总瞥见左上角那张云端的背影，2005年的夏威夷，窈窕的自己。

 

身形日益彪悍，最严重一次是怀John，起码重了50磅，虎背熊腰，像头母狮；怀双胞胎那次，幸好早产，不然只怕更加立体。

 

胃口好，吃东西从不色色斟酌，又时常跟着孩子恣意欢笑，怡然自悦，营养不全吸收才怪。

 

这次还好，至少自我感觉不离谱，即便如此，衣服也在日益显小。生好这胎，从此告别肥壮的人身，未来多么值得期待。

 

妈夸我寄去的去疤膏奇效，说三十几年前剖腹的刀疤，才涂了一天，颜色已变淡。“真是神奇！”她开心得像个孩子，转头又念叨：“其实也无所谓啦，这个地方，谁也看不见。”

 

好似作了我一次体验模特，待剖腹后，我也要试试，小腹底部那条横着的疤，像条大蚯蚓，丑陋至极。

 

禁不住孩子两眸清炯炯的凝视，安安看我，每隔几秒叫一声“妈咪”每次我都认真地应，猜不透他小脑袋里想着什么，他总是凝视我，深深的微笑，又不停要亲我，疑似我前世的恋人，——埋怨我，当初不合种相思。

 

很多事不知端底，大部分是未经的。不知道有不知道的好处，怀个惴想，在某个静谧的下午，啜口咖啡细细思量，如果有时间的话。——实在这样的悠闲，如今很少了。

 

他们香梦沉酣，我独自清醒，不舍得睡掉这片宁静，上网的时间极不值钱，倏忽夜深，再不去睡似乎又要对不起谁，人活着不自由，怎么可能自由。

 

开着窗，轻寒风剪剪，洛杉矶的夏夜，由不得你不爱。

 

一早起来看Michael Jackson追悼会，众星云集，说不尽Michael的点点滴滴。

 

 

[There's nothing strange about your Daddy, it's the strange he had to deal with.]

——AI Sharpton对着台下三个孩子这样说他们的父亲。

 

Jermaine Jackson唱弟弟最喜欢的歌[Smile]，全场动容。

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smileWith your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you'll just...
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just...
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...

If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just Smile...

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just Smile.

 

其他歌星的演绎，每一首都教你落泪：

 

Andrae Crouch Choir,——Soon and Very Soon

Mariah Carey and Trey Lorenz——I'll Be There

Lionel Richie——Jesus Is Love

Stevie Wonder——Never Dreamed You'd Leave in Summer

Jennifer Hudson——Will You Be There

John Mayer——Human Nature

Usher——Gone Too Soon

Shaheen Jafargholi——Who's Loving You

Group——We Are the World/Heal the World

 

一些明星的追忆：

 

[I can't stop crying; this is too sudden and shocking. I am unable to imagine this. My heart is hurting. I am in prayer for his kids and family. I am trying to find closure, I want you to know that even though I am not there at the Staples Center. I am there in my heart. I have decided to pause and be silent. This feels right for me. Michael was a personal love of mine, a treasured part of my world, part of the fabric of my life in a way that I can't seem to find words to express. Michael wanted me to be there for his children, and I will be there if they ever they need me. I hope, today brings closure for all those who loved him. Thank you Katherine and Joe for sharing your son with the world and with me. I send my love and condolences to the Jackson family.]

——Diana Ross

 

[May god cover you, Michael...I would not be the artist, performer and philanthropist I am today without the influence of Michael...He broke barriers, he changed radio formats! With music, he made it possible for people like Oprah Winfrey and Barack Obama to impact the mainstream world.]

——Usher

 

[He was a kind, genuine, wonderful mand...I loved him very much and will miss him every remaining day of my life.]

——Liza Minnelli

 

[I am having a  million reactions right now. When I  think of him, I think of this boy, this teenager I first met...He was a great teenager, optimistic and adorable.]

——Cher

 

[My heart...my mind...are broken. I loved Michael with all my soul and I can't imagine life without him...My life feels so empty. I don't think anyone knew how much we loved each other. The purest, most giving love I've ever known. Oh, God! I'm going to miss him. I can't yet imaginelife without him. But I guess with God's help...I'll learn. I keep looking at the photo he gave me of himself, which says, ‘To my true love Elizabeth, I love you forever.' And, I will love him forever.]

——Elizabeth Taylor

 

[I am full of grief. I feel privileged to have hung out and worked with Michael. He was a massively talented boy-man with a gentle soul.]

——Paul McCartney

 

[My heart is overcome with sadness for the devastating loss of my true friend Michael. He was an extraordinary friend, artist and contributor to the world. I join his family and his fans in celebrating his incredible life and mourning his untimely passing.]

——Brooke Shields

 

[We have lost a genius and a true ambassador of not only pop music, but of all music...My heart goes out to his family and loved ones.]

——Justin Timberlake

 

[I can't stop crying over the sad news. I have always admired Michael Jackson. The world has lost one of the greats, but his music will live on forever! My heart goes out to his three children and other members of his family. God bless.]

——Modnna

 

[He will always be the King of Pop...We are all honored to have been alive in this generation to experience the magic of michael Jackson. I love you, Michael!]

——Beyonce

 

[For Michael to be taken away from us so suddenly at such a young age, I just don't have the words..He had it all...He was the consummate entertainer...I've lost my little brother today and part of my soul has gone with him.]

——Quincy Jones

 

[I was so excited to see his show in London. We were going to be on tour in Europe at the same time and I was going to fly in to see him. He has been an inspiration throughout my entire life adn I'm devastated he's gone!]

——Britney Spears

 

[Obviously Michael Jackson was a spectacular performer and a music icon. I think everybody remembers hearing his songs, watching him moonwalk on television during Motown’s 25th anniversary. He had aspects of his life that were sad and tragic. And my condolences go out to the Jackson family and to the fans that mourned his loss.]

——Barack Obama