加载中…如何把握英语作文的“增加细节”要求
(2009-07-10 15:57:14)
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英语作文细节要求杂谈书面表达 |
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如何把握英语作文的“增加细节”要求
英语作文通常都有“可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯”的要求。但在作文批改和阅卷当中发现，在此“细节”上失误的大有人在。一是关注要点，忽视了细节，写出的作文成了几个要点的翻译，单调、枯燥、空洞，可读性不强。二是喧宾夺主，随意发挥，偏离了主题。其中第一种情况较多。
本文从三个方面谈谈在作文中如何把握“适当增加细节，以使行文连贯”。
一．要点拓展型细节 —— 合理展开 语义圆满
任何提示写作的情景，不管是提纲形式还是图表形式，都包括一定的要点。考生在审题时要注意要点之间是否连贯，意义是否完整。如果存在空白，就要在已知要点基础上合理发挥和想象，挖掘出顺理成章的要点拓展型细节，使语句更加连贯、条理和顺畅，表达更为丰满。否则，就容易给人以突兀之感，使读者感觉莫名其妙。拓展要点不能抛开主题和说明，要为表达已知要点服务。
例1.（08全国卷二）假定你是李华, 你的英国朋友Peter来信向你咨询如何才能学好中文。请你根据下列要点写回信.
要点: 1. 参加中文学习班;
注意：1.词数100左右；2. 可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；3. 开头语已为你写好。
Dear Peter,
One Possible Version:
Dear Peter,
Here are a few suggestions. First, it is important to take a Chinese course, as you’ll be able
to learn from the teacher and practise with your fellow students. Then, it also helps to watch TV
and read books, newspapers and magazines in Chinese whenever possible.
Besides, it should be a good idea to learn and sing Chinese songs, because by doing so you’ll learn and remember Chinese words more easily. You can also make more Chinese friends. They will tell you a lot about China and help you learn Chinese.
Try and write me in Chinese next time.
Best wishes
文中“as you’ll be able to learn from the teacher and practise with your fellow students”，
“because by doing so you’ll learn and remember Chinese words more easily”，“They will tell you a lot about China and help you learn Chinese”等就是建议要点的合理拓展，大大充实了要点，反映了题目中“可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯”的要求。如果缺少这些细节，别人就可能不明白为何提这些建议。
二．语句修饰型细节 —— 语汇丰富 行文连贯
高中阶段同学们学习了大量的词汇、句型以及修辞手段，根据需要运用得当，可以大大增强句子的表现力。例如：用词准确，避免重复使用空泛词汇；变换句式；句子之间根据不同的语义关系运用相应的衔接词；增加一些必要的附属成分等等。
2008年全国卷（二）所给的参考例文中，四个提建议的句子分别是：
①. First, it is important to take a Chinese course.
②. Then, it also helps to watch TV and read books, newspapers and magazines in Chinese whenever possible.
③. Besides, it should be a good idea to learn and sing Chinese songs,….
④. You can also make more Chinese friends.
四种表达丰富多彩，生动活泼，可读性很强。而且准确地使用了First，Then，Besides，also等表示列举的功能词，条理清楚，让人一目了然。
请细读下面几个句子：
①. During the war, Marco was the captain of a warship but he was
caught by the enemy and put into prison. (Senior High
English北师大版Module3 P.26)
②. Just before he died, aged 70, Marco was asked the question,“Was it all trur?”, to which he replied, “I have only told a half of what I saw!”. (Senior High English北师大版Module3 P.26)
③ ….There are also offers for people who don’t want to go straight home afterwards. If you like history, there is a trip to Western China. For people who prefer to spend some time on the coast, we can organise your travel and accommodation too. (Senior High English北师大版Module3 P.22)
建议同学们在学习课本时，细心品味课文，体会其中的精妙，然后尽可能反复仿写、改写。词汇练习和翻译练习中，可根据意义和功能尽量尝试更多的表达方式，充实自己的表达库。写出好句子好文章并不难；很多人感觉难，难在平时日积月累和善于积累。相信只要坚持下去，一定会大有收获。
三．语篇结构型细节 —— 有始有终 过渡自然
做事要善始善终，作文也要前后照应。高考英语作文一般要求用100个词左右清楚连贯地表达自己的思想，尽管语篇短小，结构简单，仍然要符合英语语篇的表达习惯，合乎语篇发展的一般要求。例如，记叙文/叙述文通常都有事件/人物的背景，过程，结果/作者感想，考生在审题时既要明确文章要点，还要认真阅读有关提示说明以及文体的要求，考虑如何把它表现出来，比如简要交代背景，或者点名主题，最后说明结果，作者感想结论等。
例2.（2008年全国卷一）假定你是李华，从小喜爱大熊猫（panda）,一直通过有关网站(website)关注三年前在美国圣迭哥动物园出生的大熊猫“苏琳”和她的母亲“白云”。现在苏琳即将三岁。请根据以下要点给动物园工作人员写一封信：
1、 自我介绍；2、祝贺苏琳生日；3、感谢工作人员；4、索取苏琳三岁生日照。
注意：1、词数100左右； 2、可以适当增加细节，以使行文连贯； 3、开头语已为你写好。
Dear Sir/Madam,
Greetings from China!
___________________________________________________________________________
One Possible Version:
Dear/Madam,
Greetings from China!
I’m Li Hua, a student in Sichuan. I’ve been a panda lover since I was a child. About three years ago I was delighted to learn that Baiyun gave birth to her daughter，Sulin and I’ve been watching her grow on your website. Now she’s going to be three. I’d like to wish her a happy birthday and to express my thanks to you for your hard work because of which Sulin and her parents are living a happy and healthy life in the US.
By the way, could I have a photo of Sulin taken on her third birthday? Thank you very much in advance!
本文是书信体。开头以“I’m Li Hua, a student in Sichuan”作自我介绍，简洁明了。“By the way”引出写这封信的另外一个目的 ——“索取照片”，过渡自然。结尾“Thank you very much in advance”与索取照片呼应，十分自然贴切，收得恰到好处。
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