In this poem, the poet make[s] a cleaver choice of words, extremely verbs and adverb. For example, he choose[s] the word “die” to describe the fading away of dreams, but not “disappear” or any other words. The word “die”, together with the following image “the broken-winged bird”, we may think of a bird dying because of it cannot find food with a broken wing, it even cannot move to anywhere else. And the word die also shows how desperate a person is without dreams. As for adverbs, he uses “fast ” to modify “hold”, it is “hold fast ” but not “hold tight” or “hold strictly” or words have similar meaning. I think it may be because that the word have another meaning of “quick” and when it is used to show tight, it may provide readers an impression that if we ignore dreams and lose our hands a little bit, dreams will fade away immediately at a speed that we will never catch up. It makes people very nervous and worried about not having dreams.

To connect sentences, the poet uses “for” to explain the cause-and-effect relationship between “dreams ” and “life”. He also uses “if ” and “when” clauses to make an assumption to illustrate the consequence when people lost dreams.

The rhymes of this poem are “i”, “ ai”, “e” and “ou”. The rhythm [rhyme?] pattern of it is ABCB-ADCD.

The first line of the first stanza in the poem has four syllables and the first, second and the last ones are stressed. The second line has also four syllables, the first two syllables are weakly-stressed and the last two syllables are stressed. The third line has six syllables, the first one, fourth one, fifth one and the sixth one are stressed. The last line of the first stanza has four syllables and the first and last syllables are stressed.  The first line of the second stanza in the poem has four syllables, and the first and second and the fourth syllables are stressed. The second line has also four syllables, the first two syllables are weakly-stressed and the last two syllables are stressed. The (The) third line has six syllables, the first one, fourth one, fifth one and the sixth one are stressed. The last line of the first stanza has four syllables and the first and last syllables are stressed. After dividing syllables of this poem, we can see that the poem is perfectly balanced when we recite it.

As for figure of speech, there are two places in this poem that metaphor is used. In the first stanza, the poet compares “life” to “birds” that “if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly”. In the second stanza, “life” was compared to “field” that “when dreams go, life is a barren field frozen with snow.” Both of the metaphors are perfectly appropriate to describe a person without dreams. The broken-winged bird and the barren field bring people sadness because they are not being in the good situation which they suppose to be. People may get the feeling that we should not live like a broken-winged bird or a barren field, and instead of that, we should always have dreams and hope in life.

A very good job in terms of your try to relate language to meaning, in particular, in spite of some errors and that cohesion is not included in your discussion about the poem. Repetition as part of lexical cohesion, for instance.