中文在下面。谢谢小然（微博：张小然正面管教）

Last week, we bought a bag of "salmon sticks" for our cat, Peace. Thin long sticks which my 4yo girl S can hold in her little hand to feed the cat. She absolutely loves this connection. We call the sticks “Peace’s treats”.

 

The second time when she’s feeding Peace, she asks me: “Mommy, can I eat this cat food?” The word “of course not” almost bursts out of my mouth before I say: “You want to try to Peace’s treats?” She nods her head.

 

“You know it’s cat food, don't ya?”

 

She nods her head again: “But it smells fishy, I wanna taste it!”

 

“Well, if you really want,” I take a second to think through and decide to let her take “natural consequence” – I don't even know what the consequence will be? She will keep eating Peace’s treats from now on? She does not like it and will not eat it? She will add the cat food into her human meals? I don't need to know! I am not the NATURE – “Go ahead and try.”

 

“At least I know she wont die from eating cat food,” I tell myself in my heart: “Let’s see what we both will learn from this.”

 

She takes a tiny piece off the stick and put it into her mouth. “Ewh! Yuck!” She says and starts retching.

 

Just before I open my mouth to say something, her retching becomes real vomiting. A big mouthful of brown liquid comes out -- We just finished dinner, and this little girl ate a big bowl of chicken soup and two tortillas.

 

I can tell the liquid is just the undigested soup – she is not really sick, it’s just her body reaction to the stimulation of the unpleasant taste.

 

I take her to the bathroom: “If you feel like puking more, just stay here. You know what to do. It’s ok, you are not sick. Mommy is going to get you some water.”

 

Then I left without saying any more words. “No piggy baking – the first rule of natural consequence, don't say ‘See, I told you so’ to kids. Let them go through the consequence all by themselves. Just be there, just be there for them. ” I’m recalling what I teach in PD classes. “Let her take the consequence and life experience, but not fear towards the future. Do not cause fear to her. Be calm. Don't interfere her life, go with HER flow.” A lot of things goes through my mind, but I don't say anything.

 

While I am getting water, I hear her puking 3 more times. When I walk in the bathroom again, I see her puking is over, she is tearing toilet paper off, she is very calm, carefully tears one piece of paper off the roll, cleans her mouth and nose, takes the water from my hand, rinses her mouth, and drinks the rest up. Done.

 

“I wont eat cat food any more, it does not taste good. Peace can eat it.” S says while walking out of the bathroom, “Let’s go feed her!”

上周，我给我们的小猫苏皮买了袋“鱼条”。4岁半的甄小美可以用手拿细细长长的鱼条，直接喂苏皮。她非常喜欢这样。我们称这个“鱼条”为“苏皮的美食”。

 

甄小美第二次喂苏皮的时候问我：“妈妈，我可以吃这个猫粮吗？”我差点脱口而出“当然不行！”，但我没这样讲，我说：“你想吃苏皮的粮食啊？”她点点头。

 

“你知道这是猫的粮食，对吗？”

 

她又点点头说：“但是闻起来有鱼味！我想尝尝！”

 

“好吧，如果你真的想吃，”我快速思考，决定让她自己接受“自然结果”---我甚至不知道这个“自然结果”会是什么？她以后爱上吃猫量？她不喜欢或许不再吃？她在自己的饭里掺点猫粮？我不知道，我也不需要知道！我不是“自然”---我说：“那你就吃吧”。

 

“至少我知道她吃猫粮不会有生命危险。”我在心里告诉自己：“看看我们俩能学到什么吧？”

 

她掰下一点点放在嘴里，“呀！好难吃啊！”她边说边干呕起来。

 

我正想说话，她从刚才的干呕变成了真呕，一大口棕色液体从她嘴巴里吐了出来！---我们刚刚吃过晚饭，而且她吃了一大碗鸡汤和两个墨西哥玉米饼。

 

我能看得出来，那些液体是还没有消化的汤---她并没有生病，这只是她的身体对不好味道刺激做出的本能反映。

 

我把她带到洗手间：“如果你还想吐，就在这待一会儿，你知道怎么做。一切正常，你没有生病。妈妈去给你拿些水。”

 

然后我离开了。“不要泼冷水---自然结果的第一规则就是：不要对孩子说‘看，我都告诉过你了！’让他们自己体验自然结果。只要不离开，心理和精神不离开孩子，在那里！”我回想我教的正面管教课堂：“让她去接受自然结果和生活经历，但不要给她造成对未来的恐惧。不要给孩子增加恐惧。放松，不要干涉她的生活。顺应她的自然。”我头脑中想了很多，但什么都没再说。

 

倒水的时候，我听到她又吐了三声。当我走到卫生间时，她已经吐完了，正在撕卫生纸纸，很镇静、很仔细地只撕下一片，擦擦嘴，擦擦鼻子，接过我手中的水，漱漱口，把剩下的喝掉。结束。

“我不再吃猫粮了，不好吃，但苏皮可以吃。”小美边说边走出卫生间，“咱们来喂苏皮吧！”