Confessions of an American Nerd

Chapter 6—How I Handle Stress

 Kate Wang

     Do you know that there are two types of stress? There’s eustress and distress, the former being the good kind that motivates you to do your best, and the latter, well, that’s why nervous breakdowns happen. Mind you, I think stress is essential to get things done and to motivate people, but I don’t want to collapse from it. My biology teacher said it was his goal to get us to the peak of eustress to maximize our efforts, but that involves a delicate tightrope walk between sanity and insanity. All last year, I saw my friends being felled by that vicious felon Stress, their composure cracking into a million heartbreaking pieces. Yet I managed to dodge that, for never once did I break down, shut down or just plain give up. How did I do it? Hmm, I’m no scientist, but I’ll attempt to explain.

       First, the basics of stress as relates to biology. Females and males deal with stress differently. Guys tend to internalize problems, and are unwilling to talk about them for fear of being labeled as sissies. They want to keep their machismo, their “tough-guy” moniker, so crying and pouring out their troubles is not on their list. That’s why they express greater anger, because slowly, that stress builds up like tartar plaque on teeth, until they can’t handle it. They purge themselves of the unhealthy feelings by lashing out , hence the violent male stereotype. Females on the other hand, are wont to express their stress and emotions by crying, telling their girlfriends, etc. This gets rid of the bad feelings before they can culminate into an explosive outburst. I personally prefer the feminine method, but oddly, I don’t function that way.

       I am a girl, yes, but I am not your typical girl. I am very, very introverted, and very closemouthed about my emotions, almost like a guy. I never tell anyone my deepest emotions, my angers and troubles, preferring to internalize them. It’s bad for me, I know, but I cannot bring myself to tell anyone my deepest feelings, not even my parents and best friends. When I feel troubled or stressed, I deal with it by myself, never with anyone. Perhaps that’s why it’s difficult for me to get close to anyone. I don’t know why it is—perhaps I got washed with too much testosterone while in my mom’s belly. Who knows?

       Last year was the most stressful year of my life. I’d heard about the terrible Junior year, and didn’t expect to relax too much. Indeed, there was so much. SAT’s. AP’s. Extracurriculars. Music. College prep. Homework. I knew I couldn’t use my old ways of dealing with school. I had to sharpen my cudgels and gird my loins for an epic battle. My study neurons were rusty from lack of use because freshman and sophomore years had been easier than pie and I never studied for anything, except for math. Let me tell you, it was hard to grate off all that mental rust, but luckily, the summer internship at the University of Washington kept my brain functioning during vacation. Before, I’d always lounged around on the sofa, pretending I was Marilyn Monroe, ruining my teeth by eating chocolate and blinding my eyes by watching endless Chinese drama series. But anyway, this year required extreme change.

       The beginning wasn’t so bad. Sure there was homework, but not piles. Besides, the solution for de-stressing homework is simple—just don’t procrastinate and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Oh yes, that was the hard part for me, asking for help. I am a bit snotty at times, and think I’m too superior to grovel for aid, but I soon discovered that it saved me time. American teachers love it when you ask for help, and I talked to my teachers constantly. Some accuse me of being a teacher’s pet, but they’re just jealous. My friends too were sources of de-stressing, for they sympathized with me and helped me with my homework. It’s hard to believe that a bunch of hormonal teenagers whining about homework can get it done, but we hated it so much that we were desperate to get it done speedily. Procrastination wasn’t a problem, because I dove into homework as soon as I kicked my shoes off and stopped only to eat, exercise and sleep. Wait, you say, doesn’t that sound like a robot? Maybe, but my sanity was more important than staying up until 3 in the morning. Personally, I feel no sympathy for those who moan over getting no sleep because they watched TV for 5 hours before beginning the essay that was due the next day which was assigned two weeks ago. You get my point.

       However, as time went on, I discovered a problem. Balance. How to juggle my school life, social life (Yes, nerdy me had, sort of, a social life), and extracurricular activities? School was certainly not all my life, because I had Chinese school, symphony, piano, art, hospital volunteering, Ushers’ Club, SATs, and friends who needed me as a human and not a robot. There are only 24 hours in a day and I was already maxing out my weekday hours and I didn’t want to sacrifice sleep during those crucial days. Making up for lost sleep in Calculus is not smart. So, I trimmed off my weekend sleeping time from 10 hours a day to 8 hours. Those extra four hours enabled me to get my homework done and do various activities. Sure I couldn’t see 2 movies a week, shop and giggle over the phone for 50 hours, but those superficial gains were dwarfed by the academic payoffs. Besides, I probably saved my parents a couple hundred dollars. I don’t like shopping much, and didn’t miss setting foot in a store for a year. As long as I kept my goals clear, and ran a structured schedule, I could avoid the procrastination-induced stress.