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         见你就笑戏剧论坛（第三十五期）出版了

              无人知 2016.11.4.幽默系列

               幽默段子；（一）回家路上

 Chinese new year, from relatives to eat rice,and cousin to go home together.

 过年，从亲戚家吃完饭，和表哥一起回家。

  Drive a car on the road,There are two beautiful girls on it,Driving a car is not fast,The two girls are beautiful,I just stare at them.

 路上开过一辆汽车，上面还有两个美女，开车开得不快，那两个姑娘长得蛮漂亮的，我就盯着她们看。

  Did not expect,The beautiful girls in the car waved at me,I'll respond to this situation,I waved to them too.

  没有想到，车上的美女朝我挥挥手，碰到这种情况我马上回应，我也向她们挥了挥手。

  My brother turned his head,Say to me；“My classmate, what do you play？”

 我哥转过头来，对我说；“我同学，你挥什么手？”

 

 

            幽默段子；（二）怎样进来的？

  The two prisoners in prison are talking;

  监狱里两个犯人在聊天；

 “How did you come in？”

“你是怎样被抓进来的？”

“Because of a cold.”

“因为感冒。”

 “What's going on?”

“怎么回事啊？”“

I had a sneeze while I was stealing, and the security woke up.”

“我在偷东西的时候打了个喷嚏，保安醒了。”

 

            幽默段子；（三）让我爸爸无语

 Dad scolded me in the morning,Nearly thirty of the people, but also nothing,Know to play all day.

 早上老爸骂我，都快三十的人了，还一事无成，成天就知道玩。

  Look at the people and you are the same as the company opened the.

 看看人家和你一样大都开公司了。

  I casually said, you and Ma Yun also generally, look at the people.

 我随口说了一句，你和马云还一般大呢，看看人家。

  Dad suddenly silent, stare big eyes look at me, I was not the run......

  老爸顿时无语，瞪大眼睛看我，我是不是该跑了......

 

          幽默段子；（四）公交车上的见闻

  One day take a bus,Come up a beautiful woman said to the driver：“I don't have my wallet. I kiss you ”

 一天坐公交，上来一个美女对司机说；“我没有带钱包，我亲你一下吧？”

  The driver said; "can." The beautiful woman sat down.

  司机说；“可以。”美女就坐下了。

  Behind a old uncle, See the crystal clear.The car driver to kiss with violence,say;“I didn't bring my wallet.”

 后面上来一个大爷， 看得一清二楚。上车后对司机猛力的亲吻，说；“我也没有带钱包。”

 

              幽默段子；（五）夫妻吵架

 A couple quarrel,The man had a quarrel, but he was lying in bed.

一对夫妻吵架，男的吵不过女的，就躺在床上。

  Woman;What are you doing in bed?

     女：你躺在床上干吗？

   Man;Dead.

    男；死了。

 Woman;Dead?How do you still open your eyes?

    女；死了怎么还睁着眼睛？

   Man;Turn in one's grave

    男；死不瞑目。

 Woman;And how is it still breathing?

    女；那怎么还在呼吸？

   Man;Do not swallow this breath.

    男；咽不下这口气。

 

             幽默段子；（六）玩手机

  Wife ;Only know to play mobile phone every day,When can you find that the child is not yours!

  妻子；每天只知道玩手机，你什么时候才能发现孩子不是你的！

Husband;I already doubt you.You under have to admit it.

   丈夫；我早就怀疑你了，你这下自己承认了！

   Wife;How can‘t I dare to admit,Who do you see in the living room?Is that you just brought home from the kindergarten son?

   妻子；我怎么就不敢承认，你看客厅里是谁？是你刚从幼儿园领回家的儿子吗？

 

    He he he! Wish friends happy happy every day!

     呵呵呵！希望朋友们开心快乐每一天！