小恩同志这个星期是够惨的了，先是吃错东西肚子痛，刚好了又食物过敏（高蛋白蚕蛹）

身体是革命的本钱~ 希望大家好好保重！先发个翻译吧~

Extreme Golf: Now That's a Water Hazard

极限高尔夫：这才是真正的水障碍！

文/斯蒂夫·查克顿 Steve Tracton 

译/小恩 Xiaoen

源/华盛顿邮报 Washington Post

Golf on an aircraft carrier? This would most definitely help the U.S. Navy with recruiting.

在航空母舰上打高尔夫球？这定能帮助到美国的海军征兵。

I can see the ad already: Tiger Woods drives the ball right down the center of the fairway, then turns to the camera and says, "Join the Navy. See the World. Play Golf."

我已可以想象到一则广告：老虎伍兹一号木杆开球落在球道正中，然后转向镜头说道：“加入海军，环游世界，畅打高球。”

Not to mention, it would utterly① confuse the enemy.

不用多说，这绝对可以迷惑敌人。

But before anyone complains about frivolous② spending of taxpayer money, there is a back story to this picture.

但在所有人抱怨过度花费纳税人的钱之前，这幅图片背后有着一个故事。

I have a friend in California whose son is acknowledged as one of the foremost experts③ in the design and maintenance of golf courses. Several years ago on a visit out there, we got to talking at a bar on the grounds of Pebble Beach, one of the world's best known golf courses. I was working for the Office of Naval Research at the time, and with the Pacific Ocean as our backdrop④, he facetiously⑤ (so I thought) suggested I award him a contract for designing golf links on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier.

我在加利福尼亚有一位朋友，他的儿子被认为是高尔夫球场设计和维护的一流专家之一。几年前到访加州时，我们在世界闻名的圆石滩球场里的酒吧闲聊。那时我正在海军研究所工作，办公室背景就是太平洋。他开玩笑的提议我给他一份在航母飞行甲板上设计林克斯高尔夫球场的合同。

To humor him⑥, I responded something to the effect of, "Sure, while not on top of the Navy's priority list, I'll see what I can do." We talked about how golfers would need to anticipate the slope and angle of ship roll, which in turn would open a whole new area of research and development -- golf strategy as related to wave action, sea spray, dodging⑦ incoming and outgoing⑧ aircraft, maneuvering around surfers when approaching Pearl Harbor, and being "hosed" under the Golden Gate by streams of water from fireboats welcoming sailors ashore.

为了迎合他，我若有其事地回答道：“当然可以，虽然这不是海军优先考虑的事情，让我想想办法吧。”我们谈到高尔夫球手们需要怎样去预期船横摆的倾斜及角度，这也许会开启一个新的研究和发展领域——高尔夫球策略涉及到：海浪作用，海水浪花，躲避往来船只，靠近珍珠港时熟练地绕过冲浪者以及在金门桥下被救火船用水流喷洒欢迎海员们靠岸。

Finally, I noted that not least⑨ amongst the problems would be the inevitable media headlines along the lines of, "Your Tax Dollars at Work."

最后，我注意到特别是在众多问题中，不可避免的将是媒体到头条：“你的税款起作用了”。

As might be expected, almost immediately after our discussion, the idea was purged⑩ from whatever bin within my cranium houses memory. Much to my surprise⑪, however, several months later I received the above picture in the mail from an anonymous sender. The picture has since appeared on a host of blog sites, without attribution⑫. Clearly, whoever created it must be an expert in PhotoShop or the like.

就像预期的一样，几乎在我们讨论结束后，这想法就立刻在我脑海里消失了。然而，让我惊喜的是，几个月后我的邮箱收到上面这张匿名图片。这张图片已在许多博客上出现，却没有注明出处。显然，创作这张图的一定是Photoshop或类似软件的高手。

My friend claims total innocence -- to which I responded that I own a desert island in the Arctic Ocean that could use a golf course. (There's a picture I'd like to see in Al Gore's next movie.)

我的朋友宣称其是清白的——为此我还调侃说我在北冰洋拥有一座沙漠岛屿可以用作建高尔夫球场（这是我想在阿尔戈尔下一部电影所见到的画面）。

At the time, some colleagues of mine thought a golf course-equipped aircraft carrier might actually be a good idea -- an innovative, revolutionary and totally unexplored area of national defense. Hence, an "out-of-the-envelope" opportunity for acquiring research funds. Contacts with ranking officers aboard aircraft carriers were unanimously⑬enthusiastic. "Just think what golf at sea will do for sailor morale. ... When ammunition⑭runs out, we can fire golf balls at the enemy." After all, it's unlikely they've developed an anti-dimpled-ball defense.

那时，我的几个同事认为携有高尔夫球场装备的航母也许是个不错的主意——是集创新性、革命性以及完全未开发性的国防领域。因此，也是一个能获得研究资助的绝佳机会。航母上的军官们也热情支持。“想想海上高尔夫能为海员士气带来什么…当弹药用尽时，我们可以用高尔夫球朝敌人开火”。毕竟，他们不像已经研究出反凹洞球的防御能力。

Needless to say, the notion of aircraft carrier golf died a gentle death after the laughing subsided. At least it did in the "unclassified" world. Who knows, perhaps the skunkworks are working on it behind the scenes. It makes sense that we wouldn't want our adversaries⑮to find out about such a project. They'd probably assume it was a means to hide some new-age weapons system.

不必说，高尔夫航母的概念在笑声过后已被淡忘。但至少它曾被大家记住。天晓得，也许臭鼬工厂（美国洛克希德·马丁公司下属的高级技术研发部门）正在研发着呢。能说得通的是我们当然不想对手们发现我们正从事此项工程。他们也许会猜测这只是隐藏新世纪武器系统的一种手段而已。

Of course, we could play along with their assumption and argue that the target is not them, but rather a possible attack by extraterrestrials⑯. Should they believe this, perhaps they'd want to buy my island in the Arctic.

当然，我们可以顺着其的猜测并称目标不是他们，而是有可能来自外太空的攻击。如果他们真的相信，也许他们也会愿意购买我在北冰洋的小岛。

Even if they don't buy our story, the whole thing might work to our benefit anyway -- no matter how evil the enemy, who'd want to blow up a beautiful golf course?

无论如何，就算他们不信，整件事情对我们也许还是有利的——不管敌人如何的邪恶，他会愿意摧毁一座美丽的高尔夫球场吗？

注释：

①     Utterly：完全地、绝对的；

②     Frivolous：轻佻的、琐碎的、妄动的；

③     Foremost expert：一流的专家；

④     Backdrop：背景幕、 (事件的)背景；

⑤     Facetiously：滑稽地、爱开玩笑地；

⑥     Humor sb：迎合某人；

⑦     Dodge：避开、躲避；

⑧     Incoming and outgoing：往来的；

⑨     Not least：特别是、尤其是；

⑩     Purge：n.净化, 清除, 泻药；v.(使)净化, 清除, 肃清, (使)通便；

⑪     Much to my surprise：让我惊喜的是；

⑫     Without attribution：无注明出处；

⑬     Unanimously：全体一致地、无异议地；

⑭     Ammunition：军火、弹药；

⑮     Adversary：敌手、对手；

⑯     Extraterrestrial：地球外的、宇宙的。