(as I write this, my cat Davy is tearing apart my apple computer's power supply chord, now suspiciously swiping at my foot, i think this will lend a sense of urgency to this blog)

this evening, for the first time, I saw myself on Chinese television, or rather, on plain television, the first time just happened to be on Chinese television.  it was painful.

why?  because of the adage: pictures make you put on 6 pounds, TV makes you put on 100 pounds.  because I was nervous, sang off-key.  because the dry-ice (they use it for a graveyard mist effect) condensed on the glass stage, and made dancing in 10 dollars worth of knock-off Chinese high heeled shoes completely impossible.
because the act before me was really hard to follow: a 12-year old boy singing Sarah Brightman's part of the Beijing olympic ceremony's theme-song "you and me."

Anyway, the perfectionist side of me who would shoot myself down for coming second in the olympic games does not approve of this performance.  Thankfully, I have tonight, exceptionally, decided to not heed the perfectionist side of me.  Instead I will start heeding my little Davy (he is sleeping now, exhausted by the exertion of battling against the threatening legs of Aventurina), and eat some Chinese desserts out of the fridge.  :)