加载中…张培基《背影》翻译
(2008-12-27 21:38:56)
标签：
杂谈 |
【题名】：张培基先生散文翻译中保存“质朴”风格的技巧——读《英译中国现代散文选》有感重庆交通学院学报：社会科学版论文(ZhangPeiJiXianShengSanWenFanYiZhongBaoCun“ZhiPu”FengGeDeJiQiao——Du《YingYiZhongGuoXianDaiSanWenXuan》YouGanZhongQingJiaoTongXueYuanXueBao：SheHuiKeXueBanLunWen)
【关键词】：《英译中国现代散文选》 张培基 翻译技巧
【keywords】：《YingYiZhongGuoXianDaiSanWenXuan》 ZhangPeiJi
FanYiJiQiao
【作者】：余元玲 【来源】：
知识词典
【期刊名称】：重庆交通学院学报：社会科学版(ZhongQingJiaoTongXueYuanXueBao：SheHuiKeXueBan)
【国际标准刊号】：1009-9794 【国内统一刊号】：50-1138/C
【作者单位】：重庆交通学院外国语学院，重庆400074(ZhongQingJiaoTongXueYuanWaiGuoYuXueYuan，ZhongQing400074)
【分类号】：H315.9 【页码】：-96-98 【出版年】：2004.2
在《英译中国现代散文选》中，翻译家张培基先生保存散文风格方面的技巧值得学习：句子短小、精悍，结构简单；用词简单、明了；修辞处理合理，力求通俗易懂；语言逻辑关系清晰；对文化因素处理得体，读者对译文无理解障碍。以上技巧的合理运用，翻译工作者可以此为鉴。
Back View of Father
我与父亲不相见已两年余了，我最不能忘记的是他的背影。
It has been more than two years since I last saw Father, and it is a back view of him, more than anything else, that has been making me think about him.
那年冬天，祖母死了，父亲的差事也交卸了，正是祸不单行的日子，我从北京到徐州，打算跟着父亲奔丧回家。
It was a winter, when misfortune loved company--Grandma died and Father lost his job. I left Beijing for Xuzhou to join father in hastening home for Grandma's funeral.
到徐州见着父亲，看见满院狼藉的东西，又想起祖母，不禁簌簌地流下眼泪。
Back in Xuzhou, seeing Father at his messy courtyard and thinking about Grandma, I could no longer control my tears.
父亲说，“事已如此，不必难过，好在天无绝人之路！”
Father said, ”You have to be more optimistic when things’ve come to such a pass. Heaven will always leaves a door open, as the saying goes.”
回家变卖典质，父亲还了亏空；又借钱办了丧事。
After arriving home in Yangzhou, Father sold off and pawned the household items to pay off his debts. And, he had to borrow money, again, to meet the funeral expenses.
这些日子，家中光景很是惨淡，一半为了丧事，一半为了父亲赋闲。丧事完毕，父亲要到南京谋事，我也要回北京念书，我们便同行。
Between Grandma’s funeral and Father’s unemployment, our family was reduced to downright poverty. The funeral over, I left for Beijing to school, in company with Father, who had to go to Nanjing to look for a new job.
到南京时，有朋友约去游逛，勾留了一日；第二日上午便须渡江到浦口，下午上车北去.
In Nanjing, being invited, I went into town and strolled around with some friends. And I had to ferry across the Yangtse River to Pukou the next morning for the afternoon train to Beijing.
父亲因为事忙，本已说定不送我，叫旅馆里一个熟识的茶房陪我同去。他再三嘱咐茶房，甚是仔细。但他终于不放心，怕茶房不妥帖；颇踌躇了一会。其实我那年已二十岁，北京已来往过两三次，是没有甚么要紧的了。他踌躇了一会，终于决定还是自己送我去。我两三回劝他不必去；他只说，“不要紧，他们去不好！”
Engaged, Father had decided not to see me off the railway station, but would ask a hotel waiter he knew to go with me, instead. He told the waiter again and again what to do, but still was not convinced the guy could manage it well. He hesitated and hesitated. In fact, as a twenty-year old who had already travelled by train to Beijing a couple of times, I could manage it all by myself. After some terrific mental struggle, he decided he himself was a better choice. I tried to talk him out of it, again and again, but his reply remained the same: “Never mind! Those guys won’t do it as well.”
我们过了江，进了车站。我买票，他忙着照看行李。行李太多了，得向脚夫行些小费，才可过去。他便又忙着和他们讲价钱。
On the other side of the River, we entered the railway station. While I was buying a ticket, Father was managing my luggage, quite a few items for which he had to tip the porters.
英译中的形合句因添加了connective，其长度似乎应该增加。对比证明，英译添加了connective，构成形合句，译文英语味趋浓，句子遣词不是增加，而是有所减少。试比较：
3. 老境却如此颓唐！他触目伤怀，自然情不能自已。情郁于中，自然要发之于外；家庭琐屑便往往触他之怒。
张译：
To think that he should now be so downcast in old age! The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow, and his pent-up emotion had to find a vent. That is why even mere domestic trivialities would often make him angry.
译笔拘谨，基本按照原文语序译出。就性质言，译文以意合句为主，意合转化为形合的意识在译文中得不到足够反映，connective使用不到位，洋洋洒洒，三句共计用了47个英语单词。
【关键词】：《英译中国现代散文选》 张培基 翻译技巧
【keywords】：《YingYiZhongGuoXianDaiSan
【作者】：余元玲
【期刊名称】：重庆交通学院学报：社会科学版(ZhongQingJiaoTongXueYuan
【国际标准刊号】：1009-9794
【作者单位】：重庆交通学院外国语学院，重庆400074(ZhongQingJiaoTongXueYuan
【分类号】：H315.9
Back View of Father
我与父亲不相见已两年余了，我最不能忘记的是他的背影。
It has been more than two years since I last saw Father, and it is a back view of him, more than anything else, that has been making me think about him.
那年冬天，祖母死了，父亲的差事也交卸了，正是祸不单行的日子，我从北京到徐州，打算跟着父亲奔丧回家。
It was a winter, when misfortune loved company--Grandma died and Father lost his job. I left Beijing for Xuzhou to join father in hastening home for Grandma's funeral.
到徐州见着父亲，看见满院狼藉的东西，又想起祖母，不禁簌簌地流下眼泪。
Back in Xuzhou, seeing Father at his messy courtyard and thinking about Grandma, I could no longer control my tears.
父亲说，“事已如此，不必难过，好在天无绝人之路！”
Father said, ”You have to be more optimistic when things’ve come to such a pass. Heaven will always leaves a door open, as the saying goes.”
回家变卖典质，父亲还了亏空；又借钱办了丧事。
After arriving home in Yangzhou, Father sold off and pawned the household items to pay off his debts. And, he had to borrow money, again, to meet the funeral expenses.
这些日子，家中光景很是惨淡，一半为了丧事，一半为了父亲赋闲。丧事完毕，父亲要到南京谋事，我也要回北京念书，我们便同行。
Between Grandma’s funeral and Father’s unemployment, our family was reduced to downright poverty. The funeral over, I left for Beijing to school, in company with Father, who had to go to Nanjing to look for a new job.
到南京时，有朋友约去游逛，勾留了一日；第二日上午便须渡江到浦口，下午上车北去.
In Nanjing, being invited, I went into town and strolled around with some friends. And I had to ferry across the Yangtse River to Pukou the next morning for the afternoon train to Beijing.
父亲因为事忙，本已说定不送我，叫旅馆里一个熟识的茶房陪我同去。他再三嘱咐茶房，甚是仔细。但他终于不放心，怕茶房不妥帖；颇踌躇了一会。其实我那年已二十岁，北京已来往过两三次，是没有甚么要紧的了。他踌躇了一会，终于决定还是自己送我去。我两三回劝他不必去；他只说，“不要紧，他们去不好！”
Engaged, Father had decided not to see me off the railway station, but would ask a hotel waiter he knew to go with me, instead. He told the waiter again and again what to do, but still was not convinced the guy could manage it well. He hesitated and hesitated. In fact, as a twenty-year old who had already travelled by train to Beijing a couple of times, I could manage it all by myself. After some terrific mental struggle, he decided he himself was a better choice. I tried to talk him out of it, again and again, but his reply remained the same: “Never mind! Those guys won’t do it as well.”
我们过了江，进了车站。我买票，他忙着照看行李。行李太多了，得向脚夫行些小费，才可过去。他便又忙着和他们讲价钱。
On the other side of the River, we entered the railway station. While I was buying a ticket, Father was managing my luggage, quite a few items for which he had to tip the porters.
[转贴]
恍悟于比较阅读之时
----从parataxis到hypotaxis
张培基教授的《英译中国现代散文选》是我的“床头书”之一，灯下翻阅，是睡前一种享受，既重温我国的字字珠玑的散文名作，又品尝了英译表达别样的丰姿。
张译不乏亮点，总体精彩可读。然，字里行间残留之不足，也让读者抱憾。试读：
1. 到南京时，有朋友约去游逛，勾留了一日；第二日上午便须渡江到浦口，下午上车北去。
----朱自清《背影》（以下汉语原文出处皆此）
张培基译文（以下简称“张译”）：
I spent the first day in Nanjing strolling about with some friends at their invitation, and was ferrying across the Yangtze River to Pukou the next morning and thence taking a train for Beijing on the afternoon of the same day.（42个单词）
对照阅读之下，一个强烈的视觉冲击是：原文简约，而英译竟如此拖沓！难道英语表达就应如此冗杂？且不说两个连词and如何令句子结构趋于松散，就论遣词，the next morning和on the afternoon of the same day夹在同一句中，其中必有可省略之成分！
读到此，笔者寻出杨宪益和戴乃迭所译的《背影》作参照阅览。不比不知道，一比便开窍。杨戴两位对上句的英译是：
A friend kept me in Nanjing for a day to see sights, and the next morning I was to cross the Yangtze to Pukou to take the afternoon train to the north.（32个单词）
果然，在杨戴的译文中把afternoon用作形容词，置于train之前，如此以一当九『afternoon (train) ＝a train (for Beijing) on the afternoon of the same day』，意思丝毫未改，而且更“信”。比如，杨将“上车北去”的“北”不是译成Beijing，而是译成north。
另外，张译之“有朋友约去游逛，勾留了一日”非常“铺张”，译成了I spent the first day in Nanjing strolling about with some friends at their invitation.从表层结构看，“游逛”被译成strolling about，“约”也被译成at their invitation，看似译笔细密，点滴不漏，其实，却经不起推敲。Strolling about是否译得太泛？at their invitation是否译得过于庄重？
比较阅读在灯下继续，便又有了新的发现。
2. 我们过了江，进了车站。我买票，他忙着照看行李。
张译不可谓不“忠”，亦步亦趋地译成了两句：
We entered the railway station after crossing the River. While I was at the booking office buying a ticket, father saw to my luggage.
再读杨译，发现译文紧缩为一句，系一“尾重”句。表达流畅，且英语味也浓郁。
We crossed the Yangtze and arrived at the station, where I bought a ticket while he saw to my luggage.
比较之下，我们宁可读杨译，为什么？寻思之下，关键恐怕在where一词，这个关系副词的使用，令两句自然“壁合”，紧接着又跟上一个while，译文就获得了流畅感和英语味。
比较阅读，感悟良多。形容这种感悟，可套用陶渊明在《桃花源记》中的一句：初极狭，才通人，复行数十步，豁然开朗。
恍悟于比较阅读之时
----从parataxis到hypotaxis
张培基教授的《英译中国现代散文选》是我的“床头书”之一，灯下翻阅，是睡前一种享受，既重温我国的字字珠玑的散文名作，又品尝了英译表达别样的丰姿。
张译不乏亮点，总体精彩可读。然，字里行间残留之不足，也让读者抱憾。试读：
1. 到南京时，有朋友约去游逛，勾留了一日；第二日上午便须渡江到浦口，下午上车北去。
----朱自清《背影》（以下汉语原文出处皆此）
张培基译文（以下简称“张译”）：
I spent the first day in Nanjing strolling about with some friends at their invitation, and was ferrying across the Yangtze River to Pukou the next morning and thence taking a train for Beijing on the afternoon of the same day.（42个单词）
对照阅读之下，一个强烈的视觉冲击是：原文简约，而英译竟如此拖沓！难道英语表达就应如此冗杂？且不说两个连词and如何令句子结构趋于松散，就论遣词，the next morning和on the afternoon of the same day夹在同一句中，其中必有可省略之成分！
读到此，笔者寻出杨宪益和戴乃迭所译的《背影》作参照阅览。不比不知道，一比便开窍。杨戴两位对上句的英译是：
A friend kept me in Nanjing for a day to see sights, and the next morning I was to cross the Yangtze to Pukou to take the afternoon train to the north.（32个单词）
果然，在杨戴的译文中把afternoon用作形容词，置于train之前，如此以一当九『afternoon (train) ＝a train (for Beijing) on the afternoon of the same day』，意思丝毫未改，而且更“信”。比如，杨将“上车北去”的“北”不是译成Beijing，而是译成north。
另外，张译之“有朋友约去游逛，勾留了一日”非常“铺张”，译成了I spent the first day in Nanjing strolling about with some friends at their invitation.从表层结构看，“游逛”被译成strolling about，“约”也被译成at their invitation，看似译笔细密，点滴不漏，其实，却经不起推敲。Strolling about是否译得太泛？at their invitation是否译得过于庄重？
比较阅读在灯下继续，便又有了新的发现。
2. 我们过了江，进了车站。我买票，他忙着照看行李。
张译不可谓不“忠”，亦步亦趋地译成了两句：
We entered the railway station after crossing the River. While I was at the booking office buying a ticket, father saw to my luggage.
再读杨译，发现译文紧缩为一句，系一“尾重”句。表达流畅，且英语味也浓郁。
We crossed the Yangtze and arrived at the station, where I bought a ticket while he saw to my luggage.
比较之下，我们宁可读杨译，为什么？寻思之下，关键恐怕在where一词，这个关系副词的使用，令两句自然“壁合”，紧接着又跟上一个while，译文就获得了流畅感和英语味。
比较阅读，感悟良多。形容这种感悟，可套用陶渊明在《桃花源记》中的一句：初极狭，才通人，复行数十步，豁然开朗。
[转贴]
我们知道，属于不同语系的英语和汉语在句法上各具特色，其间差异不一而足而。当代美国著名翻译家奈达在其Translating Meaning (1983)一书中指出：就汉语和英语而言，也许在语言学上最重要的一个区别，就是形合和意合的对比（contrast between hypotaxis and parataxis）。其实，“意合”一词，并非新词，我国著名的语法学家王力在其《中国语法理论》及《汉语语法纲要》两本书中都提到了“意合”问题。他在后者中言及：复合句里既有两个以上的句子形式，它们之间的联系有时候是以意合的……有的汉语语法书虽然没有提及“意合”一词，但涉及了此现象。如：《现代汉语》（下册）（张志公著）认为复合句分两类：“借助虚词组合成的复句”与“依靠语序直接组合成的复句”。
英语重形合，汉语重意合，这早已是人们的共识。英语借助connectives组成复句，而汉语则更多地依靠语序直接组合复句。比如：
汉语：东海缺少白玉床，龙王来请金陵王。
英译：If the Dragon King wants a white jade bed, he applies to the Wangs of Chiling, it’s said.
英译中的这个if是万万不可少的，否则就违反了英语的表达习惯。
因此，汉译英的过程中往往需要将意合句转化成形合句。从意合到形合，似乎很简单，好像就是增加一个connective就可以了。问题是如此简单吗？否，译者头脑中的形合/意合意识是否成熟，在很大程度上影响译文的质量。
我们知道，属于不同语系的英语和汉语在句法上各具特色，其间差异不一而足而。当代美国著名翻译家奈达在其Translating Meaning (1983)一书中指出：就汉语和英语而言，也许在语言学上最重要的一个区别，就是形合和意合的对比（contrast between hypotaxis and parataxis）。其实，“意合”一词，并非新词，我国著名的语法学家王力在其《中国语法理论》及《汉语语法纲要》两本书中都提到了“意合”问题。他在后者中言及：复合句里既有两个以上的句子形式，它们之间的联系有时候是以意合的……有的汉语语法书虽然没有提及“意合”一词，但涉及了此现象。如：《现代汉语》（下册）（张志公著）认为复合句分两类：“借助虚词组合成的复句”与“依靠语序直接组合成的复句”。
英语重形合，汉语重意合，这早已是人们的共识。英语借助connectives组成复句，而汉语则更多地依靠语序直接组合复句。比如：
汉语：东海缺少白玉床，龙王来请金陵王。
英译：If the Dragon King wants a white jade bed, he applies to the Wangs of Chiling, it’s said.
英译中的这个if是万万不可少的，否则就违反了英语的表达习惯。
因此，汉译英的过程中往往需要将意合句转化成形合句。从意合到形合，似乎很简单，好像就是增加一个connective就可以了。问题是如此简单吗？否，译者头脑中的形合/意合意识是否成熟，在很大程度上影响译文的质量。
背影 2 (2008-05-15
10:26:33)
[转贴]
杨译：
No one could have foreseen such a comedown in his old age! The thought of this naturally depressed him, and as he had to vent his irritation somehow, he often lost his temper over trifles.
如用“牵丝攀藤”写张译，那么，杨译则明快爽洁。诵读前者，恰如艰难举步于灌木丛中，而浏览后者，则是赤足奔跑在海边沙地上。
如此反差，也许可追溯到译文中的as。一个as，看似轻巧，实则不然。As折射了原文中的“因果”逻辑关系，使行文脉络朗现，逻辑突出，表达也就自然明澈。一个as就轻易替代了张译中的That is why…等众多累赘字眼。可以设想，没有这个表示逻辑关系的as，译文就得“绕道而行”，自然就得花费更多的笔墨。
汉译英，许多意合句改变为形合句，增加了connective，但句子却更精炼，遣词也减少的现象并非偶然。
但是，connective的使用，甚至多使用connectives，译文是否就一定趋简呢？未必！请看对比：
4. 我北来后，他写了一信给我，信中说道，“我身体平安，惟膀子疼痛利害，举箸提笔，诸多不便，大约大去之期不远矣。”
张译：
After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he said, “ I’m all right except for a severe pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing bushes. Perhaps it won’t be long now before I depart this life.”
此句使用的connectives“前呼后拥”，如：after/in which/except for/or等。但是，读来仍然摆脱不了“牵丝攀藤”的感觉，特别在读了下译后：
杨译：
After I came north he wrote to me: “My health is all right, only my arm aches so badly I find it hard to hold the pen. Probably the end is not far away.”
两句的字数比是：45：34。让人感到意外的是，杨译所使用的connective仅两个：After/so。
这又是为什么呢？两译对比，尤其是对so的思考，笔者茅塞顿开。
所谓connective，似可根据其作用，分为两类：一种是结构性的（structural connective），另一种是非结构性的（non-structural connective）。结构性的connective既折射句子内部逻辑关系，又是句子的框架性构件，“支撑”起英语句子，可谓“一箭双雕”。
而非结构性的connective不是句子的逻辑标记，仅是行文的纽带，承接上下文，如：
After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he said…
After I came north he wrote to me…
上译中的in which即非结构性connective，不反映逻辑关系，承上启下而已。使用了这样的connective，未必能简化表达，与he wrote me a letter相比，in which he said就显得罗嗦，徒增了行文的字数。
结构性的connective，化隐含的逻辑关系为明示的逻辑关系，假如依靠别的文字来描述或传达同样的逻辑关系，自然会多费笔墨。如：
I’m all right except for a severe pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing bushes.
Only my arm aches so badly I find it hard to hold the pen.
下译中的so，即属于结构性的connective。So虽不起眼，作用却大。So不仅使“惟膀子疼痛利害，举箸提笔，诸多不便”一句中隐含的因果关系“浮出水面”，令读者易懂，而且使句子结构豁然。而张译中的I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing bushes独立成句，逻辑上产生割裂感，“前不着村，后不着店”一般。
汉英翻译，对英语重形合，汉语重意合的规律只有朦胧印象或泛泛了解是远远不够的。光凭语感使用connective，也未必能够达到简化表达的目的。
只有对汉语原句作一番逻辑梳理，并亮出结构性的connective，译文才会显出优势。
杨译：
No one could have foreseen such a comedown in his old age! The thought of this naturally depressed him, and as he had to vent his irritation somehow, he often lost his temper over trifles.
如用“牵丝攀藤”写张译，那么，杨译则明快爽洁。诵读前者，恰如艰难举步于灌木丛中，而浏览后者，则是赤足奔跑在海边沙地上。
如此反差，也许可追溯到译文中的as。一个as，看似轻巧，实则不然。As折射了原文中的“因果”逻辑关系，使行文脉络朗现，逻辑突出，表达也就自然明澈。一个as就轻易替代了张译中的That is why…等众多累赘字眼。可以设想，没有这个表示逻辑关系的as，译文就得“绕道而行”，自然就得花费更多的笔墨。
汉译英，许多意合句改变为形合句，增加了connective，但句子却更精炼，遣词也减少的现象并非偶然。
但是，connective的使用，甚至多使用connectives，译文是否就一定趋简呢？未必！请看对比：
4. 我北来后，他写了一信给我，信中说道，“我身体平安，惟膀子疼痛利害，举箸提笔，诸多不便，大约大去之期不远矣。”
张译：
After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he said, “ I’m all right except for a severe pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing bushes. Perhaps it won’t be long now before I depart this life.”
此句使用的connectives“前呼后拥”，如：after/in which/except for/or等。但是，读来仍然摆脱不了“牵丝攀藤”的感觉，特别在读了下译后：
杨译：
After I came north he wrote to me: “My health is all right, only my arm aches so badly I find it hard to hold the pen. Probably the end is not far away.”
两句的字数比是：45：34。让人感到意外的是，杨译所使用的connective仅两个：After/so。
这又是为什么呢？两译对比，尤其是对so的思考，笔者茅塞顿开。
所谓connective，似可根据其作用，分为两类：一种是结构性的（structural connective），另一种是非结构性的（non-structural connective）。结构性的connective既折射句子内部逻辑关系，又是句子的框架性构件，“支撑”起英语句子，可谓“一箭双雕”。
而非结构性的connective不是句子的逻辑标记，仅是行文的纽带，承接上下文，如：
After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which he said…
After I came north he wrote to me…
上译中的in which即非结构性connective，不反映逻辑关系，承上启下而已。使用了这样的connective，未必能简化表达，与he wrote me a letter相比，in which he said就显得罗嗦，徒增了行文的字数。
结构性的connective，化隐含的逻辑关系为明示的逻辑关系，假如依靠别的文字来描述或传达同样的逻辑关系，自然会多费笔墨。如：
I’m all right except for a severe pain in my arm. I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing bushes.
Only my arm aches so badly I find it hard to hold the pen.
下译中的so，即属于结构性的connective。So虽不起眼，作用却大。So不仅使“惟膀子疼痛利害，举箸提笔，诸多不便”一句中隐含的因果关系“浮出水面”，令读者易懂，而且使句子结构豁然。而张译中的I even have trouble using chopsticks or writing bushes独立成句，逻辑上产生割裂感，“前不着村，后不着店”一般。
汉英翻译，对英语重形合，汉语重意合的规律只有朦胧印象或泛泛了解是远远不够的。光凭语感使用connective，也未必能够达到简化表达的目的。
只有对汉语原句作一番逻辑梳理，并亮出结构性的connective，译文才会显出优势。
[转贴]汉语意合句的内部逻辑关系，字面上“不动声色”，而内涵却丰富精彩。英译时，一不小心，就会滑入照字面直译的歧路，而不善使用形形色色的connectives，尤其是结构性的connectives。如：
1.早知今日，何必当初？
这是隐含“条件”从句的汉语意合句，英译不可少if：
If I had known it would come to this, I would have acted differently.
2.他老是见异思迁。
这是隐含“时间”从句的汉语意合句，英译不可少the moment:
He is always changing his mind the moment he sees something new.
3.江山易改，本性难移。
这是隐含“转折”关系的汉语意合句，英译不可少but:
It is easy to change rivers and mountains but hard to change a person’s nature.
4.总之，前途是光明的，道路是曲折的。
这是隐含“对比”关系的汉语意合句，英译不可少while:
In a word, while the prospects are bright, the road has twists and turns.
译者缺乏识破汉语原文所隐含的逻辑关系的“火眼金睛”，译文的精神必不能抖擞。如：
5. 我读到此处，在晶莹的泪光中，又看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影。唉！我不知何时再能与他相见！
从字面上看，上句没有显露逻辑之痕，但是，译者假如不识其面目（隐含“时间”从句的汉语意合句），照字面“老老实实”地去译，那将获得怎样的译文呢？
张译：
Through the glistening tears which these words had brought to my eyes I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long to see him again!
“看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影”应该如何理解？其中隐藏着怎样的逻辑关系？这是一个需要结合上文细加推敲的问题。其“逻辑”背景是：当父亲离我而去的时候，我看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影。这个“逻辑”背景是全文之“眼”。汉语是成熟的语言，“当父亲离我而去的时候”不必言明，此意已经很自然地溶入字里行间，读者足以意会。但是，在英译时，译者就必须遵从英语表达习惯，应该化隐为显，变无为有。遗憾的是，张译显然没有注意到这一点，而是作了直译：I again saw the back of father…句中的动宾搭配（saw/back），基本沿袭了汉语原句的动宾结构（看见/背影）。
请读杨译：
When I read this, through a mist of tears I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me. Shall we ever meet again?
此译抛弃了原句的动宾结构，而是另立新的动宾搭配：saw / his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket。这样就腾出了使用connective的空间，译笔多有创意！果然，紧接着出现了一个as（注：这是典型的结构性connective），非常清晰和有层次感地传递了“背影”出现的时间。as his burly figure walked away from me在原句里寻找不到相对应的字眼，却能在上文里寻找到此译的背景。由as引导的从句，贯通了上下文，并成功点题，把父亲的“背影”给译活了，这比单纯地写I again saw the back of father…更让人喝彩。如果说，译文I again saw the back of father…是死板的、平面的、孤立的，而译文I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me则是鲜活的、立体的、贯通上文的。
英语的形合表达，竟有此妙处，这是我们始料不及的。此外，我们不应忘记，一个as省略了多少赘词！从张译的43个单词缩减到33个！
6. 我看见他戴着黑布小帽，穿着黑布大马褂，深青布棉袍，蹒跚地走到铁道边，慢慢探身下去，尚不大难。可是他穿过铁道，要爬上那边月台，就不容易了。
张译：
I watched him bobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossing the railway track.（51词）
没有比较，就没有鉴别。孤立读此译文，觉得并无明显不妥。意思到位，且文字清通。然而，世间万物，总经不起比较，译文亦不例外。把目光投向杨译时，读者的第一个感觉：张译的累赘和杨译的明快。此外，令人称奇的是，杨译的as he waddled to the tracks and climbed slowly down和上一句译文中的as his burly figure walked away from me有异曲同工之妙！于是，读者再次慨叹译者不同凡响的hypotaxis consciousness。
1.早知今日，何必当初？
这是隐含“条件”从句的汉语意合句，英译不可少if：
If I had known it would come to this, I would have acted differently.
2.他老是见异思迁。
这是隐含“时间”从句的汉语意合句，英译不可少the moment:
He is always changing his mind the moment he sees something new.
3.江山易改，本性难移。
这是隐含“转折”关系的汉语意合句，英译不可少but:
It is easy to change rivers and mountains but hard to change a person’s nature.
4.总之，前途是光明的，道路是曲折的。
这是隐含“对比”关系的汉语意合句，英译不可少while:
In a word, while the prospects are bright, the road has twists and turns.
译者缺乏识破汉语原文所隐含的逻辑关系的“火眼金睛”，译文的精神必不能抖擞。如：
5. 我读到此处，在晶莹的泪光中，又看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影。唉！我不知何时再能与他相见！
从字面上看，上句没有显露逻辑之痕，但是，译者假如不识其面目（隐含“时间”从句的汉语意合句），照字面“老老实实”地去译，那将获得怎样的译文呢？
张译：
Through the glistening tears which these words had brought to my eyes I again saw the back of father’s corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long to see him again!
“看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影”应该如何理解？其中隐藏着怎样的逻辑关系？这是一个需要结合上文细加推敲的问题。其“逻辑”背景是：当父亲离我而去的时候，我看见那肥胖的，青布棉袍，黑布马褂的背影。这个“逻辑”背景是全文之“眼”。汉语是成熟的语言，“当父亲离我而去的时候”不必言明，此意已经很自然地溶入字里行间，读者足以意会。但是，在英译时，译者就必须遵从英语表达习惯，应该化隐为显，变无为有。遗憾的是，张译显然没有注意到这一点，而是作了直译：I again saw the back of father…句中的动宾搭配（saw/back），基本沿袭了汉语原句的动宾结构（看见/背影）。
请读杨译：
When I read this, through a mist of tears I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me. Shall we ever meet again?
此译抛弃了原句的动宾结构，而是另立新的动宾搭配：saw / his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket。这样就腾出了使用connective的空间，译笔多有创意！果然，紧接着出现了一个as（注：这是典型的结构性connective），非常清晰和有层次感地传递了“背影”出现的时间。as his burly figure walked away from me在原句里寻找不到相对应的字眼，却能在上文里寻找到此译的背景。由as引导的从句，贯通了上下文，并成功点题，把父亲的“背影”给译活了，这比单纯地写I again saw the back of father…更让人喝彩。如果说，译文I again saw the back of father…是死板的、平面的、孤立的，而译文I saw his blue cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure walked away from me则是鲜活的、立体的、贯通上文的。
英语的形合表达，竟有此妙处，这是我们始料不及的。此外，我们不应忘记，一个as省略了多少赘词！从张译的43个单词缩减到33个！
6. 我看见他戴着黑布小帽，穿着黑布大马褂，深青布棉袍，蹒跚地走到铁道边，慢慢探身下去，尚不大难。可是他穿过铁道，要爬上那边月台，就不容易了。
张译：
I watched him bobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossing the railway track.（51词）
没有比较，就没有鉴别。孤立读此译文，觉得并无明显不妥。意思到位，且文字清通。然而，世间万物，总经不起比较，译文亦不例外。把目光投向杨译时，读者的第一个感觉：张译的累赘和杨译的明快。此外，令人称奇的是，杨译的as he waddled to the tracks and climbed slowly down和上一句译文中的as his burly figure walked away from me有异曲同工之妙！于是，读者再次慨叹译者不同凡响的hypotaxis consciousness。
[转贴]
试读杨译：
So I watched him in his black cloth cap and jacket and dark blue cotton-padded gown, as he waddled to the tracks and climbed slowly down ---- not so difficult after all. But when he had crossed the lines he had trouble clambering up the other side.（47词）
由于使用了as，父亲的两个动作（waddled to the tracks / climbed slowly down）就比较紧密地联系起来。结构性的connective的运用能够使译文更趋畅洁，语势如瀑，奔泻酣畅。而这两个动作在张译中彼此遥隔23个单词，语势因此而受阻。如：
I watched him bobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track.
杨译使用了as，形容词短语not so difficult after all即能自然跟出，随后的两个connective（but/when）即刻暗示读者：要climbing up也许就不那么容易了。果然，读者读到：he had crossed the lines he had trouble clambering up the other side，承接圆润自如。
再读张译：
He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossing the railway track.
虽然也使用了but，但是两个并列句的使用令遣词重复，句式呆板，用力平均，且had little trouble与a lot more difficult之间呈“遥望”之势。
杨译给我们的启示是：要识别汉语原句隐含的逻辑关系，在英译时，化意合句为形合句，有时就可以甚至必须跳出汉语句式的束缚，让调整过的句式更多体现“靠近原则”（vicinity principle），从而获得译文语势的流畅美。
这是否可以说是英语形合句的一种新优势呢？
7. 过铁道时，他先将橘子散放在地上，自己慢慢爬下，再抱起橘子走。
张译：
In crossing the railway track, he first put the tangerines on the ground, climbed down slowly and then picked them up again.
如前所说，汉译英时需要有强烈的形合意合意识，要善用connectives，但是，多用未必就好。以上的张译就根据汉语原句中的几个连续发生的动作（散放/爬下/抱起等），根据先后顺序，一一译出。（如：put/climbed down/picked them up），条理清晰，层层递进。
再读杨译：
He put these on the platform before climbing slowly down to cross the lines, which he did after picking the fruit up.
短短一句，译者连续使用了几个connectives（before/which/after等），颇有点让读者眼花缭乱。尤其是句末的which he did after picking the fruit up，令读者如入迷宫，一下子难以醒悟：这个which到底指代上文何词？经过琢磨，方能领悟，这个which是指climbing slowly down to cross the lines。因多用了connectives而使译文由简单变得复杂，由流畅变得曲折，这可以说是一个典型的译例。
8. 这时我看见他的背影，我的泪很快地流下来了。我赶紧拭干了泪，怕他看见，也怕别人看见。
有的语言学家经过长期的观察，悟出了一个精彩比喻：英语句子称为“葡萄型”结构，葡萄主干很短，其上附结着丰硕的果实。而汉语句子则较短，一个短句接一个短句地往下叙述，逐步展开，信息内容像竹竿一样一节一节地通下去，很少有叠床架屋的结构，因而汉句似“竹竿型”结构。他们认为：英汉互译就犹如在“葡萄”与“竹竿”之间作转换。
这个比喻非常出色。所谓的“葡萄”与“竹竿”之间的转换，通俗言之，在汉译英中，即将汉语短句化成英语长句。“化”之关键，是吃透汉语原句中类似竹子的各短句之间的逻辑，而后使用结构性的connectives将它们连接起来，而成为葡萄状结构。
以第8句汉语为例，它前后分成两句。因此，英译就存在两种可能，一是“依样画葫芦”，也译成两句。张译便是如此：
While I was watching him from behind, tears gushed from my eyes. I quickly wiped them away lest he or others should catch me crying.
汉语原句，似“竹竿”，分两节，难道其内部就不存在逻辑关系了吗？
不，原句前后间隐含着转折，我们完全可以在两句之间添加“但是”二字，如：
这时我看见他的背影，我的泪很快地流下来了。但是，我赶紧拭干了泪，怕他看见，也怕别人看见。
杨译能“识破”内含的转折，巧用connective，把两句“捏”成一句：
At the sight of his burly back tears started to my eyes, but I wiped them hastily so that neither he nor anyone else might see them.
“竹子”如何变成了“葡萄”？其中结构性的connective（but）起了关键作用。而后半句使用的so that则更使全句一气呵成，浑然一体。
试读杨译：
So I watched him in his black cloth cap and jacket and dark blue cotton-padded gown, as he waddled to the tracks and climbed slowly down ---- not so difficult after all. But when he had crossed the lines he had trouble clambering up the other side.（47词）
由于使用了as，父亲的两个动作（waddled to the tracks / climbed slowly down）就比较紧密地联系起来。结构性的connective的运用能够使译文更趋畅洁，语势如瀑，奔泻酣畅。而这两个动作在张译中彼此遥隔23个单词，语势因此而受阻。如：
I watched him bobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track.
杨译使用了as，形容词短语not so difficult after all即能自然跟出，随后的两个connective（but/when）即刻暗示读者：要climbing up也许就不那么容易了。果然，读者读到：he had crossed the lines he had trouble clambering up the other side，承接圆润自如。
再读张译：
He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossing the railway track.
虽然也使用了but，但是两个并列句的使用令遣词重复，句式呆板，用力平均，且had little trouble与a lot more difficult之间呈“遥望”之势。
杨译给我们的启示是：要识别汉语原句隐含的逻辑关系，在英译时，化意合句为形合句，有时就可以甚至必须跳出汉语句式的束缚，让调整过的句式更多体现“靠近原则”（vicinity principle），从而获得译文语势的流畅美。
这是否可以说是英语形合句的一种新优势呢？
7. 过铁道时，他先将橘子散放在地上，自己慢慢爬下，再抱起橘子走。
张译：
In crossing the railway track, he first put the tangerines on the ground, climbed down slowly and then picked them up again.
如前所说，汉译英时需要有强烈的形合意合意识，要善用connectives，但是，多用未必就好。以上的张译就根据汉语原句中的几个连续发生的动作（散放/爬下/抱起等），根据先后顺序，一一译出。（如：put/climbed down/picked them up），条理清晰，层层递进。
再读杨译：
He put these on the platform before climbing slowly down to cross the lines, which he did after picking the fruit up.
短短一句，译者连续使用了几个connectives（before/which/after等），颇有点让读者眼花缭乱。尤其是句末的which he did after picking the fruit up，令读者如入迷宫，一下子难以醒悟：这个which到底指代上文何词？经过琢磨，方能领悟，这个which是指climbing slowly down to cross the lines。因多用了connectives而使译文由简单变得复杂，由流畅变得曲折，这可以说是一个典型的译例。
8. 这时我看见他的背影，我的泪很快地流下来了。我赶紧拭干了泪，怕他看见，也怕别人看见。
有的语言学家经过长期的观察，悟出了一个精彩比喻：英语句子称为“葡萄型”结构，葡萄主干很短，其上附结着丰硕的果实。而汉语句子则较短，一个短句接一个短句地往下叙述，逐步展开，信息内容像竹竿一样一节一节地通下去，很少有叠床架屋的结构，因而汉句似“竹竿型”结构。他们认为：英汉互译就犹如在“葡萄”与“竹竿”之间作转换。
这个比喻非常出色。所谓的“葡萄”与“竹竿”之间的转换，通俗言之，在汉译英中，即将汉语短句化成英语长句。“化”之关键，是吃透汉语原句中类似竹子的各短句之间的逻辑，而后使用结构性的connectives将它们连接起来，而成为葡萄状结构。
以第8句汉语为例，它前后分成两句。因此，英译就存在两种可能，一是“依样画葫芦”，也译成两句。张译便是如此：
While I was watching him from behind, tears gushed from my eyes. I quickly wiped them away lest he or others should catch me crying.
汉语原句，似“竹竿”，分两节，难道其内部就不存在逻辑关系了吗？
不，原句前后间隐含着转折，我们完全可以在两句之间添加“但是”二字，如：
这时我看见他的背影，我的泪很快地流下来了。但是，我赶紧拭干了泪，怕他看见，也怕别人看见。
杨译能“识破”内含的转折，巧用connective，把两句“捏”成一句：
At the sight of his burly back tears started to my eyes, but I wiped them hastily so that neither he nor anyone else might see them.
“竹子”如何变成了“葡萄”？其中结构性的connective（but）起了关键作用。而后半句使用的so that则更使全句一气呵成，浑然一体。
9.
近几年来，父亲和我都是东奔西走，家中光景是一日不如一日。
张译：
In recent years, both father and I have been living an unsettled life, and the circumstances of our family going from bad to worse.
杨译：
The last few years father and I have been moving from place to place, while things have been going from bad to worse at home.
两译相比，使用了不同的connectives，前者：and；后者：while。
须知，英语中形形色色的connectives其“分量”有轻有重，有庄重的，也有轻描淡写的。比如：and和while虽然都可以用作“对比”的逻辑标记，但是，and显得轻巧随意，而while则是较为严肃郑重些。
如：Robert is secretive and David is candid.
罗伯特为人深藏不露，戴维却是有啥说啥。
此句中的形容词secretive和candid本身就已经存在较为强烈的对比关系，因此，一个and就能凸现对比。若用while，就显得没有必要了。
又如：Certain foods trigger the desire to eat more, while others tend to suppress that desire.
有些食物能够引发你多吃一点的食欲，而有些食物则让你的食欲减退。
此句就不宜使用and作为connective，因为，and的使用不能充分体现原句所含的对比意味。
再回过头来看张译，译文中的and就欠妥，且不说and前后并不存在secretive和candid那样鲜明的对照关系的形容词，再者，and后面已经不是一个句子，而是一个独立结构（the circumstances of our family going from bad to worse），这样，原句所含的对比关系便难以得以鲜明的表露。与其说and起对比作用，不如说and起了连接作用。
杨译不用and而用while，此外，杨译的后半句不是使用独立结构而是另辟一句，这样前后对比便得以凸现。更值得称道的是，杨译在while前后使用了非常漂亮的parallelism（平行结构）：have been moving from … to …/ have been going from … to …，结构齐整漂亮，而且音律铿锵上口。让读者回味再三。
本讲通过对两篇译文的对比，意在说明作为审美主体的译者的头脑中的形合与意合的意识的深浅和强弱对其译文将起到何等重大的影响。将汉语“竹竿型”的句子如何“化”成“葡萄型”的结构，是形合和意合的意识的具体化。而在这个“化”的过程中，认识和使用英语的connective就成了一个关键。是否可以打个这样比方：英语句子如葡萄，主干极短，却能“挂”许多果子，全靠connectives的黏合作用。
行文至此，我们已经知道，所谓的connectives无非就是通常意义上的连词、副词等，为何不直接称连词或副词呢？
这还需要从权威英语词典对hypotaxis和parataxis的释义说起。
笔者在众多的外版辞书中发现以下两条释义深入浅出、扼要简明，并附有例句，现摘抄如下：
Hypotaxis: the dependent or subordinate construction or relationship of clauses with connectives; for example, I shall despair if you don’t come
---The American Heritage Dictionary P.649
Parataxis: the arranging of clauses one after the other without connectives showing the relation between them. I.e.: the rain fell; the river flooded; the house was washed away.
---- The World Book Dictionary P.1513
两部外版词典，在释义中，不约而同地使用了connectives，给我们这样一种启示：使用connectives不仅增加了其涵盖面和精确性，而且connectives已经成为约定俗成的遣词。我们还是沿袭这个惯例为好。
转自：http://home.hjenglish.com/bbs/mdetail_49_83374_4.htm
张译：
In recent years, both father and I have been living an unsettled life, and the circumstances of our family going from bad to worse.
杨译：
The last few years father and I have been moving from place to place, while things have been going from bad to worse at home.
两译相比，使用了不同的connectives，前者：and；后者：while。
须知，英语中形形色色的connectives其“分量”有轻有重，有庄重的，也有轻描淡写的。比如：and和while虽然都可以用作“对比”的逻辑标记，但是，and显得轻巧随意，而while则是较为严肃郑重些。
如：Robert is secretive and David is candid.
罗伯特为人深藏不露，戴维却是有啥说啥。
此句中的形容词secretive和candid本身就已经存在较为强烈的对比关系，因此，一个and就能凸现对比。若用while，就显得没有必要了。
又如：Certain foods trigger the desire to eat more, while others tend to suppress that desire.
有些食物能够引发你多吃一点的食欲，而有些食物则让你的食欲减退。
此句就不宜使用and作为connective，因为，and的使用不能充分体现原句所含的对比意味。
再回过头来看张译，译文中的and就欠妥，且不说and前后并不存在secretive和candid那样鲜明的对照关系的形容词，再者，and后面已经不是一个句子，而是一个独立结构（the circumstances of our family going from bad to worse），这样，原句所含的对比关系便难以得以鲜明的表露。与其说and起对比作用，不如说and起了连接作用。
杨译不用and而用while，此外，杨译的后半句不是使用独立结构而是另辟一句，这样前后对比便得以凸现。更值得称道的是，杨译在while前后使用了非常漂亮的parallelism（平行结构）：have been moving from … to …/ have been going from … to …，结构齐整漂亮，而且音律铿锵上口。让读者回味再三。
本讲通过对两篇译文的对比，意在说明作为审美主体的译者的头脑中的形合与意合的意识的深浅和强弱对其译文将起到何等重大的影响。将汉语“竹竿型”的句子如何“化”成“葡萄型”的结构，是形合和意合的意识的具体化。而在这个“化”的过程中，认识和使用英语的connective就成了一个关键。是否可以打个这样比方：英语句子如葡萄，主干极短，却能“挂”许多果子，全靠connectives的黏合作用。
行文至此，我们已经知道，所谓的connectives无非就是通常意义上的连词、副词等，为何不直接称连词或副词呢？
这还需要从权威英语词典对hypotaxis和parataxis的释义说起。
笔者在众多的外版辞书中发现以下两条释义深入浅出、扼要简明，并附有例句，现摘抄如下：
Hypotaxis: the dependent or subordinate construction or relationship of clauses with connectives; for example, I shall despair if you don’t come
---The American Heritage Dictionary P.649
Parataxis: the arranging of clauses one after the other without connectives showing the relation between them. I.e.: the rain fell; the river flooded; the house was washed away.
---- The World Book Dictionary P.1513
两部外版词典，在释义中，不约而同地使用了connectives，给我们这样一种启示：使用connectives不仅增加了其涵盖面和精确性，而且connectives已经成为约定俗成的遣词。我们还是沿袭这个惯例为好。
转自：http://home.hjenglish.com/bbs/mdetail_49_83374_4.htm
英译中的形合句因添加了connective，其长度似乎应该增加。对比证明，英译添加了connective，构成形合句，译文英语味趋浓，句子遣词不是增加，而是有所减少。试比较：
3. 老境却如此颓唐！他触目伤怀，自然情不能自已。情郁于中，自然要发之于外；家庭琐屑便往往触他之怒。
张译：
To think that he should now be so downcast in old age! The discouraging state of affairs filled him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow, and his pent-up emotion had to find a vent. That is why even mere domestic trivialities would often make him angry.
译笔拘谨，基本按照原文语序译出。就性质言，译文以意合句为主，意合转化为形合的意识在译文中得不到足够反映，connective使用不到位，洋洋洒洒，三句共计用了47个英语单词。
喜欢
0
赠金笔
前一篇：译学词典:编者主体性
后一篇：朱自清《匆匆》