分类: 流浪花 |
Always fall into a trance, enraptly with the feeling of preexistence.
Staring at the candlelight, burning flaringly as an primrose inscription of the misty twilight, I am sitting here, inebriated in silence.
Standing airily on the twigs with incognizable smiles, the spring sprouts witness passers-by one after one, those always flitter in this world hastily. I wonder if there is someone as me, who like to stay here and observe the spring in this time, and marvelling at the greenness and afflatus of beings.
Sometimes I like to read the feelings and sentiments between the lines of those essays wrote before. All those have passed away, sometimes it is a little bit tired to remember everything and we are becoming more and more indifferent to the fame and wealth. Those people, those things and those storms, they came, and went, just like the C-train passing by the Café window. The lights are bright but just left a sweet impression and fade without a vestige left.
The pass just like the clouds, haunting about the end of the snowy mountains, and are observing the earthly jaded faces far away from them, coldly, or glass-eyedly.
No matter how furious befallens, or how earthshaking it does, there would be no evidence to prove it after the rinse of time. Maybe some poets wrote something laudatory, or some others recorded the history, but the most truth of that real moment, will not be confirmed in the end. We just conjure up, or retrospect it from the records time after time. ---- or, it may be the most charming point of the Fate!
Joy or sorrow, grief or hatred, love or aloofness, wind or storm…will fade out in the end. Everything will return to the jumping-off and start from scratch again.
In the circumstances, why the living beings still insist reincarnating time and again?
Although knowing every effort we made is futile to the decision of Fate, why the living beings are still clinging to struggle gainst the arrangement of God? Each effort is just a weak flash in the glory of Time, however, why we are so persistent always? ….?….?….
I have to stand in amazement, for the perseverance of living creatures, and for their regression in the bitter end after the never-ending struggles. Some told me that it is an apperception of the salvation. Is it true?
(to be continued.....)
--------------Chinese Version----------------
常常有种恍如隔世的感觉。
坐在灯下,看着摇曳的烛火,为黄昏的微光添上一点点淡黄的朦胧印记,不由得熏然。
窗外,嫩黄的新芽轻盈地站于枝头,带着春色的隐隐笑意,静静看着路人匆匆走近,离去,又一个走近,又匆匆离去…… 不知道有多少人,如我今夜般,偶然驻足细看,又默默惊叹,为生命的新鲜与清奇而震颤不已。
有时读回自己一路走来,写下的点点滴滴,字字句句,心情甚为静悦。风去浪退后,不知是否总容易泛起那点倦意,容易加快的心跳在岁月的流逝去中渐渐……淡然。那些人,那些事,那些潮起云涌,来了,又去了,如这一列列擦过窗畔的列车,灯火闪亮,留下的痕迹却只在一转念间,不再容易找到。
往事如浮云聚散,缠结在远方雪山的终点,冷冷地,或是毫无表情地,看着尘世间那些沧桑的倦颜,用一种无止境的静默,来回答喧嚣的质疑。
无论曾有多轰轰烈烈,无论曾有多惊泣天地,经由时间的洪流,最终无法留下一抹痕迹。纵然有诗人的赞叹,历史的记录,但那最真实一刻,早已无从见证,只有无尽的猜想与追忆而已。——这或也是命运的迷人之处吧!悲或喜,恨或愁,爱或不爱,风或雷雨,转眼间灰飞烟灭,一切回归于不变的起点上,又再从零开始。
那么,莽莽苍生,坚持着一次次轮回,一次次的演绎,又为的是什么呢?
明知惊鸿一博,振臂一呼,纵然用尽平生力气,最多也不过是时间那绚烂的光辉中,无法察觉的淡然一闪而已。又为何如此执着于不歇的反抗与挣扎呢?
时常惊叹于世间万物的不屈,又叹息于这些努力后依旧不变的平静回归。有人说,这是一种救赎后的领悟。
读着那美丽的宗教传说,想象着莉莉斯的倔强,路西法的不羁,夏娃的天真好奇,亚当的诚惶诚恐……我甚至忍不住为诞生于此间的精彩而叫好。降临地球,这并非一种堕落,而是一种新的体验,一种灵魂的艰难选择。
我不知道,若我是路西法的话,是否也会做出同样的抉择,背离神诋的宠信,而走上那条更孤独、更无助、更坎坷、但又更独立、更深不可测、风云变幻、看不到头的漫漫长路?但我知若他还站在这个地球的某个角落的话,他仍不会为自己的选择而感到悔恨哀伤,并且,他仍在努力奋斗着,不肯言退。本性如此,情何以堪?
思索至此,我竟只有对卷沉默了。
用沉默来回答所有的质疑与拷问,似乎不是有效的应对方法,但对于孤独的寻路者来说,竟也只好如此。
那同样沉默着的万物,不愿,不屑,不能,不敢,不堪,或甚至来不及发出一声叹息或呐喊,便于滚滚沧海中消失,湮灭,重现在另一段轮回的时空之中!往事遥不可及,也就只有沉默了。
当我遇到那些人或事时,我想也许,到了那一刻,我不会去问他们的感受,也不去多想他们的选择。
至少,在世界的尽头,有他们铭记的充分理由。
在现实的存在中,纵使星光灿烂,也不过是个被流放了的孤独灵魂。纵是无尽仙境,那些冷酷的法则,也从未因万物的牺牲、生命的美丽,而有所松懈。