I’ll Never Understand My Wife

This story mainly talked about some details in the author’s marriage. He never understands the way his wife deals with everyday life, but he knows when to be silent and to respect her way of doing things. Then on a morning as normal as always, however, he realized suddenly that how much his wife had sacrificed and contributed to this family during the long time of four years without any complain. Though still he couldn’t understand his wife, he realizes that he has a very good wife. He also happily finds out that their daughter will also be a good wife for someone in the future just like her mother.

After reading this article, the same question that I’ve thought millions of times occurred to me again, “What kind of marriage will I have and what kind of family will I raise in the future?” I admire those who have successful careers as well as happy families. Gradually I understand that, love or family, just like career, needs our careful management.

In recent years, people’s concept on marriage has changed. People now marry because of love, rather than the arrangement of parents or some sort of responsibility. But it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t take responsibility in marriage. Marriage is more than a red certification announcing that you’re man and wife. It also means that one has to be responsible for his or her spouse, as well as the new family.

Speaking of love, there’s too much to say. But we can’t actually talk about it without mentioning romance. Isn’t a fine dinner in a luxury restaurant with lit candles attractive? Isn’t a bunch of red roses in the morning surprising? Isn’t sweet words that almost have your heart melted touching? The answer will absolutely be “yes”. I, however, think that romance will only play a little part in love. I’ve never been in love, therefore I don’t know how important romance really means for a couple who love each other enthusiastically. If I have a chance to choose, I’ll prefer rational love and sense of responsibility instead of romance.

Romantic or not, the result of love will be getting into marriage. And I’m sure many of you must have heard of a famous saying which says “Marriage is the tomb of love.” Because once a man and a woman marry, they’ll have to live together. Then they’ll have to accept and adapt to the differences and distance between being together and living together. They’ll have to face the endless chores in daily life and plan for their money together. Those will unavoidably lead to disagreements and even give rise to quarrels. Marriage will also throw light upon all the hidden disadvantages and they’ll be enlarged by the magnifying glass of marriage. No men are the same just like no leaves are the same. Because of the differences on living environment and education background, people may have different views on a same question. Many people fail to realize this, thus lost the patience on each other, every detail just seems unbearable. Ultimately they’ll unavoidably bring their marriage to an end. My mother once told me that good couples and good families would all have a period called the transition period. During which time they try to get to know each other better than ever and accept each other totally, especially their weaknesses. Then they could find a standard that both sides accept the most and adjust it when necessary with each passing day. Through their effort, they’ll always be living in a family with tolerance, relaxation and love. Their marriage then becomes the paradise, instead of tomb, of love.

For most times in a family, the woman sacrifices and contributes much more than the man. She’ll just do it without any complaint. That’s where the greatness of a wife and of a mother lies.

As a girl around 20, I also dream of love, but a fairly plain one. He’s tall and gentle, rational and responsible. He has big hands which can hold me through difficulties and wide shoulders where I can always find the safest feeling I could ever have every time I rely on. A lit light when I’m late for home even it’s already midnight. A coat on my shoulders when I burn the evening oil for my work. Hug me when I’m weak and tired, support me when I lose and fail. Be with me when I’m wild, be with me when I’m quiet. That’s all my expectations towards my marriage. Those will bring me all the warmth I want in love.

----Book Report of March, 2007

我令人难以理解的妻

这个故事主要讲的是作者婚姻生活中的一些细节。他不能理解妻子处理日常生活的方式，但他知道何时应该保持沉默来尊重妻子的选择。然而，在一个再平常不过的早晨，作者却突然意识到在长达四年的时间里，妻子毫无怨言地为这个家付出了多少。尽管他仍旧理解不了妻子的一些作法，他却知道，他有一个好妻子；同时他也欣慰地发现，她们的女儿也会在将来成为另一个男人的好妻子，就像她妈妈一样。

读罢了这篇文章，一个我曾思考过无数遍的问题再一次向我袭来----将来，我会有什么样的婚姻生活？会拥有一个怎样的家庭呢？对于那些事业成功、家庭幸福的人们，我总是心生羡慕。渐渐地，我明白了，爱情，或者说，家庭，像事业一样，需要我们悉心的经营。

近些年，人们对于婚姻概念的理解改变了。人们现在因为爱，不再是因为父母之命或是什么所谓的责任而结婚了。但这种概念上的改变并不意味着我们在婚姻中不应当承担责任。红红的一纸结婚证书宣布了一对男女结为夫妻，而婚姻不是那么简单，它不仅仅意味着一层法律关系，还意味着双方要对彼此负责，对新组成的家庭负责。

提到爱情，这个话题总会让人生出无尽的语言。而每谈到爱情不能不提及的，自然是总与之相伴的浪漫。让我们来一起想象这样几幅画面：一对恋人在一家高档餐厅相对而坐，共享烛光晚餐；清晨醒来，娇艳欲滴的玫瑰就在枕边；还有那甜蜜的情话呀，是永远永远也说不完的……这一切能让你联想到浪漫吗？答案当然是肯定的。我，却认为，在爱情中，浪漫只占据了比较小的一部分。在十几年的生活中，我从没有爱过，自然也就不知道对于那一对对热烈地爱着对方的情侣来说，浪漫的气息到底有多重要。但如果我有机会选择，我更愿意经历充满理智与责任的感情，而不仅仅是浪漫。

不管浪漫不浪漫，爱情发展到最后就会走入婚姻。相信正在读文章的你一定听说过这样的话----“婚姻是爱情的坟墓”。因为一旦两人结婚，他们就要生活在一起。这就意味着两个人必须要适应“在一起”和“住在一起”之间的差异和区别。他们将要一起面对充斥着柴米油盐等等琐事的日常生活，一起计划开销。这些琐事不可避免地会引起或多或少的分歧，甚至是争吵。婚姻还将暴露双方在恋爱时候隐藏着的缺点，并把它们成倍地放大。就像世上没有相同的两片叶子一样，世上也没有相同的两个人。因为生活和受教育背景的不同，人们对于同一个问题的认识可能会大相径庭。很多人没有意识到这点，并因此对另一半失去了耐心，致使生活变得痛苦难以忍受，也就一手将他们的婚姻带到了终点。妈妈曾经告诉我，每一对幸福的夫妻，每一个和睦的家庭，都会有一个过渡的时期。在这段时间里，他们最大程度的了解、并完全地接受彼此，尤其是对于那些缺点；然后，他们会找到一个双方都能够接受的比较折中的标准，并根据每天的生活不断调整。通过这些努力，他们的家庭里就永远充满了宽容、轻松和爱；他们的婚姻也就变成了爱情的天堂，而不是坟墓。

每一个家庭中，大多数的时候，女人总比男人牺牲得多一些、付出得多一些。她毫无怨言地、日复一日地，默默地，付出着。这也是一个妻子的伟大之所在，一个母亲的伟大之所在。

作为一个二十岁左右的女孩，我也向往爱情，一段平淡的爱情。希望我的他高大儒雅，理性，有责任感；希望他有一双漂亮的大手，扶我一起穿过苦难；希望他有宽厚的肩膀，让我每每依靠，都能找到这世上最安全的感觉；希望他能在我晚归的时候，点亮小小的一盏灯，静静地等着我；希望他能在我为工作熬夜的时候，在我的肩上，温柔地披一件衣裳；希望他能在我脆弱疲倦的时候拥抱我，在我失败跌倒的时候支持我；希望他能陪我一起疯狂，也陪我一起安静。这，就是我对婚姻的全部期望。因为这一切，已经足以让我收获爱情中所有的温暖与幸福。

----2007年3月读书报告