lasting eye contact? Answered by
wikiHow Contributor
It could be that he/she is shy or nervous talking to you or with
others. It could also be that he or she likes you.
What does it mean when a woman plays with her hair when she is
talking to me? Answered by wikiHow Contributor
It could mean many things: she's flirting, she likes to keep her
hands busy, she's autistic, her hair is in her face, etc. Notice
her posture, her facial expression, and her other cues that will
provide clues to her intent.
How do I interpret a lack of facial expressions? Answered by
wikiHow Contributor
A complete lack of facial expressions is trained and purposeful.
Most people do not automatically shut off their emotions, unless
they become dissociated from the situation. If someone is showing
no expressions, they are most likely trying to hide anger or
sadness.
Video
Warnings
Do not judge a person solely by their body language. Remember that
body language is not the sole indicator of someone's status,
emotional state, or their relationship with you.
Related wikiHows
How to
Communicate With Body Language
How to
Interpret Autistic Body Language
How to
Detect Lies
How to
Not Be Annoying
How to
Ignore Someone
How to
Have an Attitude
How to
Stop Swearing
How to
Give Someone the Silent Treatment
How to
Be Honest
How to
Be Sarcastic
About this wikiHow
Expert Review By:
BC
Jessica B. Casey
M.A, Clinical Mental Health Counseling
Co-authors: 296
Updated: April 18, 2017
Views: 6,390,182
Article Rating: 85% - 64 votes
Categories: Featured Articles | Language Nuances
Sources and Attribution
Reader Success Stories
BD
Boris Dayneko
Aug 11, 2016
"This article, as well as this website are very
Interesting, very helpful and useful! The article is like any
you..." more
More reader stories