原文:
背影
我与父亲不相见已二年余了,我最不能忘记的是他的背影。那年冬天,祖母死了,父亲的差使也交卸了,正是祸不单行的日子,我从北京到徐州,打算跟着父亲奔丧回家。到徐州见着父亲,看见满院狼藉的东西,又想起祖母,不禁簌簌地流下眼泪。父亲说,“事已如此,不必难过,好在天无绝人之路!”
回家变卖典质,父亲还了亏空;又借钱办了丧事。这些日子,家中光景很是惨澹,—半为了丧事,—半为了父亲赋闲。丧事完毕,父亲要到南京谋事,我也要回北京念书,我们便同行。
到南京时,有朋友约去游逛,勾留了一日;第二日上午便须渡江到浦口,下午上车北去。父亲因为事忙,本已说定不送我,叫旅馆里—个熟识的茶房陪我同去。他再三嘱咐茶房,甚是仔细。但他终于不放心,怕茶房不妥帖;颇踌躇了—会。其实我那年已二十岁,北京已来往过两三次,是没有甚么要紧的了。他踌躇了—会,终于决定还是自己送我去。我两三回劝他不必去;他只说,"不要紧,他们去不好!”
我们过了江,进了车站。我买票,他忙着照看行李。行李太多了,得向脚夫行些小费,才可过去。他便又忙着和他们讲价钱。我那时真是聪明过分,总觉他说话不大漂亮,非自己插嘴不可,但他终于讲定了价钱;就送我上车。他给我拣定了靠车门的一张椅子;我将他给我做的紫毛大衣铺好坐位。他嘱我路上小心,夜里要警醒些,不要受凉。又嘱托茶房好好照应我。我心里暗笑他的迂;他们只认得钱,托他们直是白托!
而且我这样大年纪的人,难道还不能料理自己么?唉,我现在想想,那时真是太聪明了!
我说道,“爸爸,你走吧。”他望车外看了看,说,“我买几个橘子去。你就在此地,不要走动。”我看那边月台的栅栏外有几个卖东西的等着顾客。走到那边月台,须穿过铁道,须跳下去又爬上去,父亲是—个胖子,走过去自然要费事些。我本来要去的,他不肯,只好让他去。我看见他戴着黑布小帽,穿着黑布大马褂,深青布棉袍,蹒跚地走到铁道边,慢慢探身下去,尚不大难。可是他穿过铁道,要爬上那边月台,就不容易了。他用两手攀着上面,两脚再向上缩;他肥胖的身子向左微倾,显出努力的样子。这时我看见他的背影,我的泪很快地流下来了。我赶紧拭干了泪,怕他看见,也怕别人看见。我再向外看时,他已抱了朱红的橘子望回走了。过铁道时,他先将橘子散放在地上,自己慢慢爬下,再抱起橘子走。到这边时,我赶紧去搀他。他和我走到车上,将橘子一股脑儿放在我的皮大衣上。于是扑扑衣上的泥土,心里很轻松似的,过一会说,“我走了;到那边来信!"我望着他走出去。他走了几步,回过头看见我,说,“进去吧,里边没人。”等他的背影混入来来往往的人里,再找不着了,我便进来坐下,我的眼泪又来了。
近几年来父亲和我都是东奔西走,家中光景是一日不如一日。他少年出外谋生,独力支持,做了许多大事。那知老境却如此颓唐!他触目伤怀,自然情不能自己。情郁于中,自然要发之于外;家庭琐屑便往往触他之怒。他待我渐渐不同往日。但最近两年的不见,他终于忘却我的不好,只是惦记着我,惦记着我的儿子。我北来后,他写了一信给我,信中说道,“我身体平安,惟膀子疼痛厉害,举箸提笔,诸多不便,大约大去之期不远矣。”我读到此处,在晶莹的泪光中,又看见那肥胖的,青布棉袍,黑布马褂的背影。唉!我不知何时再能与他相见!
译文1:(选自中国文学出版社编,《中国文学·现代散文卷》汉英对照,外语教学与研究出版社,1998年出版。)
My Father’s Back
Though it is over two years since I saw my father, I can never
forget my last view of his back. That winter my grandmother died,
and my father' s official appointment was terminated , for troubles
never come singly. I went from Beijing to Xuzhou, to go back with
him for the funeral. When I joined him in Xuzhou I found the
courtyard strewn with things and could not help shedding tears at
the thought of granny.
"What' s past is gone," said my father. " It ' s no use grieving.
Heaven always leaves us some way out. "
Once home he sold property and mortgaged the house to clear our
debts, besides borrowing money for the funeral. Those were dismal
days for our family, thanks to the funeral and father' s
unemployment. After the burial he decided to go to Nanjing to look
for a position, while I was going back to Beijing to study, so we
travelled together. A friend kept me in Nanjing for a day to see
the sights, and the next morning I was to cross the Yangtze to
Pukou to take the afternoon train to the north. As father was busy
he had decided not to see me off, and he asked a waiter we knew at
our hotel to take me to the station, giving him repeated and most
detailed instructions. Even so, afraid the fellow might let me
down, he worried for quite a time. As a matter of fact I was
already twenty and had travelled to and from Beijing on several
occasions, so there was no need for all this fuss. But after much
hesitation he finally decided to see me off himself, though I told
him again and again there was no need.
"Never mind, " he said. "I don't want them to go. "
We crossed the Yangtze and arrived at the station, where I bought a
ticket while he saw to my luggage. This was so bulky that we had to
hire a porter, and father started bargaining over the price. I was
such a bright young man that I thought some of his remarks
undignified, and butted in myself. But eventually he got them to
agree to a price, and saw me on to the train, choosing me a seat by
the door, on which I spread the black sheepskin coat he had made
me. He warned me to be on my guard during the journey, and to take
care at night not to catch cold. Then he urged the attendant to
keep an eye on me, while I laughed up my sleeve at him ---- all
such men understood was money! And wasn' t I old enough to look
after myself? Ah, thinking back, what a bright young man I was!
"Don' t wait, father, " I said.
He looked out of the window.
"I'Il just buy you a few tangerines," he said. "Wait here, and don'
t wander off. "
Just outside the station were some vendors. To reach them he had to
cross the lines, which involved jumping down from the platform and
clambering up again. As my father is a stout man this was naturally
not easy for him. But when I volunteered to go instead he would not
hear of it. So I watched him in his black cloth cap and jacket and
dark blue cotton-padded gown, as he waddled to the tracks and
climbed slowly down ---- not so difficult after all. But when he
had crossed the lines he had trouble clambering up the other side.
He clutched the platform with both hands and tried to heave his
legs up, straining to the left. At the sight of his burly back
tears started to my eyes, but I wiped them hastily so that neither
he nor anyone else might see them. When next I looked out he was on
his way back with some ruddy tangerines. He put these on the
platform before climbing slowly down to cross the lines, which he
did after picking the fruit up. When he reached my side I was there
to help him up. We boarded the train together and he plumped the
tangerines down on my coat. Then he brushed the dust from his
clothes, as if that was a weight off his mind.
"I'Il be going now, son, " he said presently. "Write to me once you
get there. "
I watched him walk away. After a few steps he turned back to look
at me.
"Go on in! " he called. "There' s no one in the compartment. "
When his back disappeared among the bustling crowd I went in and
sat down, and my eyes were wet again.
The last few years father and I have been moving from place to
place, while things have been going from bad to worse at home. When
he left his family as a young man to look for a living, he
succeeded in supporting himself and did extremely well. No one
could have foreseen such a come-down in his old age! The thought of
this naturally depressed him, and as he had to vent his irritation
somehow, he often lost his temper over trifles. That was why his
manner towards me had gradually changed. But during these last two
years of separation he has forgotten my faults and simply wants to
see me and my son. After I came north he wrote to me:
"My health is all right, only my arm aches so badly I find it hard
to hold the pen. Probably the end is not far away. "
When I read this, through a mist of tears I saw his blue
cotton-padded gown and black jacket once more as his burly figure
walked away from me. Shall we ever meet again?
译文2:(选自张培基译注,《英译中国现代散文选》(汉英对照),上海:上海外语教育出版社,1999年出版。)
The Sight of Father's
Back
It is
more than two years since I last saw father, and what I can never
forget is the sight of his back. Misfortunes never come singly. In
the winter of more than two years ago, grandma died and father lost
his job. I left Beijing for Xuzhou to join father in hastening home
to attend grandma's funeral. When I met father in Xuzhou, the sight
of the disorderly mess in our courtyard and the thought of grandma
started tears trickling down my cheeks. Father said, "Now that
things've come to such a pass, it's no use crying. Fortunately,
Heaven always leaves one a way out."
Father paid off debts by selling or pawning things. He also
borrowed money to meet the funeral expenses. Between grandma's
funeral and farther's unemployment, our family was then in reduced
circumstances. After the funeral was over, father was to go to
Nanjing to look for a job and I was to return to Beijing to study,
so we started out together.
I spent the first day in Nanjing strolling about with some friends
at their invitation. I was ferrying across the Yangtse River to
Pukou the next morning and thence taking a train for Beijing on the
afternoon of the same day. Father said he was too busy to go and
see me off at the rail-way station, but would ask a hotel waiter
that he knew to accompany me there instead. He urged the waiter
again and again to take good care of me, but still did not quite
trust him. He hesitated for quite a while about what to do. As a
matter of fact, nothing would matter at all because I was then
twenty and had already travelled on the Beijing-Pukou Railway a
couple of times. After some wavering, father finally decided that
he himself would accompany me to the station. I repeatedly tried to
talk him out of it, but he only said, "Never
mind! It won't do to trust guys like those hotel
boys !"
We entered the railway station after crossing the River. While I
was at the booking office buying a ticket, father saw to my
luggage. There was quite a bit of luggage and he had to bargain
with the porter over the fee. I was then such a smart aleck that I
frowned upon the way father was haggling and was on the verge of
chipping in a few words when the bargain was finally clinched.
Getting on the train with me, father picked me a seat close to the
carriage door. I spread on the seat the-brownish-fur-lined overcoat
father had got tailor made for me. He told me to be watchful on the
way and be careful not to catch cold at night. He also asked the
train attendants to take good care of me. I sniggered at father for
being so impractical, for it was utterly useless to entrust me to
those attendants, who cared for nothing but money. Besides, it was
certainly no problem for a person of my age to look after himself.
Oh, when I come to think of it, I can see how smarty I was in those
days !
I said,
"Dad, you might leave now." But he looked out of the window and
said, "I'm going to buy you some tangerines. You just stay here.
Don't move around." I caught sight of several vendors waiting for
customers outside the railings beyond a platform. But to reach that
platform would require crossing the railway track and doing some
climbing up and down. That would be a strenuous job for father who
was fat. I wanted to do all that myself, but he stopped me, so I
could do nothing but let him go. I watched him hobble towards the
railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket
and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown. He had little trouble
climbing down beside the railway track, but it was a lot more
difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossing the
railway track. His hands held onto the upper part of the platform,
his legs huddled up and his corpulent body tipped slightly towards
the left, obviously making an enormous exertion. While I was
watching him from behind, tears gushed from my eyes. I quietly
wiped them away lest he or others should catch me crying. The next
moment when I looked out of the window again, father was already on
the way back, holding bright red tangerines in both hands. In
crossing the railway track, he first put the tangerines on the
ground, climbed down slowly and then picked them up again. When he
came near the train, I hurried out to help him by the hand. After
boarding the train with me, he laid all the tangerines on my
overcoats and patting the dirt off his clothes, he looked somewhat
relieved and said after a while, "I must be going now. Don't forget
to write me from Beijing !" I gazed after his back retreating out
of the carriage. After a few steps, he looked back at me and said,
" Go back to your seat. Don't leave your things alone." I, however,
did not go back to my seat until his figure was lost among crowds
of people hurrying to and fro and no longer visible. My eyes were
again wet with tears.
In recent years, both father and I have been living an unsettled
life, and the circumstances of our family going from bad to worse.
Father left home to seek a livelihood when young and did achieve
quite a few things all on his own. To think that he should now be
so downcast in old age ! The discouraging state of affairs filled
him with an uncontrollable feeling of deep sorrow, and his pent-up
emotion had to find a vent. That is why even mere domestic
trivialities often provoked his anger, and he became less and less
nice with me. However, the separation of the last two years has
made him more forgiving towards me. He keeps thinking about me and
my son. After I arrived in Beijing, he wrote me a letter, in which
he says, "I'm all right except for a severe pain in my arm. I even
have trouble using chopsticks or writing brushes. Perhaps it won't
be long now before I depart this life." Through the glistening
tears which these words had brought to my eyes, I again saw the
back of father's corpulent form in the dark blue cotton-padded
cloth long gown and the black cloth mandarin jacket. Oh, how I long
to see him again !
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